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The desire for bareback sex comes up in discussion after discussion, and I must say, it puzzles me. I don't really see the appeal. I do have bareback sex with my wife but I don't particularly mind condoms. I've never really noticed that much of much difference in the general quality of the sex. So, I thought I'd ask... what is the appeal of bareback sex?

That seems a poor strategy. Members of that Web site are liable to become reluctant to send you a message if they suspect it might subsequently be put on display for public critique.

I think it is perfectly ok to feel extra special when you are with a favorite playmate. That's kind of what it is all about really, having fun and feeling that way you do when all things are going great. It's just a simple fact of life that you sync better with some people than with others. Just like with friends. There are casual friends, close friends, special friends. You are friends with all of them, but those friendships just are all on different levels. Playmates are no different. That you may sync better with one friend or playmate doesn't minimize what you share with any of the others, but some people you just have a special connection with, and that's ok.

My wife and I had a long talk about this before our first trip to the club. We really dressed up nice. When dropping our daughter off at the babysitters we were asked if we were going to an award ceremony or something. I always figured, going to a club, dress to impress, so we dressed nice. She got several compliments on her dress as well. What we were surprised about though was how everyone was dressed so different. Yeah, some people were dressed as nice as us, others in jeans. To me though, it seemed like the couples dressed in jeans weren't really trying. It wasn't just the jeans, but everything else about them as well. They just were not trying to impress anyone at all, they also did not talk to anyone, very few people approached them and they never went back to the play rooms. That made up my mind for me. We will never wear jeans to the club. The next time we went, we did not dress near as nice, but still no jeans.

Thank you for trying to understand my thoughts. Just to clear up I am not leaving my husband. I love him and he is the greatest thing in my life. My vacation lover is just that, a vacation lover. In private we have so much fun. When we are in a group he is different. I know him and his wife are a great couple. I have been alone with him a handful of times. All memorable nights. I can't say I can remember every time my husband and I have sex. I mentioned we have sex almost every morning. I enjoy that it's the way we start the day most of the time. Sometimes I just feel it's just not different. We have an hour. I hate being a clock watcher but at the 45 minute mark my mind is already in the we better hurry spot. When I've been with the friend we are never rushed. It's a night. My husband and I aren't always rushed and we have had long nights. I think it's just that with the vacation lover I am feeling special.

It is normal since, for me anyway, it has usually been the result of sexual chemistry. I'm now 61 and still remember vividly a few women...well 3 in particular, 2 ONS and one 3 week relationship where the skin contact was electrifying. Now I have been in the LS on and off since the late 70s..never with a SO that was very significant, so whenever my GF of the moment would after a swap be glowing because the male of the other couple had been amazing, it would not hurt my ego but definitely pinch it. The 4 women I had long relationships with(including my soulmate ex-wife) were against swinging and I knew a situation like the one you're in would have been very difficult for me to deal with. With these 4 women I was all-in emotionally, mentally and physically. In that mode it is impossible for me to separate sex from love and I can't imagine a random evening after a day of work watching TV with my SO and hear her tell me that the last few days she has been longing for that swap partner that I know she likes a lot.....even if she tells me that I'm still #1, I would wonder if she is not just trying to spare my feelings and that would have made sex with her not impossible but a huge challenge. I've known when in relationships that I was not the biggest cock, best looking guy or best body my GFs had been with, but because of my passion, intensity and very high sex drive I needed to feel like the one she would think of when getting horny. But when you start swapping the possibility of a very special connection for your SO with another partner exists and even if I know I'm number 1 in real life as the life partner, the one she chooses to share the highs and lows of life 24/7 with the bills, mortgages, maybe kids etc...knowing I'm not number 1 anymore in bed, in my ''all-in relationships'' would have been devastating. Now I suppose your husband is different, is not threatened by your feelings for that other guy, reads your posts and knows about this...and if I'm wrong let me know. By the way, if I had a dollar for every time I've read a swinger saying that a certain partner was not better but different then their SO, I would be living on a beach somewhere....to me it's a PC way swingers have found to spare their SO's feelings. I've been sexually hyper-active for 44 years...yes all the women were different in bed, but can I make a top ten list? you bet I can and the funniest thing is that with these 10 all-time best sexual partners I would rather have root canal treatment than be their bf! So now the question is are your feelings evolving? becoming stronger? do they have an impact on your sex life at home or on your couple? Do you see yourself spending a weekend or maybe spending more time than that with that man? You should look into this and be very very careful, feelings have a life and a mind of their own. Affective reactions defy reason and logic. Blaise Pascal, a French mathematician, physicist, inventor, writer and philosopher said: 'The heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of'

Mrs. P here! He definitely 100% knows that I'm married with four kids. He's not pushy at all about setting things up. And I ALWAYS check with Mr. O several times before accepting a date.