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I have a dress that I am planning to wear TO the club. If I feel over dressed..or everyone is walking around in lingerie, I went shopping for something to take that I could change into. Would this be appropriate?

We once brought a sushi platter and it was a big hit.

Some of the ones we have gone to have mentioned bringing food/snacks to share, they usually have a table where everyone leaves the stuff they brought. We figured a bunch of cupcakes made sense for the reason we stated. Plus who doesn't like a good cupcake? Are we missing something that makes cupcakes a bad idea?

160 people? Even if only half showed up it sounds frightening. Hmmm. My wife and I would be tempted to go see. But we're experienced in stuff like this and have learned how to quickly read a crowd -- and how to estimate the ratio of people to bedrooms. We hate fucking on kitchen countertops or in backyard tents.

We had an amazing couple who were new but dove right in, then after a while they said they were taking a break because he needed surgery, they subsequently deleted our ongoing kik chat and we never heard from them again. We pretty much shrugged and carried on carrying on, who knows what is going on in their relationship. I once went through a phase where I couldn't even stand to hear my husband comment that he found another woman attractive (which is especially weird when you consider that I'm bi and love looking at other women). I wasn't feeling completely comfortable and appreciated in the relationship so all extra curricular activity stopped until I was feeling secure and appreciated again.

As stated above: nail - head. Listen to yourself on this one. If your relationship is missing something, you shouldn't be swinging. Swinging will only make things worse as it magnifies problems. I can count on one hand the number of times I've told Ms. Gold I love her...today (but it's only 8am). There are multiple red flags in this quote alone (only twice SOBER?). Bottom line is there is a huge communication break down here (that leads to a lack of trust and apparently questions about how much love is involved). If he can't or won't tell you that he loves you, for whatever reason, that is a bad thing. Why? Because it makes him vulnerable? Because he has problems trusting others? Swinging makes me love Ms. Gold more than I ever thought I could love anyone. It has made our relationship shoot to heights I never imagined possible. I don't care who knows I love her and make it a point to tell her that every day. I couldn't be able to stop myself even if I wanted to (and I sure don't). So, I do things like that for others all of the time...doesn't mean I love them. Kindness isn't the same as love. Saying he loves you along with backing that up with showing he loves you by doing little things, well that's different. I am thankful for everything Ms. Gold does for me and I figured out that telling her that makes her want to do more for me...which in turn makes me want to do more for her. I want her to know how awesome I see her as being. I want her to know how important she is to me. If she is feeling insecure, I am doing something wrong and need to fix it. If he can't talk to you about his feelings for you, then this is where your problems start. That he can flirt, sext and compliment others and you can't is another warning flag. You both should be equal in your relationship. That he doesn't want you doing these things shows (IMHO) a lack of trust on his part. Him not wanting to have 'reconnect sex' (or at least reconnect cuddling) afterwards is also strange. I usually can't keep my hands off Ms. Gold (seeing her playing is SO sexy). So telling you he loves you is a problem. Trusting you seems to also be a problem, and he is unwilling to talk to you about why it is a problem is a problem. We agree with what cplnuswing said: You seem to have the love, trust and communication needed to be successful in the L/S (should you choose to). Just from your limited posts here, it sounds like you are trying to communicate, trust and love him. It doesn't sound like you are getting back nearly as much as you are giving. Back to your original question: Instead of asking this, ask yourself if you removed the 'lifestyle' from the question how would you feel. Is this normal for a (any) relationship?

Understand. We still meet our established friends.