Leaderboard

Hey older couple, As Dave and I are not exactly youngsters, we also have found that being in the Lifestyle has opened us up to new and exciting friends. As we are BOTH nudists all our lives, we have many fellow nudists who are married couples and in the Lifestyle like us, and you are right, the Vibe is important, but Dave and I are very Erotically Spiritual I like to call it, where when with the right people nude or clothed, I get wet and Dave gets hard. That's a measure for us. I too, dislike bras and panties, and we both go Commando when we can. Laura

I will definitely post my speech here when I'm done. I have a little over a week to finish preparing it and then deliver it in class. You all have shared some fantasic insight and I can't wait to share my speech with everyone. So far the class, for the most part, seems to be verY interested on what I have to say. Although I'm pretty sure most of them are wondering about me now!

They are the one with 2 eyes, 2 arms and 2 legs. Some have breasts and some have a penis. Hope this helps. If you are a swinger, look in the mirror. That's what a swinger looks like.

With all respect, I have to disagree with this estimation. I'm from Indiana. If your figure is correct, that means that throughout all of Indiana, there are 246 married people who are swingers. I've seen more than half that number on one night at a swingers club. Searching SLS, I rapidly exceed that number in a local search, not even covering the entire state...and that's just sls and those that have been there in the last month. It's very hard to put a figure on it, but swinging is a multimillion dollar business nationwide, with conventions sometimes attracting near a thousand couples. I'd say a more realistic figure is in the .1% to 1% range. That's a guess too, but such a range would certainly allow for the numbers I see on SLS and at swingers clubs.

Crazed is an apt name. Unless you two thrive on drama you are truly crazy to continue to have contact with this whack-a-doodle couple. Run, don't walk to your phone, block them, unfriend them on FB and forget where they live. Nothing good will come of this for you.

I think it is awesome that you are going to use this subject for your talk. We started down this path only a few months ago and we are taking it slow but already we have discovered a lot of things that we wouldn't have imagined. Our main motivation was to explore fantasies together but as we've progressed a little it's become more than that, we love the dressing up, making an effort, the fact that it's our dirty little secret , we feel like 2 naughty school mates most of the time, a nice feeling for two forty somethings. I wish people on the outside looking in knew that we're not wierd or perverted, just normal people. I wish they could understand how much deeper I love my wife and that our love is still growing after 20 years together. I wish they knew how different it was to cheating, a big surprise for us was just how much cheating was frowned upon in the lifestyle. A lot of people on these forums often say how people in the lifestyle are some of the nicest people you will ever meet, we would like to echo that message, we haven't had many meets but so far everybody has been so amazing to spend time with. I wish people knew that it's not just about the sex, so far our adventure is going well and the focus has always been on us as a couple, our trust has developed greater than we thought possible, since we started sharing all our thoughts we feel like we are the absolute best of friends.

I remember seeing a poll here years ago which asked the question which would you prefer, FMF or MFM. Ok, the results are biased as it was all readers of this forum taking the poll But, among guys the answer was 2:1 in favor of MFM. Personally, I love MFMs as I love seeing my wife enjoy being the center of attention and having non-stop sex.

A would like to share with you a thought process that I use to help people understand the difference between cheating and swinging. I take them back to when they were in college or high school. When you were in school, generally speaking the rules when you were taking a test in school was that there were no books, notes or cheat sheets of any kind allowed. If you did you one of these aids while taking the test you were CHeATING! However, occasionally there would be a test given where you were allowed to use either your notes or your text book or any combination of the two. What is the difference between these two scenarios? In the Second instance there is no violation of the "trust" between that student and the teacher. The student has "permission" to use the aids. In the first case it is an absolute violation of the "rules" and while you may get away with cheating on a test a few times, almost universally sooner or later it will be discovered. That is the difference between swinging and cheating. If you wanted to carry the analogy a little bit further, on occasion when a teacher/professor offered extra freedom when taking a test by allowing use of aids, I saw a few instances when the student would opt to use only the knowledge in their head and refuse the use of notes/book. For what reason who knows, pride, bragging points, or just because they felt they knew the material well enough and didn't need it. This would be comparable to a spouse offering this freedom to their partner and for whatever reason the partner chooses not to take the opportunity.

Wife likes her boyfriends to come in her. If she doesn't know them, then its on her.

I had a couple say it is just a vibe you feel when you are around some people. But I'm not sure about that. My wife and I have been swinging for 40 years. Married 44. Raised six kids. Pretty sure not all of them are mine. There is no way to count the men she has serviced over the years. She is a devout nudist, hates clothes and has a fantastic all over tan and has all her body hair permanently removed. She hasn't worn panties or bras her whole life. She has an award winning magnetic personality. Everyone instantly likes her. She enjoys going to church. Everyone in he church especially kids just love her and everyone damn near stand up and cheers when she enters the church. I am sure there is no swinger vibe anywhere there. But as soon as I walk into the place, I instantly get "Yuk, a pervert" look. Now I think, but not sure, that could be a swinger vibe; or I'm just not as beautiful and sexy as my wife. Older Couple

Looking back, it was amazing that we survived going to a "club" (it was a residential party house") and it might not have gone well had not a couple that was acting as "guides" made assimilating easy. Between the two of them, we really felt comfortable and safe in this house full of strangers. But even with our lengthy experience in the LS, we just aren't the "club" types. Since we had already been seduced by one couple in one part of the country, then transferred to yet another part and found the second couple, well we were already accustomed to full swap. In fact as a discussion before replying once again, we really hadn't heard of the term called soft swing. Guess we were doing some of that before the original couple pulled us into the LS. Still, all the advice we read from others on the site is truly compassionate and solid advice. The very first couple that we enjoyed was a remarkable time. But it was in the fashion of separate room swapping. (Yes, in those days it wasn't the Life Style, it was crudely stated as "wife swapping" or just plain "swinging." We tended to call it swinging as the wife swap terminology seemed really incorrect. After all the hubbies were getting swapped as well. LOL It seemed complicated for us as we didn't realize that we were being seduced. It just wasn't in our minds to even do this, let alone be brave enough to edge toward the path so many take today pursuing the opportunity to be in the lifestyle. Frankly, there was not "support system" like this forum to help couples ease into...or completely abandon the engagement of the LS. We both admit that just hearing the sounds emanating from the swapped couples created an excitement and indeed, a comfort, knowing that our spouses were enjoying their new found pleasure. Eventually, we abandoned the separate rooms and all shared the same play area (oh yes, we managed to foursome fuck in almost every room of our respective houses. During those events, all of us expressed passion with sounds of fucking that ranged from seemingly primordial orgasmic screams to encouragement to fuck her/him. The experiences of two different couples certainly cemented that we knew we were into recreational sex. We really never made love as that is a state of mind in our personal definition exclusive to our marriage. We did enjoy lots of "recreational" sex (and still do). Rules? We really didn't have any rules with regard to the first two couples. Our participation with them just seemed to always be the intent that we would enjoy any and all sex acts. We hadn't even thought about someone becoming abusive and stupidly, we never used protection as birth control was the primary concern. But the application to join the "club" introduced us to certain rules and sort of woke us up. The club had four rules: (1) No Means NO! (2) No abuse, spanking, slapping (3) No drugs/smoke of anything and (4) No anal without a condom and no intercourse thereafter without removing the condom. They essentially had no safe sex rules other than an attempt at "sanitation." That whole set of circumstances which invoked the rules was a wake up to us. We certainly didn't expect to ever be in a situation with our first two couples to even have to concern ourselves about these conditions. It was good that folks who were into the "club" situations had the presence to discuss them. We were even told each of the two times we went to the club those same rules at the door. As to easing into this, we can only say that we certainly did but then we were seduced over a ten month period. Going to the "club" was so far a departure to our heretofore experience that had we not already had the sexual action before we might have just turned around. However, after we had decided we were going to the club we made up our own rules. Essentially, if Mrs Afterwork was not comfortable then Mr Afterwork should not expect to participate. We expected that we would not be playing on the first visit. We just wanted to get an idea of the environment. Everyone was nude in the "club." Having been to nudist resorts and of course around our nude "wife swappers," we felt that disrobing almost immediately upon entering the "club" was just the norm. Again, we had expected to not be playing that first visit. That lasted all of about the first thirty minutes when both of us were approached by really nice folks not of the same household. We had agreed that if Mrs Afterwork determined to accompanying a sexual partner then that was the signal for Mr. Afterwork. Imagine the surprise for Mr Afterwork when she was approached first and agreed to go take a "tour" with the male of the couple that welcomed us to the "club." For Mr Afterwork, it was a "gulp" moment as this was strange to see Mrs Afterwork reach down and take hold of this fellow's cock (at flaccid was already appeared to be a bit more than she had experienced with Mr Afterwork or the two other husbands previously experienced.) Note: Mr and Mrs Afterwork were virgins when they married. Mrs Afterwork asked if this fellow intended to use "this" sometime that evening. Guess that was the signal that we were going to not just observe. His cock grew and Mr Afterwork's cock started spring up as well just watching this interaction. Essentially, we both gave out signals. Mr Afterwork was pulled away by a young lady that noticed the interchange telling Mrs Afterwork, you will enjoy (we are leaving his unique name out) XX, we all do. Mrs Afterwork indeed did enjoy him twice that evening. It was just our first "club" experience, and we did become quite close to XX and his wife Sissy. But after the second visit, we still were not really comfortable with the "club" scene. For Mrs Afterwork, it just wasn't as fulfilling as a more intimate setting. The second visit, was a blur. We both just lost it and tried to fuck as many people as we could. Mr Afterwork, bless his heart, as a young man at that time managed to squirt three different times but Mrs Afterwork overdid and engage twice that amount with six different fellows. Both of us were worn out. During one of those six fellows, Mrs Afterwork shared the same fellow with another young lady as a threesome. They were both well fucked by then as the evening had been late. Turned out that Mrs Afterwork and this lady shared a level of intimacy that could only be described later as bisexual. This lady's husband, jus like Mr. Afterwork, was elsewhere in the "club." The two ladies exchanged phone numbers and promised to call so that the husbands could be introduced. Imagine our surprise when that call came the next afternoon (a Sunday) asking if we might entertain a casual visit from them. Rules? We agreed to visit with them and thought this would be just a visit as both of us were not fully recovered. Thank goodness for youthful vigor. Turned out they became extremely close friends (including future business partners). Seems that they were also on their second visit and while they had a good time, they were looking for a more intimate setting. Of course, fucking ensued that Sunday afternoon with the husbands learning first hand that the wives seemed to enjoy each other's cream pies. The two new couples that we seemed to have the most comfort with became part of our very tight and small circle of friends that left the "club" scene supplanting that with our own small (nine or less couples) taking turns hosting at each other's homes. That is the genre we have maintained and it has made us the most comfortable. That is the key word....comfortable. Yes, we had an extremely, highly charged two visits at the "club." But for us and several others we met along the way, the "club" is just to much of a cattle call. But that is just us. We know many folks really enjoy that scene and more power to them. We just wanted to share the perspective that no matter what you do, there will be a few heart skipping moments. The moment that both of you fully engage with another couple; the moment that same sex contact is made and witnessed (it happens even if there is only the incidental unintended contact); the moment that the spouse sees a sex act being performed that they never had with their spouse (Mrs Afterwork enjoys oral for both sexes but oddly does not enjoy it with Mr Afterwork); the moment that spouses see that they are really enjoying a different person; the moment that you see your spouse enjoy a variety of threesomes while you just watch, and many more instances including full or limited forays into bisesuality. But, when you find really good fuck buddies it is comforting and amazing. Then when some of those recreational sexual partners become very good friends (vice versa for vanillas that become recreational partners) it is beyond comforting. Frankly, you can walk around smugly with your friends in front of others knowing that while the rest of the soccer moms and dads go about their drudge, you get to fuck your friends instead of fantasizing if even that. cu As the members here have said, "Take it easy, be certain you are going to be content with knowing that it is JUST RECREATIONAL sex, not love making. We have had some of the hottest sex after we fuck others. The cream pie lube makes both of us excited. But, remember we were taking stupid risks then. Now, we think our close knit group is safe for barebacking. That is a whole other discussion. Enjoy. Keep us posted. Read a lot of the posts on this site, but know what you two want. For us, it was truly exhilarating to hear each other enjoy getting our "swinging virginity" threshold crossed. It was sort of maybe a wee bit exciting to go be sort of a wild child at the "club," but for us the comfort was watching us grow with a tight knit group. Lastly, husbands tend to be the ones that go "what has happened here...." when they discover that their wives really let loose and enjoy. Mr Afterwork was often the suggestive energy to say let's try this, but it was Mrs Afterwork that once involved became enthralled with the circumstances often enjoying more encounters in an evening at a party than Mr Afterwork could even keep up with..poor fellow. Guess what we are saying, is that your husband had better be prepared to see you enjoy yourself. By the way, not every encounter will be fulfilling for either of you (or in sometimes at the same event/party). Law of averages, it all works out over the years. Just remember, NO means no. We have never taken one for the team, but we have had some non-fulfilling experiences. You know you are there and each comfortable when the first thing really close friends do is start undressing you when they walk in the door. We have had to buy a lot of couch covers over the years...LOL. Good luck.

I've done the MFM thing a couple times. It feels so good to just be naked sexual beings with each other and not being concerned about sexuality. I have never had insecurities about it. I am technically straight but I have been bi-curious lately. I've been talking to a really hot male and female couple and they both want to fuck me badly. The condition is that he gets anything she gets. It seriously never aroused me before, but I am thinking I might really enjoy it. I'm thinking I will take them up on it. Just the thought of us writhing on the bed or having sex free of all inhibition is a major turn on for me. That doesn't mean that all MFM encounters have to involve gay/bi sex. My first two MFM encounters were with guys I had no sexual attraction to, the only thing we had in common sexually is that we both had sex with the same girl. The closest it ever came to male on male is that we both penetrated the same hole at the same time, and that was only one of the two MFM encounters I've had. The other one was a girl a buddy of mine and I had picked up at the bar and she couldn't make up her mind which one of us she wanted, so we made it easier for her by having a threesome.

My girlfriend really likes inside her. Even during mfm threesome she prefers myself and the other guy to cum in her.

Absolutely not, no bad questions here on this site, ever! We have fun playing the "are they or aren't they" thing with people you see or meet. But, truth is, no way of knowing for sure unless you ask I've told this story here several times I think, including fairly recently. Short version is - new girlfriend/eventually wife of a vanilla friend. When she first started coming around, she made my swingdar start flashing red big time. She seemed to always figure out a way to work swinging into the conversation at least once every gathering without really seeming pro or con about it and she knew the lingo. Eventually it comes out that a long-time good friend of hers is a swinger and is out about it, and although she's not interested herself, she likes hearing about her friend's escapades. Moral of story, proceed cautiously, what seems to be might not be.

Thanks everyone. You guys have echoed how I'm feeling pretty well. Sometimes you just need to hear things from someone else. It's pretty clear to me that the marriage will go boom and I don't think telling her together will get her attention. He already told her that I see all messages and she still insisted on a secret rendezvous. I was ready to go off then but had him remind her that I see everything. She seemed to not remember that. My friend knows that they have talked but only has seen emoticons because she deletes the rest. I thought about telling him but I don't want to be caught any deeper in the middle of the pending explosion. Think we'll just back out of the friendship and hope for the best for them

So...let me get this straight. She Facebook stalked him and out of the blue, messaged him with a sexual photograph? She cheated on her current husband. She has obviously made it clear to you that she doesn't want to be with her husband. She's the crazed one. I'd steer clear of them. If you need to, tell your rekindled-friendship-with-the-husband that you'll get back in touch with him after he is no longer with his stalker, cheating wife. Oh, and that he deserves better. She clearly isn't remorseful or wanting to change or put her husband as a priority.