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We decided to check out a hotel party near us last Saturday. It was a new group, so we didn't really know what to expect. I'll tell you what we didn't expect, though... We're standing in line at the bar right after we arrive. The host comes over and introduces himself. "Hey. I'm so-and-so. I'm the host." Then, from behind me my wife says, "Oh, this is awkward." Awkward? He's confused. I'm confused. Until... I turn around to see her standing right in front of her boss. Well, we're all adults. We're all there for the same thing. So we acknowledged the awkwardness, exchanged brief small talk, then all went about enjoying the party. Separately. Some bridges you don't cross. The first time in 10 years of swinging that we've ever run into someone we know in vanilla life. Frankly, I can't believe it didn't happen sooner. So, I guess it does actually happen.

I love watching my wife fucking another guy. It's one of favorite aspects of swinging. I like to watch and she loves to perform for an audience. We've had times where I watch and she plays and I fuck her afterward. We've done threesomes, where the other guy and I play with her together. We've had times were she and I play and other people watch. We've had times when she goes out and plays by herself then comes home and tells me all the details while she and I play. Lots of fun all around. In short, there are a lot of options in swinging and very little "normal." What is key is making sure that everyone involved understands the rules, expectations and boundaries and abides by them in good faith.

Over the centuries the Christian church , both denominational and non-denominational, is a business. Avery big business. The product they sell is salvation. Their marketing is based on the tried and true reward and fear concepts used by so many successful businesses. To get buy in by their customers they establish rues which are aimed at controlling the customer. The price they charge is based on customer income and not their cost of goods. Since males have historically controlled the income, males have been treated better than females. Not to mention males set up the rules. The church's attitude about sex is just part of these controlling rules. Setting aside the "Church", what does it mean to be a Christian? I believe there are a few simple rules in the teaching of Jesus. In terms of human interaction, the primary one we know as the Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have them do to you. The LS conforms to this rule. In my opinion there is nothing unchristian in practicing the Lifestyle.

Hi all. My wife and I don't swing (yet) but we have talked about it a decent amount. She's had more partners before getting married than I did and sometimes talks about how she misses random hookups at bars. It really turns me on thinking of her fucking another guy and I think I'd be ok with it. Those husbands that have done this, have you been in the same room watching? Did you take part or just observe? Just curious about what's normal or not.

It is super sexy seeing your wife with someone else, I have never sat back and just watched. I have always participated in the action, we have only did MFM 2 times but both were very enjoyable. My wife was so turned on that when we tried dp she took the other guys dick in her ass so easily. But we also role play her with other guys at home. I write spicy sex stories for her and then I blind fold her while she rides the dildo and I read her the story she had some good orgasms

I agree with the OP, there is no 'normal'. In fact, it's one of our least favorite words. We have done MFM vs MFMF at about a 10:1 ratio over the years. I enjoy watching her and I generally join in during playtime. Just recently, at a club, she was with a large number of guys over the course of an evening. Nothing quite like Mrs. Vaitape asking a guy that had just come up to us to 'Do you want to fuck me?'. What fun.

Consider: If a man received a message from a woman "interested" accompanied by a picture of a big, harry snatch, he would reply immediately, "yea, let's do it!" Now some (inexperienced and clueless) guys seem to think that women generally have the same reaction to the image of a hairy dick. Men are from Mars; woman are from Venus.

Trapeze is totally safe. Lots of non-participating staff and security, and the club is located in a pretty comfortable part of town. The food is actually pretty good, with dinner as you arrive and breakfast at midnight. If you never leave the front, it's basically just a dance club. If you go in the back area, you must be nude or in a towel. Even in the back areas there were definitely couples who were there only as exhibitionists or voyeurs. At the same time it's definitely a swing club, so expect to be approached. A simple, "No thanks. We're not playing tonight." should suffice when you are. And go on a Saturday. Single men aren't allowed, which should cut down on some of that noise.

Very much so. At church pretty much every Sunday when we aren't out of town at a club or party, about once a month.

Is the other couple experienced at this? Whatever the road block is, it's not her. It's not at all abnormal, in our culture, to have a hard time getting it up to have sex with someone else's wife while he's watching.

It happens sometimes. there are other ways to have sex. Penetration does not have to be the goal.

And not the good kind of bondage...

51! The first time was all me, and fantastic! I didn't even know the term. When I finally talked / researched / watched porn and some selective toys I was able to (on camera) squirt big time and I was astounded! I had always came right to the edge and would panic and back away because, at first, it is the sensation you get when you pee. Then with a bit of coaching my hubby succeeded in making me squirt. He was wide eyed and totally turned on, as was I! He had a better view than me though! Makes me wish I was younger, but then I wouldn't have him!

As a woman, I'd say both, just depends on the chemistry. As a 53 year old woman (how the hell did that happen?! ) I didn't know my body until my third and current husband, who has shared the past six years with me. I suppose age, empty nest, swinging and being nude every moment I can has much to do with it, but sex is an awesome event! I no longer panic and back away and we are into serious foreplay, and I've even started to squirt! We have noticed many in the lifestyle don't want to participate in foreplay, the want to fuck, fast & hard, which, like I said is OK too, I just wonder how many are missing some fantastic orgasms because they are unaware.

It's basically right on point, as Alura mentions. The gap in time between the Old Testament and the New Testament is several thousand years, and raising legitimate offspring with a single official wife in the Hellenic tradition was the ambient social norm in the time of Jesus - although the use of female slaves and the keeping of concubines was routine. The Church went on to officially tolerate wife-snatching, sex slavery, and concubinage until well into the Middle Ages. Even then, people scoffed.

There have been several threads on this in the past: https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/57341-religion-and-swinging/ https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/40150-christian-swingers/ https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/54819-the-bible-interpreting-it-and-swinging/ There are several more but these are ones that I recall from fairly recent times. Heck, if you do any research about the 'lost books of the Bible' you will find out that there are dozens of books that have been included and excluded from the Bible over time. One other site that I have kept bookmarked is this: Monogamy Isn't Biblical, It's Roman I always wondered why the Old Testament had men marrying multiple wives and then it just stopped in the New Testament. This explains a lot of the why. Bottom line is we both believe in God and are religious, but we also believe that whatever anyone else believes in, as long as it makes them a better person and doesn't hurt others, is a good thing and should be allowed and encouraged. I would hate to be in front of the gates of heaven only to see Buddha or Allah or The Great Spirit was the 'right' God and have Him tell us 'you picked the wrong God...sorry, you are out'. I believe that this won't happen, but at the same time believe that God wouldn't be so religious exclusive (only one 'right' religion and everyone else goes to Hell). Most organized religion teaches 'be a good person and be nice to everyone else'...we do our best to adhere to this although we identify ourselves as Christian. Swinging is something that we do TOGETHER in the light, not behind the back of our SO in the dark. It doesn't 'hurt' either one of us and we do our best not to allow it to hurt anyone else. We don't see where it goes against our 'makes them a better person and doesn't hurt others' belief so we don't have a conflict or issue with the two. We try, as instructed by the Bible, not to judge others and keep our stone casting in check. Sorry, but I was brought up in a strict religious household and I have spent a great deal of time wrestling with this subject. I'll just shut up now...for a few minutes at least.

You are not going to get an answer here. You will get a few people's opinion. To find a real answer you might want to check out the academic work on the subject. For the most part we are not academic researchers here with all the answers. �� O

Translation from Single Guy to English... "1) A woman I like is dating a guy I don't like and won't date me. 2) I think I'm a gentleman but women don't. 3) Women won't jump into bed with me. 4) Women won't cheat on their boyfriends with me. 5) Women won't gave group sex with me. 6) Women don't have the kind of sex with me that I think they should want. 7) Women won't jump into bed with me, pt 2. 8) Women think I'm creepy. 9) Women won't jump into bed with me, pt 3. 10) Women won't jump into bed with me, pt 4. Swinger women will just jump into bed with me, so swinger women must be smarter than regular women because I'm so great. Why can't more women be like swinger women?" I have a hunch that the problem here isn't with the women.

I think before you can understand an answer to your question, you have to really understand women. You're not there yet. You also seem to write off any answer people give you that you don't like. Let experience answer this question for you bc apparently no one here can.

See? Now you are doing it again. You may try to not make any generalizations, but you fail in trying. In your view of this world, all (?) the married (?!) woman go for the decent biker. Besides, you don't see the point I was making: why talk negatively about bikers? I honestly don't know why you brought that into the discussion but for me it underlines how you try to put everything of life in separate boxes. But I say this on this board many times per day: things are not always black and white.

Seeing as you are single, SwingAcademic, it doesn't surprise me that you have no clue as to the complexity of what swinging does for both the couple's relationship as well as the individuals within that relationship. I have always held the belief that the majority of single women and men have a much harder time understanding the couple dynamic that takes part in swinging unless they themselves had experienced prior to being a single in the LS. Swinging isn't the epitome of sexuality but it does serve a purpose for those who want to safely have certain sexual experiences that they previously thought had to stay as "fantasies". I can only speak for myself but when I was much, much younger, I would entertain many types of fantasies, one of them being MFM threesomes and gangbangs. The only time I had heard of women actually engaging in such activities were in porn and I thought it was just something that only happened in porn or those who were rich and famous. The thought of someone normal, overweight, and average looking, like myself, engaging in such activities was preposterous. As for your comments about "hand holding" and your stereotyping of "bikers"...please stop. It's offensive. I believe you've had a few answers to your questions but you continue to dismiss them. Why is it so bad for women to want to explore their sexuality and fantasies later in life? Is it that hard for you to believe that a lot of women have to break out of certain religious, social, and economic constructs in order to determine that they can do what they want sexually? Perhaps this is a question you won't really understand unless you were reborn as a woman.

I find your generalizations tiring and not very academic, for instance (to pick one of the many generalizations), I know a few 'bikers' (1% etc) and some have the same pov regarding women as I do. And some are assholes.

Perhaps your opening line should read... Amongst the single women that I seem to attract, many times they do some or all of the following things: Firstly if it really bothers you I would look at the common denominator. Secondly to answer your question. When a woman gets married she shares herself, emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally with her partner and it's usually because she trusts and loves him and is loved and trusted back. It's called intimacy.

Hmmmm - devil's advocate here... Why do single men generally treat women like a piece of meat to be devoured and not a dessert intended to be savored and enjoyed? Why do single men chase women only to not call us after they get in our pants? Who do men who get sex early on or the first date determine that she's not relationship material and lacks respect for herself if she puts out right away? Why do men wine and dine us ladies and lead us to believe that a low libido or general disinterest in sex is ok - only to then get married and complain or cheat when they aren't getting enough sex? Why do men think that an orgy or fmf threesome is the hottest thing in the world? Why do single men take women out on dates, buy them gifts, and treat them nicely if he's not really willing to invest the time to get to know her...and then resent her for his own impatience? Why do men blame the lady for dragging things out - when men have the ability to find a woman who is more suited to his sexual speed and appetite? Why do single men need to conquer women - adding one more notch in their bedpost? See how easily that all can get turned around? As a woman who has been single - and married - and now happily in a relationship - I can tell you men chase us, get creepy, want to jump right into sex, hurt us emotionally, and then call us bitches or gold diggers when we want to wait to form a bond before sex. Sorry, struck a nerve with me right there. Signed - a sexually adventurous woman who puts out on the first date.

I have always found it curious that the position of giving oral sex is considered the more submissive. For me it can be either and usually find it dominant to be sucking. The man being sucked is completely under your control, if you suck at all well. He is the one that loses control and cums to your ministrations. Yes, guys can get aggressive and fuck your mouth, which can be a turn-on or turn-off. If I'm not into being fucked in the mouth at the moment, the guy trying quickly gets the message that the sucker is truly dominant. The most submissive I've ever felt was in a DP with my wife. I was on the bottom in my wife's pussy with her facing me and the other guy in her ass. It felt completely as if he were fucking both of us. I didn't move, yet I could not help cumming quickly from the delicious feeling of him rubbing against my cock, fucking me. Have never tried anal sex with a man because it would have to be the right one whether I was fucking or being fucked. I would like to explore both, the dominant and the submissive. Both are exploring sex and there is so much to explore.

Wow, that kind of surprises me that this fantasy is so common that the sex therapist says it is considered normal sexual fantasy behavior! I guess it's not the kind of thing most guys bring up to there best buds over beers! It stands to reason...it is not so much socially acceptable to say that is your fantasy as compared to saying you want to share your wife with another girl, or that you want to fuck 2 girls at the same time, which I have several friends, if not all my friends, say to me throughout my life!