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Like everyone else, I echo their caution. But as I've gotten older, my views have mellowed a bit and I'm not quite as cut and dried about it. Why can't we have good friends with benefits? I think it's the ultimate solution, really. The trick is to find the right kind of friends, and to leave room for growth. It sounds like you've had some fun already, which is great. I'd suggest that you treat every new encounter as a one-off, realizing that anyone can change their mind about how okay they are with it at any time. As cplnuswing said, leave room for a graceful exit. Sex makes people behave funny; it's a very intimate part of their lives and their relationship together. Swinging often brings about enormous growth in the relationship and in one's own understanding of one's self. Because of this, their interest in swinging will change over time, and you may or may not be a part of it. If you choose to go forward with playing with them, just recognize this and make allowances for it. I'd also suggest not being too coy with them. If they seem a little embarrassed about your alcohol-fueled party games, I'd try to get a conversation going about it, letting them know that you had a great time, and that you don't regret it at all. If you can find a way to get a dialogue going with them, you can maybe give them the opportunity to freely ask questions and talk about the way you two look at things (especially how you view playing with friends), and you can ask them - as Alura suggested - what they think about it all. Because you're curious. If the question comes up, does everyone want to play, yes or no?, then maybe gentle things a little by saying you're interested in seeing where things go, but that you really value your friendship with them, so they need to be straight with you if they ever feel uncomfortable at any time.

I'm one of the people who usually strongly recommend against trying to make swingers out of friends. I stick by that by still saying proceed with extreme caution if you decide to go forward. But, there are several things going on here that are different than the usual scenario. One, the topic has at least come up some and no big red flags here. Two, you went with them to Desire and that went ok. Three, by many people's definition, you have already had a swinging experience with them - alcohol induced or not, it happened, and no apparent repercussions so it's reasonable to wonder what else may be possible there. I think your last sentence is the key - I can't think of much or anything really in swinging that is better when you rush into it, so just keep going along and see where it leads. Also, I'd try to leave room for a graceful retreat on both sides should you take a step too far, that way a "no thanks" doesn't have to mean feelings of awkwardness and potentially the end of the friendship.

There is some risk to a friendship when swinging is introduced. You must weigh that risk for every couple with whom you consider swinging, friends or strangers. My late wife and I didn't swing with strangers. The less you know someone, the more likely a problem will surface. One problem we didn't want to surface was a Sexually Transmitted Disease. While swapping with friends does not totally remove that possibility, it does give a couple the opportunity to access the risk. We chose our play couples based on their exposure. If their marriage was strong and their communication developed, we communicated with them and assessed the likelihood of their being offended by learning that we played. If there was a possible problem, we didn't ask. It's not likely y'all will find a couple who have never slept with anyone else. We did, once in our twenty-seven year marriage. (30 years together.) My advice is to get to know the other couple well. Learn how they think. Consider the possible pitfalls before asking. When you ask, don't invite. Learn about how they think. Laura's favorite way to open the conversation was to ask, "How do y'all feel about swinging?" That question does not ask for a decision, but an opinion. Learn, learn, learn. I wish y'all the best of luck! Alura

NORMALLY, the recommendation is to stay away from trying to make friends into swingers. There's too much of a chance that they aren't ready, can't handle, or will just be shocked at the suggestion and let the neighborhood know what you two do with your spare time. Usually it is much better, easier, and safer to make friends of swingers instead of swingers from friends...but in your case it sounds like they might already be on that path to becoming swingers. Don't make this so hard. Next time you all get together (or maybe just the women), talk to her/them about what has happened. How did they feel about the trip to Desire and/or giving her husband oral in front of them? Ask them if they have done more (or anything) with anyone else? They might just be afraid of bringing it up, especially since they know that you two have 'more experience' than they do (you've started and they really haven't done anything other than express interest) and are hoping you will say something. Ask them and see what their feelings are... At the same time, remember that there will always the risk that word may get out among your friends and neighbors, especially if their relationship has problems in the future. It doesn't sound like that much of a risk here, but be aware that there's still a risk. Let us know how things go for all of you.

We love Pussy, pet it, groom it, lick it!

Her and I have talked about her wanting to bring some desire to her and her husband's bedroom. She said she wouldn't mind seeing him with someone else and he has flat out said he would swing so I know they are open to it. I'm just not sure if they are with us. Heck, they may be thinking the same thing. We did play a game that got kinda wild one time. She blew her husband in front of us and her and I kissed but that is as far as it went and we were all drinking pretty heavily. I guess I worry about it being so close to home. My husband is a DR and we need to be very careful. Then again this couple is in the same boat with needing to keep things private. I guess we just need to play some more games and see where things go maybe.

It worked for us with a former colleague of Mrs Doc. She came to visit us in Fla, they talked about all kinds of things while floating in the pool while I was working, including our hobby, and Trapeze. On the 3rd day, I got a call from my wife reporting that they were naked in the pool and I should get home asap. We had a great afternoon and evening which included the friend sending pictures of the 3 of us together to her boyfriend with the invitation to, as she put it, "get your ass down here". He did, we all played, we took them to Trapeze and introduced them to the club. We got together several times after that week here or in Pa. Eventually, their relationship failed (not related to swinging) but she continues to visit and is likely coming again after Memorial Day. We were very fortunate with this friend but by and large, we'd urge caution in trying to "turn" friends. On the other hand, you said you took this couple to Desire. The genie is out of the bottle, I see no harm in asking if they're interested in exploring further.

Depends on context: She is a cunt -- extremely offensive and entirely out of order. Locker room joke -- offensive. Description of a coworker who has pissed you off -- very offensive and just wrong. While in the midst of the sex act, "bang my cunt; give it to me harder" -- entirely within context.

We have been communicating a lot about our wants and desires. This site has helped us open up more to each other about our feelings and what we expect from the lifestyle. We are very eager to take the next step at our pace, together.

It's not the sex, but I agree it's how you treat one another. There needs to be communication, respect and deference not only in how a couple handle their sex life, but in everything really.

All the bi guys we know are respectful in that if your straight - they don't come on to you. Having said that, there has been a few DP's we had a "oops" moment where some dick has touched the other one while lining up the girl lol It's not a worry in our book even though I'm straight.

So finally you get the point from all those posts from a while ago lol Sex with no guilt is great - I hope you two have a great time of swinging now and to answer your question now - YES this is swinging. PSU you should write all this down and make a book of it one day. But of course without pics it never happened lol.

C here. If that were true, he would have been completely open from the start of the conversation. In this case, I don't think the 'creep' was completely forthright....

I went for my 2nd treatment today, the treatments are 6 weeks apart and I will go about for a total of 6. I won't lie but it does hurt a little bit, it is kind of like a pinch. I am getting Laser done on armpits, legs and entire bikini area. I can already tell a difference, I shave every 3-4 weeks (unless we are going out, lol) instead of every other day. I will definitely keep you up to date :-)

Stop, stop... Stop!!! This guy is trying his luck and is attempting to manipulate your wife. If it was my wife she would of told him long ago where to go.. He's a liar and probably thinks your wife is in a crap relationship and he can lure her away. Swinging sites are full of these 'white knight' types, we always laugh and block them. As soon as any guy mentions meeting seperatly its an instant block and not just from me, if my wife sees the message before me its her that does the honours. When selecting a single guy our rule is - its not my wife they need to impress... Its me, because I can veto anyone at anytime (same rule applies to her, she can veto anyone from me).

It's a hard lesson but one I'm familiar with. A long time ago when we started out swinging, we got together with a male acquaintance. Condom was the rule, but it slipped off and couldn't be used again. As there was only one condom (another mistake that never happened again), the guy said he would pull out if we let him go at it without condom. Well, he didn't pull out. Fortunately we're all clean and I was on the pill. With that said, I've never had anything like this happened with anyone in the swinging community, be they couples or single males. I really believe that swingers practice better safe sex, and respect play partners more, than non-swingers. So I hope this unfortunate incident won't stop you from trying to swing again. Meet someone through the swinger sites or in-person meet and greet, get to know them, and keep the alcohol to one or two drinks.

My husband is similar in the sense that he's not attracted to another male but he enjoys bisexual acts during sex. We have played with plenty of straight people and we respect their preferences. He has never grabbed any part of another male knowing that he plays straight. I can't speak for others, but it's not an uncontrollable urge. Just like other fetishes, it's simply a matter of not doing it if the other partners are not into it.

That's want my wife says. She said we both had other partners in the past. Sex is just sex. It's not love. She says she loves me and that is all that matters. If we do full swap it's just for fun and pleasure and it doesn't mean anything else. She is fine either way with soft or full and she wants me to be comfortable and relax and enjoy ourselves.

I have one friend (a girl) who uses the word cunt during sex. It is really dirty and hot. Since I know she's good with it, I will say it when I'm with her. Otherwise, I don't b/c I'm aware that many people find it super offensive. It's hot in the right circumstances.

I agree, it's all about the context. For me, even during sex, I think it has to be the right circumstance, meaning over and above normal turned on and the sex is hot and hard. Like all words that are powerful, they have their place, but the more powerful they are, the fewer those places are.

I'm a bi guy, play with other couples with straight men all the time. Not a big deal. I have had my ass grabbed expectantly by a man I thought was straight. However, I have never grabbed or touched another guy when he told me he was straight. Hope that helps!! Good Luck and have fun!

From another thread on gangbangs: Hi, this is Petra just bitching and making unreasonable demands on life. Were not looking for gangbangs, but this might be the right direction for us. We like the intimacy and safety of a closed group, and the ability to go bareback. It was fun when Walter played with us before Lora professed her undying love for hubby, divorced Walter and joined our family. It seems odd to me, now that I have two children and think I'm done reproducing, that my sex drive and desire to have sex with other men is higher than ever. (More children in our family would be ok, both Lora and Clair want one more.) In any event, Lora and Clair have the same increased desire for more sex with men. The problem with other couples is that another woman is included and that would place demands on the male resources we already have. What we girls would like is a guy or two or three that we could meet at lunch, on the way home, or for a quick weekend diversion. What are the chances that there are married women or committed couples out there that would be interested in some good-looking early 30s women to satisfy their man? We could be the third to a couple, since we're bi, but that involves more alignment of chemistry. Who knows? Writing this makes me have to find one of the guys I already have.

Apparently it's a (vile, disgusting) thing: "Stealthing" Inside The Online Community Of Men Who Preach Removing Condoms Without Consent | The Huffington Post

We've had a condom break or come off inside a few times, and in those cases, it was just the opposite, the guys felt really bad and were beating themselves up since they felt like keeping track of the how the condom was doing was their responsibility and they had failed. Mrs. cplnuswing didn't get too worked up about it...it happens. You'd prefer it didn't, but sooner or later, it will. I've never thought it a good idea to try to make swingers out of non-swingers. Swingers know the score, and it's a shared experience and along with that comes sharing responsibility. A young guy you pick up in a bar...to put it bluntly, he just wants some pussy, and that me-me-me attitude is likely to manifest itself in a lot of different ways, one of which you had the misfortune of experiencing for yourselves. It happened, no changing it now, so get checked to make sure everything ok, and then just use it as a learning experience and leave it behind you.

The man had no respect for your marriage, your limitations and sadly, he had no respect for you as a man. He was clearly not experienced with 3-somes and it sounds like he figured that if you were OK with him fucking your wife that he was the alpha not you, and he had no clue that he was the recipient of a gift from you and your wife. We seldom play with single males and would be VERY leery of playing with a male in that age bracket. We have had experiences at swingers clubs where the guy obviously didn't "get it" and because of that, he really didn't get it. Chalk it up to experience, a bad one, and I'd strongly suggest you two don't play with anybody else until you get a clean bill of health. You can bet your wife wasn't the first woman where it "felt so good" to that walking penis.

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