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It's (almost) the very definition of 'same room sex'. Two couples having sex in the same room (but usually with the lights on). If I had to make the call, I would say 'yes' it qualifies as swinging. How many other couples do you think have had this type of experience? It sounds like it was very hot...

I used to umpire adult softball. When the games were over for the evening we would meet at a lounge with karaoke and talk about the evening. Once in a while the other umps wives would meet us there. This one time everyone was drinking hard ( I don't) The karaoke was good that night and I started dancing with several of the wives. Later most had left except several umps and one wife. Lots of slow dancing and the night was over. Neither was in good enough shape to drive so I drove them home. I helped her get him in the house and up the stairs to bed. She said she wanted me to fuck her right then. I said no and left. A couple weeks later he and I where at the same complex but different fields. he told me his wife was pissed at me. I couldn't tell him why so I just stood quietly. When our games were over he told me she was pissed cause I wouldn't fuck her, Shock went over my face. He said don't worry about it I am fine with it just fuck her so I can have some peace! So that night after the bar talks (no Karaoke)we went back to their place. The three of us had fun all night long. He and I became fishing buddies. She and I became dancing partners. He was in the navy so when he was out at sea I would take care of her and their place. Things were great till he got transferred to San Diego. I haven't found another couple that I felt as close to. I have been with many couples but none so close.

Here's a scenario that bugs me. We meet a couple. Husband likes my wife (as per usual), the other wife has no interest in me. But I know, from personal knowledge, having seen it or from a cert, that the other wife has played with a friend or acquaintance who I think is objectively less attractive than me. Just bugs me. My wife says attraction is hard to explain

This is the key. It's much better to let someone find their own way to somewhere with you walking along beside them than it is to be behind them pushing them along. Pushing someone into something never works out well over the long run. Yes, the short term objective may be met, but in doing so, you've usually made it a one time time deal at best and caused plenty of resentment too. Just keep doing what you are doing - talking, having fun with whatever baby steps she is comfortable taking, and then just see what happens.

Mine was a M/F I was working with a lady in the company I worked for. We had been to see clients all day. While working she asked if I wanted to have dinner with her and her husband, and soak in their hot tub. Being on the road with nothing but café food of course the meal was welcomed. I told her I didn't have a swim suit though. They don't allow suits in the hot tub. I am a naturist so it didn't bother me. So we had a nice dinner and chatted for a bit then went out to the tub. It started snowing hard so they offered me the couch. Next thing you know her husband asks me if I would like to fuck her. I just stared dumb founded. He said it was ok they were in the lifestyle. From then on when I was in the area they would take me to some of the parties and introduced me to other couples they knew.

So i got a spot the swinger story!! Often when we travel we will be at the bar at the hotel. There we certainly feel we have run into swinger couples, getting a little too drunk and flirty with each other at the hotel bar. Especially as I am often staying in more 'business' hotels that are close to deserted on a weekend, it can be a bit funnily indiscreet. This Saturday I noticed a threesome checking into a hotel room with nothing but liquor in the hands and giggly smiles.

I've come to he right place for advice. Very encouraging replies so far. Thanks. I have considered the fact that I'm just not the swinger type. Don't buy it. From what I've seen, there is no "type". I also agree that I'm suffering from obsolete programming. Most of us are not brought up to pull our penises out in front of people we just met. In most circles that would be a bit rude. Conversely, in the right swinging situation it would be polite. Go figure. But, yes, I do believe that I need to reprogram myself a bit. That's what I need a little help with. Good points about degree of familiarity/comfort with partners. Normally, we meet people online (SLS/Fab). Exchange emails to eatablish attraction and compatibility, meet for drink a time or two, then set up play situation. It has at times seemed a little rushed. And, even though playmates have always been courteous, I have felt pressured on a few occasions, like play is just expected. Hard to have an organic and fluid experience when those types of expectations are there. I guess another clue to all this may be our most successful experience to date. We were naked in a hot tub full of swingers but really didn't get in there to play, just people watch and talk. There were various sexual acts happening but I really wasn't that turned on watching. Amused but not turned on. We ended up in conversation with a much younger Barbie/Ken couple- not really our type (never met or seen them before this). Surprisingly, we had a ton in common and had a great time just talking in a purely platonic way. Out of the blue, the other wife asked if she could play with my wife's tits (they are spectacular by the way). Why not. So here is this beautiful show going on inches in front of me. 10 minutes later we're in a cabana in a oral swap and finished with our own partners. Now, I was never really all in like I am when wife and I have sex but it was pretty good. The point of the story is that it was an organic experience. Just happened naturally without expectations. Maybe a few more of those experiences would help in my reprogramming. The problem is that we would have preferred to know a little more about the couple before that happened. So, how could I keep things organic and spontaneous without fucking strangers?

I've been in quite a few MFM situations, and it's never been an issue. Women last a long time if you warm them up right, so sometimes it takes more than one guy to get the job done!

Yes, we have met a few very nice single and married hi men. We go with the Life on the Swingset podcast group to Desire resort. Bi men are welcome there. You should check out the trip.

Even GOING to a club is more than 99% of the people ever do. Just because you didn't talk to some other couples (although IMHO what you did do was much better than talking)...there will always be other couples, and you very likely will run across them again in the future. Dwell on the positive and learn from everything else. I would say that next time things will be better, but it sounds like they were pretty okay already. Let us know when you go the next time.