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I think with the right person you can have a family and swing. I do think that one year is not long enough to make the life-long commitment that you make when you have a child with someone. We started swinging when our kids were 5 and 2 years old. We very rarely swing at home. We pay our sitter $10 an hour. The babysitting plus going toa club or hotel party can get really expensive. It's worth it to us to have a night out, and not be worried about strangers in our home or little knocks at the door.

People that smoke don't realize that their hair, clothes, face, hands, car, house, and even money smell like smoke. We choose to avoid it. Again, we realize we are not the "sport" couple now. So a trip to the mountains with our FWB would not work well with a smoker.

I love you baby. And sorry for reinforcing your belief that you were broken. I hope you now know that you are not broken, just not fully awake. And you are waking up now. I love you more and more everyday.

How about because it's weird. Too much of a potential threat to your relationship. Move along...

We're on the upper side of the age curve in this hobby and so have years of experience as swingers and even more as simply sexually active people. Over the years, we've seen behavior swing markedly towards the hard and fast experience. We attribute it to the pervasiveness of porn (not that porn is a bad thing!) Most porn depicts multiple position changes, acrobatic sex and hard and fast boinking. We get it, if you're just watching, slow and sensual, soft and gentle is kind of boring. Nothing ruins an evening of play for Mrs Doc faster than being flipped and tossed around on the bed into 10 different positions and mercilessly pounded for 45 minutes. We want and enjoy orgasms and like to share them. When we want to sweat like pigs and exercise for an hour, we go to the gym. Slow and sensual for us!!!!

Last fall we entered into a poly triad with our best male friend. My wife and I have played with him for over 30 years, and have also done a lot of vanilla things together. That means that we have a lot of history together and really know each other. If I died, I am fairly sure my wife would not marry him, but I am sure he and my wife would continue to hang around together a lot. One of the nice things about having a long marriage, 48 yrs for us, is that you have all those memories of what you have done together. Losing those memories would be very hard. Since the three of us have known each other for about 35 years and played together for 30 years, we three have a lot shared memories which would help my wife. Our friend's wife died unexpectedly 3 years ago and I know how much our closeness with him over the years has helped him.

I think it is perfectly ok to feel extra special when you are with a favorite playmate. That's kind of what it is all about really, having fun and feeling that way you do when all things are going great. It's just a simple fact of life that you sync better with some people than with others. Just like with friends. There are casual friends, close friends, special friends. You are friends with all of them, but those friendships just are all on different levels. Playmates are no different. That you may sync better with one friend or playmate doesn't minimize what you share with any of the others, but some people you just have a special connection with, and that's ok.

I think it is normal. I have people that I am really crazy about. My husband knows who these people are, but I do not talk about them often. I have time to daydream and do that on my own time so it doesn't affect our relationship. I would never leave my husband for any of them, but I will jump at the chance to spend time with them. I think there is only a problem if you start to fantasize about making a life with another person or comparing your husband to them in a negative way.

Having a connection with your play partner only makes it better...more exciting. Just as long as that connection doesn't interfere with your relationship with your actual partner. As long as the two things can be kept separate, everything's good (great, in fact). Machiavel55:

Ok, I'll go as far as saying the guy would have to be a younger guy with a baby soft face and a decent build would not be a bad thing. Full lips, a thick cock and be a gentle lover. Did I just say that?! Fuck me lol