Leaderboard

Twice this week, nudist friends who are not swingers expressed resentment that swingers have "invaded", "taken over", "annexed" their clubs. Their dismay is valid: in both instances the club operators made a decision to welcome swingers as an alternative to financial collapse. One way to look at this is to assert that swingers "saved" these clubs. Another way to look at this is to observe that one alternative lifestyle is simply displacing another, and nudists are in danger of extinction. Neither image is attractive. In any event, simple social nudity is imperiled. There are a couple of things lifestylers can--and probably should --do to support our nudist friends. First, when on the grounds of these formerly-nudist-now-mixed clubs, give the non-swinger nudists a measure of respect. Many joined those clubs because it was family- safe, not sexually liberated. Their values might be different. Second, and maybe more important, it may be worthwhile supporting their efforts to be clothes-free elsewhere, such as on public lands, beaches, state parks and so on. According our nudist friends a measure of respect costs nothing. Having them think kindly of swingers may be valuable as various alternative lifestyles fall under political and religious siege.

I appreciate your frustration and you have my sympathy. We too have seen this behavior at a private party. But I am curious about something. Being a member of two different Facebook secret groups, I've noticed that when a party or any other kind of gathering is announced, everybody who is a member of the group knows about it. Individual invitations are not sent. The only way in a secret FB group to not send somebody an invitation is that the group's owner of one of the designated moderators of the group removes an offender's profile entirely from the group.

How would you feel about a profile that says 420 friendly? (Looking for those that are ok, and against it) Reason we are asking, we are a 420 friendly couple that enjoys it every now and then. We also find it to be mind blowing during sex with another couple. We don't want to post it in our profile because it's not a requirement, but we will give preference to those who are. But at the same time don't want to lose potential playmates that may think otherwise.

So we went to a small house party last night that was going wonderfully, two couples had to leave due to a little too much to drink but they were great to be around, friendly, etc, just got a little too lit up, no big deal. We were down to five couples and everyone was down to play, thought we were going to be in our first orgy as everyone was onboard, seemed like a perfect scenario. Then "that couple" showed up. We've ran across them at another party and they can destroy a mood in the blink of an eye. Pushy, annoying, predatory, kinda loud, a little obnoxious and have a limited understanding of personal space, but they push it just to the edge but not so far as to be kicked out. As soon as they showed up we knew the party was essentially over. Of the original five couples left (including us) they managed to annoy/turn off/make uncomfortable all but one couple. The ladies had their breasts out and were touching some and were having fun, then the boobies got covered up and the playfulness ended when those two came around. The party basically disbanded. The ladies were all telling their spouses/SO's that they were now uncomfortable because of the couple. The host noticed and started coming around quietly asking if everything was ok (very observant of him and showed he paid attention). Once he found out what was going on he said he wouldn't be inviting them back for future parties and this was the first time he had met them. It was a party set up on a FB private group. Just thought I would share last night's outting, could have been a blast but just wasn't meant to be I guess. The host is planning on another party soon with the couples that were all open to play so all wasn't a loss last night and we did have a great time before those two showed up. Anyone else on here ever come across a couple like this or are we just unlucky? Lol

So we just went to our first 'House Party' actually it was a hotel room, anyhow...kinda had a similar vibe mood killer in the group as well. Shows up late and was a bit of a drag...interesting feedback...great post.

Would not turn us away. And I strongly suspect that most people are not burdened by the belief that people who use 420 are drug-crazed fiends who cannot function without it.

In my industry (construction) with drug and alcohol tests being the norm, I personally am very against it. I find it rather abhorrent, hate the smell, hate the dumb, hate the culture. That being said, my wife has recently starting enjoying her special vaper machine and she gets rather horny when she’s stoned. I tend to find it kind of gross no matter the scenario, but she loves it and it sort of accentuates some our our LS activities. She gets ripped and rarin’ To go; and I’m always ready anyways so sometimes she does her little thing and we go seperate ways. With the legalization of it, it’s going to be much more prevelant in the future and that isn’t a bad thing. Everybody has their poison of choice, and maybe a tag of “420 acceptable” might be more your speed?

Your point is well taken. The situation could have been avoided if, for example, there were color coded bracelets for “please don’t ask, we don’t swing”. Such shielding is graceful and enforceable as a pre-emptive “no”. Swingers are used to offering and receiving graceful “no thanks”. They know “what movie they are in” and the key dialogue. Non-swingers neither know the movie nor are comfortable with the key dialogue. No one particularly enjoys unwanted advances, swingers simply expect them as a price for the desired advances. You did nothing wrong. Swingers were welcomed to Caliente. The management failed to foresee and mitigate the predictable sort of encounter you described.

Are you talking what is considered good form between two playmates in general, or something more formal like at a club playroom where the venue may have its own rules? For the first, I think one should let a playmate know up front about anything that may catch them off guard or be something they might not be into...sort of an extension of the "ask first" policy when it comes to any type of physical contact. For the club type situation, can't say I've ever really thought about that or seen anything along those lines, so not really sure there. Depending on the club, towels are often provided, and many swingers will take their "play bag" with them to the club that with personal supplies like lube, toys they like, etc. You could take one of those absorbent sex throws like the Liberator Fascinator in your bag and stay respectful of other patrons and the club by not leaving a mess behind for someone else to have to deal with.

That's typically the norm for any club like that. I know and have been to Colette in NOLA and it had them. I would be surprised if Dallas didn't as well. Honestly it's a lot of fun. Get turned on watching others head off with your honey and fuck. Good Luck and Have Fun

You can disagree all you want with my opinion without being a common scold ("that is not a very respectful way of thinking about single men"). I answered a blog question, period. Since you and I have never spoken in depth, you haven't a clue about my thoughts on any subject or individual. To presume that you do and then to draw a conclusion and make a judgement on my "way of thinking" fits my definition of thought police.

There was a question. I answered it and explained my answer, our answer actually. The OP didn't ask that answers be sugar coated and mine wasn't. Further, I don't believe that I am subject to the jurisdiction of thought police.

I love the taste of a woman and would likely have never swapped if oral sex had been off the table. We chose couples who had been married for years and had little (or no) exposure outside their marriage. I'm sure they could have lied to us, but we had a pretty good feel for that, too. Dental Dams? No, thanks. If that had been my option, I'd have taken my delicious wife and gone home.

I don't want to discount the dangers in swinging, but through life we do things that are dangerous. I ski. When I ski, I drink heavily and smoke a lot of pot. I am easily the most effed up person on the hill but I am having a blast. I don't hurt anyone and I take responsibility for my own injuries. I have the option of skiing straight, slow, and only on groomed runs. But I wouldn't go skiing. You can take all the danger and fun out of swinging. A dental dam is perfectly safe way to perform cunnilingus. And I can't imagine the feelings of the person you are doing this to. If I remember correctly, about 90% of our immune system is located between our lips and stomach. If your mouth isn't bleeding, you are probably safe enough to eat without fear. If you are too skeeked out, maybe a different hobby?