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Your response mirrors ours. It's a restaurant, it's early on a Saturday evening, management wants the table back, and going somewhere to continue the conversation makes sense. Keeping options open matters. So here's how we would do it. Sure, head to their place ... or to ours. Choice 1: Travel arrangements: The invitees either need time to talk among themselves, "Can we have your address so we can plug it into the GPS?"; or perhaps the ladies want some time to chat " Alex, why don't you take Bob in our car and Betty, why don't you ride with me? That way, someone in each car knows where we're going." Choice 2: When we get there: "Would you like dessert in the living room? On the patio? In the hot tub?" And so on. Keeping options open eliminates pressure and keeps everyone comfortable.

I think it's important to keep in mind that it's very much a two-way street. While we always like to have swinger friends that we can call up and play, that's not what all swingers want. Some prefer a one-time experience, because after all it's about having sex with different folks. Some may want to keep your number if you hit off for special trips to resorts or cruises. A rotation, after going around a few times, will begin to feel stale,, but I personally like to have swinger friends, regardless of whether it's for some spontaneous play or just chatting about the lifestyle while doing vanilla things. It ultimately depends on what you want out of the lifestyle.

It really has to do with personality types, doesn't it? Some people are impulsive, others are reflective. Same is true for couples. No value judgement either way. Our approach is that the first meeting is in a public place with zero expectations except the opportunity to get to know the other couple and a pleasant meal. The absence of expectations is key--it relaxes the agenda and allows everyone to walk away at the end of a meal. Here then is the question: you've finished the main course, the conversation is lively and fun, and it's 8 pm on a Saturday night. The other couple says "We live a couple of miles away. Would you like to come back to our place for coffee and dessert?" Is that a bid to continue the conversation because everyone seems to be having a good time, or to play?

If it amounted to a bunch of guys whacking off and ejaculating on my late wife's face, she was quick to let folks know she was not interested. Sometimes, though, Laura would remove a spurting cock from her mouth and rub the head on her lips or cheeks just to make the act more outrageous. This attitude was one of the many reasons I loved her so completely.

There have been several threads on this in the past: https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/57341-religion-and-swinging/ https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/40150-christian-swingers/ https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/54819-the-bible-interpreting-it-and-swinging/ There are several more but these are ones that I recall from fairly recent times. Heck, if you do any research about the 'lost books of the Bible' you will find out that there are dozens of books that have been included and excluded from the Bible over time. One other site that I have kept bookmarked is this: Monogamy Isn't Biblical, It's Roman I always wondered why the Old Testament had men marrying multiple wives and then it just stopped in the New Testament. This explains a lot of the why. Bottom line is we both believe in God and are religious, but we also believe that whatever anyone else believes in, as long as it makes them a better person and doesn't hurt others, is a good thing and should be allowed and encouraged. I would hate to be in front of the gates of heaven only to see Buddha or Allah or The Great Spirit was the 'right' God and have Him tell us 'you picked the wrong God...sorry, you are out'. I believe that this won't happen, but at the same time believe that God wouldn't be so religious exclusive (only one 'right' religion and everyone else goes to Hell). Most organized religion teaches 'be a good person and be nice to everyone else'...we do our best to adhere to this although we identify ourselves as Christian. Swinging is something that we do TOGETHER in the light, not behind the back of our SO in the dark. It doesn't 'hurt' either one of us and we do our best not to allow it to hurt anyone else. We don't see where it goes against our 'makes them a better person and doesn't hurt others' belief so we don't have a conflict or issue with the two. We try, as instructed by the Bible, not to judge others and keep our stone casting in check. Sorry, but I was brought up in a strict religious household and I have spent a great deal of time wrestling with this subject. I'll just shut up now...for a few minutes at least.

It is not rotational: it is spontaneous. We will say to each other, "hey, what do you think K and H are doing this weekend?" So we give them a call to see. If they cannot make it, we maybe make a different plan. We maybe decide it is going to be a "vanilla" weekend. We have our favorites but we work hard at making every couple we know believe that "they" are our favorites.

The late Mrs. Alura and I only had one rule, really. "Fuck, Don't Make Love." It was easy because "fun" was the reason we were there. Oops! There was another. When the swapping was over, we would sleep in each others' arms as usual.

Although I'm not "super active", I have been in the group sex scene for 10+ years. The "first time" (oh... those first times are eye openers) was a 3p (MFM) and my girlfriend at that time kind of pushed me into it. Before that "first experience" I was a super jealous guy. Anyways... she was a "girlfriend" but the relationship was on the lighter side and mainly sex so I agreed to try MFM (she had previously done swinging a few times with a former BF). As you can imagine, the "first time" was pretty awkward for me and I guess I was enjoying it... I mean, I was hard and all. Finally I was fucking her missionary style, deep... with her legs pushed back to her tits and she was sucking the other guy, her head to the side. The other guy reached his "over the top moment" pulled out and came on her face. 3 or 4 squirts of thick white cum... covering her face pretty good. I don't know what it was... but at that moment my whole "outlook" on sex changed. I changed from a vanilla, jealous guy to a guy who started to really enjoy and find kinky sex so much fun! I'm thrusting into her looking at her with cum on her face and I'm getting so damn hard! She's opening her mouth and the cum in dripping into her mouth now... yes... I couldn't control myself... I came inside her like I never came before. Its been over a decade since that first time and of course I love LOTS of kinky types of play but Fucking a woman with cum on her face is definitely one of those hot things. Anybody else into this kink?

I’m a bit curious as to why some people will not have sex on the first date? Let’s assume you are meeting another couple or a single for a get-to-know-you-drink. Both of you are attracted to the other(s). You just know that you so want to have that second date so you can get naked and play. In that situation, why wouldn’t you just go ahead and play on the first date?

Well, let's also not forget the influence of Augustine of Hippo, a notorious sex fiend by his own accounts (read his Confessions) who was also instrumental in enshrining the whole "sex is evil" into Christian dogma, simply because he couldn't keep it in his pants and felt guilty about it. Paul and Augustine, two of the top historical figures I would very like to punch in the face.

It's basically right on point, as Alura mentions. The gap in time between the Old Testament and the New Testament is several thousand years, and raising legitimate offspring with a single official wife in the Hellenic tradition was the ambient social norm in the time of Jesus - although the use of female slaves and the keeping of concubines was routine. The Church went on to officially tolerate wife-snatching, sex slavery, and concubinage until well into the Middle Ages. Even then, people scoffed.

Generally it seems like FWB couples will either have one or more couples in a 'rotation' while other couples are 'one and done'. It all depends on what you are looking for and want. There is no 'right' way, there is only 'your' way meaning whatever you both decide to do.

I always assumed this was just a porn thing. I'd be interested in hearing how the wife feels about this. If you manage to pull it off, I'd love to hear how you managed.

My wife and I often do. But that is owing only to the fact that we'd had twelve years of experience in meeting prospective play mates. We have developed something like ESP and seldom any longer need to go home and discuss the whole business. Play on the first date is difficult for beginners. I would, in fact, not recommend it to beginners.

Thank you for the nice words and encouragement. We did have a rough start but met a very nice couple. We still hang out and chat with them. It just got too consuming and frustrating trying to meet new folks. We actually put 1 pic back on SLS this weekend. We are going to approach replies and conversation differently now. Thanks to everyone for helpful replies.

Generally, I think our only real rule is that condoms are required for penetration. There are a lot of things we don't do... obviously no kids, no animals, nothing nonconsenual, etc but I don't consider those rules so much as basic ethics. These are things no one should do. Other things we don't do are matters of preference, like my wife doesn't do anal or have sex with women because she those aren't things she enjoys. Again, I don't consider those rules, they're just matters of preference.

At that point we would take it as both. But we still wouldn't feel pressure to play, and we are getting along, so we would probably go (that to us is a natural flow) Now if they would phrase that same question to "do you want to play" We would decline as now there is some pressure and expectations. Funny how the way a couple brings it up can change the outcome of a date.

This is right on the money. We've had too many of those moments where we're reaching the end of a first date and someone says, "so, do you want to play?" I mean, I know whether *I* want to but, short of both of us disappearing to the bathroom to talk about it, I've got no idea what she's thinking. It seems a bit rude to have that conversation right in front of the other couple. "Well, what do you think hun?" "I like her/him well enough, but (s)he's just a little too [reason for being disinterested] for my taste." "Hmm, yeah. I guess I can see that. Huh. They look a little offended. Do you think they can hear us?" "Well they are sitting right there, so..."

We actually have that in our profile. To be honest we have discussed this, and the main reason we have it is to eliminate expectations from another couple (mainly the sport swingers) It also makes us feel less pressure when going on a 1st date (For both couples). We also know that if we really hit it off, and if it so happens naturally then we are ok with playing on a 1st date. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable going on a first date knowing that it's a no pressure couple? We do.

As a wild wife, I can honestly say that if a guy has got a fucking great cock, I like to suck it, but also due to my voyeuristic nature, love to see someone else enjoy it as well. That's why Dave and I embrace our Bi sides... But in answer to the question, it helps to get to know a couple first and what they like and any expectations. .We are straight forward with others and ask if they like same sex play, ass play, and other party favorites like BDSM, filming, etc. This way there are no doubts, but if a guy wants to suck my hubby or vice versa, I welcome it.

As one half of a couple that is open, uninhibited and without jealousies, I found my Bi side again after meeting my Bi wife, who has a love of seeing same sex activities. When I met her, I had done some adult films in college, including gay films for some great money, but still considered myself straight. Laura had the same love of group sex that I did, and we both got together with other couples, and I would suck cock if the opportunity presented itself. When she first shared a guy's cum with me, it shifted my thinking to one of "what the fuck?" If it feels good, go with it, so we both enjoy a good pussy, ass and cock in our play.

It's been said over and over that swinging puts a magnifying glass on your relationship. If things are great, they can get greater. But if things aren't so good, they will get worse. I'd not recommend you find another couple to play with, but instead cancel any future notions of swinging until you and your partner dissect why his attitude is the way it is. If you can come to a satisfactory conclusion and resolution you can gradually discuss returning to the lifestyle, but not at all with this couple. In the end you should both have an interest in the other's enjoyment. In some activities we willingly tag along for our partner's benefit even if we aren't quite as interested (I've sat through two Jimmy Buffet concerts, while Mrs. Stop agreed to go to Van Halen on Valentine's Day one year). But swinging isn't one of them. If you can't agree to make sure both are having a good time, then a different hobby would better suit the two of you.

Wow! I enjoyed the LS for 35 years with 3 partners (not at the same time...lol). If any of these wonderful three women had at any time: 1) ignored me and not tried to include me 2) as you said...''had a could not give a shit attitude the next day'' I would have put a loud stop to any kind of swinging immediately and would have told her that her actions and her attitude was making me reconsider the existence of the primary relationship...ours! My partners always knew that I do not believe in the bullshit excuses like, got carried away, booze, etc...if she did not remember at all times that just like she was always number one for me, I expected to be number one for her, than maybe it was time to find another partner. We're educated, intelligent adults saying we love each other, lets put some actions behind those words.

I've heard it qualified that "physical relations" can be sorted into three categories: making love, having sex, and FUCKING. We in the lifestyle might be able to add a fourth, recreational, but where the first three are all linked fairly directly to emontional the fourth tends to avoid messy emotional attachment for obvious reasons. While each individual might have their own preference as to their specific flavor, "hard and fast" tends to gravitate towards fucking or recreational sex because those two subcategories tend to be more selfish styles of physicality simply due to the goals: even gentlemen who swing or participate in LS choices can be construed as "selfish" because getting a partner off sometimes can be the most selfish thing you can do. I personally love getting a woman off for the sense of accomplishment and have had skewed ratios nearly all my life. If my partner or partners has 4 to my one I'm a happy camper. Stylisitically, it makes sense to have familiarity and capability in all four fashions; especially in our lifestyle. That being said; physical limitations, emotional limitations, synchronicity, personality, and simple preferences will affect everything. I've had the absolute best time with partners that upon first inspection would be absolutely no fun at all, and then I've had the deadest fucks ever out of the stereotypical "hot girls" who simply lie there. Had one lady friend in my younger years who (thankfully only a couple of times because I ended it due to the oddity of it) who make neither eye contact nor let me "look at her" because she was embarassed of the faces that she made. Wasn't a good time. Have fun, experiment, and most importantly communicate with perspective partners. Chemistry leads the pack - good luck and good swinging!

MyLabBox.com is an STI testing service that allows you to collect a sample at home and then be tested by an accredited lab. Results are quickly and confidentially available through their website. The tests can be ordered on Amazon or direct from their website. Please use this MyLabBox link to support The Swinger’s Board! There are several options including HIV, Chlamydia/Gonorrhea (genital or combination oral, genital and anal), and Trichomoniasis. The ordering process is very simple through the MyLabBox website. Registration and confirmation that you are over 18 is required by law for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea testing. HIV testing is not limited by age. The Chlamydia/Gonorrhea and Trich tests are vaginal swabs (female) or urine tests (male). Transgender individuals should order the test that corresponds with their genitalia. If you have a vagina you should order the female kit, which is slightly more accurate than the male urine kit. HIV testing is a blood drop test which is more accurate than saliva testing offered by other companies. The test I am reviewing is the female Chlamydia/Gonorrhea test. I received a promotional copy of this product to provide an unbiased review. The regular cost was $79 and included shipping. I received the test in 2 days. It was shipped in a standard brown box with a return address of MyLabBox. The test sample should be sent the same day it is taken. A postage paid, addressed Priority Mail envelope is included so you just need to put it in your mailbox, a postal service blue box or drop it off at a local post office. The testing is very simple and painless. Be sure to read the instructions carefully, fill out the requisition sheet and label the sample bottle. I would recommend using a fine point Sharpie pen for this. My ball point pen did not work well on the label. Put the sample back in the box, and put the box and paperwork in the envelope. The whole process takes less than five minutes. I mailed my sample Monday afternoon. At 3am on Thursday I received an email letting me know my results were available. I logged into the website using the account and password I created to register. I was slightly annoyed because on the results page they have a survey about the experience right at the top, so you have to scroll down to find the results. It seems like they should put the results right at the top. The results are clearly marked as negative or positive. If you like you can download and print a PDF with the results that includes your identification, lab information, results, and date. There are clear directions at the top of the screen indicating you should see your healthcare provider if you have a non-negative or positive result. They also indicate that if the results are not negative they will call you to discuss the result and provide a phone number if you want to call. My results were negative so I did not have any phone interaction with MyLabBox. MyLabBox does offer consultation with a medical doctor and an STI counselor if you test positive. In some states they are able to call in a prescription for treatment. If you test positive your state health department is notified of a positive result. This is required by law. As compared to the amount of time making an appointment, waiting, and being tested at my doctor’s office, this was a breeze! This is not a substitute for a yearly exam that includes a pap test, pelvic and breast exam. But, it is an excellent way to be tested for STI’s if you want to test more than once a year. I do feel that if you have any symptoms (pain, lesions, unusual discharge or smell) you should see a medical professional for an exam and testing. Another neat feature is that you can order gift cards so you can pay to have your partner(s) tested and they will get their own tests and results. As part of this review I’d like to share a story from personal experience and a comparison. A few years ago a friend called to tell us he had tested positive for Chlamydia. This person’s wife was my husband’s swing partner. They do use condoms for intercourse. I do not play with the person affected but had played with people who are also partners of the positive individual. My husband and I are fluid bonded. I decided even though the likelihood of being infected was low, the best course of action would be for both my husband and myself to get tested. After 20 minutes on the phone to make an appointment, an hour and a half at the office, and an explanation of my lifestyle to the doctor covering for my regular doctor, I was tested for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. My husband had to take off work for his appointment. We each spent $30 on the copay and $150 for the lab work because our insurance had a deductible. It took a full week to get results, which thankfully were negative. This is an instance when MyLabBox could have saved us time and money. I think MyLabBox is a great option for simple STI testing in the swing and poly community. The tests are discreet, simple, painless, quick and cost effective. Testing by mail is not a substitute for a yearly medical exam and testing, but is perfect for a 3 or 6 month check, when there is a low risk encounter that you might be concerned about or before fluid bonding with poly partners. I have received a promotional copy of this product to provide my unbiased review. If you are inclined to purchase testing through MyLabBox please use this MyLabBox link to support The Swinger’s Board!