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Every comment here has brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for the perspective. And yes, I have considered the possibility that it could be post-partum and that theory isn't off the table for me. However, I do think this may just be a common doubt and feeling among woman with children, especially when they are relatively young (5 and under). I will continue to work at this. The conversation spawned. Between my husband and I and when asked if he'd take pre baby me or post baby me ( body wise) he said he'd choose the pre. However, he did say that if it were post baby me and another woman with the same attributes I wish I had, he'd still choose me. Respectable response. Honest but still reassuring. But that is what spawned it. He'd take me regardless, but he'd prefer the pre-baby me. I can't fault the man for his honesty, I guess it ties to don't ask questions you don't want the brutal honest answer too.

As a husband of 16 years and a father of 3, I can definitely say that sometimes the physical changes can be alarming, but never unwelcome. We all are on a journey with the same end; and how you get there affects the vessel. My wife has always and forever been my best friend; but there have been periods where the physical has waned for whatever reasons (3 kids, 9 miscarriages will wreak havoc on a woman's body). That being said, my affection, love and attraction to her has also never been solely physical. As we all get older, needs do change and sometimes the "taut tummy tight package" 20 year olds simply get exhausting. Have you ever tried TALKING to somebody in their early 20s? IT'S TERRIBLE!! that being said, my wife is who I choose to be with and who I choose to express the vast majority of physicality with. Because she IS the mother of my children, she IS the woman I married, and she DOESN'T have a taut tummy anymore. Which is 400% ok.

First of all, he looks at you different because in addition to being his wife, you are now also the mother of his children. As for "How can any man admit that they would prefer their loose stomach-skinned and droopy breast wife over a taut tummy, perkier model with less bags under her eyes?", I happen to love the female body, especially one that has been used for it's intended purpose. While I LOVE breasts, I'll take 'droopy' over perky...it shows that you have lived. Bags under the eyes start to disappear shortly after the children move out of the house. I would rather have one 40YO woman over the 2 20YO women (of joke fame). It takes too much effort to teach the 2 20YOs what they need to know and it's almost impossible to get a word in edgewise anyway. Don't be so critical with yourself. Your husband isn't a liar, is he? Then why can't you believe him when he tells you he loves how you look? Mature women are beautiful! True beauty radiates from inside anyways.

It is a tough thing, but think of it as training. As you age, many awesome things will be stripped from you. You will look back and wish your saggy skin was your only problem with your body. Too many people spend too much time and money to maintain youth. Try to accept yourself as I'm sure your husband is accepting you. Resistance is futile.

Well I think you are doing everything the right way - I have the same thinking as goldcocouple in so much as you are the gem lol. I think if you are a unicorn or a site that is for swingers with or with out herpes (as long as your up front - and I do think you are) then you will get many proposals and you will be able to pick and chose, but is that what you really want? Or would you be happy to have a fuckbuddy where it can be a bit more to your liking? I get the feeling (I do not know why) that you would be happy to find someone and have a one on one relationship (within your non-committal boundaries of course). Something that gives you the intimacy without the long term commitment - is that right or am I just way off lol?

I made a decision last nite. After reading different blogs including this site, I will no longer attend parties. A while back I posted that I have herpes. This man that I have been talking about, when we met, I told him that. He was ok with it, he wears a condom. When he took me to the first party he said not to disclose that because I'm taking valtrax daily, am xtremely fit and healthy and don't get outbreaks. Also... if 1 in 3 have it, there's probably someone in the club that has it and not saying anything. This has been haunting me and I no longer can justify, feel good about my behavior. I met s couple online whom I was supposed to meet for coffee this Friday. I emailed them and told them that I was going to tell them at our meeting...which I was...but why waste their time waiting, so I disclosed. I'm sure I will hear back from them. I feel relieved about my decision. I will not go this Saturday. To the club or get my own membership. I have a wonderful life and I believe if I do the right things...the right things will show up in my experiences There is a herpes swinger website that I made a profile for, but nobody comes up in my area. Oh well...if that's all I have to bitch about I'm doing quite well I'd say!! Lol. I have not heard from my "friend"... when I do I'll tell him the same I want to keep in touch with you guys and hopefully meet up someday I live in the Everett, Seattle area. Thank you all! I will reply to Luvin eye full, and thank you Gold Co Couple for your above sentiment!!

By fortunately chance, shortly after my wife had our child, I happened to acquire a new digital camera. With a little coaxing, she let me take some sexy pictures of her and post them on a website that catered to amateur sexy pictures. She'd probably never admit it, but I truly believe the resulting comments showing that a wide variety of strangers on the internet were jerking off to the sight of her post-baby body helped her self-esteem quite a lot. So, I honestly submit - as a husband, a father and a swinger - you can be his true preference... not "because he loves you" or "you gave him children" or "he loves you for you" but because he truly, genuinely can find you sexually desirable. I know you're not in a place where you believe that right now, and I'm sorry for that, but it is possible.

OUtstanding!! A very nice stepping stone. Or another metaphor, you are up to your waist now. Not to worry, we are just a few inches deeper than you and we have been going to clubs and attending parties since February of this year.

I recently had the opportunity to do this. We had played with another couple we met at a club and they slept over with us on our king size bed. The next morning, I work up to the sounds of lovemaking on the other side of the bed. It was the other couple getting it on. My wife was still sleeping next to me, so I eased out of bed and over to the other side of the bed and watched and helped our with my hands where I could. Finally they finished and started getting up to go home. I asked him if he had creamed her. He is like...yeah...Damn that excited me. I asked him if I could eat her out. He turned to her they nodded to each other and said sure. I laid her back on the bed, kneeled on the floor beside the bed and had a feast. I wanted to fuck her so bad right then, and I am sure I could have, but I just didn't feel right about doing it with my wife missing out on all of it. Finally I sat up, tapped her on the thigh, held out my hands to help her up, and said thank you very much. Gave her a very nice goodbye kiss and told them we can't wait to play with them again. And out the door they went. WOW!!!! Did that really happen??

That sounds fantastic! Here's to many more amazing adventures! May they all be fun, and draw the two of you ever closer!

That is awesome, glad you had a great experience.

There's a subtle difference again from hotwife, where there's no humiliation intended but the female takes the lead. This isn't something I get into much detail about on this forum, but in general, Mrs. E has always been the submissive partner. Having a conservative background, it makes it a little easier for her to open up if I take charge and coach her to where she wants to go. Even if she wants to do something, some anxiety will take over about her upbringing and why she shouldn't. It helps a lot to have me there leading her along so it's not all her idea. I know some people raise their hackles about power dynamics in sex, but this has really turned out well during MFM play, as having both me and her friend's husband leading her keeps her mind busy and it's easier for her to relax. Hotwifing/cuckolding is this whole other scary thing where she has to take charge of it all and that's pretty off the wall for her.

The man had no respect for your marriage, your limitations and sadly, he had no respect for you as a man. He was clearly not experienced with 3-somes and it sounds like he figured that if you were OK with him fucking your wife that he was the alpha not you, and he had no clue that he was the recipient of a gift from you and your wife. We seldom play with single males and would be VERY leery of playing with a male in that age bracket. We have had experiences at swingers clubs where the guy obviously didn't "get it" and because of that, he really didn't get it. Chalk it up to experience, a bad one, and I'd strongly suggest you two don't play with anybody else until you get a clean bill of health. You can bet your wife wasn't the first woman where it "felt so good" to that walking penis.