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For us the best times are with our friends. We connect with them on so many levels. It is more than sex it is fun. We can even joke at the most intimate of times. We are human and there are sometimes bloopers that happen. With friends bloopers are part of the fun. We have been with other couples that are strictly sex. The sex can be great without the connection but the connection is so much better.

When we first started down this path, we thought 'what could be better than having friends that we could talk about ANYTHING with...friends that we could be naked with?'. We are all going to have friends, why not try and find REALLY close friends and be able to do and say all the things that we wish we could (but polite society prevents us from doing). We actually have 'both' kinds of friends, but we are now finding that we need to watch what we say to our vanilla friends. It has become natural to talk about how me and Ms. Gold were having sex the other night...but the vanilla friends give us a funny look. Friends are fun, sex is fun, conversations are fun, life is fun. One and done is just not our style, going on almost 7 years of unbelievable fantasies with our closest friends is priceless...

John and I have been in a few MFMs, except for a couple which happened on the spur of the moment, all have been with flirting and taken quite a few weeks before proceeding to full blown sex, for us its the planning and the flirting that's tops, the sex act at the end is as they say the icing on the cake, real thick icing if the other man is great in bed, John loves seconds so he is my dessert you could say, away from this scenario, can any one tell me how I can post a new post,

Thank you so much! I was able to get more info this evening, so I think I'm good to go! I'm sure I will second guess my attire many more times, but in the end it all comes off anyway ;-)

Alas, we are biomedical types and have treated (in others!) a fair number of sexually transmitted infections (STI). So we at least ask to look. If anyone is terribly offended, we move on. As for condoms, "no glove, no love. They do reduce (but not eliminate) the risk of STIs. Most hosts will provide large numbers of towels, bowls of condoms etc. It's okay to ask in advance what will be there. Our approach is to bring a couple of the bath sheets that we have for our own hot tub. Easy to identify among everyone else's and if we somehow forget them on the way home (um, yeah, that has happened a time or two) we do not worry. Incidentally, you might also ask the hosts what is provided and especially what you can bring or how you can help. House parties are ultimately social events that need more hands than the host and hostess can provide. Even if they say "bring only yourselves", we always find something to bring, and we always have a look in the kitchen to see what, if anything, needs to be done. This is not completely altruistic of course. People notice. The hosts notice. Rewards follow.

Thank you so much FL! I have planned many of what you have suggested, which greatly puts me at ease. Love the 'conversation starter' and asking the other half if it's OK I play with their husband. I used to have penis mardi gras beads that were actually filled, wish I still had them, they would be perfect...lol Call me naive, but for what are you checking with the flashlight? Condoms? Warts? Oh, and should I bring my own towel for showering?

Your proposal will work fine. More important though is that *you* not feel pressured to do anything that you don't want to do. You are there to have your good time, not anyone else's. Some thoughts. *What you wear should make you feel good about yourself. Not everyone wants to parade their 'inner slut'. *Icebreakers are wonderful. A funny button, a plastic necklace, interesting earrings, something that might prompt a conversation are all wonderful ways to get past the opening line. *Leave valuables and things easily lost at home. *Bring a large scarf or similar that you would feel comfortable walking around in. It should fit in a small bag *Your small bag should include things that YOU want to have with you. Condoms of preference, of course. Our preferred lube. A small flashlight is in ours (yes, we 'check' partners before play) . Maybe a favorite sex toy. Your cell phone might want to be in the bag. It need not be fashionable--our bag is ballistic nylon., also easily identified by shape and feel in the dark. *Pace yourself. Retreat to the common area as often as you need. Shower when you feel like it. *House parties are not meant to be competitive. By definition, people come to houseparties with the permission to play. If you it makes you comfortable, "May I play with your husband?" is direct and (nearly always) results in "Of course!". Have fun and be safe.

BTW: Skinny dipping is something that I never did when I was younger (damn strict religious upbringing), but these days...well I haven't been since yesterday and haven't been with another couple since Saturday (after months of waiting the pool redo is done...missed that pool!).

You are surely correct about the continuum. The OP --authentic, by the way, not made up--was intended as a prompt to get a sense of where people fell on that continuum. Perhaps a poll will bring more responses... We concur about the connection beyond the physical. It might be mood, it might be a fit to a fantasy, it might be that the we feel some inexplicable fondness. Most commonly--and maybe we should not be surprised at this as this was our original attraction to each other many decades ago--there is strong intellectual stimulus, we become interested in "what makes them tick". We will explore this theme somewhere else--why the LS works for "long-term marrieds", specifically precisely why it seems to enhance those relationships. The emergence of durable friendships from the LS was (when it first happened) a surprise to us. As we have remarked elsewhere, (a few of) our LS friends have become our closest friends. We think that this has to do with shared values along with the fact that no one feels the need to edit desire for fun and pleasure when together, whether it is throwing together a spontaneous meal, fixing drinks, getting naked, and with some frequency doing all three simultaneously.

Yes, at Hedo II some years ago. We spent the whole time on the nude beach, so putting a bathing suit on to go swimming seemed redundant. I remember being concerned that the sea creatures might mistake my penis for a worm! I used to have a cottage and went skinny dipping all the time. One time my GF and I were doing it in the lake, holding onto the ladder. The family next door pulled into their dock, and we didn't notice at first. I'm sure they got an eyeful!

This is really encouraging and fantastic advice, thank you!...Except for kikonkrome. Don't tell me to "suck it up buttercup". That's offensive and you're just plain wrong about several things but I won't bother. By the way, update: I have gotten several emails from a particularly attractive couple who understand my situation and want to meet, and a certified, gorgeous UNICORN who likes to play with single lifestyle guys. We actually sexted for hours on Sunday and have plans to meet next weekend. I've also had GREAT luck on the singles sites. So I will continue to utilize both. And I'll try to introduce the LS to some of the women I meet on the singles sites. And kikonkrome...yeah, thanks, but I don't need your books on how to meet women either, buttecup.

I went through a divorce a number of years back, and immediately tried the online dating, both normal sites and adult sites. I suggest when you start dating a woman, before it gets monogamous / serious ask her to attend a swing club or party. I was surprised how game most were within a few weeks of meeting. At one point I had a choice of 4 single women, who would attend lifestyle parties with me. I met my current wife on AFF while she was going through a divorce. She became both my submissive and swing partner about 2 weeks after I met her. Our bachelor / bachelorette party was an epic swing event. Our wedding night after party turned into an orgy. Honeymoon was a swingers cruise. We have tried being monogamous at a couple points during our marriage, but keep coming back. I'ts never really been a part of our relationship.