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So I ran into an old college flame named Cheri over the weekend. I can tell by the way her husband stared at me that Cheri must have told him about our adventures when we dated. Very uncomfortable, but damn it was fun! We had sex often and we did it everywhere. In the dorm, in the parking lot, outside the library, in the computer lab (late, late at night), on the football field, in the locker room - we both got horny thinking we might get caught. Thinking about her brought back memories about a vacation she, I and classmates went on to Aruba my senior year. It was me and Cheri and 4 other couples. We knew all the other couples except one. Their names were Mike and Tasha. Cheri was the best looking female of the group but Tasha was a very close second. She was tall, long black hair, and perfect size tits. She had an athletic body without a pound of fat. Starting at the airport, we all drank the entire weekend. We were the life of the party at every club. We did every tour the island had to offer. For those 4 days everyone on the island knew us. On our last night we didn't go out to a club. We stayed inside the resort and played couples games and drank. After our 3rd or 4th game, someone had the idea of going to the beach. I think it was around 1am. The beach was dark but there was a full moon so we could somewhat see. We played in the water and walked the shore. Suddenly, someone screamed "let's all get naked". Before I could even react, Cheri and everyone else were butt naked. I quickly threw off my clothes. My first thought was to find Tasha and Mike. I had to see Tasha's beautiful body. So I told Cheri let's walk around and find them. I finally found Tasha and Mike sitting in the sand. She looked as I thought she would - gorgeous! We told them we were looking for them. They told us they were looking for us too. I noticed Mike didn't take his eyes off Cheri. Cheri noticed too so she teased him by opening her legs for him showing her freshly shaved pussy. Immediately he lowered his arm over his dick trying to conceal his boner. Just then the rest of the group found us and said we should get dressed because some people were now walking around. So we all got dressed and walked back to the resort. As we walked passed the resort pool and jacuzzi, Cheri said she wanted to get in. The pool area was closed. There was nobody around and all the main lights were off. She jumped in and we all joined her. We sat there talking and drinking for about 45 minutes when I suggest playing truth or dare. The game started off calm but as time went on and the more we drank the wilder the game got. One girl was dared to show us how she masturbated. A guy was dared to show everyone how long his dick was. Another guy was dared to run around the resort naked. I dare Tasha to give every guy a lap dance. Cheri was dared to suck her tits - which I joined her. By this time, everyone was really horny so everyone started to get out the water and go back to their rooms to supposedly fuck! I pulled Cheri onto my lap and told her I wanted to stay. As the other couples got out I subconsciously wanted Mike and Tasha to stay. When they started to get out, Mike looked back at me. I have him a head nod hoping he would understand. Suddenly he stopped and whispered something into Tasha's ear and they both returned to the water and she sat on his lap directly across from us. Before I knew it we were the only couples left. For about 5 minutes we all just sat in the jacuzzi not saying anything. Cheri broke the quiet by asking Mike and Tasha if they were comfortable. My dick started to get hard. Cheri felt it and with her back to me started to rub her pussy on my dick. Tasha started to do the same thing to Mike. I reached around Cheri and started rubbing her pussy through her bikini. I then pulled her top down exposing her beautiful breast to them. I looked over at them and Tasha was rubbing her pussy on Mike as well but they were intensely staring at us. Cheri flipped around and we started kissing passionately. I placed her breast into my mouth and sucked her nipple. When I moved to the other nipple, there was already a female's hand there. Tasha and Mike had moved next to us and she was feeling Cheri's tits. That did it for Cheri, because she started tugging at my shorts for me to remove. As I did this she pulling her bikini bottom to the side and sat on my dick. She started to ride my dick as she's never done before. Tasha pulled Mike's dick out his shorts and stroked it while they watched. Finally she stood up and removed both her top and bottom and sat on Mike's dick. We both stared at each other as we fucked. Our favorite position was doggy style because our hips meet right at the right spot. So now I'm fucking Cheri doggy style in the jacuzzi. Cheri grabbed Tasha tits as we fucked in front of them. I couldn't hold my climax anymore and exploded inside Cheri so hard I thought I might pass out. We both collapsed into the water and watched Mike and Tasha. Tasha looked so beautiful riding Mike. He finally came inside her. After Mike finished they laid next to us and Tasha kissed Cheri and said thank you. We told them thank you back. The next morning we all went to the airport together. We kept smiling and laughing with Mike and Tasha. The other couples wanted to know what was so funny but we told them what happens in Aruba stays in Aruba! I wonder if Cheri told her husband everything about Aruba.

Laura and I thought this was one of the best benefits of swinging,KC. It worked out best with a couple who were long-term playmates. We had just swapped partners before. He was a university professor who traveled for speaking engagements. She was an executive for a local oil company and traveled all over the world on business. It began when Mrs. Playmate called us from London. She had been talking with Mr. Playmate, who had told her he was really horny and looked forward to her return. She asked if we'd like to call Mr. Playmate and invite him over for a threesome. She offered to return the favor when she was back in the country. Mrs. Alura loved the idea. She called Mr. Playmate and said, "Hi, Mr. Playmate! I heard [your wife] is out of town and was wondering if you'd like to come over and help Mr. Alura fuck me?" As it turned out he was able to come over the nest morning at 10AM. Laura met him at the door in a negligee, gave him a hot kiss, and the fun began. Laura was able to fulfill several fantasies, trying to suck two cocks at once, sucking one while the other fucked her doggy style. As events unfolded Mr. Playmate had to go to Houston a month later. Mrs. Playmate invited us to their house for time in their hot tub and time in their hot bed. But it didn't end there. On swap nights, when all four were present, one sometimes sat out and watched before joining in for our usual foursome. I encourage y'all to pursue the idea. It's more fun than you might imagine.

The club idea is good, but it's an hour away and a $30 cover. I'm not asking for a three hour dinner with people, just a couple drinks. We can tell in 5 minutes if it's a yes or no.

We don't do dinners/blind dates either but we wouldn't post it on a profile, or tell it to a prospective couple. Red flags would go up for us too. Out of curiosity, I wouldn't be able to help myself from asking them to explain the comment though. We simply agree to meet at clubs, although a Starbucks date sounds brilliant. I love what Sun&Moon posted. I think time & discretion plays a huge role in relationships in the lifestyle. I simply have a hard time seeing us bringing play partners to a family event, and still keeping our sexlife on the DL.

Make sure that they know that you are both on the same page and excited to do this. It's not just the man dragging the woman along with her not wanting to really participate (we had one woman tell us when her husband stepped away that she is doing this just the one time to 'satisfy' her husband...like he would be done with doing it the one time). Let them know your limits and boundaries. Also, that you might be new, but you are both ready to proceed and are bringing no drama. You are a tight secure couple and this or anything else isn't going to damage the relationship you already have. You are not looking for a replacement for her (and vice versa). When you meet a potential couple, you need to feel comfortable with bringing the topic of sex up. We have also met couples where they almost seem afraid to mention sex. This can put off some other couples since sex is the reason you are even meeting. Just be open and honest with what you want, expect, and already know. It comes across as confidence (which it actually is) and lets others know that you are in this as a team and are going to stay together as a team. Of course, only say these things if they are true. If not, then you still have some work to do before continuing. Not nervous or anxious, but it's excitement tempered with the unknown since you never really know what will happen until you cross this bridge. Good luck and let us know how things go for you two.

That's unusual in our experience. Usually, they are friendly enough in the "good" shops, and more than willing to assist when asked. We haven't received the used car salesman treatment before, so not sure how we'd handle it. I don't think it would freak us out, but it would surprise us I suppose. Knowing us, we'd probably go with the flow and put their ass to work finding us the perfect item. But that's us. Every person has their own comfort level and the clerk should realize that.

I think if surgery is for you and not for anyone else, then it can be the right decision. It's easy for a lack of self-confidence in one area to bleed over into other areas of your life, so if you feel confident the procedure is going to help with that, then that's probably a decision you will be happy with. Back to your original question about how can any woman with X,Y, or Z issue compete with a woman who doesn't have those. As a guy, I'll tell you the answer - if someone thinks I'm sexy then it's almost a given I'm going to think that about them with very few exceptions, and when those exceptions happen, it's going to be about personality, not physical. It's kind of what was mentioned above about sexiness comes from within. I don't think anyone will figure out how chemistry between two people fully works, but I do know for a fact it's not a number on a scale, whether you look the same now as you did five years ago, etc.

That's for damn sure. I'm not forcing her to do anything. You don't know my wife, but you cannot force her to do anything. She has to do things at her own pace and at her own comfort level at the time. She loves the thought of thousands of men looking at her body, she actually admitted that to me yesterday. And I'm I also love the thought that all of these men want her badly and that at the end of the day she's always coming home with me.

We do drinks and appetizers. 45 minutes and goodbye if we are not interested...that's how we roll. Invite you over to play without a vanilla meet - no way.

Thanks for the insight GoldCoCouple, it's definitely some food for thought. Well, were headed out to dinner, hope we all get along. I'm pretty excited for another group experience, feels almost like dating again

It's hard to tell what is in Pandora's box until you have already opened it. Don't rush into a hard swap...take your time. Plan on and talk with the other couple about just a soft swap this time and then maybe next time...As already said, make sure that you have a 'safe word' or phrase that tells your partner if things are okay or if either of you are having problems with what is happening. Also, make sure that you keep checking on her to make sure that she is fine as well (too many times one side of a couple gets preoccupied in the other person and doesn't make sure that their spouse is okay). Don't go faster than the slowest member of the group. Also, nobody should feel pressure to do anything they don't want to. More than likely you will find out that you are okay with everything that is going on, but you need to have a plan if either of you aren't. Always keep talking with your spouse, too much communication is rarely a bad thing. Good luck with this next step and let us know what happens and how things went.

Your experiences (and gas mileage) may vary. We've been seeing our FWB for going on 4 years. Sometimes we play, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we go to concerts together, or vacation, or wine tasting, or boating, or just spend time talking. We have always said that we wanted to be friends first and then the benefits would come afterwards and that's still how we roll. There is ALMOST NOTHING better than being about to spend time with friends and know that you can talk about anything (especially sex) and not just undress them with your eyes ('almost nothing' since having a partner that is on board with all of this IS better). In fact, it has made spending time with 'just friends' a bit less exciting knowing that we need to be careful of some of the things we say and that casual touching may not be as welcomed. The lines can become blurry at times and we do occasionally mix our FWB with our friends...they are both friends first. We're sorry that you haven't found another couple that you completely 'click' with. Keep looking and while it isn't easy to find, it IS possible. It is also really amazing when it happens.

My late wife and I used to meet couples for the first time in the afternoon at the coffee shop in a local book store. It offered a non-threatening atmosphere and an easy exit for both couples, if needed. If the meeting was not a good one, we could buy a couple of books to ease the boredom.

I would offer to meet them at a club or meet and greet.

I think if you're that far from speaking openly about this that you're trying to surreptitiously slip her some swinging SPAM, that you should definitely work on communication about sex first. Once the idea is out there, you're going to need to have a lot of pretty frank conversations for this to work.

Bring here here to Swingersboard. She will be able to see that we are normal people.

Funny you should ask for an update. Here it is flashback style. On Saturday night we went to our first house party. Rules and play plans discussed. Nothing went as planned, but all for the good and we had a wonderful time. We group played with 2 other couples and left with that wonderful Lifestyle high that comes from a rock the world play session. On the way home my wife says the gentleman she was with asked for her phone number and she told him no. She told him she gets herself into too much trouble. She then told me that when the texting with the smitten husband began she got a taste of the LS high. The night we played with this couple, she got a LS high from being with him, but it was the first time it wasn't experienced by us both and all playdates after that didn't provide a significant LS high. It didn't take long for her to get addicted to getting the high every day through his text and then it turned to sexting. It replaced the high we weren't getting from subsequent playtimes. He was kind and attentive telling her what she wanted to hear. She admitted it was like an addiction and we all know to the addict it's all about the high, nothing or no one else matters. That was a huge admission and the first time I sensed regret. She was sorry for the hurt she caused me. The flashback. My wife had a relapse last Friday. I got suspicious when I mentioned something about our problem couple and her body language changed and her response was not what I suspected. Turns out the smitten husband and her had been texting throughout the day, but she had deleted the conversation like she had done previously when I asked to see her phone. So we are finally alone for the evening she's in a good mood and affectionate. I'm a powder charge ready to blow trying to figure out how to calmly start the conversation without going right to angry hurtful and say things you can't take back. Ultimately she senses my mood and says "you're mad at me aren't you"? I told her I was going to pull up some info on the computer and have her read it and we'd talk. I had been researching ”emotional infidelity” “emotional affairs” “cyber cheating’ etc. I showed her a series of 3 memes. The first said “AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR - Is toxic to your relationship with your spouse and will cause serious damage to the marriage whether or not it ever becomes sexual”. The second explained some of the key points of the affair. Denial of wrongdoing, “we're just friends we didn't do anything” and stating it can be worse than sexual infidelity because there can be sex without emotion but emotion is the key element in this kind of affair. The third said “CHEATING doesn't mean you have to kiss, meet, or have sex with someone else - once you find yourself deleting messages so your partner will not see them, then you already are there”. At that point she knew how serious this was to me and blocked the numbers. What still bugged me was the “I get it, it happened, I'll stop, get over it and drop it” attitude. Even after a discussion of dishonesty and the loss of my trust. So all day Saturday I felt that all I solved was the current problem and would be questioning her honesty and whether she could ever gain my trust waiting for it to happen again. So you can see how relieved I was to hear her thoughts Saturday night. Bottom line for us and this makes sense that it really isn't a person that loves you going out of their way to hurt you. It was getting sucked into an additive activity where the high meant everything. Nothing else was even on the radar. How many smokers have had family members beg and plead for them to stop and it falls on deaf ears. We were lucky because from an addiction standpoint this was easy to deal with once it was seen for what it was. We're good now and realize the need to be careful. Who was it that stated their wife said we're playing with gasoline. That is so true. An additional discussion we had was as a long term married couple, we get complacent in the simple interactions with our spouse. We don't ask about their workout, because we see the sweat and flushed face. We don't have to tell them they are beautiful, they should just know it. Do we walk up and whisper what we'd like to do to them when we're finally alone. I'm going to work harder at being far less complacent with the love of my life of 43 years and my true soulmate. Thanks everyone and If this helps anyone else I'm happy.

Having a connection with your play partner only makes it better...more exciting. Just as long as that connection doesn't interfere with your relationship with your actual partner. As long as the two things can be kept separate, everything's good (great, in fact). Machiavel55:

I am not a woman, just a man that is with a woman, but honestly if your husband has insecurities about penis size I don't know that the lifestyle is such a great idea for you! There is going to be all sorts of shapes and sizes of cocks out there and there will always be someone bigger out there. Unless you screen all potential guys penis size and only choose partners smaller then him this insecurity will pop up again. All you can do is keep reassuring him that the size of cock doesn't mean anything to you. A big cock is really not as big of a deal in the lifestyle as some seem to think it is from what we have seen and heard on our journey so far. As for the moaning thing if it is not your thing don't fake it for someone just, because they comment about how quite you are! If they can't appreciate the way you react to being fucked they can go fuck themselves. There is nothing that turns me on about a woman sounding like they do in the fake porns. Just be you always. The real people appreciate it. I hope you two can just take a step back and work this out! Tell him you have no interest in moving on with the lifestyle seeing how he reacts and how much it hurts him. Be honest with each other about both of your feeling, don't hold grudges, understand and spend some time rebuilding your bond together. Good luck!

I LOVE this line Stewart! I am going to have to tell hubby about that one