Leaderboard

We had a chance to talk last night. Actually went really well. Turns out,the reason for the silence was due to her being afraid of hurting my feelings. Ironic, because I was trying to get her to open up about hers. Seems we were both worried the other. A little background. Years ago the wife had curiosity about other women. The opportunity came when a lady friend came on to her. I was there and encouraged her to go for it. Over months it developed into a few foursomes so the husbands wouldn't feel left out. Flash forward 10 years. I still support her being with other women to satisfy her bi side. I can't satisfy it. I don't have the anatomy for it. Unicorns are rare so most of that satisfaction comes from foursomes.and that is where we are now. Like I said, my frustration was that she wouldn't talk about it. She would just go along. Last night when we talked she revealed that one her reasons for doing it was to make me happy. And here I am doing it to make her happy. We both enjoy it anyway. So with that out in the open, we can just do it just because it's fun. She agreed to try to be more open about her feelings toward sex. The only thing she still wants to hold back is her fantasies. She thinks I will be freaked out by how weird they are. That just makes me more interested to hear them. Oh well. One step at a time. In summery, I think we took a big step forward in our relationship. Time will tell for sure.. Thanks for everyone's help

Bottom line, try talking to her. The discussion opened up for us when we were doing 69 and I mentioned that I always loved watching her give me head, and wouldn't mind watching her suck another cock. A couple days later we're in the car and when we pull into the driveway she goes "...did you mean that or were you just saying things in bed?" "I meant that." "I could be into that." Took us a while to get there from talking, but making sure she understands what you want is the first step.

I'm surprised that nobody has brought this up yet... Sometimes a man's eyes will tell his brain 'look what I'm seeing, can you believe it?' and the brain will say 'why no, I don't believe it. Especially since my wife is here and what I'm seeing is NOT ALLOWED!'. Then, quite possibly for his first time, his 'little buddy' is asleep when he should be paying attention. He overlooks this issue the first time, but when it happens for the second time...all that advertising for little pills comes back to mind and he has now caught ED (dun, dun, dunnnnn). It can really mess with a man's mind and once he starting worrying about it, it usually will just become worse. Fortunately, thanks to several multi-billion dollar advertising campaigns (that usually helped cause the problem in the first place) there's a pill for this. An expensive, usually hard to ask your doctor for pill (but doctors are used to being asked). It's not your fault. It just happens. You need to let it go since you apologized for it. Learn from it and just make sure that it doesn't happen again. If he doesn't already know that he is your world (and you his) and you don't remind each other on a regular basis, you have much bigger issues. Talk to him and I'm sure it will be just fine.

Does anybody else like doing stuff like this? Once upon a time, we did stuff like that at least once month. Is it normal? Define normal. What is wanting to do it with an audience even called? Exhibitionism. Is this something you CAN do at a club or party? Depends on the club or party, but as I alluded to, it is a thing that my wife and I have done at swingers clubs in the past... both having sex "in public" and having gangbangs. Would some be willing to just watch, without touching her, if I can't handle it? Yes. In fact, the first rule of every club I've ever been to boiled down to "look, don't touch, until given express permission otherwise." Of course, none of that addresses your actual question... Is this a good idea for you? Right now, honestly, based on your post I don't think it is. You don't sound ready yet. Your wife has a fantasy and she's excited about it. That excitement is affecting you. However, it also scares you. That's ok, but that fear is telling you something and you should listen it. You've taken a good first step... looking for more information (and you've come to a great place to find it). Swinging is exciting, but the key to success isn't excitement or wild sex. It's openness, honesty, trust and - above all - communication. The decision to swing really shouldn't be made with a hardon. It should be made calmly, rationally, fully dressed and probably over breakfast. First, you need to learn more about this. You evidently have friends in the lifestyle. I suggest you talk to them. Tell your wife about your concerns and your fears. Tell her your willing to learn more but not ready to do anything yet. Read. Ask more questions. Take it slow. My $.02, for whatever it's worth.

Hey there. Yes it can be a lot of fun - but also can be a lot of hurt. that's the truth. It will take some really good communication from both of you and trust and most importantly love. So do you have any rules like if you did go to screw her in front of strangers will it be just you two or can you guys do others? ( though are they strangers? or does she already know them? and how would you know if she will not tell you - hmmm trust may need some work ) I would think that you can fuck the shit out of your wife already - can you not? Have a talk to her about more details and what she expects, Does she just think she'll go and take other guys and what happens if you do not like it? we need more info to give better help. Best of luck though.

If he's that insecure, you shouldn't be doing this. We had a MMF the other night and the guy went down on my wife and made her cum like never before...I thought it was awesome and wasn't jealous at all.

I dated a woman that had 2 other male lovers with bigger cocks, and one trans male with a bigger strapon. I had threesomes with her and her trans lover. She did admit to me afterwards that she can usually reach orgasm a little more easily with the bigger sizes of her other lovers, but that my cock (actually an ample average) was still wonderful and that she loved my cock. In all cases, she needed direct clitoral stim with her fingers to orgasm. The extra pressure of more size just got her there quicker. So, she more often asked for me to add a thumb up her butt. That pressed my penis more towards her g-spot and put pressure on her parineum too. This nearly equaled things out. Communicating well and completely....worked well for us.

I found the OP difficult to parse because you always have to read between the lines when you're only getting one person's side of the story. Certain statements like "my partner always gets so defensive" or "I could tell by the look in her eyes that it was not really welcome. But my partner didn’t get it" could easily mean that the OP is seeing things through a lens of personal assumptions. Mrs. E and I, one of our first couple friends, the wife was very chatty and would always spend too much time talking to me. I found it excessive, but not a big deal, and I'd make a point of being social with her. However, Mrs. E was certain that the husband would be convinced I was flirting with his wife and that I had to tone it down. I mostly kept quiet with her next time we met. Mrs. E thought I handled it perfectly, but two days later, embarrassed, she admitted that the husband had later asked why I was so quiet and if I was mad at his wife. In the same way, when the OP says something like "I could tell she didn't want to play with him", but describes, moments later, them being all over each other and getting too affectionate... If she didn't want to play with him, presumably she would not? It reads like she might be projecting her own preferences a little. There's not enough information here to really be sure who's thinking what.

The simple answer is to be open and honest with him. You said you feel terrible about it. Tell HIM. Apologize for not helping. Next time this happens, he needs to tell you so you can help. This is similar to my issue in the getting the wife to talk thread. You both have to be open with your feelings. In the other thread, I tried to guess what my wife was feeling. I was completely wrong. Sounds like your man is doing the same thing. He is wrong about your feelings too. But he won't know that unless you let him know what your true feelings are.

This gets asked fairly often, ten minutes with google will tell you: Using a condom reduces the risk of getting many diseases. That does not mean zero. Pretty much every activity is a risk and we all choose what is worth the risk. We always use condoms and get irritated with couples that at the moment of truth try the "What protection are condoms really? We're fine without them if you are..." after telling us they always use condoms. Our line is pretty simple: we always use condoms and we try to only play with those that always use condoms. We don't (for example) use dental dams when engaging in oral fun. If we had to make a choice between using a dental dam of forgoing oral we would do the later as it reduces the experience enough that it is not worth it. The risk is lower than barebacking but its still a risk that we (and most others) choose to take.

If Ms. Gold is willing to tell me her fantasies, I'm more than willing to try and make them come true. This has brought us closer together and allowed us to both be more open with each other. Would we have been okay without this: yes. Has this made our relationship stronger and better: yes! Could we stop today without looking back: yes. This is the sprinkles on our ice cream sundae of life...the sundae would have still been great without them, but it's better with them. In your case, however, it's a question that only the two of you can answer. If she is asking the question, I would guess that she wanted you to say that it's not important to you, just something that brings you closer and more open to each other. I'm guessing here, but it sounds like she wants to make sure that you love her first and foremost and that anything else that happens is a very distant second. Talk to her and find out. Open up those lines of communication even wider, it almost never hurts and will usually just make your relationship stronger, no matter what the outcome is.

Happiness and swinging are to be found in different hunting grounds. If y'all are happy with each other, you can probably swing. Swinging is for fun and only fun. It does not bring happiness.

I got it at age 38. My Dr thought it was a good idea because I had not been exposed to multiple partners when I was younger. My insurance wouldn't cover it. I got the first dose at my Dr's and the rest at Planned Parenthood to save money. My Dr felt that there was no reason it wouldn't work well in older people, but that most people had a lot of exposure by the time they were in their 30's. Planned Parenthood was very cool about it. If someone has only had sex with their spouse I would definitely recommend they ask their Dr (or Planned Parenthood) about being vaccinated. Everyone should also get the HEPB series regardless of your experience. I'm going to ask my OB/Gyn about the meningococcal vaccine next time I'm there. Meningitis is easily spread through kissing and is often fatal. The vaccine is currently given to people going to college or in the military, but there have been outbreaks in the gay community spread through kissing at bars and clubs. It seems to me that swingers would be equally high risk.