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Has the way you have sex at home changed since you started swinging. No two partners act the same way in bed. We all have our likes and dislikes and when with a new partner have experienced new feelings. Have you and a swing partner done something that is new to you and have you brought that new act or position back to your home bed. How did your spouse react? Has your spouse tried something new? Do you discuss new likes?

I wrote on another post about how I will do guy on guy stuff with another man because my wife really likes him, but didn't say what it was. So here it is, this is really some crazy shit. When my wife gets together with this guy, he will spend hours just grooming her, her pussy and her ass. He will start washing her pussy hair, putting stuff on it, brushing it, cutting and trimming it, shaving around different places. He has made her pussy hair into all kinds of shapes, like hearts, triangles, rectangles, even a circle. Sometimes he shaves her lips or just trims it. Then her puts lotion on her inner lips and rubs that around, and does things just inside her vagina. After all that he will turn her over and work on her ass. Gives her a small enema, cleans all around, shaves any little hairs, puts some paste on her asshole to make it lighter. Cleans everything off and puts a little oil on his finger and into her asshole. This takes like four hours at least, and during that time my wife might come from the fingerings, but they don't fuck. I've watched all this but usually, I don't stay for the entire time, it takes too long. He does this with his wife too, and me and my wife will watch. Anyone else have this kind of attention to the wife by another guy?

I love to watch and get watched and swing and have fun. So far I am not happy with the swinger clubs in Manhattan. So I want to organize my own swinger party in an upscale hotel or a nice group of polite guys for my pleasure. What hotel room you think is sexy - with bath tub? Japan style bed? Big suite? Great view? Or you don´t care about these things?

After using SDC, SLS, "Dirty Facebook", Kik, going on dates, and going to a Lifestyle party, we threw in the towel. We have a few friends we play with. After 2 years we are still blown away how difficult it seems to be to chat, meet, click. Hope others have better results than us. The good news is we really like each other and we can say we tried it and liked it. May try again in a few years. What we learned.... 1. Seems lots are looking to fill a void. 2. Lots of males dragging the wife along. 3. Tons of people want to do pic swap but nothing more. 4. Seems the wife intimidated at least half the couples. 5. People have magical cameras when taking pics of themselves or pics are 5 years old. 6. It seems to be a sport for most, which is fine, just tell people that. 7. Lots of couples are not married. That's fine, just tell people that. All in all, we enjoyed our experiences. We will take this knowledge and use it in the future.

Just because you go doesn't mean anything will even happen. Look at it as a weekend getaway that just happens to have some people you know being there at the same time. This way there's no pressure or expectations on her. After that, whatever happens in PS, stays in PS...

Ask her...if you can't talk to her about anything and trust what she says then you need to improve your communication. It could just be that she has lost interest, had a bad experience, or something else but the only way to really find out is to talk with her and then try to address what her problem is (if this is what she wants done). Maybe she just wants to spend more time with just you...

First, talk to her (outside of a sexual environment)! You can start by telling her that it was really hot and ask if this is something that she wants more of. It sounds like she is trying to share her fantasies with you...let her do this (and you should share yours with her). More and better communication only helps make a relationship stronger. It may feel odd at first, but it's just play! Mostly it sounds like she wants you to be more dominate in the bedroom (and you sound like you aren't comfortable with that). That she is feeling close enough to you to share these secrets is a very good thing. Since it seems like something she wants, wouldn't you LIKE to have her do the things that you have kept secret? As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and both parties are consenting, there's nothing wrong with this...go for it and enjoy yourself. Don't be afraid to open yourself up to her, after all she is the most important person in your life.

I like great views, but that's just me. Somehow that gives me a exciting sense of luxury. A lot of people like hot tubs for the socialization factor, I like them for the relaxation and therapeutic aspects. Depends of the people attending & what is in the budget. Never been to a upscale hotel party, & certainly not a Manhattan party. Sounds so exotic & wonderful.

Don't worry this to death! Go with the expectation of having fun and then do what you're comfortable doing and with whom. You already know both couples, you know the six of you are reasonably compatable and you've had some quite pleasant interaction before this. Do what feels good! Honestly, it sounds like a potentially outrageously erotic weekend. Wish we were going too! Take notes and pictures and tell the story when you get home.

Doesn't everyone's interest wax and wane? After a few bad experiences, a few rejections, etc., everyone has to wonder if it's worth the trouble.

Swingers, as a group, are very conscience of health, hygiene and stds. I'd be willing to bet your husband did not catch the clap from the people he's blaming, they are just convenient. I'd bet he really doesn't know where he got it but that truth really IS inconvenient. Time to cut your losses he's been screwing around for years.

Gigolo?

My sympathies @waningmoon. Being betrayed sucks, I hope you are seeking solace in friends and family that can help you heal. About your situation, there are two types of non-monogamous relationships, ethical and non-ethical. You've just discovered (to your dismay) that you've actually been part of a non-ethical non-monogamous relationship. Not by your choice obviously, but definitely by his. I would guess that this is a genie that you cannot put back in the bottle. The foundational expectation of your relationship - that you would be sexually and emotionally monogamous - was not in fact a shared by both of you. So, what do you do with that? Well first I encourage you to heal and get over your anger and grief, give yourself the time to do that, and you don't allow yourself to get pushed to 'put it behind you' etc, until you've truly processed this pain and betrayal fully. Then you need to decide what you want to do about your relationship with this man. He has revealed to you that not only is his assumptions about your relationship different than yours, but he's also willing to act on his assumptions regardless of whether you are on board or not. You need to decide if you are willing to be in an 'open-ish' relationship with him. If so, he has to decide if he's willing to abide by some ethical guidelines if that is the case. Open relationships can range from fully and equitably open, to 'don't ask don't' tell. The choice is yours (and his). However, that may be a bridge too far, and if committed monogamy is the only kind of relationship you can see yourself part of, then my gut says this relationship is over. He can promise to be better, but really I think that would just mean better at subjugating/hiding/or disguising his true desires and behaviour. D

On our 1st visit to Desire, we were at the check in desk sipping welcoming champagne and Mrs Doc saw several nude couples walk through near the gift shop. She said, "look honey, they're naked". I nodded and smiled and went back to the check in process. When I looked back at my wife, not 2 minutes later, she was behind me wearing only a smile. It was the start to a great week during which we realized that she packed waaaaaaay too much clothing!

We had a similar experience. We went, were welcomed, given the option (it was a clothing optional destination) and found ourselves among 200 people not so different --so we thought-- as the ones we had just left at the airport -- just that they were naked. What was different? They looked us in the eye, engaged us in conversation, and went out of their way to make us feel like we members of a community. Ten minutes for us. When everyone else is naked, the "bathing suit" suddenly seems unnecessary. Such are the power of cultural norms.

So last night was amazing! We met for dinner and got to know each other a little more. It went well, so they invited us over to their campsite afterward (They had pulled their RV to the next town over attending an event, we grabbed a room). We got back to the campsite and did a shot, and talked for a while. As it turned out, myself and the other couple, all went to the same high school together! He and I, actually hung out once or twice among mutual friends! Anyway, we begin a little heavy petting, and things escalated quickly! We ended up doing a full swap under the stars outside their camper! We had a blast! No fears, nerves, or anything. It was certainly not what we were expecting! It seems to have come very natural for us, and we will be getting with them again soon!

I'd have to have a pot of coffee to stay alert with that going on for that long!

The best idea for ultimate safety is to be BOTH selective AND use protection.