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Laura and I thought this was one of the best benefits of swinging,KC. It worked out best with a couple who were long-term playmates. We had just swapped partners before. He was a university professor who traveled for speaking engagements. She was an executive for a local oil company and traveled all over the world on business. It began when Mrs. Playmate called us from London. She had been talking with Mr. Playmate, who had told her he was really horny and looked forward to her return. She asked if we'd like to call Mr. Playmate and invite him over for a threesome. She offered to return the favor when she was back in the country. Mrs. Alura loved the idea. She called Mr. Playmate and said, "Hi, Mr. Playmate! I heard [your wife] is out of town and was wondering if you'd like to come over and help Mr. Alura fuck me?" As it turned out he was able to come over the nest morning at 10AM. Laura met him at the door in a negligee, gave him a hot kiss, and the fun began. Laura was able to fulfill several fantasies, trying to suck two cocks at once, sucking one while the other fucked her doggy style. As events unfolded Mr. Playmate had to go to Houston a month later. Mrs. Playmate invited us to their house for time in their hot tub and time in their hot bed. But it didn't end there. On swap nights, when all four were present, one sometimes sat out and watched before joining in for our usual foursome. I encourage y'all to pursue the idea. It's more fun than you might imagine.

Thanks for all prospectives to this, she had told me that he used to dabble into the lifestyle with his ex and wants to get back into it( so does every other guy out there) I also agree that it would be a bad idea to allow him to join being he does come her work

Until I did a search because of your question did I find out that you are right...ish. I did find several sites that say an anklet is a sign that a woman is a hotwife: Although they quickly show an anklet with the female symbol and two male symbols or the letters H W (or in special cases the letter Q and the spades symbol indicating that the woman is interested only in black men). This, however, is the first time I know of it being brought up here as a sign (hotwives fall under the swinging umbrella) and we have talked about swinger signs and indications more than a few times with this never making the list (black rings, Tide boxes in the window, white landscape rocks all made the list). Personally, I find anklets attractive and have never connected them to anything other than being jewelry. I think that as long as you stay away from certain letters it should be okay...but then again, you are asking the question on a swingers site.

Maybe think about visiting a club or nudist resort...not to play, just to visit. If she isn't feeling sexy anymore, once she sees the ranges of people at a club/resort, she most likely will realize that she isn't 'that' bad (if that's her in your avatar, she's actually pretty great). Other options includes taking her shopping for some sexy clothes. If it's just her not feeling sexy, you can help with this and get her going back into the right direction. Sexy has nothing to do with beauty (which is only skin deep). Sexy is an attitude that comes from deep inside and always trumps beauty. If it's that she just doesn't enjoy playing anymore, then until she is ready to start again (if she is ever ready to start again) you are both done (team effort). Also, maybe take a look at how you can grow your relationship with her. Maybe she just isn't feeling as connected with you as she used to. No matter what the reason, it never hurts to build on the relationship. Please keep us updated as to how things are going.

NO! This is a very bad idea (search swinging with friends). First, it's someone that she knows and both are already attracted to each other. He's not attracted to her thinking about you still being in this mix. He wants her, and most likely not just for a night and not with you in the room. Second, if it were to happen and later things go south, is she willing to loose her job? If it's someone who comes into her office then it can easily get out as to what 'happened'. Once that cat is out of the bag, how long would she be effective continuing to work there? Once this gets out to the office, how long before it gets out to everyone? Third, taking someone who ISN'T a swinger and trying to make them into one is rarely a good plan. They just aren't prepared for everything it entails. He is probably looking for a partner, not just a plaything. With SO MANY single men already in the L/S looking for women, it's just much safer and easier to pick one of them. The risk/reward is just too high and chances of drama too great.

I'd be curious as to why you're reluctant. Since you are swingers, she's already been intimate with other men. Is it that you're jealous? Is it simply because this is a new situation? Is it because you're worried she might develop 'feelings' for the guy? Is it because while she's getting some from someone else, you won't? (A perceived 'unfairness.' Why are you having these feelings? Once you understand that, then you can decide whether to let her go ahead, or put a stop to it. Good luck.

We were involved with a couple that was very into us. My wife was a hotwife in addition to us swinging, the other couple knew that. Once, when my wife was going to be out of town for awhile, I called up the other wife and asked if maybe they'd like to have a threesome with me. I still remember her words: "Of course, you know you didn't even have to ask."

Only if you wife wears an ankle bracelet that reads "I'm a bull dyke" or similar such will she have any worry.

I would be included as well. We talked about my concerns. She reassured me it's just sex, just like every other time. She wants to try DP this time around which is her real fantasy about bringing in another man. She does not want a couple this time around because she wants to be the center of attention. Guess what bothered me is that she had ran into someone at her work,and had been messaging and flirting without me, since before we only talked to unicorns and couples through a group chat with all parties involved. I brought up the idea that we can find an attractive stranger for this and she seems excited about it.

You know, from what you wrote, it sounds like she's met a guy that she'd really love to have sex with but is trying to make it OK by having it include you. If you're not feeling good about a threesome but want to please your wife, why not give her a kitchen pass? I don't know about you but I'd love it if my wife wanted to go out with someone by herself. And, keep in mind, there are lots of couples who swing separately.

Sometimes people enjoy this sort of thing for a while and then just lose interest, for any number of reasons. My wife lost interest about 15, or so, years ago. And, yes, I've tried to get her interested again many times. But I finally realized it had to be her own idea and I simply make sure she knows that, if she changes her mind, I'm all for it. This is something you both have to want. Her, going along for you is only going to make her more against it later.

This was easy for us. We are friends with couple and we are all comfortable with all the situations that come up. I think you should be comfortable with them as a couple before bringing up threesomes.

I think honestly, Kasidie is the up and coming site to look at. The parties they throw at clubs are great. SDC also attracts many people to their events. My experience with SLS is that for parties, it does not attract a crowd. We were in Europe and SDC was even strong over there. I have seen people question SLS often...

My husband and I are extremely active in the lifestyle, have been swinging for over 10 years. We have profiles on SDC and SLS but right after signing up decided we prefer not to meet couples that way. We are lucky to live close to a very busy club. I wouldn't put so much emphasis on certs as I have seen many couples I know with tons of them and I know for a fact they don't swing much, just have many friends. Last time I checked we had quite a few people who tried to cert us and we didn't accpept them. We also don't like to kiss and tell. Nobodies business who we play with.

If my husband was texting a playmate a lot and it bothered me, I would tell them. Sounds like fairly standard flirting at this point though. Be clear about what it is that bothers you. Too much texting or too much attention directed to someone who is not you? Do you want to set guidelines about how often they can text or have some block out times when neither of you text others? Open communication is key

We have been living the "hotwife" lifestyle for over a year now. Bad experiences: finding honest good hard men for her, very difficult. They email, they talk and flirt then fail to take her out. aka married and cheating I guess? Dick failure to launch, Only a few times but come on we have viagra today! Non performance makes her feel terrible unattractive the worst. We screen and select only varified men from sdc and sls so no rough stuff yet. She takes her time getting to know the man but Im still worried about that first date with a new man.