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Depends on context: She is a cunt -- extremely offensive and entirely out of order. Locker room joke -- offensive. Description of a coworker who has pissed you off -- very offensive and just wrong. While in the midst of the sex act, "bang my cunt; give it to me harder" -- entirely within context.

So I had a interesting chat with my daughter last night. She's been having trouble dealing with this narcissistic female friend of her boyfriend's, whom she has tried to befriend herself, but who insists on doing everything in her power to drive the poor girl insane. For the record, my daughter is vanilla, and has a bit of a problem with jealousy, so it's really hard for me to not advise her to just let the boy fuck her, get bored with her mud-puddle-deep personality, and brush her off. Get it out of his system, you know? Life is too short for this kind of stressful bullshit. Anyway, long story short, I'm trying to help her deal with this self-focused, poisonous little biatch, and went on to relate a story about my friend. "I could tell you this story," I said, "but...it's...really...like...TMI. So much TMI. Like you won't be able to look at (my friend) ever the same again." "You don't even talk to her anymore, Mom." "I know, but it's really....REAL." "It's okay, Mom," she assured me, "I've seen your and Dad's search history." -- Silence -- I gave her a questioning look, to elaborate. Because I'm sure as hell not going to be the one to flop that one out there on the table. Nope. She wants the truth, she can damn well ask for it. "Swinging?" she said, "AFF?" I laughed, actually not missing a beat. "Yeah. Well. There you go." "So did you and, uh...(friend) ever, uh..." "Oh GOD no." I exclaimed. "No no no no no. There are some rules..." "Oh so there ARE some rules then?..." "Oh yes, there are rules." I said, "One of them is that you don't fuck your close friends." I proceeded to tell her about the nightmare threesome experience my friend and her husband had with a vampiric, soul-sucking bitch who got off on shattering marriages. The point was to outline how destructive narcissists can be, and how relentlessly devious and cunning they are. So after regaling her with that gem, she sat back digesting it, and then said, "So can I ask you a question?" "Sure!" I said. I'm thinking 'This is FANTASTIC!' "I mean, only if you want to! Your business is your business, if you're uncomfortable with it..." "No, I don't mind at all. This is fun, actually!" "Okay." she said. "So, how do you guys do it? Like, how does it work?" She meant, as in, how do we have such a great relationship while fucking other people? "It works really, really well, actually." "Oh." She seemed surprised and hopefully more at ease because of my frankness and comfort with talking openly about it. "It obviously doesn't work for everyone," I said, "But for us, it's been great. You have to be able to trust one another enough to do it. And it's more about wanting to be able to give one another more out of life." That part isn't verbatim, but something to that effect. She wondered aloud whether it might be something that her boyfriend needed. I didn't agree. I switched gears a little, and explained that this is why it's been hard to advise her before, regarding her jealous streak; my first inclination would be to tell him to go do what he's gotta do. Shrug my shoulders and let the little vampire do her worst, because in the end, she still can't touch what really matters between us. My daughter said she didn't think she could do that. I said, then, that she should not. I just know that, for her Dad and I it has more or less bomb-proofed our relationship. "Some other woman can be sitting on your Dad's knee, feeding him grapes, and it wouldn't bother me in the least." She was amused at the idea of it. "I don't give a damn, she can do whatever she wants, but if she's going to be disrespectful of me, that has nothing to do with me. I leave that up to your Dad to deal with." "Like that woman at the restaurant that time?" she asked. I had apparently been too flirty with a woman's husband after imbibing too much wine (100% unintentional), and she decided to get back at me by sitting beside my husband while I was in the ladies room, putting her hand on his leg and giving him the come-fuck-me eyes. When I returned, and saw that my spot had been taken, he looked her dead in the eye and said to me, "Here, Hon, you take my spot." Yeah. My man. She got shut DOWN. Hard. "Yeah, just like that." I said, "I just laugh about it. She can try to weasel in if she wants, and I'm just like, 'Hold on! I'll get the camera!'" She thought it was funny, and I think she was even more pleased at my willingness to talk about it. It has been a big fat-ass elephant in the room for too long. They knew. Of course they knew. But neither half of the parent-child equation knew how much the other wanted to know or reveal. I'm so glad she had the balls to bring it up. She has frequently complimented her Dad and I on our relationship in the past, and I'm sure this was a mystery to her, as she explained she suspected it for a very long time now, since they were kids. Believe me, were NOT indiscreet, we just have exceptionally observant offspring. She explained she had seen me browsing the Swingersboard, and had thought I was looking up swingsets. But she noticed some of the stuff on it was about sex. She had asked why I was on that site, and I told her because I enjoyed discussing the topic with other people. It was fascinating. She wanted to know what it was, and not wanting to lie, I believe I gave her the 10-year-old's version of the truth, which was something along the lines of 'married people who don't believe in monogamous relationships.' I DID lie when she asked if her Dad and I did that, and I told her no. I enjoyed the conversation. We never discussed it again until last night. "So are those your friends from Ottawa?" she asked. "Yes." I said, "We really like them. They're really very nice people." "Huh. That's cool." she said, "Yeah we kinda wondered about that. You know, you guys just randomly going to Ottawa to visit friends or go to a party." Because she knows that's not really 'us'. We've been social hermits for-frigging-ever. "So does your brother know, too--" "--Yeah." she said, "Oh yeah, he knows." Smart little farts. I have to say, I am actually super stoked about this. I have hated having to hide anything about ourselves from our kids. We don't get into the hairy details of what we do in the bedroom - and I have no intention of starting now - but I don't want to pretend like we don't have a sex life. And I don't want to pretend that this is not a part of who and what we are. Because it is, and it's something we both love. It's not dirty. It's not deviant. It's not harmful to our relationship, to anyone else's, or to society. It has been a very positive experience and a deeply beneficial relationship philosophy. I'm hoping we can now be more open with our kids, without having to come up with stupid cover stories that - deep down - we knew they didn't believe anyway.

Run. Fast. Don't even look back.

Stop, stop... Stop!!! This guy is trying his luck and is attempting to manipulate your wife. If it was my wife she would of told him long ago where to go.. He's a liar and probably thinks your wife is in a crap relationship and he can lure her away. Swinging sites are full of these 'white knight' types, we always laugh and block them. As soon as any guy mentions meeting seperatly its an instant block and not just from me, if my wife sees the message before me its her that does the honours. When selecting a single guy our rule is - its not my wife they need to impress... Its me, because I can veto anyone at anytime (same rule applies to her, she can veto anyone from me).

Ms. Gold has been on the fence about laser. Let us know how things progress.

Please take the advise from everyone. This is a common mistake for couples early on. Someone shows interest and it gets pursued with red flags being ignored. This won't turn out the way you hope.

Agreed with the others. Just tell those that ask that each party has a unique group and you do your best to find the right chemistry...when you feel there is a group that those who are asking will like, then they will get an invite. Make it more of a "it's not you" response.

It's a hard lesson but one I'm familiar with. A long time ago when we started out swinging, we got together with a male acquaintance. Condom was the rule, but it slipped off and couldn't be used again. As there was only one condom (another mistake that never happened again), the guy said he would pull out if we let him go at it without condom. Well, he didn't pull out. Fortunately we're all clean and I was on the pill. With that said, I've never had anything like this happened with anyone in the swinging community, be they couples or single males. I really believe that swingers practice better safe sex, and respect play partners more, than non-swingers. So I hope this unfortunate incident won't stop you from trying to swing again. Meet someone through the swinger sites or in-person meet and greet, get to know them, and keep the alcohol to one or two drinks.

My husband is similar in the sense that he's not attracted to another male but he enjoys bisexual acts during sex. We have played with plenty of straight people and we respect their preferences. He has never grabbed any part of another male knowing that he plays straight. I can't speak for others, but it's not an uncontrollable urge. Just like other fetishes, it's simply a matter of not doing it if the other partners are not into it.

Another vote to run as fast as you can away from him. He's a creep.

I have one friend (a girl) who uses the word cunt during sex. It is really dirty and hot. Since I know she's good with it, I will say it when I'm with her. Otherwise, I don't b/c I'm aware that many people find it super offensive. It's hot in the right circumstances.

Ok, show of hands of straight guys who tried the squeezing your thumb thing as you were reading I was like "what??" and then tried it while imagining I was about to gag, not from a cock but just in general, and at least in my imagination, it did seem to help. Add in some excitement from being turned on and in the moment and not sitting in a quiet room in front of computer just imagining, and I could see that could help. Not to go too much off topic, but I wonder if the same thing would work with anal at the point of initial penetration which can be a little tense?

I agree, it's all about the context. For me, even during sex, I think it has to be the right circumstance, meaning over and above normal turned on and the sex is hot and hard. Like all words that are powerful, they have their place, but the more powerful they are, the fewer those places are.

I'm a bi guy, play with other couples with straight men all the time. Not a big deal. I have had my ass grabbed expectantly by a man I thought was straight. However, I have never grabbed or touched another guy when he told me he was straight. Hope that helps!! Good Luck and have fun!

Move on. Yes he is a manipulator. He's already lied to you once, is attempting to separate you from your wife. He is also attempting to have unprotected sex with your wife. We have experiences like this as well with people on the internet, men and women. Move On, Move On, Move On. I would highly recommend you go no contact and have nothing more to do with him. Yes we have had similar experiences, swinging is about trust. If that trust gets violated initially it only gets worse. Same is true in life actually, but it get ramped up a bit in the swing scene where everything is 'blind'. It's odd but some people without any conscience or a second thought can will attempt to manipulate the world around them for their only needs wants and desires, regardless of others. I would say you havve found one of those tyoes. Good luck and have fun

Block him. He started out lying, now trying to get her top been all your rules. He's not worth it or he would have been honest from the start.

Wife and I had been with other couples before, but she had not been to an adult theater. Of course, I had been there many times as a crossdresser, but alone until one night. We had decided to go to he adult theater with me dressed (crossdresser and her dressed with shirt black skirt, 5" black heels, see thru top without a bra and black lace panties. Perhaps I should mention she loves crossdressers and she makes and she is bi. We went to an adult theater that has several rooms with several types of movies. We went to the shemale room. Only one guy was already in there. She sat on one couch and I sat next to the guy. He started touching my silky, pantyhose clad leg right away. Then he was feeling my panties and they were getting wet from my tucked cock and pre cum. He got between my legs and was licking my panties then started to pull down my pantyhose and panties. I leaned back, let him peel the hose and panties off me and a smooth, but very hard cock was now out and ready. I looked over at my wife and she had pulled her skirt up, panties were off and her top was exposing her breasts and her fingers were working on her pussy as the guy was taking my shemale cock completely in his mouth. She was coming by watching and her Masterbation play. It was only a matter of time before my come would fill th guys mouth but it was soon where another guy came in the room to see what was going on. Here was a sexy shemale getting sucked off and a woman naked and fingering herself watching. I knew my wife was too far gone to care who touched, fingered or fucked her now dripping pussy. The man that entered was about 35, decent build and black. He was rubbing my wife's breasts as he unleashed his throbbing cock. And it was a large cock indeed. I was being swallowed by the guy and had cum 2 times in his mouth as the strange black man opened my wife legs and without hesitation, shoved his enormous cock into her was had to be drenched pussy. She went into instant orgasms and and he fucked her she must have cum 12 times. I came 2x in the guy's mouth then took a turn on his cock myself since the wife was busy. Not sure which got her off the most, watching Tiffany or the big black cock inside her, but we both had plenty of cum and cock that night in the adult theater.

My wife brought it up. We were drinking and having hot sex and she told me about her fantasy to watch another woman suck my cock and then for her to join in. Since that night it progressed from bedroom talk to sober talk and now we have decided to go to clubs on our vacation this summer. The talk has made our sex lives so hot, we can't wait for the real thing!

My ex and I played in threesomes with guys we knew to be Bi. I told them I was straight before we started, I never had any problems. If you're uncomfortable with just knowing the guy is Bi and don't want to play with him, that's fine, your preference. But if you're afraid he'll come on to you, and that's the only reason you're rejecting him, I'd say go ahead and schedule a date.

Well to be honest we originally started looking for a threesome with another woman , and after reading about how hard it was to find one and trying for a while I told her it looked like it was almost impossible so we started looking into swinging with couples instead. we were both scared and this was not her normal mentality about sex , i think it actually helped her , it did help the frequency of sex between us. I cannot tell you how proud i am that she was willing to try this and we are already making plans for our next kid free weekend.

You should be still!!!

I love you guys! I was prepared to be torn to shreds! We do not invite the same group to each party and are always looking for new people to invite. We just don't want to invite people that we know others won't want to play with. I really don't like to hurt people's feelings. Thanks!!

You could invite 1 new couple per party. If they don't fit in, they don't get invited back. When I hosted parties, this seemed to work well. You never know how/if people will hit it off.

The correct answer here is whatever number you two decide upon...however more than three in one night (for the guy at least) is impressive

We've had a condom break or come off inside a few times, and in those cases, it was just the opposite, the guys felt really bad and were beating themselves up since they felt like keeping track of the how the condom was doing was their responsibility and they had failed. Mrs. cplnuswing didn't get too worked up about it...it happens. You'd prefer it didn't, but sooner or later, it will. I've never thought it a good idea to try to make swingers out of non-swingers. Swingers know the score, and it's a shared experience and along with that comes sharing responsibility. A young guy you pick up in a bar...to put it bluntly, he just wants some pussy, and that me-me-me attitude is likely to manifest itself in a lot of different ways, one of which you had the misfortune of experiencing for yourselves. It happened, no changing it now, so get checked to make sure everything ok, and then just use it as a learning experience and leave it behind you.

Thank-you so much for your kind words of understanding. I want HIM to be happy too and all of the issues he began experiencing was taking its toll on him. This isn’t about me being a hoochie and having an affair. It really is about us and making our remaining years together the best they can be for BOTH of us. I’m lucky, that at 49 I still get mistaken for an early 30’s gal but, at my age, who knows how long that will last. Your wife might feel a bit embarrassed at 63 embarking down this road, I know I was but, it has made a difference for us as a couple. There are plenty of men out there who will find her intriguing and attractive. Our culture tends to make more mature women de-sexualized. It is a crying shame really, because so many of us buy into it and it changes the way we feel about ourselves even though we know we are very loved by our spouses. We carry ourselves differently, change the way we dress (even if it is still flattering on us) and stop seeing ourselves as sexual beings. No matter how often our spouse tries to tell us otherwise, deep down we just can’t really believe it. Maybe it took another man, a younger man (who was subsequently shocked at my age), to give me the permission to let all of the societal BS go and just act how I feel on the inside; with all the passion, zest for life and sexual satisfaction I craved. It reminded me “I ain’t dead yet” (excuse the Monty Python reference). In turn, I brought that attitude home to my husband where he taking it in himself and living vicariously through it. Tell your wife about our story and let her think on it for a while.

Dear PSUL, Welcome. You have come to good place for information and for reflection. You are wrestling with two issues. First, you expanded your sexual horizons beyond monogamy and, against what you were taught was "right" or "proper" , you found you liked it. It sounds as if you and the others had a good time and no one was hurt. Candidly, this is what is meant by consensual activity among adults. There's nothing to feel guilty about. Whether you want to sustain this sort of activity with your new friends, that's up to you. In the lifestyle, "no means no". More to the point, "yes means yes". It needs to be an affirmative decision on everyone's part. Otherwise, chalk it up to experience. The second issue has to do with the guy you are dating. If it's a casual relationship, you are under no obligation to tell him about your entire life. If it's more than a casual relationship and in fact if you see your guy as a potential long term relationship (as in, you might want to get married), learning how to communicate about sensitive issues is part of what makes successful marriages last. The quest for variety in sex does not stop with exchange of rings and spoken vows. Lifestyle couples have simply found that being open and honest about it is far preferable to deception and cheating. One way to gauge his perspective is to start a conversation about each other's sexual fantasies. That provides a basis for talking about realizing those fantasies and then setting boundaries that work for you as a couple. What's important is that you move forward together at a pace that fits the slowest partner. The labels might or might not matter, but yes you have just dipped a toe into the Lifestyle. It is swinging. What you are trying to do is prevent it from becoming cheating. That reflects honesty and honor, attributes that are key to just about every successful relationship. Good luck.