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No, it does not happen to me a lot. This is really the first time I have had it happen. I understand completely it is irrational and remind myself every time I see him why we are in this LS. I don't believe I feel the other girls are more pretty. I just really enjoy being with him. I think he reminds me the most of my husband,as far as play partners go-- height, coloring, size, technique...but yet, he is not my husband. (now there is some twisted psychological stuff, huh?) I think of him probably daily but then we text nearly every day. Not ALL day but a quick check in every day. Sometimes with sexy pics, sometimes just hi. Once in a while, I wonder if he is texting the same thing to several women (same pics, same lines)....or if he just texting me. No, he is not single. He has been married for 25 years. His wife is a favorite of my hubby's. No, I do not think a poly situation would be possible nor warranted. I'm not really sure what it is about this man that makes me jealous. As I said, I do realize it is irrational. I understand the nature of swinging and why we do what we do. I'm just at the point in our relationship (this is fairly new) that I want to still be kind of "special" to him and when I know he has been out on a date with another or has hooked up with someone at a party I was not at, I feel a pang of jealousy that it was not me. I am sure this is just the "puppy love" stage of lust and I will get over it soon enough. Hubby says I just need to go fuck more men. LOL He's probably right.

My wife and I enjoy an open marriage. But I am not so proud as to believe that nothing can go wrong. What are the foundational elements that insulate a marriage from harm while it remains open?

Condoms are a problem for me. I have a thicker than average cock, though average length. Over the years, I've tried various condoms but found out that thinner condoms tended to break. Yes, I was careful, yet even so they broke. This being bad of course, I ended up settling on thicker condoms to prevent this. Will I use them? Sure. But, I dislike them, and it most definitely affects feeling. So, I prefer bareback, but I've only barebacked with my wife (well, since we got married ). My wife prefers no condoms, and prefers a man cumming inside of her. She has a long term (years) play partner with whom she goes bareback. With new partners, it's always been condoms. She is, far more than any other woman I've ever been with, much more turned on by a naked cock than one with a condom. For basically any other woman I've been with, it hasn't really mattered to them from a feeling standpoint. For my wife though, it's far more erotic and sexually satisfying for her to go bareback. To the STD issue and statistics; sure it would stand to reason that swingers would have more STDs. But, without real studies we don't know. There's supposition both ways. Of course, bacteria and viruses don't care about supposition or statistics. Yes, there are risks, and any responsible adult needs to take that into account. A fun related note; I've recently had a health issue that could have potentially been caused by an STD, though a somewhat low chance. Other possibilities weren't providing an answer, and the doctor was puzzled. So, I asked for an STD test, checking off a number of STDs for which I wanted to be checked. My doctor knows I've been married for quite a long while now, so he was perplexed. I could see him begin to form the question on his lips, but he never brought himself to ask. It was hard not to smile Everything came back clean thankfully.

Mine was a M/F I was working with a lady in the company I worked for. We had been to see clients all day. While working she asked if I wanted to have dinner with her and her husband, and soak in their hot tub. Being on the road with nothing but café food of course the meal was welcomed. I told her I didn't have a swim suit though. They don't allow suits in the hot tub. I am a naturist so it didn't bother me. So we had a nice dinner and chatted for a bit then went out to the tub. It started snowing hard so they offered me the couch. Next thing you know her husband asks me if I would like to fuck her. I just stared dumb founded. He said it was ok they were in the lifestyle. From then on when I was in the area they would take me to some of the parties and introduced me to other couples they knew.

With all respect, I have to disagree with this estimation. I'm from Indiana. If your figure is correct, that means that throughout all of Indiana, there are 246 married people who are swingers. I've seen more than half that number on one night at a swingers club. Searching SLS, I rapidly exceed that number in a local search, not even covering the entire state...and that's just sls and those that have been there in the last month. It's very hard to put a figure on it, but swinging is a multimillion dollar business nationwide, with conventions sometimes attracting near a thousand couples. I'd say a more realistic figure is in the .1% to 1% range. That's a guess too, but such a range would certainly allow for the numbers I see on SLS and at swingers clubs.

I see your point, and if it's just a one time thing, then I would agree, you can easily make it part of sex just like the taking clothes off can be made part of sex in a way that adds to, not takes away from, the whole experience. At least for me, it's kind of a one time deal though...yes, the first time she slides her panties down is really sexy, but in an extended play session where you are moving from one thing to another and back again, then putting her panties back on at each transition and then sliding them down again doesn't work the same as it did the first time. That's very true in that you need to base your risk assessment on the tree level, not the forest level. Along those same lines though, not all trees are the same and I would say there are lots of swingers, us included, who don't have 10 different partners in a year. If one's swinging style is more of the exclusive small group or couple variety, where most of your experiences are with the same people, then that changes things a bit and puts it back more in the middle between totally monogamous and frequent swinger with different partners each time. One only has to look at the infidelity rate too to see that a fair number of those "monogamous" 40-50 year olds probably have more notches on their bedpost than many swingers do. We're all saying the same thing though...evaluate things as honestly as possible taking all factors into account and make an informed decision on what's right for you.

Find a cute fluffy adorable kitten. Now put on a glove to pet it.

Welcome to the forums. Awesome people here to give awesome advice. How long have y'all been married? Have either of you ever had a threesome, or you play with another girl? Those are potential icebreakers on the subject of swinging. Only you know your husband and his attitude about sex, right, wrong, and morals. I'm not implying that swinging is immoral, just that some people believe it to be. I guess a better way to put it is his openness to live and let live. Nurse first discussed a threesome she had in a previous relationship many years ago. That planted the seed and she let it soak in for a few weeks, then she brought it up again and finally mentioned the lifestyle. Believe me, I was thinking woah, where is this going? But I was also very intrigued and tried not to show my excitement. It was the best thing to ever happen for us besides finding each other. You know your hubby better than anyone. You probably already know how to broach the subject, but you're uncertain of his response. As everyone else said, you'll probably be surprised at how he responds - meaning pleasantly surprised. I wish you luck and look forward to seeing you both posting here. Happy journey! ~Captain