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I originally read this thread back when it was originally active and it made me think. After reading this thread I discussed this with my wife. You see we have a rather "complicated" relationship with our doctor. Yes OUR doctor. We share the same doctor, but we also share the same church with the doctor and we are also very good friends with her. We mutually came to the agreement that we would tell our doctor during our last physical, which occurred about a month ago. We were supposed to have our physicals together like last year, but instead ended up having them on the same day a few hours apart. We had agreed that I would be the one to tell her. When I was alone in the room with the Doctor and she was going thru the usual questions about your health etc, she was coming to the end of the process and when she asked if there was anything else, I became very serious and just to make sure she understood that things were fixing to get serious asked her, "I believe it is very important for my doctor to know about anything in my life that could affect my health, would you agree?" Of course she said yes, "so anything we talk about here will stay in this room and you can't tell anyone else?" A little taken aback by the change in tone, said, "yes that's right." And then I asked her if she could leave it out of her notes. She then said that I might have to remind her of it in about 5 years because she would probably forget it. She was wrong. I then told her that we were involved in the "Swinging Lifestyle, do you know what that is? She then said, "think I do, but could you help me be sure." I told her it was partner swapping, then went on to tell her we always practice safe sex with condoms. (A little bit of a fib, we generally don't for oral) This relaxed her a good bit and then we went on to discuss the importance of practicing safe sex which I agree completely with and we discussed us going to the local heath clinic and getting STD screening a couple times a year and she seemed to be much more comfortable after understanding that we actually did kinda "know what we were doing." After the fact we are both very comfortable that we told her and would only have done this in that exact setting with the full knowledge that it was in her official capacity. I guess this just goes to show that some of these very thoughtful conversations on this board can actually affect people's actions.

I'll add two stories since there was some interest: - My high school sweetheart and I broke it off when she went to college, but we continued to meet up a few times for a year for a couple years. We both knew we'd moved on to other partners physically and it was no big deal, and we'd had a little exhibitionist-type play in the past, but one day she ended up blowing a guy hanging out from another dorm with me and her roommate present. I'd screwed her after lunch and we screwed again that night while her roommate was studying on the top bunk. We didn't talk about it other than me getting the sense he was a regular visitor and that neither roommate gave much thought to the other being in the same room during sex. It was technically a female-only floor and that it was part of the campus culture that men to drop by to see who was in the mood. - Mrs. E - and I'm telling this story with express permission - technically gave her first blowjob in her freshman year of high school. For context, this was a middle-class city Catholic school with the uniforms and the whole nine yards. Her and her best friend, we'll call her L, had only just found out this was something the popular older girls do, and neither one picked up the subtext that there was any reason not to, so they resolved to start. They grabbed a couple of boys they knew at lunch and went into the woods, got on their knees, and gave them awkward, confused head for what "seemed like forever" until L's partner started complaining that her teeth were hurting him. Suddenly it clicked that this was probably somehow a mistake and they all parted ways. (I've met L, and she corroborated the story by her red-faced silence. Mrs. E didn't experiment again until the start of her junior year.)

SDC automatically adjusts ages as birthdays pass. SLS doesn't. For us, we try to keep the ages accurate on that site but may fall behind by a year of 2. When we're contacted on that site, we look at the year the couple joined and often, after looking at the pictures, do the math and come up with a more accurate age. For the most part, we have not run into many couples who are intentionally deceitful about their age.

My first LS experience happened too young for me to even realize it was a LS experience. When I was a teenager, I was allowed to go on a weekend trip with my girlfriend’s family. We were traveling with her parents and were going to visit her cousins who lived in a small coastal town about two hours away. Once we arrived, the parents all sat in the family room drinking wine and catching up while all the kids were left to their own devices. All in all, there were 8 teenagers there between family and friends and we were all in an oversized hot tub. It was extremely loud with 8 of us in there, the jets running and several conversations going on simultaneously. Since we were young and our whole relationship was based on how hot we were for each other, it was barely a surprise when I felt my girlfriend’s hand slide into my trunks; she began to stroke my cock. She continued talking to her cousins and I had to continue to try and respond in the right places when others spoke to me. Since I felt it was a little unfair, I worked my hand into the bottom half of her suit and began to finger her. She smiled at me and continued talking to her cousins. A few minutes later a couple of the other boys were roughhousing and distracting everyone enough that my girlfriend decided to try something more daring. She pulled my cock out of my swim suit unbeknownst to anyone else in the hot tub. She then rose up a bit and sat on my lap. While the boys continued to distract, she pulled the bottom of her suit to the side and stuck my cock in her. We could not actively fuck in this situation as it would have been far too obvious what was going on but she sat on my lap with my cock in her rocking back and forth a little with the jets. Nobody else knew what we were doing and everyone continued to talk normally including my girlfriend who was clearly getting off on doing what we were doing in front of everyone and not getting caught. Eventually she slyly slid off my lap back into her own seat as people started to talk about getting out. I quickly stuffed my dick back into my trunks thankful that I’d been too nervous to cum. I had to wait out the hard-on and exited the tub a few minutes after everyone else. My girlfriend and I never discussed this event afterward. It was not our only LS related experience and I certainly wish I had been in possession of the knowledge I have now back then... Please note that this was a long term relationship and in the attachment, she is 22.[ATTACH=CONFIG]8580[/ATTACH]

We like to create 4-way text/FB messages with couples if we are really interested in them. That way everyone knows what is going on.

Our standout in memory experience was our first swing club experience in London. Nude slow dancing, watching other couples have sex and then having a fairly large number of couples standing around a center of room sexy color spot lit round bed watch us have sex. It was our first experience having sex in front of other couples after we were married. At the time, it seemed the thing to do. P.S. we stuck together and did not play with others. Julie

Ours is a little different in that it's mostly the ladies doing the talking, but we started off and stay with the same general idea: there's no reason for me to be texting the other wife or vice versa. The last time we decided to meet I was handling the logistics for our visit, so the other wife had the other husband get in touch to talk.

For me, my most memorable swing event went like this. My wife and I were fairly active in the swing community, and we were contacted by another couple. We went back and forth for a couple of months, they seemed reluctant to meet, I didn’t push - after all, if they’re not ready, they’re just not ready, right? So, finally, they agreed to meet for drinks at a bar. We go over, have a great time, we invite them to our home, they accept. We sit around for over an hour, nothing is happening. I’m trying to make some moves on this sexy lady, but for one reason or another, it’s just not going anywhere. They’re getting ready to leave, the lady gives me a nice and very suggestive kiss as they’re at the door on the way out. I whisper into her ear, “Would you like to come upstairs with me?” To my surprise, she agrees and announces to her husband what she’s going to do. We head up to the master bedroom, go slow for a little while waiting for our spouses, and then when they don’t appear, we make wonderful love for over an hour. (The spouses were doing the same thing downstairs.) We became great friends with this couple, meeting with them often and traveling with them. Fifteen years later, our spouses are out of the picture. (One death, one divorce - not from swinging.) And that wonderful lady is now my girlfriend.

So I ran into an old college flame named Cheri over the weekend. I can tell by the way her husband stared at me that Cheri must have told him about our adventures when we dated. Very uncomfortable, but damn it was fun! We had sex often and we did it everywhere. In the dorm, in the parking lot, outside the library, in the computer lab (late, late at night), on the football field, in the locker room - we both got horny thinking we might get caught. Thinking about her brought back memories about a vacation she, I and classmates went on to Aruba my senior year. It was me and Cheri and 4 other couples. We knew all the other couples except one. Their names were Mike and Tasha. Cheri was the best looking female of the group but Tasha was a very close second. She was tall, long black hair, and perfect size tits. She had an athletic body without a pound of fat. Starting at the airport, we all drank the entire weekend. We were the life of the party at every club. We did every tour the island had to offer. For those 4 days everyone on the island knew us. On our last night we didn't go out to a club. We stayed inside the resort and played couples games and drank. After our 3rd or 4th game, someone had the idea of going to the beach. I think it was around 1am. The beach was dark but there was a full moon so we could somewhat see. We played in the water and walked the shore. Suddenly, someone screamed "let's all get naked". Before I could even react, Cheri and everyone else were butt naked. I quickly threw off my clothes. My first thought was to find Tasha and Mike. I had to see Tasha's beautiful body. So I told Cheri let's walk around and find them. I finally found Tasha and Mike sitting in the sand. She looked as I thought she would - gorgeous! We told them we were looking for them. They told us they were looking for us too. I noticed Mike didn't take his eyes off Cheri. Cheri noticed too so she teased him by opening her legs for him showing her freshly shaved pussy. Immediately he lowered his arm over his dick trying to conceal his boner. Just then the rest of the group found us and said we should get dressed because some people were now walking around. So we all got dressed and walked back to the resort. As we walked passed the resort pool and jacuzzi, Cheri said she wanted to get in. The pool area was closed. There was nobody around and all the main lights were off. She jumped in and we all joined her. We sat there talking and drinking for about 45 minutes when I suggest playing truth or dare. The game started off calm but as time went on and the more we drank the wilder the game got. One girl was dared to show us how she masturbated. A guy was dared to show everyone how long his dick was. Another guy was dared to run around the resort naked. I dare Tasha to give every guy a lap dance. Cheri was dared to suck her tits - which I joined her. By this time, everyone was really horny so everyone started to get out the water and go back to their rooms to supposedly fuck! I pulled Cheri onto my lap and told her I wanted to stay. As the other couples got out I subconsciously wanted Mike and Tasha to stay. When they started to get out, Mike looked back at me. I have him a head nod hoping he would understand. Suddenly he stopped and whispered something into Tasha's ear and they both returned to the water and she sat on his lap directly across from us. Before I knew it we were the only couples left. For about 5 minutes we all just sat in the jacuzzi not saying anything. Cheri broke the quiet by asking Mike and Tasha if they were comfortable. My dick started to get hard. Cheri felt it and with her back to me started to rub her pussy on my dick. Tasha started to do the same thing to Mike. I reached around Cheri and started rubbing her pussy through her bikini. I then pulled her top down exposing her beautiful breast to them. I looked over at them and Tasha was rubbing her pussy on Mike as well but they were intensely staring at us. Cheri flipped around and we started kissing passionately. I placed her breast into my mouth and sucked her nipple. When I moved to the other nipple, there was already a female's hand there. Tasha and Mike had moved next to us and she was feeling Cheri's tits. That did it for Cheri, because she started tugging at my shorts for me to remove. As I did this she pulling her bikini bottom to the side and sat on my dick. She started to ride my dick as she's never done before. Tasha pulled Mike's dick out his shorts and stroked it while they watched. Finally she stood up and removed both her top and bottom and sat on Mike's dick. We both stared at each other as we fucked. Our favorite position was doggy style because our hips meet right at the right spot. So now I'm fucking Cheri doggy style in the jacuzzi. Cheri grabbed Tasha tits as we fucked in front of them. I couldn't hold my climax anymore and exploded inside Cheri so hard I thought I might pass out. We both collapsed into the water and watched Mike and Tasha. Tasha looked so beautiful riding Mike. He finally came inside her. After Mike finished they laid next to us and Tasha kissed Cheri and said thank you. We told them thank you back. The next morning we all went to the airport together. We kept smiling and laughing with Mike and Tasha. The other couples wanted to know what was so funny but we told them what happens in Aruba stays in Aruba! I wonder if Cheri told her husband everything about Aruba.

One thing is that when you set up an account and enter your ages, that doesn't update as time progresses. Still, having your age 1,2,5 years off is different from it being 10+ years off. One is 'close enough' and can be from oversight, but 10+ is just deception and we stay away from people who start off with deception. If you can't be honest, you can't be with us.

This was the first time it happened, you then told her about it and the two of you talked about it. It sounds like she is now better aware of what you need and (I assume) will be more attentive in the future. There is nothing to be concerned about unless it continues to happen. There really isn't anything to overcome. Either the next time the two of you are paying more attention to each other 'in the moment' or she does the same thing again. If it is the first, then there isn't a problem, if it is the second, then there IS a problem. One time is a mistake, an accident. Something happening again and again is a problem. If you are both okay with it, give it another try and see what happens.

I'm sure a lot of us would love to hear more of your earlier experiences

I'd wager a lot of those of us who, in adult life, are this open-minded about sex, had some fairly adventurous experiences in our formative years that we weren't even aware were pushing boundaries. It'd be an interesting topic, I'm sure.

Not anymore Gold, we met too young. Learned that a relationship based solely on physical attraction lasts for 4 to 5 on-again/off-again difficult years. Very happy with my wife now though!

I'm surprised that nobody has brought this up yet... Sometimes a man's eyes will tell his brain 'look what I'm seeing, can you believe it?' and the brain will say 'why no, I don't believe it. Especially since my wife is here and what I'm seeing is NOT ALLOWED!'. Then, quite possibly for his first time, his 'little buddy' is asleep when he should be paying attention. He overlooks this issue the first time, but when it happens for the second time...all that advertising for little pills comes back to mind and he has now caught ED (dun, dun, dunnnnn). It can really mess with a man's mind and once he starting worrying about it, it usually will just become worse. Fortunately, thanks to several multi-billion dollar advertising campaigns (that usually helped cause the problem in the first place) there's a pill for this. An expensive, usually hard to ask your doctor for pill (but doctors are used to being asked). It's not your fault. It just happens. You need to let it go since you apologized for it. Learn from it and just make sure that it doesn't happen again. If he doesn't already know that he is your world (and you his) and you don't remind each other on a regular basis, you have much bigger issues. Talk to him and I'm sure it will be just fine.

Now I don't know your husband but, if it were me, I'd read your post here and understand. Hey, we men know how something new, sexually, can affect your better judgement in the heat of the moment! Just keep reassuring him and let time heal. It sounds like you have a good marriage and good marriages survive all.

One of my favorite memories is the time that my wife and I had her first full swap with another couple. Up until a certain point in that night, we had to been having a soft swap out with the other couple. Lots of wandering hands And oral between both couples. At one point my wife looked up and said "all right now, I don't care whose dick it is but somebody is going to fuck me now! " it was so hot to hear my wife be so blunt and into the experience. I promptly obliged and began to slide inside her briefly. I then watched another man have fun with my wife for the first time :-)

My most memorable moment didn't even involve sex. We were having a custom home built. The builder I'd selected was about our age and my wife thought he was good looking. His wife was a complete knockout. We became more than clients and had become pretty good friends during the months the house was being built. One evening we were at their home. During conversation something was said about something and a certain man's name was mentioned. This was a man that my wife and I had swinging experiences with and we, instantly, knew that if they knew him too then we shared something special with them. There was a moment of silence as all four of us knew what had been revealed, then there were big grins all around. That sure expanded the friendship.

Definitely the first occasion of having two women in the same bed giving me their attention. All the more memorable owing to the fact that the activity was sufficiently vigorous to collapse the bed frame. The people downstairs heard the crash and come upstairs to investigate. They found the three of us laughing so hard, we were almost splitting our guts.

Also depends on how it's sold. The most expensive lingerie in the world won't cover up discomfort; and a cheeseball Walmart bra can be sexy if a lady is working it.

If my husband was texting a playmate a lot and it bothered me, I would tell them. Sounds like fairly standard flirting at this point though. Be clear about what it is that bothers you. Too much texting or too much attention directed to someone who is not you? Do you want to set guidelines about how often they can text or have some block out times when neither of you text others? Open communication is key

"so I have let her enjoy herself". Right there is the difference!! Swingers share as opposed dominating. I don't "let" Mrs Doc do anything. We are a team and equal partners in this hobby. The vast majority of swinging couples we know feel very much the same as we do which tends to eliminate jealousy and macho concerns about being disrespected. You may want to spend some time reading and compare and contrast the clear differences between swinging and BDSM before you jump into the deep end of the swinging pool.