Leaderboard

First of all, while I don't know about anyone else, I'm willing to give ANY woman a pass the first time they 'cheat' with another woman (as long as she tells me about it later). As for your husbands friend. Other than saying this is one of the reasons we don't recommend bringing in friends (most of the time they are just not ready for this type of relationship), your husband needs to let him know the ground rules. Rule one is: everything is the same as before and the two of you will let him know when (if) anything else will happen again. If he wants to act differently, then he will fid himself being left out of more and more activities. You and your husband have the relationship, he is just (for lack of a better word) a sex toy for the bedroom. If he can't accept that, then you can always find another toy. This may all be new and exciting to him, but this isn't about him.

For us, swinging has made "people watching" more fun. When out in public my wife points out hot women for me to check out, asking me if I would "do her" or rate her 1-10. She also has a habit of checking out men she finds attractive, and telling me how big she guesses their package is. Even separating at a crowded bar and having a competition to see who can get the most numbers ( she always wins ). Lots of other stupid stuff like that, we doubt many vanilla couples do.

We played many times on a first date. We would meet in a bar or other public place and see if there was the requisite chemistry. If there was, one of us would use a code word (something that would fit in a normal conversation, but only if you brought it up.) The other would respond in a code. Example Me: You know, we like to go to the zoo. (This was the initial code.) Her: Yeah, we really do. I love the elephants (if she was agreeable.) -or- I always get grossed out in the reptile exhibit, though (if she had no interest or wanted to think about it). You can make up your own, depending on your interests. If we both loved elephants, it was off to the races.

This is why we say don't waste time with email and texting. The fastest way to find out about a couple is to meet them. Make a date and see if there is anything there. Fakers won't set a date and flakes and assholes will quickly be eliminated. Got to eliminate the chaff from the wheat somehow.

We (especially me) have to remember to be careful what we say and do around vanilla friends. It's very liberating being around other swingers and being able to talk about...well anything. Sex, attraction, whatever. That's not acceptable with vanilla friends...'me and the Ms. were having sex the other day when she did this thing to me...' usually ends up with them looking back with HUGE eyes and shock on their face(s). Trying to 'fix' the situation by saying 'oh, she was just showing me what her boyfriend and girlfriend taught her last weekend' doesn't help at all either. We also find all those clothes that we have to wear rather confining at times with our vanilla friends. Telling a female friend that she looks really hot, especially in front of the Ms. can get some strange reactions as well. All of these are reasons that we have spent so much time trying to find swingers that are friends...with benefits. It's very liberating not to have to worry about what you say...in fact being able to say what you want and be able to openly talk about sex. If only we could be so 'open' with our close vanilla friends...

Cuckolding almost always involves humiliation of the husband. Hotwife may or may not involve humiliation of the husband. Minor difference but until stag and vixen becomes a more recognized term hotwife covers everything that involves the wife having sex with another man while the husband usually doesn't if he likes it or not.

No harm in going out to dinner and talking about erotic adventures!

Going through profiles has become a chore. We are all looking for the gold nugget or diamond but there is so much coal to sift through. We have made a game of it. Real or Fake. Green Flag or Red Flag. There are the typical giveaways that the pictures are fake. Run the pictures through Tineye. With all the precautions we still get caught with imposters. We learned not to care. We know that if they are not who they say they are we still have each other at the end of the night. Our first meeting with a couple had all the red flags in place. They ended up being real. Yes they were a great looking couple, too good to be posted pictures. They were real and also the guy was an asshole.

I would say we have tried new things. Some things I would never had done before but learned that she liked. She has also done things things to me because she saw how I reacted with our play friends. I thought we had tried everything we both liked before. I think I have less hang ups now.

There should be a 'maybe' choice. We haven't played on the first date and make sure that any couple that we meet know that the first date is just to meet, but we know that there is always that chance of meeting just the right couple and we COULD (and would be willing to) play. It just hasn't happened yet and until then we like keeping the pressure off everyone when meeting for the first time.

Well, we decided to get back in the saddle. Life is good. Thanks for all the good advice!

They did align just last August 21. I hope you did not miss the opportunity. Your next opportunity will not be until 2021.

I built one out of a windscreen wiper motor. It does not vibrate however. I made a variable DC power supply and a seat of two arms with a gap between. The dildo raises and falls. it can be adjusted from an about 1" to 6" and goes from veeerrry slow to as fast as your windscreen wipers can go in a storm. It has a direction switch so you can just poke a bit with it or let it just push its way in from very gently to "OH WOW" Very comfy to sit on and just keeps going and going and going. The continuous action does not rush you to orgasm but lets it build over some time. Relaxed, and comfortable as the interchangeable dildo is pulled out and pushed in for as long as you can make it last. We have not tried it in company yet. Just my wife and I.

About 40 years ago I read a book when I was a teenager, and I don't remember the name of the book, but I do remember one line from it. "I'm not homosexual. But I'm not heterosexual either. Let's just say I'm sexual." That's me.

It's important to accept that self descriptions have to come from the self. There are more than a few males who feel themselves to be straight who also feel that does not rule out finding out what it feels like to suck cock. There are those who feel they are more straight than bi even though they've enjoyed sucking a cock. I label myself bi and my wife and I enjoy threesomes with another man. My wife particularly enjoys being aroused by male cocksucking. She rarely just watches, but she does love to watch even if she's joining the sucking. We've met more than a few straight men who are willing to arouse her by being sucked by both of us (many) and sucking me alongside her (more than a few). Some feel that as soon as a man's lips have touched a cock they must be labeled bi. I can fully understand a man feeling he is straight, that the only honest label for him is straight, even though he has favored a very hot women with her request. Or even if he actually enjoyed sucking. Sexual acts are not gay, bi, or straight. People are. A straight person can enjoy any sexual act he or she wishes. The act doesn't make him gay, bi, or straight. Those labels refer to orientation. It's up to each person to label his own orientation.

As Chicup stated, a lot of guys who list themselves as "straight" are fronting, mostly because of the stigma even in the LS of Bi or Bi-curious guys. I find that even if you see a male listed as straight in the top, you have to read through the entire profile and 9 times out of 10 if they are being deceptive, there will be hints that things might not be as they appear. One example, the most common one I see, might be the couple emphasizes again elsewhere that the male is straight, but then adds he is "open-minded" or maybe "not closed-minded". Another interpretation I think might be "He is straight, but not homophobic" (I mean why even add that as anyone willing to be doing sex acts in a room with other naked men is going to be comfortable being around other dicks even if they have no interest in interacting with said genitals?). I list my status as straight and that is the only way I will conduct myself with other men, yet at the same time I have no problem being with a couple where the male is listed as Bi as long as he understands my status is not subject to exceptions. This has not always worked out in the past, as we had to break it off with one couple because the guy, I guess figuring that the our willingness to play with a bi-male somehow really meant I was not completely straight, kept trying to push his luck and as a result got neither me, of course, or the full swap he wanted from Mrs. Fours.

Would you have contacted her if she had listed her correct age? Whatever your response, I can pretty much guess that she thought the answer would be "no." Age can be fraught for women, who have a lot of contradictory messages coming at them about how desirable they are past the age of 40 or so. Lying about it is more a matter of saying they still feel attractive and sexual and want to be given a chance than an indicator of moral and ethical failings elsewhere.