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We had a chance to talk last night. Actually went really well. Turns out,the reason for the silence was due to her being afraid of hurting my feelings. Ironic, because I was trying to get her to open up about hers. Seems we were both worried the other. A little background. Years ago the wife had curiosity about other women. The opportunity came when a lady friend came on to her. I was there and encouraged her to go for it. Over months it developed into a few foursomes so the husbands wouldn't feel left out. Flash forward 10 years. I still support her being with other women to satisfy her bi side. I can't satisfy it. I don't have the anatomy for it. Unicorns are rare so most of that satisfaction comes from foursomes.and that is where we are now. Like I said, my frustration was that she wouldn't talk about it. She would just go along. Last night when we talked she revealed that one her reasons for doing it was to make me happy. And here I am doing it to make her happy. We both enjoy it anyway. So with that out in the open, we can just do it just because it's fun. She agreed to try to be more open about her feelings toward sex. The only thing she still wants to hold back is her fantasies. She thinks I will be freaked out by how weird they are. That just makes me more interested to hear them. Oh well. One step at a time. In summery, I think we took a big step forward in our relationship. Time will tell for sure.. Thanks for everyone's help

It's great to see couples trying to talk and open up - So the advice from others is true, but i would try a diffrent way if that does not help. 1st talk when you have had a few days after the event - this gives time to process ( for her ) the whole thing. Also while you want details your 1st problem is the "why" she does not talk about playing that much. this could be a boundary or a feeling of ( what ever it may be ) So try this - bring up the why and fix that if you can before trying for details. So my long winded explanation i would say some thing to the effect like Hey honey i was thinking about our play times and you know i'd love to here your thoughts on it, Then i realized you don't like to talk about it as much as i do - and that got me wondering why is that ? you know i don't want to put you into something you feel you can not say no to. ( use your own words lol ) Then in your our words continue the conversation to where ever it may lead. don't try for details what you are doing is showing you care for your wife, building trust and communication. all things that will lead you to the eventual talking on details. you need to reassure her in the way you normally do that what ever the problem is that stops her opening up is ok and you are not her judge but her partner in this. Al this may take time but i think it will help. keep us updated and good luck to both of you.

Some bareback players tell us that they go bareback with nice people or people they like or trust. Viruses don't use that criteria.

Only you know all of the details and if you decide to go for it, then that's up to you. IN GENERAL and on the average, most of the time regular friends do not seem to make the best playmates. If you are already in kind of a swinger oriented group, then you are already kind of all swingers who are friends. Bottom line is it will always be your (you and your SO) call. Let us know what you decide and what happens...

We wear our seat belts when in the car (always have even before it was required) not because we expect to get into an accident, but for the protection they do provide. Even with crumple zones, air bags and seat belts, people are still killed in car crashes. Does this mean we shouldn't ever wear seat belts? We only drive our car in good neighborhoods and around nice people so it should be okay not to wear them? In addition to the protection condoms provide (although how much protection has been argued), they also provide an emotional protection. Others can have her to enjoy, but I'm the only one allowed to cum inside her without a condom. That keeps a boundary in place that they aren't allowed (and the same is true for any women I may be with). It's an intimacy that only the two of us share together.

Yep time to say stop ( for now anyway ) Your husband still loves you - but the new toys are so much fun - so how long have you guys been together? and out of that time how long before you started playing with others? I think what is going on is that he ( like many other husbands and wives ) is taking you for granted - your last post really shows it. It's not that he does not love you or anything - he just thinks it will be all ok and your not really going to stop so he wants all he can get. ( selfish behavior ) What happens to little kids that will not share and hog all the candy? Time to put your foot down and hard to snap him out of it i think. Best of luck.

Thank you. It was not a small step for us, and to tell it, I had to fast-forward through all the near-misses it took to get to the one who tried to chat up Mrs. E, caught on to the existence of Mr. E, and didn't just run away. This makes Mrs. E's third male play partner since we started, and yes, really her first "one night stand". She's still not ready to try the club scene. I feel like that's a next step for us. She's feeling more in her own skin and like playing with photography again so it might work out to get out in a public setting.

My answer stays the same: I will add that I think you both need to put swinging on indefinite hold. It sounds like either you and/or your relationship isn't ready for this. It's not a bad thing, just a thing. Some people are just not cut out for this. Either way, it sounds like there are still trust issues that need to be improved upon (not you trusting him but just needing more trust and security in your relationship in general). Talk to him and tell him you BOTH need to take a break. This couple has been a problem since the beginning and you both keep going back to the same well and wonder why the water doesn't taste different. Quit doing the same things but expecting a different outcome.

I would consider trying again if I liked the guy or was attracted to him but I'm not really feeling it I'm beginning to struggle with this lifestyle more and more I really enjoy the idea of it I just fear that my husband is to one track mind for this to be successful I think he gets carried away and forget about me and my feelings For a follow up one night my hubby and I were getting it on I was dressed like a naughty school girl n riding him we had taken a break for a sec and he got a text message from the guy Apparently the guy had texted him early and asked what we were doing n the hubby had said we were about to get t on and the guy asked if his wife could join us cause he was at work and would love pics and wanted pics of the wife going down on me ( she never played with a girl) So the hubby asked me if it was ok if she came over ( I didn't want her to come over we were having a good time already it was a work night it was 1030pm and we always said we wouldn't play with others in our bed) but he was very eager n I could tell by his tone he wanted it bad so I said yes he got so excited So she came over as soon as the door was closed he was making out with her He kissed me to than I kissed her he touched my Pusey a little than started fingering her grabi her n grinding her it was all ok at first we went to the room we were all kissing n touching than she started to lick me and he licked her that was all fine n fun But after I came she never touched my pussy again barely payed attention to me and I had to initiate any interaction with her Well ok I just think she did it cause her husband told her to so ok she's not bi no biggie But my husband kept playing with mostly her she was the center of attention I licked her made her cum n he did fuck me from behind for a few minutes but after she came he didn't really play with me again After that he fingered and licked her than he started fucking her mouth so I was just there n decided to try to be involved so I took out a wand n made her cum Than he fingered n licked her again He must have made her cum 4 times by now n she was breathing heavy n got up to leave I was like yay now I can have my husband n get some attention her and I went to the living room and she got dressed we hugged n than she was like oh let me say good by to him So she walked over to the room to say good by they started making out saying it was fun etc The goodby was taking to long so I said I'll brb I went to get water I came back n they were naked n she was sucking him off ( we have a rule we don't play alone, it's his rule that he requested) I was fuming at this point I walked away to cool off sat on the couch for a sec Than came back n she was still going at it Than he asked if we could all fuck I said ok so he pulls out a condom n starts fucking her missionary he says kiss me so I do I stopped for a sec to look at the situation than flips her n fucks her in a different position n I just get to sit thier and watch she starts screaming n coming than he cumS And than she sits up like we're done n starts chatting While I sit thier unsatisfied thinking this B just had the time of her life was the center of attention in my bed I made her come multiple times n my husband probably made her cum 4-5 times He made me cum 0 times he licked me 0 times Than she left n he was like what's wrong I told him I felt ignored n he said sorry I thought u wanted to play with her and have ur bi time so wanted to let you I told him that wasn't ok that he should have played with me toon he just said sorry Than I said when she got up to leave why didn't he let her leave why did they go at it again N he said she wanted to Than I asked why didn't he fuck me to why did he only fuck her and he said he wanted to fuck her so she would leave n he could play with me I know he felt bad but I don't understand how he could play with basically only her make her cum so many times and not think to try to make me cum even once Not think to make sure I was getting pleased I really felt he put in a huge effort to make sure she had a great time n he forgot about me I felt at that moment he wanted her more than me And I can't stop thinking about that now every time he tells me thier isn't anyone he wants more than me I don't believe it I know he loves me and wants me n wants to be with me we have an amazing sex life she is so devoted to me when others aren't with us in the bedroom But I think when sex with others starts happening the kinkyness with other people is the most important thing at that time n he forgets about me and my feeling I'm really struggling to get past this and to trust that he won't do this again How can I get past this?? Please help I haven't been able to sleep and I can't stop thinking about this

The most common way is to use a podcast app on your smartphone or iTunes if it's an iPhone. Search the word "Swinger" and plenty will pop up. Worst case, use Google.