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So we've decided to investigate and see if the lifestyle is for us. First, appreciate all the advice we've read in the forums so far from the more experienced. Question is this, regarding couples we meet for play. Do you, as couples with more experience, keep several couples you click with in a sort of rotation? Is that acceptable, or are repeat play sessions considered a bad idea at the risk of developing problems within the foursome?? Thanks for advice, and hope we don't look too amateur lol. 'Cause we are.

The late Mrs. Alura and I tried to take advantage of sexy situations as they arose. Our first experiment was with "hotwifing" when Laura met an attractive guy and put him in the category: "When I was single, I would have fucked him in a New York minute, Darling." Well, she experienced the thrill of extramarital sex when she fucked him, and we decided it was fun! I helped her plan the adventure, which was a week in developing. I didn't participate but got updates each evening on her "Project Fuck Richard." When I got home the day after "The Event" we stayed in bed most of the weekend. Keep your eyes open and look for opportunities. They're there and will be as sexy as y'all make them.

Well, I have two answers to the questions. When I was in my early thirties, my girlfriend and I were seduced by a couple in their forties. It lasted a couple of months, until I broke up with my girlfriend. Why at that time? Well, we were both divorced, looking for fun and new experiences. Then, I got married again (not to that girlfriend), we went a couple of decades until we got in the mood, we started swinging and hotwifing in our mid 50’s. Why then? We were both sexually active before we got married, our kids were grown up, we were getting a little bored with each other and we were mature enough to see that sex with others probably wouldn’t be a problem. (It wasn’t.) Should I have started earlier? It’s not an issue for me, it happened when it happened, when I was ready for it. I’m not a big age guy. I know some couples in their mid-twenties who are mature enough to handle the ups and downs that come with new experiences, I know people that would never be ready mentally regardless of age.

I’m a bit curious as to why some people will not have sex on the first date? Let’s assume you are meeting another couple or a single for a get-to-know-you-drink. Both of you are attracted to the other(s). You just know that you so want to have that second date so you can get naked and play. In that situation, why wouldn’t you just go ahead and play on the first date?

"How 'bout that bull rider at the Rodeo in Tahelquah, Sweetheart?" ["I think these folks would be exciting rides. Wanna fuck 'em?"] "That cowboy really stayed with the bull, buck for buck, Darling! It was exciting!" [Yes, let's.] or "The ones who couldn't stay on for eight seconds, Darling?" [Let's not.]

A great question, C&C There's no set answer, other than do what you like. Talk to each other, and if either starts feeling uncomfortable, stop. A schedule of couples or singles never worked for us, because you have a hard time controlling how busy you get with other things and the availability of the other person or couple. So, if we wanted to play, we found someone. Yes, we had our favorites, and if one of them said "Can you?" our default position was, 'how can we make this happen.' Good luck.

Okay, it seems to me that all the responses here are of the "Yeah, we say no sex on first date, but we might do it if everybody is okay with that." I was looking for a response from someone who is adamant that they wouldn't, no matter what. Thanks for your input though! As far as not knowing what the other one is thinking, my GF and I have clues we can say without anyone knowing what we're talking about. Case 1: One of us likes the situation, and wants to know if the other does. Me: You know, I really liked that bottle of Merlot the other night. (In fact, neither of us likes Merlot. So the mention of it alerts her that I'm interested.) Her (If she agrees that it's on.): Yeah, that was great, we should get another bottle. Her (If she doesn't want to take it further that night): I don't know, I thought it was a little bland. That is, agreement about Merlot is agreement, disagreement is let's-think-about-it. And, of course, she could start the conversation as well as I could. Case 2: Absolutely nothing is going to happen. Either of us: Hey, we haven't been to the zoo in quite some time. Neither of us is wild about the zoo, any mention of it is a wave-off. You can pick your subjects based upon your own lives and desires. It's just got to be something that wouldn't normally come up in conversation.

Agree. If things are good, do it!

Swinging is our hobby, NOT our lifestyle. We enjoy recreational sex yet feel absolutely no obligation to play with a couple just because we've met them for drinks. On the other hand, if we meet a couple and there is a mutual attraction, we don't see any point in NOT playing. WTF, if we wait a week or a month till the stars align again and we all find another time and place to meet, will we/they be better looking? younger? thinner? Not likely! In our experience, there is absolutely no point in NOT acting on initial attraction. We're not looking for a lifetime relationship, we're looking for erotic fun and if it presents itself on the first meeting, why waste an opportunity?

This is right on the money. We've had too many of those moments where we're reaching the end of a first date and someone says, "so, do you want to play?" I mean, I know whether *I* want to but, short of both of us disappearing to the bathroom to talk about it, I've got no idea what she's thinking. It seems a bit rude to have that conversation right in front of the other couple. "Well, what do you think hun?" "I like her/him well enough, but (s)he's just a little too [reason for being disinterested] for my taste." "Hmm, yeah. I guess I can see that. Huh. They look a little offended. Do you think they can hear us?" "Well they are sitting right there, so..."

We thought about some rules before we jumped in. The no kissing rule was talked about, but we said to ourselves it's like going on a date if you like the person, the first base is the kiss. So why would we have that as a rule if we are ok with second or even home run (depending on your swing preference). So that was the first to go. After some more communication. We decided for the basic rules (in our opinion) and that's: same room, we always play together, and condoms are a must. We believe the more rules you set yourselves, the more chances of braking them, and then you have something to hold against each other. A note on the no kissing. We won't play with a couple with that rule. It's to easy to break in the heat of the moment, and we wouldn't want to be the cause of potential drama. But by all means stay at your comfort level. We also researched the LS for many years before jumping in. Best of luck to you both.

Here's mine. My girlfriend and I go to a swing club. We're in the hot tub, and she gets hit on by a guy, decides (with my approval) to go off with him to a private room. While they're doing that, I get dressed and head for the dance floor. There's my ex-wife. She's shown up as a single female. She approaches me, tells me how much she's missed me, that she has to have me right then and there. I tell her to go fuck herself.

It turns me on to see two guys fucking on video, but I've never seen it in real life. I've also never inserted Pet into that fantasy because I know it's something he would never do. Now, if he ever fulfilled my fantasy of seeing him suck a dick... then my new fantasy might be to see him fucking another guy.