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It's been my personal distinction that a house party had 8-10 couples tops, all personally invited by the hosts. If same room is what you do, it doesn't have to change. Our experience says that while we usually are same room, for this type of party we're okay being separated. This stems from the personal invitation from the hosts-- we trust the hosts and we would extend a decent amount of the same to those they invited. We expect to bring something to share (other than ourselves, har-de-har), and if it wasn't explicitly stated we'd just ask what can be bring to help. It's been a while since we've been to a house party by this definition, but it's my favorite type of get-together.

Here's mine. My girlfriend and I go to a swing club. We're in the hot tub, and she gets hit on by a guy, decides (with my approval) to go off with him to a private room. While they're doing that, I get dressed and head for the dance floor. There's my ex-wife. She's shown up as a single female. She approaches me, tells me how much she's missed me, that she has to have me right then and there. I tell her to go fuck herself.

Cupcakes are a great idea!

Stanger is no longer in the picture. He couldn't live within the rules we set out and asked me to sneak around behind my husband's back. He's history. So it goes. On the other hand, I think we have found someone who will and has so far worked in nicely with our comfort level. He is five years my senior, an attorney and mechanical engineer, intelligent, open minded and very comfortable in his own skin. A good communicator. I'll call him R. He and DH have really hit it off in the socialization category. There is just an ease between the three of us when we are in the same room together that wasn't there with Stranger. Last Friday, we went out on a second "Date". When I say "we", I mean all three of us. DH brought me to the deli where we met up. We ate together and R and DH had a nice conversation about the space-x program and then DH went to the dance hall and left R and I to ourselves. It was the opportunity for R to go over the rules that DH and I have, discuss them and make sure R thought he could live with them. We had a very nice conversation and as R said, I was doing a good job of managing expectations (which he did not take issue with), I believe we got our points across. R and I then proceeded to go dancing at the same place where DH was. DH was busy talking to his cute harem of women, which made me happy to see. There are about four regulars he hangs out with. Three of them are single and one is married but, is divorcing; I have met all of them and like them, though each and every one of them has something in their lives that makes DH hesitant to act beyond flirting. One is divorcing so he steers clear of doing anything that will make her life more difficult. Another is just a mixed up emotional mess. The third is personality wise very fun and outgoing (squeezed his butt two weeks ago) but, he just doesn't find her physically appealing at all. The fourth, is gay. He has selected a bunch of "safe" women to hang around with and have fun. Flirtatious fun, may be all he is ready to do. If and when he is ready to do more, that will be up to him to decide. Not me. We were talking about our experiences so far and he revealed to me that until we ventured into this, he hadn't realized how much of himself he had lost. He always felt guilty talking with other women even though I had reassured him, even encouraged him to do so. To see him openly flirting with a bunch of women, being a man, not just a husband and father but, acting like a man warmed my heart. It has put him back in touch with a part of him that exists separately from his role as responsible father and husband. I saw my high school sweetheart coming out again, this time he wasn't a shy boy but a confident man. SO SEXY! I knew it was in there but, couldn't figure out how to get him to give himself permission to show it. This seems to have done the trick. Anyway, R and I went and sat out on the patio and talked for a while about intellectual pursuits and DH came out to visit. The banter between the three of us was wonderful and comfortable. It was quite stimulating. A while later we let DH know that R and I were headed out. He handed me a hotel key and told me to text him when I was ready for him to join me, gave me a quick smooch and we left. I won't bore you all with the details but, there are some advantages to sex with older men who know the lay of the land so to speak...R needed to get home as his mid-teens daughter was alone at home. I called DH who came over and we made love without all of the toys, warm up and other rigmarole that we usually end up going through. The advantage to that was that I was ready to go and he didn't have to last all that long to get the job done. It was good. Timing was impeccable. We spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other's arms. Very satisfying for both of us. I have since spoken with R twice and we are meeting for coffee later this week to exchange manuscripts we have both written and are in need of a fresh eye for editing and, of course to make plans for another "date". DH is actually feeling really good about how all of this is forming, so that is the best thing of all.

We really enjoyed reading your story. You were very frank and open in explaining the circumstances that have led you meeting Stranger. Very well written. We've been open for a few years now. She gets more... "attention" than he does, but we're not keeping score. We've had a variety of experiences that have had him involved or not involved. It has been a wonderful ride except that it isn't easy to find her kind of guy who wants to stick around. It has happened though. From a couple who's "been there", you'll get nothing but encouragement from us. Life is short. Be picky and go have fun. Just be sure to always communicate and share feelings with each other often. Best luck!

Fascinating story, well-told. Thanks for sharing. Many of the facts are similar for my lovely wife and for me, but with the help of testosterone therapy and the blue pill, I am doing well. I would welcome DW embracing the hotwife (or whatever you call it) lifestyle, but she is not interested at this time. We are older, she is 63, so that explains some of it. Just want to let you know that there are husbands like me and like your DH who, sincerely, want nothing more than to see you extract the greatest pleasures that life has to offer. You are definitely intelligent, articulate and from my standpoint, you have identified the critical stumbles. Please continue to report as things move along. Some of us are voyeurs, too!!