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Or am I just getting cynical? I've been lurking the board and have enjoyed the conversations and useful information. Wife and I have been enjoying the lifestyle off and on for ten years. Between kids and other obligations, finding time for adult fun is often difficult. We both agreed to take one day out of a month to enjoy the clubs. Last night we went to a club in Houston and was quite disappointed. Although lately we have witnessed some of these behaviors in New Orleans, Dallas and Austin. 1. Since when is it ok to open a closed door to a private room? Single men, I'm talking to you. Often times couples need "preparation time". Myself, I'm not young anyone so a warm up period of the nether regions is required. Same can be said for the women. Wait for the door to open. Don't diminish a slim chance you might have. 2. Touching others without permission? Voyeurs like to watch and some like to be watch. Don't ruin it for everyone. Wait for some type of positive signal before taking such liberties. 3. What is going on with the LOUD conversation not related to the situation at hand? VIP areas and private rooms or connecting hallways not the proper place for banter. Take it to the common areas! 4. If you enter a play area or accept a invite, men--- be ready to play! I know that hydraulics fail at times. However seems the wife and I have been batting below .500 past couple months with other men. Awkward for everyone! Stop masturbating a few days, get some ED pills, stop watching porn for a week, etc (not judging, I've had to take this advise myself) Also, if you are in the meet and greet area and haven't talked to your significant other in an hour, why are you in the club? If you don't talk to each other, no one will approach you for a conversation. This is how perceived "cliques" get started. People want to mingle and talk to each other. If an open effort is not made, you won't meet anyone. Sorry for the rant. We are extremely busy. The few opportunities we have at play seemed ambushed in one way or the other the past few months by others lack of consideration. Off my soap box, just had to get this off my chest.

Do any guys like to have vibrators on their nuts or vibrations of some sort? How many men have taken a finger in the ole' poop chute while you and your wife were in a heated sex moment and liked it? Do you like it done on a regular basis? Women, do you like doing it?

We much prefer meeting another couple or attending a small house party that is not open to the public. But these meetings are fraught with their own perils. Just have to keep a sense of humor and be thankful for your own primary relationship.

Perhaps you're simply getting older. We've found some of the same behaviors at clubs and have attributed it to the process of our maturation and the steady influx of younger people to swinging. The 20/30 somethings we see in SFla seem to have fewer manners and a bigger sense of entitlement than 15 years ago when we started in this hobby. As for single guys, what's new? The behavior you've described we observed at our 1st club visit in 2002 in Pennsylvania. It has to do with blood volume. Our theory is that many single guys do not have enough blood volume to sustain an erection AND higher brain functions simultaneously, hence the bad behavior. While we really miss the excitement and erotic atmosphere of the clubs, we've found that our club nights are becoming fewer with each passing year because of some of what you described and in addition, most clubs play awful music at the decibel level of a B-52 at takeoff speed. On the other hand, we recognize that we can't expect people to conform to our standards of behavior so have started to avoid places where there are a lot of single guys or rude and pushy people.

Very good points. We were playing at a club recently and a single guy just walked right up 6 inches from me and asked if he could watch. I snapped at him and said no.

Sadly, it probably is the club ownership that is the problem. At my favorite club, the owners were very clear on what the rules were and one strike your out. Sounds like the clubs you have been visiting are more interested in the money.

Reading this post kinda made me think you are pushing your wife into an uncomfortable situation. It might be best to find out the reason for her being uncomfortable. Some things like a strict father or strong religious beliefs can be overcome somewhat eventually. Other issues, like an inability to have sex without an emotional bond, or when sex causes an emotional bond, can be more difficult or impossible to overcome. Lastly, she may be holding out because she knows that if she lets go, she will really let go and be a huge slut, and that scares her. Try to remember that the woman's brain looks at sex way different than men. You have put your wife in your fantasy but it's not hers. There is probably a lot of unspoken fear on her side.

I could say about it's been extremely pleasure when my wife plays with my nipples I would take that any day over a BJ, if I was given a choice, she is the same she can orgasm by me just sucking her nipples while I play with her

Yes we really like it , when we start for play with my wife she enjoys putting her finger in me and the orgasm I gave after she plays with my ass is outstanding, really, but never looked at it any further we like enjoying our bodies and sexuality together, it's just another form of sex or you might call it a forplay

Owing to the fact that I showed symptoms, I withdrew from swing activity for eighteen months. The HPV is now resolved in my system in a way that makes me unable to pass it to anybody else. For this reason I have no need to tell a prospective playmate about my HPV history. Don't have a context for HPV positive as there is no test for a man that would indicate a positive or a negative.

Like, POOF! I'm bi? I don't think people just 'become' anything. It's either there or it isn't. What I do think is that it is much more allowed, encouraged, and acceptable (and it makes most guys crazy). It also gives girls a type of 'power' over guys and they like playing with that power. It's now just okay and 'safe' to allow ones bi side out (or even to just pretend) so that is happening more often.

Oh, boy. I already posted in the 'fantasies fulfilled' thread, but since this one is open to non-swinging... I'm about 22, I used to fool around with a 30-something latina who hated her live-in boyfriend's guts. She'd drop by my apartment downtown maybe once or twice a week. (Not the most ethical situation, but the guy really was a clown and I didn't give it a second thought, being at an age where I was more than happy to get in wherever I fit in.) One day, she's riding me and when she gets a glimpse out the window, goes "oh, shit". It's a third-floor walkup and she's looking down at her boyfriend on the sidewalk, trying to figure out where she went. This doesn't stop her, she just keeps an eye on him while she keeps working my cock. After she cums, biting her lip and all that, while looking down at him, she gets off, removes the condom, finishes me in her mouth like it's an emergency, spits into my kitchen sink, gets dressed and goes out the back window and down the fire escape to sit in a bar on the other side of the courtyard behind my apartment and text her boyfriend like that's where she's been the whole time. We timed our meetups a little more carefully after that, she finally kicked him out not long after.

I think I have to take GoldCoCouple's side on this one. If we ran into you guys at a club and you and my wife agreed to play and we were watching, if he jumped into the middle of it and started groping my wife I think I would have to say something. That is just not good LS manners. I'm honestly not sure if he has the maturity to be in the LS. Maybe someday, but his actions now say otherwise.

Swinging is a team activity. Your boundaries should also be his boundaries. If one person says no to something, then you are BOTH saying no...always...no repercussions or reasons needed. If one of you says no or sets a boundary, then that is the boundary for both of you PERIOD. He needs to be made aware of this. We understand what you are saying here. Making love and having sex isn't the same thing. One is fun while the other is intimate. You both should talk about the differences so he has a better understanding of what the differences are. This is (at least) a yellow flag. You both need to trust each other totally and be able to tell the other anything and everything. Since it sounds like this isn't the case (his defensiveness stops you from talking about something disturbing you) you need to fix this issue before continuing. Love/trust/communication: you must have all three in abundance to be successful in swinging. Even with play partners that we have known for years, we both ASK PERMISSION before we start initiating contact with a different partner (and they do the same). 'Is it okay if I touch as well?' is just politeness. In this case, a 'we're not quite done with each other yet' should have been enough to tell him to at least wait. He needs to be reminded to use his manors when asking to borrow the next door neighbors lawn mower...or his neighbors wife, and not take it personally if the answer is 'I'm using it right now, you can borrow it when we're done'. Yellow flag is now red. You two are teammates and it doesn't sound like he wants to be on your team. My SO is the most important thing in my life and I would never do anything to hurt her...even a little. If she were to say we need to stop this, I would in a second and never look back. I would never make her feel bad about wanting to talk with me about anything. Great communication is a requirement to a strong relationship, swingers or not, but especially if you are swinging. If he doesn't understand this, then you probably need to at least take a break from swinging until you get the communication issue fixed. That is so hot...sorry, side tracked. The most important thing to me is to see that my partner has a great time and is able to fulfill her fantasies. Second is that the other woman also is having a great time. Last comes me having a great time (because if your partner had a great time, and the other woman had a great time, how is it possible for me NOT to have a great time?). She (my SO) is the most important thing to me and will always come first. It sounds like he needs to be reminded of this. It's not just about him, it's about both of you having a great time together. Men who think it's all about themselves usually end up alone with them self. Work on your communication. Maybe even bring him here and show him this thread. We would love to hear his side as well. Good luck and let us know how things are progressing.

As experienced as you stated the other couple is, doesn't sound like it. I would have expected the other couple to be able to read you guys. But like someone else mentioned in the heat of the moment things happen. Take it as a learning experience, and have a safe word to stop all activities and stick to it. As far as showing your other how much you care about him, show him your post (it's very sincere). Best of luck to you both.

This is a pretty fun thread!! This past New Years Kiko and I were at Couple's Choice here in Chicago. Typically New Years is fun but not a lot of play, people get pretty drunk. Anyhow clock strikes 12 and we figure nothing was going to happen. I go to the bathroom and on my way back notice a couple is playing in the bondage room with the doors open, so people can watch. I run over and give Kiko the heads ups. We go over to the viewing area/ door and start watching this naked red head getting whipped with a belt while she was strapped to the wall. I suggest a blindfold, which she eagerly agrees to. So myself and her partner blindfold her( not even sure what article of clothing we used). Then I suggest he mix in something soft with the belt. We use my shirt with he and my wife using the belt and me driving her wild with the shirt. So at this point a bit of a crowd has gathered. So now the girls ( there were like four including the red head and Kiko ) are taking turns spanking each other bottoms while I gave them the soft sensation of my shirt!! So now the guy in the couple that originally has the room kicks everybody out and asks us to stay. Kiko and I agree, he begins to introduce himself and the red head yells...'No, no names', that I remember DISTINCTLY. In fact Kiko and I still joke about it. So the red head demands to be locked up again and spanked harder. So until this time I hadn't really spanked anyone, but since she wanted to be spanked harder, everyone looked at me. It's not really my thing, the soft part earlier is definitely, but hey she was a hot naked red head demanding me to spank her. Anyhow my wife, Kiko and the other guy start entertaining themselves on the one side of the big bed in the room, the red head and I, after a good spanking did likewise on the other side. and 'no names'...great night.

There's not much better than that! The combined flavors after they cum is pretty darn tasty!

This may be too focused but wth. As a bisexual with a strong oral fixation, the high point of my sexual life was licking a pussy being fucked.

Well, I thought the story was exciting. I love hearing about enthusiastic wives in this type of situation. We always focused on single men. We never felt anything close to danger. The guys were all on their very best behavior. The back seat can be a dangerous place to be trapped but it can also be a very hot place to have savage desires unfold. This life is risky, this hobby is risky, it's part of the draw. My wife has said to me on several occasions, as we walk up to a hotel room, 'we could be killed in the next few minutes' 'yep' I'd reply as I knock. Heart beating out of my chest and every nerve tingling, 'fuckin alive right now'!

Everytime Ms Dive has brought one of her friends home to "play in the pool", it is a fantasy fulfilled. She definitely knows who is gonna turn me on. Have we been together too long? Nah, just getting started.........

My most memorable moment didn't even involve sex. We were having a custom home built. The builder I'd selected was about our age and my wife thought he was good looking. His wife was a complete knockout. We became more than clients and had become pretty good friends during the months the house was being built. One evening we were at their home. During conversation something was said about something and a certain man's name was mentioned. This was a man that my wife and I had swinging experiences with and we, instantly, knew that if they knew him too then we shared something special with them. There was a moment of silence as all four of us knew what had been revealed, then there were big grins all around. That sure expanded the friendship.

Events that stand out most in my memory... The time, at the club, when a guy had my wife bent over a foot rest/ottoman and thrust into her so hard both the ottoman and the wife basically went flying across the room. We promptly decided to relocate to an actual bed... and four or five guys from the audience followed, and eventually joined in. The time, also at the club, when I was watching my wife in a threesome with two guys and another guy, sitting next to me, said how beautiful she was and how he wished he could have a chance with someone like her. I encouraged him to ask her, once one of her play partners finished, and sure enough he got his wish. Finally, my first time with the young lady who was my friend-with-benefits for about a year. Seeing a strong, smart, kind of sarcastic young lady suddenly look shy and hesitant as we kissed for the first time... just wow. Given how that whole thing ended, that one's bitter sweet but I don't regret it.

Definitely the first occasion of having two women in the same bed giving me their attention. All the more memorable owing to the fact that the activity was sufficiently vigorous to collapse the bed frame. The people downstairs heard the crash and come upstairs to investigate. They found the three of us laughing so hard, we were almost splitting our guts.

Your darn right you are - granted the other couple may do this and fine that's them - your real problem here is your wife who is OK with still making you feel this way by NOT stopping the text and cutting you out of it ( that's what i got from your post ) as for You over reacting, Put the golden slipper she's wearing on the other foot and see if she do not have some thing to say about you not taking her feelings into account. You see it's all good for one to have fun but you guys are in this together - now i don't care if it was male or female posting the same would be said. When you two forget who is important in your life then whats the point - if she can not see that it upsets you and can not stop then yes you have a problem a big one. Ask her this is, Is sex with him worth so much that she can not consider your feelings, whether you and right or wrong is irrelevant your her partner not him! and if this was a girl posting about a guy this forum would be up in arms.

When my wife plays with mine, it's like there is a line from my nipples straight down to my balls. Major turn on! Conversely, my wife is able to achieve orgasm thru nipple stimulation alone. Makes for some fun times!

Sex is sex. Don't make it so complicated.

Sucking a cock...is that gay, straight, or bi? Gay men do it so it's gay. But gay women don't do it, so it's not gay. Women do it so it's straight, but bi guys do it too, so it's bi. The action isn't orientation. People are gay, bi, or straight, or any of the million flavors between.

It never ceases to amaze me the level of ignorance today about what is gay. People are gay, actions are not. Gay is a sexual preference, not an action. The act of fucking a man in the ass is not gay; it's people who are gay. A woman doing anything to a man's ass is never gay. An act is an act, whether sexual or not. Gay is the person not the act. Sad also is the level of fear of being called gay, especially when ignorance suggests an act makes you gay. To not have experienced a strap-on in your ass makes a man inexperienced in what it feels like to be penetrated. To understand penetration physically enables a man to be a better lover. Fearing it only makes you fearful.

Yummy. I love watching gay porn, makes me SO wet. My husband has sucked and been sucked. He isn't bi at all - just open minded about what feels good. Lately he's been talking a lot about wanting to get fucked in the ass by a real cock (and not just me with a strap-on LOL). I hope we can make this fantasy of his come true!! MY fantasy is for him to fuck me while he's getting fucked in the ass. Talk about orgasm!!!! Lol

So cheer up, there is always someone bigger than you, but hey there are things more important than that. >>>>>>>>>>>. sorry about that, lets try this again. Im a little familiar with some jealousy issues, not really jealous, but ... not comfortable i guess. we had this regular for a MFM for awhile, he was a great guy, real nice, real caring about both of us ... had a large "tool" and could keep going a long time. i guess it was obvious i was having an excellent time. hubby felt kinda bad cause it was obvious i was loving a tool bigger and longer lasting than his ... i managed to convince him that even though the sex was great, only one person has my heart .. that seemed to do the trick jana

I consider myself bi to very bi although I would never consider having a woman as a "partner" so to speak. I enjoy women very much...not just the sex but to look at and admire. I find the woman body very sexy and sexually attractive. I really love going to the mall and picking out the sexy ladies for each other to stare at and flirt with and tease. I really love the attention from the ladies also. I think I pick up on more women than hubby does and flirt with them when he isn't around so I am not doing this just to turn him on although that is an extra benefit!! As much as I love playing with women though, I NEED a man. I am not satisfied with just women. They are fun to get things going but when it comes down to it I need a man to get me over the edge!!