Leaderboard

I have to say I find this post a little bit disturbing, as if it is written by someone in the middle of an emotional crisis or a psychotic break. Do you need help? Or maybe I am just not understanding this post? I am too new to these forums to really know what is a normal post I guess...no judgement intended. Just concern, having a background in recognizing signs and symptoms of distress.

Your examples are serial killers and crime statistics? OK, we can agree that men commit 80.4% of violent crimes. However, the percentage of violent crimes to the total population is, if I have calculated this correctly, 0.4%... if 80.4% of those are committed by men, we have roughly 0.3% of the total population are male violent criminals. Not 98%. Not 90%. Not 80%. 0.3% of the total population (based 2013 US violent crime statistics). Two takeaways here... Most people aren't violent criminals and inflammatory statistics don't impress data analysts. Sound you use caution when meeting new people? Of course you should. You should look both ways before crossing the street. You should bring an umbrella if it looks like rain. You should use a condom. However, there is a big difference between reasonable caution and fear.

I'll admit to being a sensitive Snowflake. But why do you have to point out the weak link and make one out of four people feel that they are the reason this foursome will not continue? Why not say we are all not a match and leave it at that. Honesty sounds nice but not at expense of unnecessarily hurting feelings. We are careful not to pin the tail on the donkey.

I appreciate your honesty. But just because you can take rejection well doesn't mean the vast majority can. Why not be caring in this situation and think of others? If they are thick skinned like you, then they would probably ask why, and then I would agree to give them the honest reasons. If they take it personal... well they shouldn't have asked. But at least you gave them an option. My husband would probably agree with you, but I tend to be more caring of others feelings.

Boorish behavior is all too common. "No thank you" without further comment or explanation suffices. "You (plural) are not a match for us (plural)" is equally direct. Yet let us offer an aside. Expectations change, interests change, and people change. How one handles rejection can be a most important aspect of a first impression. Rejection is part of vanilla life and part of the LS. So many people handle it badly, either getting angry or getting hurt. People who handle rejection well are sufficiently rare that they are memorable--and they are remembered. On more than one occasion--both in vanilla life and in the LS--we've heard, "you know, you're not a fit for {us|this job|this company|this party}, but we know {this couple|this opportunity|this group} that we think you might find fun or rewarding or...". And on more than one occasion, an initial "no thank you" gets followed up at some point with a "how about...". Yes, it's a rough crowd out there. Handling rejection well takes class and shows class. With fair frequency it catapults one to the head of the class.

I disagree with the above comment. We feel honesty and politeness go hand in hand. By telling the other wife that it's not you but your wife. That puts your wife in a bad spot, and consider that selfish on your part. No reason to give an explanation, other then we are no longer interested. I would hate it if my husband would blame me for not wanting to play anymore. Yea it's the truth but why hurt someone's feelings when there's other ways. Just giving my 2 cents.

I love watching my wife fucking another guy. It's one of favorite aspects of swinging. I like to watch and she loves to perform for an audience. We've had times where I watch and she plays and I fuck her afterward. We've done threesomes, where the other guy and I play with her together. We've had times were she and I play and other people watch. We've had times when she goes out and plays by herself then comes home and tells me all the details while she and I play. Lots of fun all around. In short, there are a lot of options in swinging and very little "normal." What is key is making sure that everyone involved understands the rules, expectations and boundaries and abides by them in good faith.

As Chicup stated, a lot of guys who list themselves as "straight" are fronting, mostly because of the stigma even in the LS of Bi or Bi-curious guys. I find that even if you see a male listed as straight in the top, you have to read through the entire profile and 9 times out of 10 if they are being deceptive, there will be hints that things might not be as they appear. One example, the most common one I see, might be the couple emphasizes again elsewhere that the male is straight, but then adds he is "open-minded" or maybe "not closed-minded". Another interpretation I think might be "He is straight, but not homophobic" (I mean why even add that as anyone willing to be doing sex acts in a room with other naked men is going to be comfortable being around other dicks even if they have no interest in interacting with said genitals?). I list my status as straight and that is the only way I will conduct myself with other men, yet at the same time I have no problem being with a couple where the male is listed as Bi as long as he understands my status is not subject to exceptions. This has not always worked out in the past, as we had to break it off with one couple because the guy, I guess figuring that the our willingness to play with a bi-male somehow really meant I was not completely straight, kept trying to push his luck and as a result got neither me, of course, or the full swap he wanted from Mrs. Fours.