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My late wife and I had talked so much about sex with others that we didn't hesitate to try it when the opportunity arose (so to speak). Sometime before, Laura had done a sexy single dude and told me her story from before the first kiss to the last. She seduced him and I helped her plan it. Our first couple experience started with swapped kissing in our living room where Mrs. Playmate and I remained at first. When the heat had risen considerably, with everybody nude, Laura and Mr. Playmate went into the bedroom. Mrs. Playmate had finished her second tongue-inspired climax when the noise in the bedroom grew in volume. We decided see what was so inspiring my wife. As we entered the bedroom, Laura was on her back with widely spread thighs, her hand guiding Mr. Playmate's cock into place. She huskily said into his ear, "Fuck Me! I'm gonna come! Fuck Me!" She audibly gasped as he penetrated her. She grabbed his buttocks and stretched her legs skyward, her toes pointing toward the ceiling, the whites of her eyes visible. That was the most erotic sight I had ever seen. It's still in the top several. Mrs. Playmate leaned across the bed and made a similar suggestion to me. She and I watched her husband slide furiously within my wife. There was no doubt of what was going on when he pumped semen into Laura while she sucked his tongue. They eventually turned over. Laura slid off and, with her smile wrapped around Mr. Playmate's semi-turgid cock, grinned lewdly into our eyes. I never felt any jealousy, just very much aroused. Laura and I had agreed that we would make our first swap exciting for ourselves and our playmates, knowing only that our marriage and our love for each other would not change. If a couple has developed fear-free communication, there is no limit to what either of you may do with others. Y'all are likely to talk about it afterward, and probably be anxious to make love together. In my opinion, that's why people swing.

About two years ago my husband mentioned he wanted to watch me get fucked by somebody else. Over the past year he has been pushing it on me every day, and he gets so turned on even thinking about another man fucking me. He sends me pics he has found on the net to make me get more and more into it. My question is, am I in the right place? I'm starting to get more and more into the thought of it. But I'm not sure where to start. The only thing is, I don't want him being sexual with other people. Is there a place in swinging for someone like me?

Your experience will be that which you and your wife make it, Markjorge. Laura was the first to admit that she ramped up the show when we swapped. It wasn't that she was acting. The orgasms were quite real, but she did wild things she didn't do when she and I made love. Good luck to y'all!

That was soo hot I hope our experiences can be this great! So excited

My response: I think you do have to be persistent with groups that you want to take part in. Sometimes people just forget to add new numbers or names to the list. If you have their info reach out to them and let them know you are still interested. I can definitely understand being more comfortable as part of a couple or at least going with a single guy. I was there when I was single and it was difficult to show up by myself, especially if I didn't know people. I would definitely suggest setting up a profile online - perhaps on SLS and if nothing else using it to find other parties, groups, or clubs that you might enjoy.

One other thing. Once Ms. Gold and I started down this path, I have never thought of trying to find another woman to replace her. How could I replace someone who actually encourages the two of us to find other couples to play with? Just how in the world could I 'trade up' from that? I thank her and appreciate everything she does for me on a daily basis (something that all too often is overlooked). While you have been together for a long time (28 years) and it can be easy to 'forget' the small things that you both do for each other, but that you were willing to go with him on this path...well, he's forgotten what a great woman you are. You did nothing wrong, he's just forgotten what a great gift he was given.

Hello, Just wanted to give you my perspective. My wife and I are just like you guys, my wife plays with other women, but mostly other men. My wife only does this because it is my fantasy and I have told her that it is a huge turn on for me. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5 years, and she has slept with 1 other woman and 2 other guys in front of me since we have been married. We couldn't be more happy or in love with each other. We both love and respect each other, and treat these times as crazy adventures. My wife was reluctant at first I think because she may have thought I would be jealous or resentful, but over time she has realized this is not the case and has not changed the way I feel about her one bit, except for maybe feeling more in love with her. I think you guys just need to talk, a lot, and have real, honest discussions about what you want and expect. Also agree to cut it off at any point and hold no grudges if it goes bad. Agree that it is an adventure and neither of you know how it will turn out until you do it. You have to, in the end, agree to love and respect each other at all times!!

from Oklahoma, Wants to find! Thank you for posting a vital question to anyone contemplating swinging. It would seem y'all communicate well, that there is no fear of a bad reaction when a question is asked. You might find it revealing if, the next time he asks (this evening?) you ask my late wife's question, "What would you like to see, Darling?" You can learn more about Laura and my philosophy if you click "here" below and read the free section. Don't buy the book. A better version has been written and is in the editing process now. We're glad to have you with us!

A quick reply to get the discussion rolling: How many of these "Don'ts" can you change to "Do"? 1) "Let's try to keep our sexual interest and activity up throughout the week by building on the weekend fun". 2) "Let's revisit our rules, and see if there is room to move closer in our boundaries". 3) "Let's commit to each other to be open, honest, and non-judgmental about what we do and don't like".

We kiss...kissing another man other than Ron in a swinging situation is foreplay and part of the fun. When I kiss Ron it's because I love him as well as foreplay and fun. I think it's just whether a person is able to mentallly draw that line between sex and love. I have no problem drawing that line but others can be uncomfortable with it. Each to their own I think. Ron enjoys seeing me kiss another man in threesomes..he gets very turned on by it. Connie

I TOTALLY agree with Sweetdevil. Intimacy is what swinging is all about. We are becoming intimate in some shape or form with another couple / human being. Yes, kissing has its layers, but kissing is play. We kiss one another for many different reasons. There are innocent kisses and there are not-so-innocent kisses. Why can't one kiss differently when involved in play? I think kissing is also necessary to provide some sort of feedback with a playmate. It may provide honesty and a sense of trust with a playmate. How many people have you kissed (at anytime in your life) and just have KNOWN they are up to no good? (my $.02)

Help me to understand how can kissing be more inimate and emotional THAN penetration?

Swingers Board is a great site for those that both wish to express views or seek a deeper understanding of the lifestyle among other things. I have posted a few things that I wish I could go delete LOL. Everyone I am sure has been insensitive to some issues, including US For me (John), the kissing issue raised concerns that I was a bit confused by. The paradox being of course; how can I so relish the sexual aspect of swinging and feel at all threatened by JUST kissing. I knew as Alura says that it would be a difficult problem to approach by just finding people that would go along with the no kissing rule but I tried it anyhow. It took exactly one minute into our first swinging encounter for Tammy to blow the rule to bits lmao. I decided it was the "heat of the moment" and said nothing until the next day. Tam said something to the effect of "oh its no big deal kissing just adds to the intensity". Well ok I figured and haven't given it a thought since. Now, I actually couldn't imagine swinging without kissing. After that episode I broke a rule once and we have grown from these experiences. We now know that we must both stick to our rules anyhow and we have a higher level of communication as a result. The kissing threat (KT) in my mind is a small hurdle that some people have to just jump over. On the surface (and in retrospect), it does indeed seem ludicrous that it would even be an issue. I suppose it would take some sort of psychologist to thoroughly explain the contradictory emotions involved but an issue is very real if it exists in YOUR mind. It just took a bit of pondering for me to come to the realization that kissing can just be a form of foreplay strictly involving sex as opposed to an expression of intimate feelings. Of course it also adds to the intensity and for many people sex without kissing would have a negative effect on the total enjoyment that we are in fact seeking. John