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We had one 'real life' weird experience meeting a new couple -- we've written about it elsewhere. But can you top this one for an on-line weird experience? We were looking at a couple's profile on SLS -- we're interested, but haven't contacted them yet -- we're looking at their photos, and there's one picture of them in a bar/grill that happens to be one of our favorite places, where we go two or three times a year. It's not a landmark -- we've seen dozens of couple's photos near park entrances, or some other famous place, but this isn't a landmark or 'destination' foodie place at all. "Our favorite joint in a photo?" That's not the weird part. This is the weird part: Mrs. SJB and I were in the background. On the left-hand side of the photo, unaware of the couple two tables over having their picture taken -- there we are, casually hanging out with some vanilla friends. How the heck did we miss this opportunity to meet them? And now: Oh, the shame! Our photos -- our faces! -- open for all to see on a swingers' website! How will we ever explain this to friends and family?!!!???

Yeah, you're too old - just joking. I'm damn near seventy, I'm not too old. You're the same age my wife and I were when we started swinging. Go for it, have a great time!

Our best swinging experiences have been meet for drinks, if everyone likes each other then invite them back to our house. Naked in bed within a couple hours of meeting. Me and my wife never need to step away and discuss if we want to play. We know what the other is thinking. We don't care about what you do for work, about your kids, and definitely don't want to listen to you brag about yourself, your travels, or how much money you make. We like to talk about swing experiences and what turns you on. If we are on the same page, lets have some hot sex. We are not looking for long term friends, just hot sex with a hot couple. If we spend too much time talking to a couple, eventually we will pick out things we don't like. Many times we have felt there was a lot of initial attraction, but as the night goes on it fades. You find they talk bad about other couples you know, or say something about politics that makes them very unattractive. Then we just wasted 2 hours on a couple we don't want to play with. Many times the more we know someone, the less attractive they become. If the initial attraction is there, we try to strike while it is hot.

We are 59 and we've been swinging for four years. We do try to meet couples in our age group. Most clubs have a diversity of ages. You could call the club and ask or go and scope it out. Worst case scenario: have a night out, see some sights, do your spouse, go home.

Yes I just met someone like them. Later I discussed my concerns with the host, he actually referred to them as "creepy" and had the same issue as me. I asked why keep them around. Becaue they have a nice place they would like to use for future parties. I won't attend those. I am now second guessing that host's judgement for guests at other parties he arranges.

I can't imagine not playing on the first date if both my wife and I were attracted to the other couple. The reason we are going to the clubs is the excitement and fun of having sex with each other and playing with other couples. If you are lucky enough to meet a couple you connect then play. Life is too short to waste time.

We don't get out too often, but when we do, we prefer to play on the first date. Between work, work travel, kids, and life, trying to get together twice with someone you know you want to get busy with just doesn't seem a good use of time. We are up front in our profile that we don't date. We also communicate in 'making plans' emails that while we don't expect anyone to play that isn't comfortable, if the meeting is just to 'plan for later', we aren't interested. Everyone has their own reasons and no disrespect intended. It's just not us.

I’m a bit curious as to why some people will not have sex on the first date? Let’s assume you are meeting another couple or a single for a get-to-know-you-drink. Both of you are attracted to the other(s). You just know that you so want to have that second date so you can get naked and play. In that situation, why wouldn’t you just go ahead and play on the first date?

Twice this week, nudist friends who are not swingers expressed resentment that swingers have "invaded", "taken over", "annexed" their clubs. Their dismay is valid: in both instances the club operators made a decision to welcome swingers as an alternative to financial collapse. One way to look at this is to assert that swingers "saved" these clubs. Another way to look at this is to observe that one alternative lifestyle is simply displacing another, and nudists are in danger of extinction. Neither image is attractive. In any event, simple social nudity is imperiled. There are a couple of things lifestylers can--and probably should --do to support our nudist friends. First, when on the grounds of these formerly-nudist-now-mixed clubs, give the non-swinger nudists a measure of respect. Many joined those clubs because it was family- safe, not sexually liberated. Their values might be different. Second, and maybe more important, it may be worthwhile supporting their efforts to be clothes-free elsewhere, such as on public lands, beaches, state parks and so on. According our nudist friends a measure of respect costs nothing. Having them think kindly of swingers may be valuable as various alternative lifestyles fall under political and religious siege.

What kind of guy are you or your wife looking for? Personally my belief is there are certain types that our beloved swinging ladies look for. The bearded Paul Bunyan looking dude or the gym rat. Those who are in the middle maybe considered but most of the time she'll keep looking. I'm an athletic (6'0 205 lbs) clean shaven and smooth looking dude. Not 100% by choice it's just that God didn't want me growing a beard or looking hairy. I know I'm handsome and I don't have to worry about my appearance in the vanilla world. The vanilla world isn't where is wanna be though, is it? Anyway, Overall I can't say I've been greatly successful meeting others. I've been able to enjoy the handful of hook ups, not complaining. When the extra guy is part of the equation does she want someone much different than the Mr.? Is there a certain "type" she's attracted to?

You know -- it sometimes helps to let "that couple" know what the problem is. My Ex (NOT Mrs. SJB!) was especially rude to certain types of people (based on appearance), and I was so in-love with her that I never noticed. I could see no wrong in the way she behaved. At the time, I wasn't aware that her behavior was affecting others, and in turn affecting me. I would have liked knowing there was a problem. I probably would have reacted with a mixture of denial and anger -- but that would have passed with time, and we'd be better / more mature people because of it.

I think that most of us have, or eventually will, run across 'this couple'. I know that we have. All you can do is try to avoid them in the future. Sounds like the person putting on this last even knows not to invite them back again. Hopefully they will only invite the 5 couples that were all having a good time (well, 6 couples as we hope to be invited as well). Sounds like the next party is going to be a PARTY! Let us know how that one goes.

If we spend too much time talking to a couple, eventually we will pick out things we don't like. Many times we have felt there was a lot of initial attraction, but as the night goes on it fades. You find they talk bad about other couples you know, or say something about politics that makes them very unattractive. Then we just wasted 2 hours on a couple we don't want to play with. Many times the more we know someone, the less attractive they become. I certainly can't disagree with your statement, there are just going to be people, vanilla or lifestyle, who do not appeal to us. Still, your comment made me sad. Perhaps I just don't want to admit to my shallow side.

We started as a softswap couple only, do not overthink it, it will happen when she feels is the right time: with the right guy and/or couple, just keep having fun and enjoy the moment.

We always have sex after a play session, Once at home we review our experience and recollect details of what just happened -> that bring us always a lot of eroticism and charge us both back.

We consider swinging as just foreplay. My wife is usually left in very horny state and still wanting more (lots more). She is usually begging for me to fuck her as soon as the other guy finishes.

We've noticed lately that swingers seem to be getting younger and younger !!I think the crowd age generally depends upon the sponsor, the venue and also the theme. However, a true swinger event is usually filled with people who are fun and playful and who generally understand and respects other couples rules and boundaries (presupposing that you let them know up front). What's the worst that can happen? Stay in your comfort zone and enjoy some new experiences.

Many people go to the club either to observe or just play with their spouse. You may have to go more than once before you are ready to swap. Some people are never ready to swap. That is ok. If a couple wants to play with you and you don't want to play, thank them for asking and say no thank you. Trust me, Swingers can handle rejection. This hobby is like baseball, where a .300 average is exceptional. Go and have fun. At worst, you will be mind blown and turned on.

PeterJ does an excellent job of explaining the distinctions between swinging, hotwifing, and cuckolding. While my husband and I are involved in "traditional" swinging, I am also a hotwife sometimes. He has encouraged me to have sex with other men while he has minimal contact or while he merely watches. I have also had sex with other men alone. In fact, our first lifestyle experience was actually a hotwife experience. Both of us derive emotional pleasure from it. My husband is part of the experience even if he is not there, because he is part of the planning process and I tell him all the details of the encounter at some point afterwards. However, we are not involved in any humiliation or cuckolding.

Phew!!! I was worried that I could be considered a "cuckold" because I encourage my hot wife to enjoy other men. Humiliation is certainly not my thing. I don't understand the feelings, but watching my wife ride and a suck a dick is one of the most exciting experiences of my life. Seeing him turned on by her, she by him, his dick hard, her pussy dripping wet, their guttural moans and dirty talk and then the joyous climax of both. I am SO glad we tried this a few years ago. It's amazing how it's changed our lives.

I've played with Hot Wife couples. It is its own part of the sexual world, more different from what most folks here define as swinging/lifestyle from a psychological perspective than behavioral. From the latter perspective most HW play resembles what people here think of as an MFM. But mentally it's all about the husband's enjoyment in observing his wife having sex with other men. (And in a healthy HW relationship the wife not only enjoying the sex for its own sake, it also for the erotic value it brings her husband.) The husband may at some point join in the play, but often not. Or at least not until the other male departs, when they engage in reclamation sex. The Cuckold sexual lifestyle is a variant of the broader Hot Wife scene. As others have pointed out, it involves at least some level of humiliation of the husband, sometimes ea by the wife or the male (who the Cuckold world is generally referred to as a Bull) or both. In addition to the verbal "abuse" heaped on the husband, he is often "required" to fluff the Bull before he fucks the wife, and then clean them both up orally following. From the perspective of many of the people who frequent the Swingers Board, the whole HW scene as a form of kink. (The Cuckold scene looks pretty kinky to me.) But then I think that most of my vanilla friends would find my sexual life to be on the kinky side. For sure my loving wife does...) So, I make a point of not judging. For people who are interested in checking out the whole expanse of the HW scene I recommend the Hot Wife Forum: Our Hotwives - Index page

I'd also add that hotwife is more about physical sex, but cuckolding explores the emotional and mental aspects, in addition to sex. A hotwife may simply have sex with men other than her husband, but the humiliation and dom/sub role of a cuckold relationship add something more of a mental stimulation.

Cuckolding almost always involves humiliation of the husband. Hotwife may or may not involve humiliation of the husband. Minor difference but until stag and vixen becomes a more recognized term hotwife covers everything that involves the wife having sex with another man while the husband usually doesn't if he likes it or not.

i think it is hot and i like to watch that a guy sucks cock and get fucked.

As a single male, I have been invited on the first date. During the meeting (at a restaurant) I generally excuse myself to go to the bathroom, whether I need to go or not. This gives the couple time to talk things over, and more than once, on my return I will be asked to join them at their home for desert and a night cap ... if you get the drift.

We generally expect that when a couple asks us back to their place, they want to do us. It is more difficult to escape the spider's web if you are in their house. So if we do not want to go forward, we won't continue the evening.

I can think of one reason why someone don't play on first date even if they hit it off: kids. We have met playmates who could get out for a couple of hours to meet over coffee, but they would need to arrange for a babysitter if they want to stay out and play. Not sure if this is a situation that fits the question, since it's not a question of "wouldn't" but rather a circumstance of "couldn't".

Okay, it seems to me that all the responses here are of the "Yeah, we say no sex on first date, but we might do it if everybody is okay with that." I was looking for a response from someone who is adamant that they wouldn't, no matter what. Thanks for your input though! As far as not knowing what the other one is thinking, my GF and I have clues we can say without anyone knowing what we're talking about. Case 1: One of us likes the situation, and wants to know if the other does. Me: You know, I really liked that bottle of Merlot the other night. (In fact, neither of us likes Merlot. So the mention of it alerts her that I'm interested.) Her (If she agrees that it's on.): Yeah, that was great, we should get another bottle. Her (If she doesn't want to take it further that night): I don't know, I thought it was a little bland. That is, agreement about Merlot is agreement, disagreement is let's-think-about-it. And, of course, she could start the conversation as well as I could. Case 2: Absolutely nothing is going to happen. Either of us: Hey, we haven't been to the zoo in quite some time. Neither of us is wild about the zoo, any mention of it is a wave-off. You can pick your subjects based upon your own lives and desires. It's just got to be something that wouldn't normally come up in conversation.

Swinging is our hobby, NOT our lifestyle. We enjoy recreational sex yet feel absolutely no obligation to play with a couple just because we've met them for drinks. On the other hand, if we meet a couple and there is a mutual attraction, we don't see any point in NOT playing. WTF, if we wait a week or a month till the stars align again and we all find another time and place to meet, will we/they be better looking? younger? thinner? Not likely! In our experience, there is absolutely no point in NOT acting on initial attraction. We're not looking for a lifetime relationship, we're looking for erotic fun and if it presents itself on the first meeting, why waste an opportunity?

This is right on the money. We've had too many of those moments where we're reaching the end of a first date and someone says, "so, do you want to play?" I mean, I know whether *I* want to but, short of both of us disappearing to the bathroom to talk about it, I've got no idea what she's thinking. It seems a bit rude to have that conversation right in front of the other couple. "Well, what do you think hun?" "I like her/him well enough, but (s)he's just a little too [reason for being disinterested] for my taste." "Hmm, yeah. I guess I can see that. Huh. They look a little offended. Do you think they can hear us?" "Well they are sitting right there, so..."

We actually have that in our profile. To be honest we have discussed this, and the main reason we have it is to eliminate expectations from another couple (mainly the sport swingers) It also makes us feel less pressure when going on a 1st date (For both couples). We also know that if we really hit it off, and if it so happens naturally then we are ok with playing on a 1st date. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable going on a first date knowing that it's a no pressure couple? We do.

Find a cute fluffy adorable kitten. Now put on a glove to pet it.