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My family doctor and gynecologist know. Medical records are protected by law and can not be accessed by employers, divorce courts, traffic courts or randomly by child protective services professionals. The best way to get appropriate care is for your doctor to know your risks.

I bring up this question because my wife loves to have sex fast, hard, and rough. So my question to both women and men is: What is your preference? Rough sex (fast and hard) or Sensual sex (slow and Sensual)? I'm really curious how many are into ether, or just one of these.

Hi this is the wife. I just wanted to give my side so there is a better understanding of what my husband is saying. My entire sex life has been well, a lie. I had to base what was out there on what I got. It was always hard and to the point. I have heard of slow and sensual but never received it. I was a product of my parents selfishness in a sense. I love older men yet was never shown anything new. When my husband came along, again the pace was set into his pace. This continued for many years until I just didn't want to have sex any longer. Recently we talked about the lifestyle and opening up to each other. It has been exciting. 3 days in a row we had sex. 1st day hard and fast, next day s&s, next day same. I told him I have NEVER felt what I felt those 2 days. I came more those 2 days then our entire marriage. There was a sense of closeness and love, a connection that wasn't there before. I had an entirely new outlook on life and he rocked my world. I'll take that over hard any day.��

It's important that you both keep communication open when you're outside of the bedroom also, you both need to be on the same page with regards to what is fantasy and what is reality. For example you might like the fantasy of her being really dirty at the club but in reality taking baby steps might be a better option. We both fantasise a lot in the bedroom but our club experiences are dialled back a fair bit...at least for now lol

This is 90% of the problem from my standpoint as well. Granted in the beginning I thought if they chatted when I contacted his wife she'd be open minded for getting together without​ excess of booze and party distraction. However once that was shot down and him all of a sudden saying he has a Hall pass changed that dynamic. To me he became a single male and those rules of courtesy and etiquette applied. Ignoring me and disrespecting me guaranteed​ his downfall. He's been cut off for texting. He's sent some "how are you" texts, but my wife has not replied. We're back on the same page and I'm working on writing up a combination of our rules and procedures for different situations. That way we're more likely to stay on the same page. Thanks everyone.

We're on the upper side of the age curve in this hobby and so have years of experience as swingers and even more as simply sexually active people. Over the years, we've seen behavior swing markedly towards the hard and fast experience. We attribute it to the pervasiveness of porn (not that porn is a bad thing!) Most porn depicts multiple position changes, acrobatic sex and hard and fast boinking. We get it, if you're just watching, slow and sensual, soft and gentle is kind of boring. Nothing ruins an evening of play for Mrs Doc faster than being flipped and tossed around on the bed into 10 different positions and mercilessly pounded for 45 minutes. We want and enjoy orgasms and like to share them. When we want to sweat like pigs and exercise for an hour, we go to the gym. Slow and sensual for us!!!!

My doctor knows of my lifestyle. The more information a doctor has about you, the better he or she can alert you to health risks and treat any symptoms you may have. It's more than just a matter of STDs. I can't speak for other countries, but the U.S. has very strict medical privacy laws. A good doctor will not judge you, and I got a feeling doctors have heard or seen worse things that swingers. Now whether a male or female doctor is better, that's your preference. It's whatever you are most comfortable with.

My wife and I had no rules before we started. We had friends we really liked who nudists like us, so we often visited each others houses. As time went on, the four of use started flirting a lot, me with the other wife, and the other man with my wife. One night he was lying on the floor with my wife and I was lying with his wife. He started massaging my nude wife and I followed suit with his wife. After about 10 minutes, she nodded with a smile on her face in the direction her husband and my wife. They were having intercourse which was the most exciting thing I had ever seen. I turned back to his wife and starting massaging those parts of her body that I had been carefully avoiding. After a few minutes she and I got up and went into the bedroom where it was much more comfortable to have sex. After we finished we got up and went to the living room so they could have the bed. While we listened to them playing in the bedroom, his wife whispered to me that her husband had wanted to have sex with my wife for a very long time. After they left that night, we fell asleep. When we woke up the next morning we asked each other if it had really happened or was it just a dream. Our next thing we said was how great it had been and how much we wanted to do it again. Neither of us had any jealousy or regrets. That was over 30 years ago. The other couple eventually divorced, but we have remained friends with both of them. The husband is our best friend and we have continued to play with him. We are now in a poly relationship with him and have a mixture of threesomes and, he and my wife playing alone at his place.

By all means I am not suggesting that manipulation is right, I've seen what a narcissistic and codependent personalities can do to a relationship (there some traces of that in the post). I read more in-between the lines. If we are not providing the attention they so much seek, and are not communicating with each other honestly, we are as guilty. "IMO" that doesn't mean you should just do what they want, but should compromise. I guess my view point comes from my upbringing. in Brazil it's almost normal for a man to cheat, doesn't make it right but it's more tolerable. “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” Unknown Something's are worth repairing...in my view.

I am in the slow and sensual school. That's how we do it. I've had some partners who like it rough and it's not my style.

My wife and I believe that giving physicians and other medical care professionals complete information is in our interest. They are able to figure out things that we are not equipped to figure out.

Concealing health information from your physician makes no sense. Your communications and for that matter your medical records are protected by privacy laws. You might be embarrassed by your sexual behavior. Your doctor is not. Your doctor's interest is to protect your health. S/he cannot help you manage health risk unless you acknowledge the risk. You will not be judged. Physician gender does not bear on acceptance. If you are uncomfortable speaking with your doctor, write it down and hand them a note. If you are uncomfortable communicating openly with your doctor, find another doctor.

My ex and I had what I consider to be an "open" relationship. That is, we would both have sex with other people of the opposite sex. Sometimes, we would get emotionally close to the other person. We had rules, of course. If either of us was uncomfortable with a situation, we could call a halt. Normally, we would tell the other before having sex with others, even if it was an ongoing relationship. Our open relationship lasted for more than a decade, I can only remember one serious problem in all those years, it came because of a misunderstanding.

As a woman I have to admit is very natural for most to gang up on a cheating husband. But I found Sun&Moon insight very powerful. We all tend to point fingers (I'm not suggesting what he did is right) and some times we forget to look at ourselves as to why it happened. All I can suggest from seeing close friends divorce, is try to stay away from the negative suggestions of so called friends (many tend to be envious, and get empowered in the misery of others. Sad but true.) Best of luck to you both.

This is going to be a really long first time post because there is a lot of history going on so, please bear with me. First off, my husband and I have been married for going on thirty years. Before you begin to think that we must be ancient, we got married when we were 19. Before that, we had known each other since we were three. Not like next door neighbors or anything, we lived in a small town and our parents ran in the same social circles so we interacted together sporadically and started dating at age 16. He was my first serious boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. We lost our virginities with each other. Long story short, even back then, we knew we were going to get married but, parents being what they are had a panic attack that we were so serious at such an early age and colluded to make sure we went not only to different colleges but, to colleges in different States. My father died suddenly at the end of my Senior year in High School and a couple of months later I found myself alone, surrounded by strangers with a mother who had become distant dealing with her own unresolved emotional issues regarding my father’s death. My “best friend”, the person who had been my rock for so many years, was now hundreds of miles away and phone calls just didn’t cut it when I needed some hugs, which was daily. We had agreed, per our parents request to “see other people” and I slid into the party girl lifestyle (and how) while he did not. He tried dating one other girl but, ended up talking to her about me and his concerns for where I was headed and that pretty much put the freeze on that as it was obvious he was still in love with me. Me? I was able to easily separate the feelings of love I still had for him from “just sex”, pleasure and feeling a physical intimacy with another person. Fast forward three decades, raising five children (two are still teens) and a myriad of roadblocks that life throws at you from moving to job losses and I am happy to say, our marriage is still solid, maybe even more solid than it ever has been. We are still very much in love with one another, enough so, that perfect strangers feel the need to approach and comment on it. About two years ago, DH started having problems with ED and libido. He went for a more indepth physical to rule out heart disease, low testosterone etc. and was proclaimed healthy as a horse…except for a slightly enlarged prostate for which he takes a small daily dose of a well-known ED medication and while it has helped a bit, not enough. At first, we went through the idea that maybe it was just stress at work and I made sure to take steps to ensure that he was getting a good diet, regular exercise, getting enough sleep and of course, plenty of opportunities for stress release. When that all met without success, the ugly monster of self-doubt started to creep in. Maybe I just didn’t physically turn him on anymore. I took a good look at myself, lost five pounds (I was a loose size 6 to begin with), contemplated breast enhancement surgery, threw out my old flannel night gowns in lieu of some silky jammies and did my best to make sure that at all times I remained pleasing to the eye. We did a lot of talking and made some changes to our sex lives including getting out of the vanilla rut we had fallen into over the years. Weekends away from the kids, toys, shared porn watching, even a bit of mild S&M and learning Tantric sex. All of it has helped to a miniscule degree but, again, not to the point where our sex drives are anywhere near matched like it used to be. Fact is, he just doesn’t want it as much as I do and it isn't something you can fake with someone who knows you inside and out. The lack of passion, more than the ED, was starting to make me depressed and unhappy with other aspects of our lives. About six months ago, we discussed many possibilities; everything from hotwifing, to traditional swinging, to cuckhold, to opening our marriage and seeing how that went. He wants me above all else to be happy, he was starting to miss my usual happy do-lucky free spirited self. For six months, it has been a topic of discussion every weekend on “date nights”. Back and forth, forth and back we talked…we even set up “rules of engagement” should we ever decide to pull the trigger. We didn’t until last weekend. DH had gone to the car to get his cell phone and I stood watching the live band playing. A tall very attractive stranger sidled up to me and struck up a conversation. We talked for a while and DH stood a distance away watching. Then a moment later, I looked back in DH's direction and he had disappeared into the crowd. Stranger asked me to dance (we do country western), so I said yes. After the fact, he started talking again and asked the big one. “Are you here alone?” I had to be honest. “No. I’m here with my husband and he is floating around here somewhere.” The stranger visibly stiffened. “But, he’s not going to care that you and I are flirting and dancing. We have an open marriage.” To my surprise, Stranger started to relax. “So, like he won’t mind if I borrow you for the night?” Stranger finally said. “I don’t know. We’d have to ask him. Do you want me to go do that?” I said. Again, cutting to the chase, the three of us talked for a while: together and then separately giving each party a chance to have their say alone with Stranger and then Stranger left DH and I alone a bit to talk. Stranger was divorced about a year ago, has no desire to be in another long term emotional relationship, is seven years my junior, gainfully employed, intelligent, discrete and shared a lot of my interests (we can carry on a conversation) and he had never done anything like this before. He was willing to follow all of the rules DH and I had previously discussed; surprisingly, including that DH got to watch and participate with me if he so chose. DH booked a nearby hotel room and all went well though the only penetration happened between me and DH. Stranger invited DH to hold my hand while Stranger made me cum for the third time. DH even left us alone for a couple of hours and told me to meet him in the parking lot when we were done. Stranger, gave me his number and told me to call if that was what we wanted. Afterwards, DH and I went home with big smiles on our faces and had the best sex we had had in a while; he actually seemed like he wanted it rather than giving me what I wanted out of obligation. The next morning, we concluded that this just might work for us though, he admitted that watching didn’t do much for him. Three days passed and I did finally call Stranger. It was his first time doing anything like that and I figured, he might have some regrets and wanted to feel out his thoughts. Nope. Stranger is fine with it, though he also admitted that being watched was uncomfortable for him. We have met for coffee once since just to see where, if anywhere, this might go. Our little discussion only reinforced that I made a good choice with this man being our first. He is a good person and can, like me, separate sex from “having an emotional relationship”. It has now been almost a week hence and DH and I have done a lot of talking (and passionate lovemaking) since. He has changed his stance on several of the rules as he makes an emotional shift between talking about things and having actually experienced them. He no longer has any problem with me going it alone with Stranger as long as he knows where I am at all times (with Stranger) and how long I will be gone. He has given the go-ahead to have penetrative sex if it evolves that way. This whole experience, though more of a bar pick-up than “swinging” has sparked a passion for me, in him that I have not seen in a very long time. He is actually flirting with me throughout the day. I feel a sense of relief in so many ways it is hard to count. His ED is still a bit of an issue but, nothing like it was before. It matters more to me that he wants sex again than how long or how hard he gets. For the last week, he has been able to satisfy my desire and meet my own passion with some of his own. For the first time in years, he is the one initiating sex. My question for all of you is what is the best direction to take things from here? Me getting emotionally involved with Stranger beyond a respectful interaction for mutually satisfying sex is not going to become an issue for any of us. Stranger and I are using each other, we all know it and have discussed it in very honest terms. We aren’t hanging out with each other’s friends or discussing our extracurricular arrangement with others. It is really just a “fuck buddy” kind of thing and will remain so. The question we have is if we should expand our horizons a bit. DH is open to doing something similar on his side (thinks, but actually pulling the trigger on it might be a different thing) but, having never been with another woman is a bit daunting for him, especially with his ED. He is a good looking man, looks a bit like present day George Clooney. Women constantly make passes at him. He doesn’t even realize when a woman is flirting with him. Hell, when we were 16, I practically had to do a lap dance at a football game before he thought I was interested in going out with him. He doesn’t realize how attractive he is and is a bit shy, which makes him absolutely irresistible to a lot of females. We have thought about visiting a swinger’s club in a nearby town but, with all of the hacking that goes on in technology these days, having our names on a “list” somewhere as members makes us really nervous. Even posting here is bringing trepidation. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I totally get the weird feeling you're experiencing, I'm right there with you just reading your post. Here's what I'm reading - She only wants to screw your husband - Because of that if they had their way you would all always play together and do so exclusively To me this would feel not only stifling, but also like they were just asking way too much, and perhaps because of how they reacted the last time you all played together you're feeling pressured to commit to something that isn't ultimately what you want out of your swing experience. I think this is just one of those fundamental incompatibilities that comes up from time to time. They're looking for a steady and exclusive relationship, you're looking to play with multiple people who are also out having their own experiences so don't come across as needy. You can't give them what they want and they can't give you what you want, so why keep trying to force a round peg into a square hole, just stop playing with them (because as they have been so clear about what they want, every time you play with them you're probably giving them hope that you're going to be what they want).

I would find that awkward, if there was a couple and the guy only ever played with my wife I'd be thinking "woah hang on a minute" I'd be worried there was more to it than just feeling comfortable, not sure what the solution is but I guess it's either don't play with them anymore or tell her your feelings. It doesn't really matter whether you're right or wrong to feel the way you do, it's just the way you feel and that's that.

We met our doctor at a party years ago. He examines my wife quite frequently.

I'm not a woman but I know how my late wife felt. She never wanted hard and fast from me, nor was I able to give it to her. "It doesn't fit into our love-making, Darling," she said. With a playmate it was a different story. Hard and fast was great. That's why we were in the lifestyle. We could experience both.

We agree that things can get quickly out of hand. All three of us are aware of that pitfall and have openly discussed it with all parties present not once but on multiple occasions. Per our (the three of us) conversation last night: it is walking that razor's edge between a physical connection and an emotional one where the secondary relationship cannot interfere with the well-being of the primary one. We cannot predict the future. This whole thing might work on the long term. It could end tomorrow. Just so everyone knows, DH is very much included in the relationship between R and myself. Nothing is hidden between any of the parties involved. In addition to what I relay to him, DH gets an "eyes on" chance to see for himself what is going on between R and me each time we meet up. Often the three of us will eat together and conversations of all types are had with input from all. All three of us are surprised at the ease with which we can all talk to one another openly and honestly about anything in such a short time. For whatever reason, this has all seemed so natural, without awkwardness. I am not very good at hiding my thoughts, should never play poker and DH can read me like a book. He might not always know exactly what I am thinking but, he knows to ask. That is where communication, honesty (both with each other and with ourselves) comes in. If at any point DH sees anything that hints at inappropriate feelings developing, he will voice it without reserve and knows that I will not dismiss his observations. Sometimes he knows me better than I know myself. The following two paragraphs, may or may not be of relevance here but, probably should be mentioned. Throughout our lives together, most of my best friends have been male. Of the five people that I know would drop everything if we needed help, only one of them is female. None of those relationships have even semi-entered into a physical one even though we have known each other for decades. They are truly "just" friends. I simply find the emotional drama that most females tend to drag around with them, tiresome. I prefer the way a man's mind works; get pissed off, have your say and then move on. No back stabbing or gossiping, no dragging up unresolved issues. Speak your mind and be done. As I mentioned previously, there are several complex issues at hand. Both R and I are "sapiosexuals", meaning, we are very much attracted to and turned on by intellect, almost more than physical stimulation. Speaking for myself, a good intellectual conversation can often leave me as sexually satisfied as a decent roll in the hay. This aspect makes it so that both of us could, if it intellectually made sense, end the physical relationship and still find the other aspects of the relationship very satisfying for both of us. Mind sex. It is a curious dynamic and more often difficult compatibility-wise to find than a good physical one. As DH's married/divorcing friend from the bar noted in surprise upon meeting R, he's not as good looking as she expected (meaning DH is much better looking). To which DH relayed to her, yes, but R is very smart so my choice wasn't a surprise to him. I'm not naïve in this and neither is anyone else involved here (R is not some twenty year old and this isn't his first rodeo. It is part of the reason I turned down the 29 year old boy toy). If anything, because this is our first journey as a married couple into this genre, we are being hyper vigilant in that regard. Things will evolve and change...they already have and so far, so good. For now, we will take things day by day, watch for anything that even hints at a problem and discuss how best to move forward as a couple. There is always a choice to be had one of which is to call it quits cold-turkey if things are headed in a "too dangerous" direction. PS: DH would like all of you to know that he is no longer having issues with his ED and his sex drive is beyond normal (we are having hot sex daily) so if y'all can stop focusing on that please.

I can understand your critique and it is one of the pitfalls of written communications and not actually knowing the people in question, that often things go unsaid which probably should not. Both of us read your post. A short summary of the commentary from him: DH said to tell you that as far as the issue of him not having a choice here, don't worry about him. He said neither of us has a doubt that if either he or I wanted to call it quits, wanted to go back to a monogamous lifestyle, that either of us would do anything for the other. It sure would be a lot easier from a logistics standpoint. No questions asked. DH says he is not the free spirit that I am and knows that loosening up a bit would be good for him. He has actually always coveted the ability that I have to speak my mind and be myself without constantly worrying about being judged by others. It is part of why he loves me so much and without it, I wouldn't be me. That even though he is moving much more slowly than I, he is finding it to be a worthy pursuit. He says he will get there in in his own time or not---in which case we can always decide to make another change. We balance each other out in the best way possible. Whatever partners we encounter know that any one of us can put the brakes on this at any moment. It is part of the discussion we have with them. To clarify, this was something that both of us have brought up to one another during the last few years. Sometimes he was hesitant to take that step and sometimes I was. Eventually through discussions, we BOTH decided to give this a try and see how it works for us. Neither one is going to leave this marriage for any reason. Period. If you would like to get into some of the trials and tribulations of what we have been through in our lives that I did not detail here, start with $26,000 a year, 20 years old with a baby and no government assistance or parental charity taken. We dug ourselves out of that quagmire to make quite a nice life for our family and we did it as a team. If you don't think that was tough enough, try putting yourselves through college at the same time. You need not worry about my feelings of self worth or the adoration and admiration I feel for my husband. He is the most wonderful caring father and husband. I am quite proud of what we accomplished together. What were you doing in your relationships at age 20? I know what all of our friends were doing and it wasn't working full time, changing diapers, making meals and being so dog tired that you found yourself waking up the next morning with your face firmly planted on a text book, while trying to make a traditional marriage work long term as you both ran in different directions one off to your 7:30 am micro economics class and the other getting ready for work. Rinse. Repeat. Ask me to show you a person that has absolutely no self doubts, never evaluates what they could have done differently or thinks they could have done something in their lives better and I will show you either an arrogant ass or a psychopath. I am far from perfect and made my share of mistakes but, I love my husband and put his feelings before my own. I am not easily insulted but, in this case I am actually insulted that you would even entertain the idea that I would walk out on my husband because he has a little issue sometimes in the bedroom. Talk about blows to my self-worth? Thanks a lot. We will depart this earth married and very much in love with the other. If the last 30+ years working through issues of far greater importance to a marriage than sex haven't already evidenced that, I don't know what would.

My late wife and I had talked so much about sex with others that we didn't hesitate to try it when the opportunity arose (so to speak). Sometime before, Laura had done a sexy single dude and told me her story from before the first kiss to the last. She seduced him and I helped her plan it. Our first couple experience started with swapped kissing in our living room where Mrs. Playmate and I remained at first. When the heat had risen considerably, with everybody nude, Laura and Mr. Playmate went into the bedroom. Mrs. Playmate had finished her second tongue-inspired climax when the noise in the bedroom grew in volume. We decided see what was so inspiring my wife. As we entered the bedroom, Laura was on her back with widely spread thighs, her hand guiding Mr. Playmate's cock into place. She huskily said into his ear, "Fuck Me! I'm gonna come! Fuck Me!" She audibly gasped as he penetrated her. She grabbed his buttocks and stretched her legs skyward, her toes pointing toward the ceiling, the whites of her eyes visible. That was the most erotic sight I had ever seen. It's still in the top several. Mrs. Playmate leaned across the bed and made a similar suggestion to me. She and I watched her husband slide furiously within my wife. There was no doubt of what was going on when he pumped semen into Laura while she sucked his tongue. They eventually turned over. Laura slid off and, with her smile wrapped around Mr. Playmate's semi-turgid cock, grinned lewdly into our eyes. I never felt any jealousy, just very much aroused. Laura and I had agreed that we would make our first swap exciting for ourselves and our playmates, knowing only that our marriage and our love for each other would not change. If a couple has developed fear-free communication, there is no limit to what either of you may do with others. Y'all are likely to talk about it afterward, and probably be anxious to make love together. In my opinion, that's why people swing.

Stanger is no longer in the picture. He couldn't live within the rules we set out and asked me to sneak around behind my husband's back. He's history. So it goes. On the other hand, I think we have found someone who will and has so far worked in nicely with our comfort level. He is five years my senior, an attorney and mechanical engineer, intelligent, open minded and very comfortable in his own skin. A good communicator. I'll call him R. He and DH have really hit it off in the socialization category. There is just an ease between the three of us when we are in the same room together that wasn't there with Stranger. Last Friday, we went out on a second "Date". When I say "we", I mean all three of us. DH brought me to the deli where we met up. We ate together and R and DH had a nice conversation about the space-x program and then DH went to the dance hall and left R and I to ourselves. It was the opportunity for R to go over the rules that DH and I have, discuss them and make sure R thought he could live with them. We had a very nice conversation and as R said, I was doing a good job of managing expectations (which he did not take issue with), I believe we got our points across. R and I then proceeded to go dancing at the same place where DH was. DH was busy talking to his cute harem of women, which made me happy to see. There are about four regulars he hangs out with. Three of them are single and one is married but, is divorcing; I have met all of them and like them, though each and every one of them has something in their lives that makes DH hesitant to act beyond flirting. One is divorcing so he steers clear of doing anything that will make her life more difficult. Another is just a mixed up emotional mess. The third is personality wise very fun and outgoing (squeezed his butt two weeks ago) but, he just doesn't find her physically appealing at all. The fourth, is gay. He has selected a bunch of "safe" women to hang around with and have fun. Flirtatious fun, may be all he is ready to do. If and when he is ready to do more, that will be up to him to decide. Not me. We were talking about our experiences so far and he revealed to me that until we ventured into this, he hadn't realized how much of himself he had lost. He always felt guilty talking with other women even though I had reassured him, even encouraged him to do so. To see him openly flirting with a bunch of women, being a man, not just a husband and father but, acting like a man warmed my heart. It has put him back in touch with a part of him that exists separately from his role as responsible father and husband. I saw my high school sweetheart coming out again, this time he wasn't a shy boy but a confident man. SO SEXY! I knew it was in there but, couldn't figure out how to get him to give himself permission to show it. This seems to have done the trick. Anyway, R and I went and sat out on the patio and talked for a while about intellectual pursuits and DH came out to visit. The banter between the three of us was wonderful and comfortable. It was quite stimulating. A while later we let DH know that R and I were headed out. He handed me a hotel key and told me to text him when I was ready for him to join me, gave me a quick smooch and we left. I won't bore you all with the details but, there are some advantages to sex with older men who know the lay of the land so to speak...R needed to get home as his mid-teens daughter was alone at home. I called DH who came over and we made love without all of the toys, warm up and other rigmarole that we usually end up going through. The advantage to that was that I was ready to go and he didn't have to last all that long to get the job done. It was good. Timing was impeccable. We spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms. Very satisfying for both of us. I have since spoken with R twice and we are meeting for coffee later this week to exchange manuscripts we have both written and are in need of a fresh eye for editing and, of course to make plans for another "date". DH is actually feeling really good about how all of this is forming, so that is the best thing of all.

Fascinating story, well-told. Thanks for sharing. Many of the facts are similar for my lovely wife and for me, but with the help of testosterone therapy and the blue pill, I am doing well. I would welcome DW embracing the hotwife (or whatever you call it) lifestyle, but she is not interested at this time. We are older, she is 63, so that explains some of it. Just want to let you know that there are husbands like me and like your DH who, sincerely, want nothing more than to see you extract the greatest pleasures that life has to offer. You are definitely intelligent, articulate and from my standpoint, you have identified the critical stumbles. Please continue to report as things move along. Some of us are voyeurs, too!!