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To me, this is a pretty huge red flag and should be addressed before you continue with the lifestyle. Honestly, 2 months wouldn't be enough time for most people to repair the damage of an affair. I'm not saying you can't do in that amount of time, but I could feel from your post that you and your wife clearly aren't on the same page. If it was me, I'd pump the breaks and work on the both of you before jumping into swinging. I think you'll find from a lot of the other users that success in the lifestyle REQUIRES a strong foundation.

RTC, As I said we have gone to Swingers clubs and resorts a number of times, and have never run into anyone like AR1547. Everyone is overly nice. We have actually made friends that we have stayed in touch with at these clubs. They were full swap lifestylers and know we don't play. AR1547, can you list the clubs and resorts that you hang out in, so we all know where not to go.

The men are the only ones who text and only to each other. This other couple isn't swinging, they want your wife to cheat. Don't even bother with telling them goodbye and block their number. As for photos. On the rare occasions that we take pictures, we allow the other guy to take them with our camera (thus insuring that if they don't want her face included, it won't be).

Cheating is not swinging. I agree with megabyte, you both need to slow down and work on your relationship before continuing (especially her). Swinging is not for everyone and it may not be for you, but cheating usually doesn't work for anyone (other than those doing the cheating).

WOW... AR1547 So much for the nicest, open minded people. So glad we didn't see this prior to jumping in the LS. You sure are scary, and hope we never run into you. At least try and couch your negativism within a helpful, if negative, answer.

We just do not take X rated pictures of ourselves and we do not permit others to take them. We are all one click away from being an internet sensation (disappointment?).

Wife and I had our first FFM. It went even better than expected!Met the girl at a bar...she was a 10 and at least 12 years younger than me. Very secretive and only gave us her nickname, which was fine...she was being safe. 30 minutes of chit chat and back to our place. I was extremely nervous that I would not be able take care of two girls...but I rocked it! Wife is not bi or into girls, but she happily agreed to use a double dildo with the girl. One of the best sexual experiences of our lives! We hope she gets back to us to do it again.

My advice: Have nothing further to do with this couple. Block them. Cut off all contact. Do not reply to any messages. Full stop. This is not normal or acceptable behavior in swinging circles, or any circles for that matter.

Your relationship with this other couple is completely off the rails. There are widely accepted protocols in the lifestyle. One, play together as a couple until you are very experienced. We are moderately experienced and we never play without the other partner in the same place. Second, you have to communicate and work together as a team. No separate communicating or texting. If one of you likes one member of a couple and the other one of you do not like the other, that's the end of your couples play. Maybe one of you can get together with the liked one at a house party, but unlikely. Offering money sounds like prostitution. I know you are in Vegas, but you should lose this couple and read this site to learn the "norms" of swinging.

Just an update. We've talked and Sun and Moon you hit it on the head. What I've learned from this is he feels more than I give him credit for. We've adjusted our play rules and are choosing to grow from this. thanks everyone for your input. It is greatly appreciated.

We are in the closet. I think that most people in the lifestyle are. It is not well understood in the real world and I'd rather not explain it.

You're in the majority. Our adult children know. Others know. But neither of us have employment requiring a security clearance. We hold no high political office nor do we get up on TV pulpits preaching brimstone and Hellfire for those who sin.

Unfortunately it happens. It's happened to me as well. It's not her by any means. When it happened to me, I assured the gentleman that he would have fun regardless. Asked him how I could make him relax and kept it light. In no time, it wasn't a problem anymore. It's a psychological issue more than anything. I am sure that has been said already. Sometimes our bodies just don't behave the way we'd like them to. Don't let it worry you sugar. I know, so much easier said than done.

Response to AR1547....Well excuse me!!! I find your response totally inappropriate, unhelpful and uncalled for. My wife and I are new to this and are only interested in voyeurism and exhibitionism at this point. In the future, who knows? Baby steps. Everyone has to start somewhere, you did! If the goal of your post was to scare newbies off, great job! I have found all of the people on this site to be very helpful, supportive, kind and quite nice, except one. Here's hoping I run into you at a club where we can have a rational, respectful, and informative conversation about this. Just saying...

Dude chill, the OP asked a question, to answer that question isn’t a love fest it’s what the forum is for. If there is an aspect that they should be made aware of tell them, don’t go off like a psychopath. If somebody is causing you problem in a club, tell that person about your problem. If somebody comes on here and asks a question then just tell them what activity you find a problem with. What you don’t do is threaten then, belittle them, and cuss them out for asking a question. We were all new to this at one point in our lives. Being new means that you don’t know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. I just wish that back when we started this activity they had a site like this where we could have come to ask the questions we had.

Even if the OP has no intention of becoming a swinger the obvious anger, repeated vulgarity and insults are not called for.

Any suggestions? Yes: Tell her what you just told us. Listen to what she says in response. Talk it out and see where things go.

You are not making a mountain out of a mole hill. From what you have described, you have interpreted the situation correctly. You should not, however, reject the notion of meeting couples who have non-traditional relationships. My wife and I know may such couples. Some of the not-married couples we know seem to have relationships more secure and healthier that some of our married friends' relationships. Post script: Your husband should come here to read the many, many posts here at Swingersboard where members say that swing is a team sport. If there is anything making one of the team members uncomfortable, the other team members should show sufficient respect to modify a stance.

hi. Hope you had a great time. Waiting for an update of your night