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We LOVE doing "that stuff"!!! Here are a few examples: We've engaged in this hobby for 15 years and still enjoy playing. Early in our exploration, we went to a pool party at a club near Harrisburg Pa. There may have been 10 other couples and a few singles naked around the pool. After awhile, the heat, adult beverages and teasing got to us and we went inside and kind of fell onto a bed in an open area just off the pool and we boinked our brains out. When we finished, we heard several comments about how hot our play was. When we looked up, there were 3 couples and a guy standing naked around the bed who had watched nearly the whole thing. All 4 guys were sporting erections so we must have done something right. Fully dressed at a swingers club in Philly, We were standing talking to the wife of a couple we knew and there were several others around us. The wife gave me a very sensuous kiss which gave me an immediate hard on which Mrs Doc noticed. She said to us, "don't let me interrupt you two" and she unzipped me and gave me a tremendous public bj while the other wife continued to kiss me. Incredibly erotic and when I came, Mrs Doc got applause from the bystanders. Our first orgy experience occurred at a club in northern Maryland. One of the rooms had 2 double beds crammed together in a rather small room. We were fairly new and were hanging with a group of 3 other couples who were much more experienced than we. They invited us back to that room with them. We said we weren't sure how far we were willing to go and all three couples were OK with that. It was so damned hot watching the foreplay and the switching off between them as they all got undressed. We got naked too and put ourselves in the far corner of one of the beds where we could play but could also watch and listen while the other 3 couples were getting it on and getting off. It was seriously erotic. We didn't engage much with the group although there were a few hands on Mrs Doc's boobs and I remember one of the women guiding my dick back into my wife after I slipped out (for a newbie, that was REALLY hot). As we were reaching our climaxes, we were being caressed but not demandingly groped by several people. They were gentle and un-intrusive but it was such a turn on and we came like crazy while they watched and urged us on. As we were driving home that night Mrs Doc said, "OMG honey, THAT was fun. Maybe next time we can get more involved with the others". I don't know how "normal" any of this is but we've shared lots of erotic experiences with others over a decade and a half. There are very few things we haven't tried, most things at least twice and we've no regrets. OP, your wife's fantasies are nothing to be afraid of. On the contrary, she showed a lot of courage and trust to share them with you. I hope you find the courage and trust within yourself to explore those fantasies with her. She sounds like a lot of fun.

Let's face it. What most of us are really after is, and excuse the crude way of saying it, 'strange'. It's the excitement of someone new. And, after a few times, it's just not newanymore. And the more times you're with another person, the more chance of it going to another level that you're really not wanting. It's just difficult to have only a good friendship with someone you're also sleeping with. We only repeated with one couple. And they were friends. It was one of those rare times when we, all four of us, liked all of the others. We were comfortable having sex in front of the others or going out separately because of the trust of the friendships. But, after a few months of being sexually active with each other, we all realized that it was getting a little dangerous. We remained friends but we didn't swap anymore.

For future reference: When two women 'start going at each other' men with either 1) be disgusted and leave or 2) wish they had some popcorn while they watch the show. In the future, keep your private life more separate from your play life but that's water under the bridge. Just own it. More than likely every guy in the place wished they had popcorn to watch and a girlfriend/wife that would do exactly what you were doing. Don't worry about it and just walk in. If anyone says anything just them them how you were drinking and hadn't eaten anything and things just got a bit out of control...but nobody will say anything. It happened, don't be ashamed, just walk in like you own the place (and know that some of the men will be wishing it would happen again). Remember, even the women in the bathroom where applauding...

I think I have to take GoldCoCouple's side on this one. If we ran into you guys at a club and you and my wife agreed to play and we were watching, if he jumped into the middle of it and started groping my wife I think I would have to say something. That is just not good LS manners. I'm honestly not sure if he has the maturity to be in the LS. Maybe someday, but his actions now say otherwise.

Swinging is a team activity. Your boundaries should also be his boundaries. If one person says no to something, then you are BOTH saying no...always...no repercussions or reasons needed. If one of you says no or sets a boundary, then that is the boundary for both of you PERIOD. He needs to be made aware of this. We understand what you are saying here. Making love and having sex isn't the same thing. One is fun while the other is intimate. You both should talk about the differences so he has a better understanding of what the differences are. This is (at least) a yellow flag. You both need to trust each other totally and be able to tell the other anything and everything. Since it sounds like this isn't the case (his defensiveness stops you from talking about something disturbing you) you need to fix this issue before continuing. Love/trust/communication: you must have all three in abundance to be successful in swinging. Even with play partners that we have known for years, we both ASK PERMISSION before we start initiating contact with a different partner (and they do the same). 'Is it okay if I touch as well?' is just politeness. In this case, a 'we're not quite done with each other yet' should have been enough to tell him to at least wait. He needs to be reminded to use his manors when asking to borrow the next door neighbors lawn mower...or his neighbors wife, and not take it personally if the answer is 'I'm using it right now, you can borrow it when we're done'. Yellow flag is now red. You two are teammates and it doesn't sound like he wants to be on your team. My SO is the most important thing in my life and I would never do anything to hurt her...even a little. If she were to say we need to stop this, I would in a second and never look back. I would never make her feel bad about wanting to talk with me about anything. Great communication is a requirement to a strong relationship, swingers or not, but especially if you are swinging. If he doesn't understand this, then you probably need to at least take a break from swinging until you get the communication issue fixed. That is so hot...sorry, side tracked. The most important thing to me is to see that my partner has a great time and is able to fulfill her fantasies. Second is that the other woman also is having a great time. Last comes me having a great time (because if your partner had a great time, and the other woman had a great time, how is it possible for me NOT to have a great time?). She (my SO) is the most important thing to me and will always come first. It sounds like he needs to be reminded of this. It's not just about him, it's about both of you having a great time together. Men who think it's all about themselves usually end up alone with them self. Work on your communication. Maybe even bring him here and show him this thread. We would love to hear his side as well. Good luck and let us know how things are progressing.

I'm so embarrassed. My husband and I were planning to get something to eat before we met up with another couple. We got a little delayed, and didn't want to be late so we skipped dinner and went to see them. We started talking and from what we can tell they were already drinking, and asked if we would like something to drink. So we started with just a beer. After we finished, we decided to go to another local bar that me and my husband frequently go to, and pretty much every one knows us, including the owner. (big mistake, but we thought nothing of it at the time). Anyway we start taking shots (not my husband as he was the designated driver, and only had a few beers). As the boys were talking I decided to go to the restroom with the wife, and that's were things started heating up. We started kissing next thing I know we both are in the stall with the door closed going at each other very wildly that we didn't notice some other girls had walked in. So we open the stall, and here are 2 girls applauding us (1 of the girls I know as she frequents the bar also) anyway she said you may want fix yourselves, when I looked our breasts were out in the open OMG I felt so embarrassed. So back to the boys doing our walk of shame (well at least I felt that way). After a few minutes I completely forgot about it, and guess what...here I am going at her again, but this time in front of everybody. The boys just acted cool about it, but you could tell they were enjoying the show (and a few on lookers if not everyone). It started getting late so we decided to call it a night, and as we start walking back to the car she opens the back door, and now it's me and her in the back seat going at each other once more. I guess the fact that my husband was driving with her husband in the passenger seat turned us on even more.... but it didn't last as we had to pull to the side of the road...yep you guessed it. Anyway the next day I asked my husband why didn't you stop me, and he replied why would I it was such a turn on, and you were truly enjoying the moment. I told him I know but not in a place we like to go frequently, how can I show my face again. He said it's no big deal, besides the fact that almost all the female bar tenders in that bar are Bi, only difference is they will probably start hitting on you from now on (God I wanted to slap him). Anyway any thoughts on how to go about this for the next time we visit ? We truly enjoy that place. My husband sees what happened no different but I feel embarrassed, and I'm sure a few people are going to start asking questions, I would just like to prepare myself.

We've been on the road again, scheduled a week of intensive sightseeing in southern Europe and then a week of quiet on a couple of Mediterranean islands. When we got on the ferry after the first week, we were exhausted, and Mrs. E was feeling thoughtful since it's been a hectic few years and this was almost like a second honeymoon time for us. She surprised me talking about how she felt like time was passing and we weren't making enough time for spontaneous fun, and the swinging subject came up again. We've played a few times with another couple over the last year or so, but she still didn't feel independent enough of some of her hangups to move beyond that, and she was finally feeling like she'd escaped the stresses at home. We talked a bit about what she meant, and she protested that she felt like the dresses she brought were a little prudish when all the other women she'd noticed seemed to be wearing almost nothing at all, so I offered to take her shopping when we got into the port. She liked that, and said that she felt like everyone was there looking for sex and that she didn't want to be a wallflower anymore. I asked her if that meant she wanted to pick up a playmate and she wasn't sure, but I was supportive and we encouraged each other to be keep things flirty and light this week. When we went shopping, I picked out a few breezy, see-through, short things for her. That first night she wore some little tunic type of top with a white bra and panties, and at 5'9", it was pretty risque. It barely covered her ass, but it was typical for the women we saw walking around and we went out to hear some music. When she went up to dance, a couple of men got aggressive with their hands, but she connected more with a Finnish woman who initially assumed she was Finnish, too. Both were tall and blond, and I could see them dancing for a while before Mrs. E brought her over to introduce her and have a couple of drinks. The woman was maybe 40, there on her own and very flirtatious, but I could tell it wasn't likely going anywhere. She kept touching Mrs. E's hair and skin and kept giving me compliments, but after they parted ways Mrs. E said the same thing, that she couldn't figure out if something might happen there and had brought her over just to see where it went. I didn't want to press what she'd had in mind, but it was clear that she'd thought about it and was turned on by the woman, and I was really turned on by how bold that was for her and told her so. The week wore on like that, a lot of flirting and groping, and we had a lot of sex between the two of us, but things took a turn on about day 5, when we went sunbathing in the morning. She wore a black bikini and went topless to even out her tan. She's fair skinned but turns a nicely bronzed color when she gets some sun and evening it out was a good idea. We'd only had coffee to start the day, and when the sun got a little higher and it was pushing lunchtime, I got up to go find something for us to drink and by the time I got back, there was already a man there talking to her and she was smiling and chatting back, not really looking up from behind her sunglasses but not hiding her breasts, either. I decided to hold back for a couple of minutes to see what happened, drinking my Coca-Cola at a shaded table, probably fifty feet away. After a minute, her new friend sat down on my chair and she finally around a bit, and saw me at the table. She turned over onto her stomach and I could see they were still talking, and then he said something and put his hand on the small of her back and she started laughing and waved her arm at him to get his off of her. Then took out her phone and seemed to ignore him. I have a fitness tracker that's tied to my phone, and when it went off, I realized she was texting me, but my phone was still in the bag by the chair. The message that scrolled by just said "come back :)". So I did, and when I got there she sat part-way up showing her cleavage and introduced me and told him he was actually in my chair, then smirked to me. "This is D, he says I don't have enough sunscreen on my back and it's almost the sunniest part of the day. He was going to help me with it." D was a little startled and tried to make friendly goodbyes, but I told him it was fine and to help himself to some of our water while I helped her with the sunscreen. We made idle chat about the beach and the island, and Mrs. E was still face-down with her big white sunhat over her head while I was rubbing her back. I couldn't see her expression but could tell from her voice that she was pretty amused. Mrs. E made some comment about all the hard partying on the islands, and I decided to poke her a little, teasing her about being too conservative to ever have a one-night stand. That made her scoff. "You don't know everything", then she turned over, exposing her breasts again. That emboldened D, and he asked her what she had against one-night stands. "Nothing." Then she squeezed her breasts between her arms a little, smiled, and asked if we thought her tan was evening out OK. (It was, and she told me later that she'd noticed D was visibly hard, something I'd missed.) Then she admitted the sun was getting too intense and that we needed to get back to our hotel room. She sat up and put on her bikini top, then smirked at me and mentioned wanting to open the bottle of wine the hotel had left in the room. "Maybe D should come hang out with us?" "Sure." Mrs. E only told me later that she was teasing and didn't think I was going to agree. Apparently she doesn't know everything, either. Either way, Mrs. E had put on a kimono-style coverup and when we got back we sat down on the couch in the front of the room, then things proceeded very quickly. We barely got the wine poured and she was already breathing heavily just from getting nervous, and soon I had her coverup open and her bikini top off again, with her breast in my mouth. With another man watching, it made her blush and laugh and squirm like she was ticklish. Then D kissed her neck from the other side and went for her other breast, and at first she froze up and squealed, then moaned. Soon she had her legs spread and we were probing her with our fingers, while she reached for our cocks. This isn't the first time Mrs. E had serviced two cocks, but it was the first time she'd picked a man up like this and she was really giggly and excited to feel him, especially knowing how horny he was for her. I got my swim trunks off and so did D, and Mrs. E went skiing for a few minutes while we licked and sucked her nipples and fingered her. When D tried to go down on her, she demurred and pushed him back, then leaned to the left and kissed him. I was sitting on her right and leaned back while she kept squeezing my cock, and watched as she kissed his chest but didn't go any further, then rubbed her breasts in his lap. They made out intensely and she got sidetracked from stroking me for a minute, her hand sitting still while their tongues mingled. I had to grab her hand to remind her to keep going, then moved her hand down to my balls and let her tickle them and squeeze them before sitting back again so he could bury his face in her chest. She looked over at me and was smiling ear-to-ear, very pleased with herself, then leaned back my way and ran her tongue around my head while he fingered her. I came first, still leaning back on the couch, when she stopped licking me and looked me in the eyes again. I groaned and she started to laugh around her gasps from the fingerfucking, then the first shot hit her neck and shoulder, the rest squirted all over her hand and wrist. She didn't bother to wipe it off when she sat back up, and then guided D's hand out of her and gave him the same teasing tongue treatment she'd given me. He was slower to finish, maybe more nervous, and the groaning lasted a while. She got down on the floor to jerk him off while on her knees. When he finally shot, she was looking him right in the eyes and his first rope hit her on the neck, too, making her squeak in surprise, something I'd never heard her do before, then kept stroking until he was done and tried to wipe her hands off on her breasts, which just made a mess of her. She was still laughing. There was a moment there where we caught our breath, then she got up quickly and said she needed to wash up. She said goodbye to D, and he took the hint. We both put our swim trunks back on, and after the water was running he thanked me for inviting him over and wrote down his phone number if we wanted to meet again. I looked at the clock after I shut the door, it was about 2:30, and I jumped in the shower with Mrs. E. We shut all the blackout curtains and passed out on the bed, then woke up, made out for half an hour, and I held her arms down over her head and fucked her brains out. She came repeatedly and, very out of character for her, was playful and trying to talk dirty to provoke me about what had just happened. She's not usually the type to talk confidently about sex but she was really laying it on thick about feeling him throb before he came and licking us both off her hands before she showered, smiling as she said it. (I asked her later if she was just teasing, she still refuses to tell me.) I gave it back to her, told her I had his phone number, and when she tried to say something about him fucking her bareback, she just ran out of air and came again. After we were done, it was 7:00 pm. I asked her if she would really want me to text him, and she shook her head and said no. I picked out a black net dress I'd bought for her and she put it on over her black lacy panties and bra, and we went out for dinner, we shared a delicious whole fish while I admired her body. She seemed fine with everything and dinner conversation was light and breezy, no worries about home or anything else. It was a great night, and afterwards I walked her to a cocktail bar I'd seen down a hidden corner, and we started talking about sex again. Something clicked and she asked if I really had D's phone number. He ended up meeting us at the bar an hour later, and we went back to the hotel room and probably destroyed that poor mattress: what started as her giving us both head quickly ended up with me sitting up on the headboard with Mrs. E's face in my lap, squeezing her breasts and rubbing her nipples, while D had her ass in the air pounding away at her from behind (with a condom, of course). We had all had a little bit to drink when we got to the room, and neither of us finished fast and she wasn't smiling and laughing this time. No kissing or eye contact. She was sweating, groaning, and choking on me. When he came hard, she came hard, and feeling her spasm in climax unable to get the noises out around my cock made me cum hard a few moments later. She missed most of my load, distracted by her own orgasm, and ended up drenching my lap in my own cum. She was still staring down, trying to catch her breath and ended up gasping when D pulled his cock out of her. After a couple of minutes she rolled over and kissed his cock and wished him a goodnight. I walked him out and she was out cold when I got back to the bed, I deleted D's number and passed out with her around 1:00 am. We sat down when we got back to Athens a couple of days later to try to post about this, but we gave up and waited until we got home to give her time to collect her thoughts. She was turned on by her own rule-breaking and that second session was her throwing out the rulebook and finishing the job, even if she couldn't look either of us in the eye while she did it. She's not convinced she's ready to do it again, but pretty proud of herself for going that far.

We have played with our first couple for several years and we are still enjoying. I still get a tingle in anticipating seeing them. My husband has told me he enjoys our vacations with them. Our relationship has even grown. In the beginning I was adamant about separate rooms. Now we have even more fun together.

If we 'click' with the other couple, then no. We are looking for FWB so the friends part is important to us. We want to take the time to get to know them first before jumping into bed. The one main couple that we've been 'dating', well we've been dating for over 3 years now. We've gone on vacations together and weekend get-aways. We are careful to keep romantic entanglements separate and have rules to prevent them from happening. This is what works for us and probably doesn't work for some others, but it's all good. If we meet a couple and there isn't a connection, usually we all know it and it ends naturally.

I think if you're that far from speaking openly about this that you're trying to surreptitiously slip her some swinging SPAM, that you should definitely work on communication about sex first. Once the idea is out there, you're going to need to have a lot of pretty frank conversations for this to work.

Yes! We like the newness of a couple or we find that we don't click with one. If we get to a third meeting it now becomes very predictable to what will happen. We have this discussion where my husband has questioned my enthusiasm with a couple. We are always looking for new experiences.

There are two schools of thought about this (do a search for 'friends'). Some think that (and it really depends on the person/people) it's okay while others (us included) think that the risks far outweigh the benefits. If anything goes wrong...bad blood, he falls for you, things just go south, are you ready to lose his friendship and for your friends/family to hear about what happened? He also might not be interested when the offer is made. If you are SURE that the friendship is strong enough that bad things won't happen, then it's up to the two (three) of you. Otherwise, with how many guys looking to swing with couples, it's just easier to find someone who doesn't know your friends/family. Either way its up to you, only you know all of the details. We would rather make friends out of swingers than swingers out of friends.

You need love/trust/communication. Get those in order first then start opening up the communication by talking about your sexual fantasies and ask her for hers. Once you can talk about sex... (see sig at bottom). You MUST have a great (not just good) relationship to be successful. She must know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will be there for her thru anything. Swinging will make a great relationship better than ever imagined, but it also works as a magnifying glass and will show every crack and weakness a 'good' (or less) relationship has. Don't be in a rush, take your time and never forget she is your priority. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Excellent advice given above. Slow and easy wins the day. The suggestion about continuing to learn is dead on. My wife and I have been easing into the LS since February of this year and after a total of 6 club visits and two house parties we have just now reached the point of a true soft swap, and that is cool. It sounds like your wife would like to dive into the deep end of the pool right away, but I would suggest you show her this forum and that way you can both learn and decide with an informed mind if the swinging lifestyle is right for you. If you do want to "give an inch" to you wife I would recommend a visit to a good local lifestyle club. Before you go you need to get your wife's agreement that you are only there to watch or at the most play with each other if the mood strikes. And stick with this agreement on the first visit, EVEN IF YOU change YOUR mind. If you want to go farther there will be plenty of opportunities in the future. Keeping the promise to each other will only help to build the trust that will be so necessary later if you decide to move forward. If you are worried about embarrassment from having sex with your wife in front of others, the best advice I would have in that situation is just do what you should be doing ANYTIME you have sex with your wife, give her 100% of your attention and tune out any other people that might be around. It really is a lot of fun to be at a club really getting it on with your wife and when you finish you look around and you have attracted a crowd. This is a good thing, it means your doing it right. My 2 cents.

Bottom line, try talking to her. The discussion opened up for us when we were doing 69 and I mentioned that I always loved watching her give me head, and wouldn't mind watching her suck another cock. A couple days later we're in the car and when we pull into the driveway she goes "...did you mean that or were you just saying things in bed?" "I meant that." "I could be into that." Took us a while to get there from talking, but making sure she understands what you want is the first step.

Thank you! I will let you guys know what happens for sure! I think we will end up just playing it by ear and like was said not make any decisions while drunk.

You seem ready to accept anything in order to rekindle the 3somes....but I think you should also realize that if she is alone with him, it's not a 3some anymore and as much as some couples have successfully navigated through those waters, when one partner goes solo, the risks of strong emotional bonding with the other man increases exponentially.

We practice swinging religiously. We are both Jewish by birth, atheists by choice.

I don't know if this has ever been queried, but I am nearing my 50th birthday. Although I keep myself in good shape, not overweight at all, I have the natural downslide of someone who is not as handsome as they used to be; (I know, I know, there are many of us in that boat as father time stalks us like a predator.) Anyway, I notice a lot more wrinkles on the brow, a lot less hair on top, and a whole lot less self-confident than I was. My wife is a stunner from very young. Although she is still in her mid-forties, she actively models and has done nude shoots with girls half her age, and completely holds up comparatively. She is very supportive about my looks, tells me I'm still the one that turns her on, and overall very obvious about her love and lust for me, for which I am grateful. When we meet couples in the lifestyles, the collective jaws drop for her, but I can definitely detect a less-than-enthusiastic response more and more so from the wives we encounter that I didn't ever have a problem attracting before. My simple question, has anybody else encountered this nuance of a problem? I work out, I eat right, and do all the things one would suggest me to do outside of Botox, a facelift, and hair transplants. If I sound negative about myself, I suppose I am but the truth is the truth and I thought I could take this to the community for a bit of advice and/or perspective... Cheers, Elf

It's not about how you look, it's about how you carry your looks and what you convey. Some thoughts from someone about to turn 59, and who was propositioned yesterday by a powerful woman a decade younger. 1. Decide on your look. Stick with it. Personally, I started shaving my head more than ten years ago, steel-rimmed glasses, teeth in perfect repair, and suits that look and feel wonderful. My wardrobe is not extensive, but everything that is on the exterior screams quality. Even casual, the sweaters are a luscious material. If you're short on cash, second-hand stores often have excellent pieces in excellent condition. 2. Groom perfectly. The nose hairs, ear hairs--gone. Shave as often as needed, use a blade, make smooth perfect. Nails trimmed so as never to scratch lady parts. If you use cologne, very light and very sophisticated. 3. Think about what you are saying and make it count. Last night, as we shared a glass of champagne, I made compliments about her beautiful size 4 dress, a deep teal color. It was truly beautiful, as was she. It was also a size 6. Suggesting that a woman is younger than her years, slimmer than her size and richer than her actual worth has never gotten me in trouble--except for trouble I want to be in. Talk about a piece of jewelry she is wearing, or the lovely fragrance she has on. Engage her about her, and for the time you are speaking with her, let her know she is the most beautiful woman in the room, house, city, state, galaxy, etc. P.S. I like this woman and respect her. I also do not cheat on my wife. I bought her dinner, we had lovely conversation and then parted ways. I also told my wife about the date. The LS demands it.

A couple things. #1. any time you write back with a reason of why you are not wanting to get together they are going to write back and try to explain why your reasons are not valid or do not apply to them. Some will even be nasty and abusive about it. this also applys to couples and single fems. #2. if you are going to write back to every single male and explain why you think they are a cheater and their message or profile is suspicious you are going to need a secretary and a staff of writers and whole lot of bandwidth because there are millions of them out there. It's like trying to get rid of a colony of ants by stamping on them one at a time. I am being judgemental but IMHO a cheater does not deserve the keystrokes of a polite response. Delete and go on about your business. #3. By explaining the red flags to him you have now created an EDUCATED cheater who is going to try and cover his tracks better next time.