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We had one 'real life' weird experience meeting a new couple -- we've written about it elsewhere. But can you top this one for an on-line weird experience? We were looking at a couple's profile on SLS -- we're interested, but haven't contacted them yet -- we're looking at their photos, and there's one picture of them in a bar/grill that happens to be one of our favorite places, where we go two or three times a year. It's not a landmark -- we've seen dozens of couple's photos near park entrances, or some other famous place, but this isn't a landmark or 'destination' foodie place at all. "Our favorite joint in a photo?" That's not the weird part. This is the weird part: Mrs. SJB and I were in the background. On the left-hand side of the photo, unaware of the couple two tables over having their picture taken -- there we are, casually hanging out with some vanilla friends. How the heck did we miss this opportunity to meet them? And now: Oh, the shame! Our photos -- our faces! -- open for all to see on a swingers' website! How will we ever explain this to friends and family?!!!???

We’ve been in, out, and around the lifestyle since the ‘70’s and like the commercial says, “We’ve seen a thing or two during our time.” I think it all comes down to mindset. As a rule, the people that you meet in the lifestyle are the friendlies, fun loving people that you’re ever going to meet. It didn’t take us long to realize that we had the most fun when we went to clubs or parties with a mindset of just having fun and enjoying ourselves. As opposed to going out looking for a specific body type or age to have sex with. Don’t over think it, be open and friendly and not pushy and demanding. Be warm and inviting, not cold and aloof and you will find yourself having fun. I think one of the biggest problems that some people make is going to events with a preconceived fantasy that they are trying to live out. For us going to these things with a mindset of a surprise party where you never know what you’re going to get were the nights we had the most fun. It’s been my experience that if people would work more on their people skills than they do at pumping iron in a gym they would find themselves getting laid more. You are who you are and you’re not going to change that so just go out and have fun.

We both love cum! My husband loves it when a guy fills my pussy with his cum then eats me. He also likes to suck cock and get cum in his mouth from a guy. I love licking pussy a lot and love licking my husband's cum out of another woman.

It used to be a thrill being with a new couple, but after doing it for years "new" isn't that exciting anymore. Sure the wife enjoys multiple men, but even that has been done so often, it is just normal sex to her. We used to be in and out of the lifestyle often, just due to boredom with it. For us, it has migrated to being more of a social activity and very little about the sex. If we have sex with others that's cool, but not a high priority. We have always great sex together. So if it is just sex we want, why waste the time and energy to have OK sex with others, when you can stay at home and have great sex?

That's the best part of swinging...you're getting laid no matter what!!

I replied to this question on another thread "Help me settle an argument"... OK, I've stayed out of this for good reasons, I don't want to offend anyone or cause an uproar but here goes...squirting is urine! And there's nothing wrong with that! In an albeit small study out of France, this was determined to be the case. Check where the fluid is coming from...the urethra (urine). It is a well known fact that women can have some level of incontinence as they age. Orgasms will naturally increase the odds of "squirting" as control is lost. I am not trying to pass judgement here, only trying to clear up a misunderstanding. I know I will receive flack for this post and some will respond to the contrary, but I will go with the medical evidence available. By the way, my first wife was a "squirter", and it didn't take long to determine what the fluid was and where it was coming from. There's my opinion (for what it's worth).

We've been to swinger clubs that had a pool or hot tub, and yes, we got in it. Others may hold a different opinion. To us, it's no different than any other public venue, whether it be the community pool or a hotel hot tub, you are depending on someone to operate it correctly. Depending on local codes too, they may or may not be regularly inspected by the local health department. I've always looked at it as the more financial liability there is for the owner, the more incentive they have to do things right. That may be a false sense of security, and no way to tell if water is safe just by looking at it of course, but at any public venue I still take a general look around to see if overall things look well-maintained or not before I decide to get in. Shortcuts in one area are a good sign of shortcuts in another.

3Way, I don't know. That was just plain rude, and you were right to throw their asses out.

As long as you are alive, you're never too old for anything.

Yeah, you're too old - just joking. I'm damn near seventy, I'm not too old. You're the same age my wife and I were when we started swinging. Go for it, have a great time!

You are far from too old and you should be able to find partners with whom you can share mutual pleasure. As I mentioned in an earlier thread, at a party I once played with a couple who were in their mid-80s. They looked their ages but they knew how to have a good time. A mutual friend later told me thecouple had a long history in the lifestyle, which included an orgy on their wedding night. Which was in the late 1940s! I found them an inspiration for the notion of a long and adventurous sex and love life.

Sorry, I mean: I have seen my friend do it with HER husband and my hubby

Are you talking what is considered good form between two playmates in general, or something more formal like at a club playroom where the venue may have its own rules? For the first, I think one should let a playmate know up front about anything that may catch them off guard or be something they might not be into...sort of an extension of the "ask first" policy when it comes to any type of physical contact. For the club type situation, can't say I've ever really thought about that or seen anything along those lines, so not really sure there. Depending on the club, towels are often provided, and many swingers will take their "play bag" with them to the club that with personal supplies like lube, toys they like, etc. You could take one of those absorbent sex throws like the Liberator Fascinator in your bag and stay respectful of other patrons and the club by not leaving a mess behind for someone else to have to deal with.

I have to agree with njbm. Once there is a lack of excitement, it's best to put it on hold. Even group sex can become monotonous. I was guilty of overloading us, instead of letting the excitement build. The result was what I thought was impossible, burnout.

How can you not have sex yet still play around? Are you mixing metaphors or just confused. If by playing around you mean a golf 4-some or volleyball, you don't need swingers and yes, most swingers we know would not be interested in meeting a couple who claim to be swingers but who don't "play around". Its not necessarily shunning but frankly, we have vanilla friends with whom we can play golf.

Since we are usually looking for FWB, we want to make sure that we start out with the friends part first and the benefits come a little later. Even the first meeting can go really well only to find out later that there are deal breakers (they are also members of the Nazi party or KKK or believe in cannibalism). While we would never totally rule out playing on the first date, it would really have to be something special happening between everyone. What we want to be very careful about is that one of us ends up 'taking one for the team'. Once 'play' is brought up and put on the table, it can be more difficult of someone who is borderline about the other couple to say they are not interested/ready yet. We also think (as others have already said) that it's important to not have that pressure on anyone and have the opportunity for us to talk together outside of the other couple. We also have a signal for 'not going to happen/lets think about leaving'. Why spend the entire night if one of us has already decided this is never going to happen.

Okay, it seems to me that all the responses here are of the "Yeah, we say no sex on first date, but we might do it if everybody is okay with that." I was looking for a response from someone who is adamant that they wouldn't, no matter what. Thanks for your input though! As far as not knowing what the other one is thinking, my GF and I have clues we can say without anyone knowing what we're talking about. Case 1: One of us likes the situation, and wants to know if the other does. Me: You know, I really liked that bottle of Merlot the other night. (In fact, neither of us likes Merlot. So the mention of it alerts her that I'm interested.) Her (If she agrees that it's on.): Yeah, that was great, we should get another bottle. Her (If she doesn't want to take it further that night): I don't know, I thought it was a little bland. That is, agreement about Merlot is agreement, disagreement is let's-think-about-it. And, of course, she could start the conversation as well as I could. Case 2: Absolutely nothing is going to happen. Either of us: Hey, we haven't been to the zoo in quite some time. Neither of us is wild about the zoo, any mention of it is a wave-off. You can pick your subjects based upon your own lives and desires. It's just got to be something that wouldn't normally come up in conversation.

Less pressure. It can be difficult to perform with someone you just met. I like to like the person that I am having sex with. We can explore that at our first meeting. Also, my wife may notice something alarming about the other couple, but she can't say it in front of them. We won't rule out first meeting play, but we'd rather meet, talk among ourselves privately and anticipate a future play session.

We just did it last night for the first time and took me by surprise. Caro had never swallowed before and our partner came really silent so I wasn't expected to find that taste when she kissed me. It was such a great turn on (if it's possible) and her naughty smile was great to see and share. We talked later and she said she wasn't expecting to swallow, but the taste was different and she loved our after kiss