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Sounds like a lack of communication/organization within that couple. We wouldn't want to meet them. Even outside the party.

It is surely common 'flake' behavior. It is also fair to say that SLS is relatively non-selective about who gets on. Still, it seems a bit unfair to tag the website with accountability for the juvenile behavior of a few. We would be frustrated not by the lack of opportunity to meet new people but rather by the time wasted in raising expectations. In another thread, we bemoaned related 'flake' behavior. Another board member commented that they had progressively limited their email, chat, phone conversations until they could actually meet the 'other couple' in person such as for coffee or drinks or a light meal. This is not only good advice that we have taken to heart, it seems increasingly important. Perhaps we are getting older or noticing it more, but in all phases of our lives people seem to renege on their commitments with increasing frequency. We view the world differently; our word is our bond. Perhaps we expect too much.

Sorry... Not trying to make a blanket statement here, but why do most people automatically think a guy is gay or bi-curious, just because he wants to have a MFM with his wife? Or that he doesn't love his wife, because no man that loves his wife would ever let another man fuck her... This is something that I have encountered with my friends as well as ppl on other forums. I had a situation happen the other day with another couple my wife and I hang out with often. We were playing a game and the topic of would you rather have a threesome with another female or another guy? My wife is the only person who knows that I want to have a MFM, so she knows not to say anything to other people about it. It's not something I'm ashamed about, but I don't feel like explaining myself to another dude who is going to think I'm gay/bi no matter how strong my case is. Anyway... the other guy chimes in right away saying "that's a stupid question... obviously me and (insert name) would want another girl. Only gay guys would want a male." I just laughed about it, but it honestly agitated me a little bit. Now I know what you're thinking... you need to get better friends. They are actually good guys though, just really ignorant when it comes to stuff like this. The funny part is that if some of my guy friends knew this about me, I'm pretty sure most of them would be down for fucking my wife. Once they can get over their homophobe tendencies.

To jaxyuppies, sorry for the situation, hope you have a healthy great child.

That's one of the reasons that we are going on another LS cruise this summer. Couples make an effort (and spend money) to be part of the experience; they are there by choice, and without pretense. The only downside is post-cruise geography and distance: the couples with whom we have fun and memorable times always seem to live some distance away.

Many times we run in to this type of behavior, we started swinging because of communication and open nature of the people in the Lifestyle. We find that many are judgemental, do not communicate well with their other half or potential playmates and tend to think they deserve better than what they have to offer. We have multiple invites and blind KIK chats request, as soon as we exchange pictures (before any conversation)they state they are not interested and disappear. Way too many people consider the pictures to be the entire package, we are starting to think that clubs are going to be the best way to meet new couples moving forward.

Sounds like they save you both some time by eliminating themselves from the list. Move on to the next couple and don't think about this at all.

I built one out of a windscreen wiper motor. It does not vibrate however. I made a variable DC power supply and a seat of two arms with a gap between. The dildo raises and falls. it can be adjusted from an about 1" to 6" and goes from veeerrry slow to as fast as your windscreen wipers can go in a storm. It has a direction switch so you can just poke a bit with it or let it just push its way in from very gently to "OH WOW" Very comfy to sit on and just keeps going and going and going. The continuous action does not rush you to orgasm but lets it build over some time. Relaxed, and comfortable as the interchangeable dildo is pulled out and pushed in for as long as you can make it last. We have not tried it in company yet. Just my wife and I.

Just another example of SLS Silliness.

We normally have a drink to be social. Mike will never have more than two drinks. I am not a fan of drunks and I have seen men get nasty. People should know their limits.

The friends that need to know, know! Those that don't need to know don't know! I am very discreet not just with my lifestyle friends but all my friends MFM to me means we are trying to make her the center of our attention. I am focused on making her happy, if our penises touch oh well I am not there for him or myself but her. I don't think I am gay or bi. I think I am just in touch with who and what I am. A person who wants to bring joy to my sexual partner the lady!

I remember seeing a poll here years ago which asked the question which would you prefer, FMF or MFM. Ok, the results are biased as it was all readers of this forum taking the poll But, among guys the answer was 2:1 in favor of MFM. Personally, I love MFMs as I love seeing my wife enjoy being the center of attention and having non-stop sex.

I've been in quite a few MFM situations, and it's never been an issue. Women last a long time if you warm them up right, so sometimes it takes more than one guy to get the job done!

Much of what is said in a group like yours is based on upbringing, not true feelings. Assuming a guy would have to be gay to be naked with another man reeks of church and homophobic influence and how he wishes to be perceived. We would actively look for bi men for mmf. They are kinda rare. Plenty of straight guys willing to team up but few wanting to play for both sides. I think you'll see this attitude shift as you age. It's a bummer that our best sex years are usually wasted with jealousy, insecurity and homophobia.

to everything already said above... Pay extra close attention to this. Swinging only AMPLIFIES what's already there. It sounds like what you have isn't in all that good of shape and moving forward will only make things worse (hey, look at this, a bunch of swingers saying that you probably shouldn't swing). Unless you have love, trust and communication IN EXCESS, then I would have to say that this isn't a good plan. Work on your love, trust and communication and when you feel that you have more of each than you have ever thought possible, THEN think about returning to the idea of swinging...but not with her now married ex-boyfriend. I STRONGLY doubt that HIS wife will be on board with this either which means that for things to move ahead, HE would be cheating on his wife...and cheating IS NEVER swinging. If, at some point you are ready and WILLING to move forward with this, as Coupleinmd already pointed out, finding a willing male to participate is like shooting fish in a barrel. Don't bring potential drama into another couples life. Oh, and welcome...

Hello, goodfella44, and welcome to SwingersBoard! intuition897 gave some really good advice! In reading your story, I have a concern, thinking about whether it is the general notion of bringing a third into the bedroom, or the idea of bringing this guy into the bedroom, that is the real attraction for your wife. One way to discern the difference might be to see if her level of enthusiasm is as high if you two were to instead consider bringing in someone that you two do not already know. This is not a bad idea anyway, as playing with friends, especially ex-boyfriends, can be fraught with potential problems. Let me reassure you that you can find a guy for a threesome, without going to an ex-boyfriend! There are plenty of ways to meet a new person, and it can be both fun and safe. You can set up a profile on one of the swinger sites that specialize in helping people to meet, such as SLS, SDC, SZC, Swingtowns, APG, Kasidie, or Quiver. She can indicate there her desire for more rough, kinky sex. You can carefully vet people together, and for those you want to meet, you can set up a first get-together in a public place, like a bar or restaurant, where you can talk and get to know the guy. It is very common for people to state right up front that a first meeting will be just for talking and getting to know each other, with no sex. How do you think she would react if you were to express a desire for an encounter with another woman on the same terms as she expressed? I don't know if this idea holds any interest for you, but an exploration of the subject, in theory at least, might give a clue to her thinking about broadening your sex life generally. I note that the title you chose for this thread, "Wife is not happy with our sex life", is rather more dire-sounding than the body of your post. Do you really think she is not happy, or is she thinking about improving an already-good thing? You characterized your sex life as "decent"- are you unhappy with your sex life? Iscthere something you would like to do to improve your sexual relationship with your wife? If so, that would make for another great topic of conversation between you! Good luck, and I hope you two keep talking!

Giving my wife an ultimate sexual experience. Doing all the wonderful things she loves to have done to her all at once by several people. She would be the center of attention. Both her nipples gently sucked and played with and her clit being licked all while getting fucked with long slow strokes. Throw in some soft kisses and multiple hands gently caressing her body too. It's all about her pleasure.

I think if you can go two rounds, you're doing pretty good! We have had evenings where I went one round, two rounds, or even three rounds, and it's been just fine each time. I know of only one person who I play with, who has expressed an expectation of me going multiple rounds with her. That's not to say that there aren't many women who would love to play with a guy who can orgasm several times during a play date,! But I think most women understand the physiology of this, and will not hold it against you if you can't get it up a second or third time. Besides, you can always please them in other ways!

Why wouldn't I want to be the one pleasing her in every way? A fair question. I actually do please her. We have some amazing and often kinky sex. People swing not because something is lacking, but because everything is already great. So you want to share that greatness. I actually hope someone pleases her more than I can. Because what's the point of swapping if the new partner is lousy? I'm not intimidated in the least. I know I have her heart and her love, that's what matters to me. I see her in the throws of ecstasy and in that moment I'm sharing that joy with her, the source of the ecstasy is irrelevant because she is coming home to me. Back to our real life, our true love and back to what we have built together for 15 years.

I can answer only for myself... I have strong voyeuristic tendencies. I like to watch my wife having sex because I like to watch her. I like to see her expressions, listen to her voice and watch how she moves. I can't do this while I'm having sex with her, because my own sensations and reactions blur what I see. It doesn't mean I don't also enjoy having sex with her myself. I do, very much so... but I also enjoy watching her. For her part, my wife loves to perform. Given the chance, she enjoys putting on a show and enjoys knowing that I enjoy watching. Thus, our particular kinks support each other and the experience is one of shared pleasure.