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I'll agree with the others, only a few times in life do you come to a fork where deciding which one to take is a grave decision...this is one of those times. There are pros and cons to both paths, and I think you know what they all are, better than we ever will. From the age range I'm guessing you to be in too, age becomes a factor too. Time is flying by, so starting over may be harder now than before. Or, in some ways, it may be easier too. I think it comes down to this - trust. Can you see yourself ever trusting him again? Not right away of course, but ever. If the answer is no, then the next question is are you ok living with that? If that second answer is no too, then I think the path is clear. Assuming you get past that hurdle, then the next question is are you ok going back to the way things were between you two sexually? If the answer to that is no, then you are just setting yourself up for resentment. Suffering through that again for a while when you are trying to make things work, that's to be expected. But if it goes on, the resentment will start to creep in and that will start to undermine anything you may have started building back. It's a tough place to be, and we're sorry you are having to go through this. No matter how much he tries to shift blame, it's totally not your fault, always remember that and draw strength from it. Good luck.

I do not understand how anyone can say what will get your relationship in trouble without knowing both sides of it, and by that both his and yours. I can say in the swingers world, No means No and should be respected whether it is between two partners or other couples. Have you directly asked your husband why he wants to see you with other men and have you voiced your concerns. I suspect that one motivation behind it might be once you agree to being with another man he believes you may soften and allow him to be with another woman. I would find out if that is really what is behind it all.

It's hard to guess from your description whether your husband perceives a mutual interest and thinks he's helping while you feel like he's pushing...or if he really is knowingly trying to push something on you that you don't really want. Aside from that, yes, this is a thing that people do and it's very common. "Hotwifing" and "cuckolding" are two different types of things, but both involve the woman having sex with other men. The obvious and most important question is whether or not you're actually interested in having sex with other men...regardless of whether or not he would be playing with other women. Don't get pushed into something you don't want to do.

Hi I am sorry for your situation, but if you do not at all like or get turned on by MFF then you should not do it. I don't know if that is something that one ends up liking, with time, but I doubt it. I think that it is probably best for you to stop MFM as well, because I think that he might also be doing that in the hope that you might want more in the future, so he does not want to close any doors right now. I think swinging is just going to be dangerous to your marriage if you are not on the same page.

Swinging and cheating (other than having sex is involved) have nothing to do with each other. Swinging is done WITH your partners participation and consent, cheating is done without and in secret. That you both participated in MFMs or FMFs has nothing to do with this. He went out, found another woman, had sex and formed a relationship with her. Don't get sidetracked, he cheated. As already stated, you now must choose if you want to stay or go, and if you choose stay, then HE must choose if he wants to stay or go. Either way, swinging is done for a long time (if not forever) until the problems can be fixed in your relationship. You both have some thinking to do and then some honest talking. Let us know how things progress from here. We wish you the best...

So let me get this right - your husband has ED which you guys fix by have a younger man screw you, then try and talk yourself into it by giving half a page about how open marriage can fail? What i am so glad about is this line "At all times, I must be willing to forgo my own physical/self-esteem enhancement for his emotional well being." lucky man lol oh man,

You should NOT convince her about any thing - you SHOULD ask if she wants to do it again. You both are in this together - talk to her and let her know all your feelings and ask her what hers are then make a plan for next time. I don't care if it's the girl or boy when your partner is less in something then strangers then it's that person with the problem - even though effects you. go talk to her set some boundaries if you have too.

Well this is not good at all - you have two options, try and save the marriage or leave him - that's what it comes down to. I think because you have asked or told us about it you want to save the marriage, or at least get some back up? Every thing you have told us is only a front for what is really the problem here - he is selfish and then tries to blame others for his actions - whether you have a higher sex drive or not is irrelevant at this point. 1st stop taking anything for the team for your sake - no woman or man for that matter should be doing this, you know it and so does everyone else even him. So what you need to do is: 1. stay or not. 2. respect yourself - no more being a pushover. 3. tell him exactly how you feel about it all. 4. make or at lest tell him to take responsibility for his actions. 5. give him the choice to stay and fix this or leave - you can not and should not live like this any more. Now I'm not sure how that will go but if he has any self worth left then he will at least have a good think about what he is doing to you and himself. Let us know what happens - but I do not think this will be fixed overnight and it may take a long time to rebuild what you guys had - but it can be done if you both put a effort into it.

I'm so sorry you are in this predicament. I hope that you will talk to a good therapist and a good attorney. As you know, you shouldn't do anything you are not comfortable doing. It sounds like your husband is putting you at risk health-wise, emotionally and financially. He can say whatever he wants to blame you or cajole you, but his actions speak louder than words. IV drug users are at high risk for hiv. I would encourage you to get tested for sti's.

Hello, Just wanted to give you my perspective. My wife and I are just like you guys, my wife plays with other women, but mostly other men. My wife only does this because it is my fantasy and I have told her that it is a huge turn on for me. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5 years, and she has slept with 1 other woman and 2 other guys in front of me since we have been married. We couldn't be more happy or in love with each other. We both love and respect each other, and treat these times as crazy adventures. My wife was reluctant at first I think because she may have thought I would be jealous or resentful, but over time she has realized this is not the case and has not changed the way I feel about her one bit, except for maybe feeling more in love with her. I think you guys just need to talk, a lot, and have real, honest discussions about what you want and expect. Also agree to cut it off at any point and hold no grudges if it goes bad. Agree that it is an adventure and neither of you know how it will turn out until you do it. You have to, in the end, agree to love and respect each other at all times!!

Give some of the not fit in people a chance. You never know who will like who. I have scanned the couples at house parties for potential play partners. We end up paired with the couple that I thought was the least likely pairing and we had a great time. Has happened multiple times.

My sex life has gone beyond any fantasies I've had.

Well mine is kind of different. I love kissing my wife. She is very pretty and a very sensual kisser (lots of lip and tongue action). I would love to watch her suck off 3 or 4 guys with them cumming in her mouth, on her lips and chin and on her chest. Then I would love to make out with her while she stroked me to orgasm! I'm not into the taste of cum but the thought of my slutty wife doing this is incredible. The cum is like the reassurance that she can be a real slut when she wants to. I feel more a part of the whole situation this way. tW, I don't have the urge to clean her off just revel in her being a slutwife. I use that term in a very endearing way, it's not demeaning towards her in any way.

We agree, your story is very well written. Sometimes the best thing to spark some excitement back into a relationship is to know that others still think of your SO as hot and exciting. It's easy to loose some of that spark after as many years as the two of you have been together. Add to that the problem of getting older and ED (once it starts, it can quickly just become a vicious circle where it gets worse as a self fulfilling prophecy). Since you don't have a problem with where things are going, and apparently your husband doesn't either, then we see nothing wrong with what you are doing. On word of caution however: keep making sure that the lines of communication are completely open. Don't let him fall into thinking he isn't needed anymore now that someone else is 'taking care' of you. Just a word of caution, not a prediction. Good luck and keep us updated on how things are going.

Have to say that it was Swing that triggered our journey into the lifestyle. Until stumbling onto this show Erica and I were both afraid to let each other know about our "lifestyler" tendencies. The show allowed us to become more open with each other about our desire to seek more extreme pleasure experiences. Having said that our favourite episode is the Tehya episode. Her hot pink hair and hyper-sexual attitude was liberating and sexy. It was over that episode that allowed us to begin exploring.

Totally new. My wife and I opened our marriage but I've been out of the game so long I dunno if I have any game left in me. I also still raise three kids and going out is tough but possible thanks to the arrangement with my wife. Have not gotten far yet. Just the agreement and mutual interest

It's like what Mark Twain said: "Most of the bad things in my life never happened." So glad your worries were unfounded.