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You share a fantasy many guys have once they have been in a secure relationship for a while. It was my fantasy as well and one I never thought or dreamed I would see but time and patience made it all happen. And the outcome has brought us closer together and the sex is even hotter. I learned a couple of things along the way and it verifies what others have said that have had success as well: 1. Don't push the agenda. Needs to be slow and patient. 2. You will not be able to convince her. She needs to come to a level of comfort on her own terms and time. 3. Provide opportunities that allow her to explore a little further each time. 4. Reassure her that you love her and her only. And you are not jealous of seeing her pleasured by others. 5. Make it all about her. She makes the final decisions each time as to how far she wants to go. It has taken some time but it is unbelievable now where we are and we continue to explore...together!

It's very hard to tell what exactly is happening between you and your wife with just the words you write here. That's true for any of us; text is very limiting. But, from what I'm reading, it seems like you and your wife are not fully communicating about this. You say you don't talk about your fantasies, and apparently she doesn't either, out of fear. This is a big, big, red warning flag. The two of you need to be much more open with your communication, much more at liberty to discuss your fantasies. You say you've been working on this for two years, yet you are still fearful of her knowing your full fantasies. I would not be too eager to take many steps forward before you and her have a much better understanding of each other's deepest fantasies. Two years might seem like a long time, but for some couples this is nothing. I've read here of couples that took more than 10 years before getting to their first swinging experience. Going to an adult resort or club at this point I think is too much, too soon. You could easily overwhelm her, and turn her off of the idea forever. I like the ideas that people are proposing, of going to a nice nightclub. Have her dress in something very appealing that she feels comfortable in. If she doesn't feel comfortable, it will not go well. Even if it's less revealing than you would like, if she's more comfortable it will go better. Just having men hit on her would be a nice step. Going slow is ok, but be willing to be more open with yourself. Make sure she feels welcome in talking with you about her fantasies. Never say anything negative. Be supportive, appreciative, and loving.

Lots of great advice being offered. I tend to be more on the careful side, so side with that advice regarding neighbors; is it really worth the risk? There's a lot of ways it can go bad. They could reject you at first suggest, then tell neighbors, mutual friends, etc. behind your back. They could accept, you begin playing with them, one of you falls in love with a play partner, then things get real complicated, real quick. Another potential problem is that while you are new to swinging, you quite possibly have a lot more experience at this than they do. Swinging isn't usually a thing people decide on the spot; it's something you build up to. It could be that you start playing, they're not really ready for it, and their relationship is damaged by the experience. There's lots of variables here, most of them unknown. Now, it could go well. It could also go poorly but the ramifications of it going poorly might be negligible. There's ways in which this works out quite well. There could be some crazy sexy hot play times in the pool ahead of you. I would be careful about mixing too much alcohol with this though; if it takes them quite a few drinks to be ready to play, it's likely the case they are not ready to swing at all. One of the hard parts here is that they are your neighbors. IF it goes bad, there's no 'retreat'. Something said around here a lot; make friends of swingers, not swingers of friends. Lots of truth in that. I've held to that advice myself for many years. There are a couple of women of my acquaintance whom I'd like to share a bed with. But, they are friends...I've no idea if they are swingers, and I'm not going to bring it up. Well, except once, but that's a story for another time, and not directly pertinent here. Oh, I just forgot something I wanted to add on. I would be careful about using a ruse to feel them out as to their receptivity. There's a few reasons for this; one, you might be called on the ruse and have to back it up and if it's not true, you've just been dishonest with them. Two, you might gauge their receptivity completely wrong. Without asking a more direct question or making things more directly clear, you won't really know what they are thinking or how receptive they are. Just some thoughts.

We finally had our first full swap last weekend. We had gotten into the lifestyle after I had confessed one night to Tiki that I would enjoy watching another man fuck her. We had started out with that finally this last weekend at hotel party we met up with another couple. I had seen her with another man but she had never seen me with another woman and we were both wondering how she would feel. Turns out she said she loved watching me with another woman and I thoroughly enjoyed watching her get fucked again. Looks like we're hooked!

Wife likes her boyfriends to come in her. If she doesn't know them, then its on her.

A would like to share with you a thought process that I use to help people understand the difference between cheating and swinging. I take them back to when they were in college or high school. When you were in school, generally speaking the rules when you were taking a test in school was that there were no books, notes or cheat sheets of any kind allowed. If you did you one of these aids while taking the test you were CHeATING! However, occasionally there would be a test given where you were allowed to use either your notes or your text book or any combination of the two. What is the difference between these two scenarios? In the Second instance there is no violation of the "trust" between that student and the teacher. The student has "permission" to use the aids. In the first case it is an absolute violation of the "rules" and while you may get away with cheating on a test a few times, almost universally sooner or later it will be discovered. That is the difference between swinging and cheating. If you wanted to carry the analogy a little bit further, on occasion when a teacher/professor offered extra freedom when taking a test by allowing use of aids, I saw a few instances when the student would opt to use only the knowledge in their head and refuse the use of notes/book. For what reason who knows, pride, bragging points, or just because they felt they knew the material well enough and didn't need it. This would be comparable to a spouse offering this freedom to their partner and for whatever reason the partner chooses not to take the opportunity.

As Marvin and Tammy sang, "ain't nothing like the real thing" (unless of course you can't GET the real thing)

Good point SA_NewtoLS

You HAVE TO BE ABLE to completely OPEN UP about EVERYTHING. It's not easy to do and it comes with making yourself extremely vulnerable, but if you want that from her, you must give it first. How do you make your wife more open to swinging? Trust her and tell her your fantasies and she will hopefully do the same (no guarantee here). But YOU have to take that first huge leap of faith. We all keep saying the same thing: You have to talk to her...not in the bedroom when your are having sex, but somewhere where you aren't playing and can be serious and honest. This is the only way to get to where you want to go. If you want to get there, we have shown you the road, it's up to you to try and take it, and then see if she comes along with you. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

I'd be careful with the bolded part. As someone said earlier, if it takes them too many adult beverages to get in to things, they may regret it in the morning and you've got a larger problem on your hands.

Neighbors might not be forever, they are nevertheless there for a while. We have remain on the best of terms with our immediate neighbors; one of their windows looks directly in on our hot tub. They have been over, they know that there are "no swim suits allowed" in the hot tub, and if they happen to be home when the hot tub is in use, they close that shade. It is an arrangement that has worked comfortably for all concerned for eight years. Yes, we have invited them over, and they have declined. It's a mutual understanding that is in everyone's best interest. As it happens, one of the neighbor couple is prominent in county government. She could probably cause trouble for us if they wished. But the simple fact is that they do not--because they understand that a good neighbor brings value to them and to the neighborhood. We mention all of this because, in our experience, it made more sense to establish that we were good neighbors first and later to invite them over. That said, there's another couple from the neighborhood, an older couple that came to our home when we hosted a neighborhood meeting about this or that issue a few years back. Nice gracious people, outwardly conservative, enjoyed the little house tour that we give. They stayed a bit after the meeting, volunteered to help us clean up (there wasn't much to do--we had paper plates, plastic cups and so on). It was a cool night, we mentioned that we were going to get into the hot tub and asked if they wanted to join us. They grinned and said, "we were hoping you would ask!" The imemdiate neighbors closed the shade.

I think my late wife and I would not be wondering if the couple swings. Instead we would be telling each other, "Wow! Beth and Henry really seem to have it together." We'd set our goal at becoming more acquainted with them, and try to learn more about their personalities. After a hundred questions such as "How do y'all feel about chocolate donuts?" Laura would ask them,"How do y'all feel about group sex/swinging/swapping spouses." Notice that this is not an invitation, just an attempt to explore their thoughts as you've done before. It cannot be answered with "yes" or "no" and must result in a discussion. The woman should ask the question, since ladies are perceived as less sexually threatening. If they ask, "Why do you ask?" tell them, "No fair to answer a question with a question!" Then go on. "We read a sexy story on Swingers Board/Penthouse/Playboy and have been talking about it. I was wondering what y'all might think." (Be prepared to find the magazine and share it with them.) My wife asked this question many times in our 27 year marriage. The most common answer was, "We've talked about it." The least common (but best) was, "We've only done it once, but we loved it! We've been wantin' to fuck y'all so bad! Wanna do it now?" If at any time they seem negative, ask them, "How do y'all feel about Sesame Street's new character?"

I love pubic hair! Lots of it is fine as long as it is shaved on the essential parts. I have a square patch over my penis right now.

I have and maintain regularly my Brazilian wax, my husband prefers his ladies soft and smooth. I'd rather not have someone flossing their teeth while they are down there eating

Good luck and keep the updates coming... BTW, where does one find women in or looking for a poly relationship? Just curious...

Establish your ground rules, trust your wife and enjoy yourself. When my wife and I started swinging, I was only comfortable with same room play. Slowly, I grew comfortable with the idea of leaving the room where she was playing for a time and coming back. Now, I really enjoy it when she goes off to the club on her own and comes back with stories of her escapades. I do have one question - the guy she's dating does know about you, right? Because that's important and you didn't actually say one way of another. As long as everyone is open and honest and knows what the ground rule are, have fun... but definitely make sure the other guys knows his role in all this.

My girlfriend really likes inside her. Even during mfm threesome she prefers myself and the other guy to cum in her.

Our idea of club clothing….

Being a squirter has never held a woman back, in our experience in the lifestyle to date. Play partners generally would like to know if a woman is a squirter, and appreciate a little warning before the gushing takes place. But there are lots of people who will just put something waterproof down, and enjoy the show!

I find that I really love feeling a man cum inside. I'm pretty tight and sensitive so feeling him swell and then explode with heat is amazing. Personally I hate it on the face. My husband did it once and I felt so disgusting I cried and we didn't have sex for like two days. Though in contrast I love when he decides to cum on my little breasts, he's a heavy enough cummer he pretty much covers them. I've only recently had a man cum in my asshole. I'd done a little anal but my husband had always pulled out and either gone back to my pussy or my breasts. One of my new guys came really deep in my anus and it actually felt really good.

I rarely see it on new profiles but certed, older profiles, I've seen some say they think chemistry is important and not numbers. I've seen pics of some really nice looking 0 weights. And some nice looking 99 yr olds too. And even more who decided their fav number is 69 Get pics if you can. But even then, wasn't there someone here who once said he met a woman, looked great. When she unpeeled the push it up, tuck it in, lift it up under clothes, it was like being with a totally different lady. So even in person fashion can fool you regarding looks.