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We've always taken the approach that nothing is a "must have" in swinging. So, when we aren't available to meet soon, we just apologize by saying we're busy with family, work, etc. and give them the time when we are available, and if it's a month from now then it's a month from now. If they choose not to want to wait that long, then that's entirely their prerogative and we're totally ok with that. Personally, if I think it's someone I am likely going to hit it off enough to have sex with, which is the case since we wanted to meet to start with, then I'm not going to be real demanding that it happen on my schedule.

It's not always like that, but they tend to increase at certain time of the month. We also never imagined there were so many swingers in South Florida. SLS is fairly quiet, but SDC is overwhelmingly strong in SFL (if you plan on visiting SFL I would strongly suggest you create an account on SDC)

I am curious about what the difference is between hotwifing and cuckolding. I can't seem to find anything that really makes the difference between the two. Is it perhaps that the hotwife is the woman and the cuckold is the man?

Hi Gang, We've been in the Lifestyle for going on 5 1/2 years now, and we've played with couples, single females, and single males. We've enjoyed all aspects of these fun times. Lately, I've been feeling more and more excitement and arousal in seeing my wife being fucked by another man. It's been getting more and more interesting, and I have more and more feelings of compersion (and less "hey, I'm left out"). It's totally hot to watch her take another man, revel in the sexual feelings and lose herself in the pleasure he's giving her. Making sounds she has NEVER made with me, and fucking him for HER pleasure, not mine (although it's SOOO hot to watch). I'm not sure what has cause this rather interesting change of arousal and interest patterns, but I wondered if any of you have gone through this as well. No cuckolding here, but just when there's a guy she wants to fuck, I TOTALLY enjoy setting it up for her and watching (and participating) her be completely satisfied. The change from even Steven to loving when she gets it has been totally non-volitional and I wonder if any of you others, male or female, have gone through the same?

Unfortunately our playtime is limited to basically Saturday evenings (due to our kids and other Vanilla stuff). Lately we have been receiving a large amount of requests. We don't want to lose potential playmates that we may, or may not hit it off. But it's becoming overwhelming trying to keep up (No we are not trying to sound conceited) But honesty how to tell a couple that it will be awhile before we can meet and not sound like we are not interested? We also prefer to meet 1 on 1, and have already broken that rule as we are attending 2 big Halloween parties this month, and have several couples we will be meeting. We did mention to them the possibility of meeting others during the party, and for the most part they are ok with it. Except for one couple that said they would wait to meet us on a private meeting. We do weed out the potential fakes and couples that we don't see an initial interest. I'm sure most of you have had that problem?

I think this is a really good point. One of the sure signs for us that we had started to get comfortable in swinging was when we started to have some flexibility with different situations. Rules and boundaries are important, especially at first, but like what some great military mind once said, no battle plan ever survived first contact with the enemy, so adjusting on the fly is an important skill to develop. When you look at successful swingers who have been at it a while, that seems to be a key skill they have, not getting locked in on anything. This is another trait of successful swingers. Things will happen, and both sides will make a mistake. The mistake itself is often not a big problem, but the response to the mistake can unnecessarily amplify it into a very big problem.

Just had my first foray into this. I've been thinking about it more the last couple of years as I've let my mind open up about sexuality. Actually my best friend and I were talking a few years ago. He said that he wouldn't be opposed to letting a dude suck his cock. His reasoning was if girls know what girls like then a bi guy should know what a guy liked. I guess I kind of tucked that away for a while and then it came back when an ex GF once mentioned that she liked gay erotica. I guess I started thinking about it more, started watching some homoerotic stuff, pretty tame actually. Just recently I had the opportunity to play with a couple that had a bi guy. I had told them I wasn't opposed to any sword crossing and might be down for more if the situation was right. Well, it was right. The three of us were playing, he was fucking her in a scissor type position where she could suck me as I was standing. He leaned over to kiss her and really, I think, to get closer to me. She pulls my cock out of her mouth and he sucked it a little. It was fucking hot. We eventually got in reversed positions so I was able to return the favor. Not bad. I'd say it's not something I would seek out alone. Having her there as the buffer was nice and made it easy to fall back to focusing on her( We ended up fucking her in multiple DP positions, all three holes) but the eroticism of it was really a turn on and I'm glad I gave it a try. Might be down for some more next time but some light oral is probably about as far as I'm ready to go at this point. Now if she wanted to force him down on me that might be hot too. Again, I think for me having her there was an important component to it being a turn-on. She was enjoying it too and that's really what it was about.

@babblebrox I want to hear about the extreme sub!!

TL;DR Pharmaceuticals are your friend and don't show up bareback to a cock-sleeve fight Hello everyone! Longtime lurker, first time caller... err... poster. I apologize in advance for the novel I've written. I just had to tell someone about my first gangbang experience but I can't exactly bring it up with friends over a bowl of pho at the local eatery. "So what have you been up to?" "Oh nothing, just me and two other dudes made a girl airtight." Not exactly light conversation. So herein lies the tragedy of my first gangbang. I was casually browsing a popular kink website when I see that a person I've been friends with for a while posted that two people have backed out of her gangbang. "This will not stand", says I. "Will no one help this poor woman?" I knew I was just the man to do it. Leaping into action I boldly sent a message. After some back and forth talk, a few pics sent to make sure I'm not too much of a bridge troll, and voila, I have my invite. As an aside I would just like to say when I woke up this morning if you had told me what I would be getting into mere hours later I would have branded you a liar. This was totally out of nowhere and completely unexpected. It was at that moment I realized what I had done. Those voices of self-doubt rose up like a cloud of ravens in my mind, pecking away at my confidence. I started figuring out excuses to back out when a message arrived asking me if I am 100% doing this. My hands acquired a mind of their own and vigorously confirmed. "We don't have time to sort through messages only for people to flake on us. If you commit and don't show up you will not be on the list of play partners in the future." Well, damn. Can't back out now if I ever want to do anything with them ever again. I dove into the shower, scrubbing and shaving, double scrubbing, triple scrubbing. You know what, just to be safe let's scrub that spot again. I checked the clock... only six hours left! I briefly considered whether or not I have time for another shower. To calm my nerves I read lots of articles and stories about other peoples first times, etiquette, so on and so forth. I decided that in the worst case scenario I can grab my shoes and dive out a nearby window. Also, there's going to be like 5 other people there! I can get lost in the crowd and slip away! The time comes and I am told where to go. A hotel. On a floor much higher than ground. So much for my daring window escape plan. Perhaps I could build a crude glider using bath towels and a desk chair? I show up and sit in the lobby until I am sent for. A very, VERY large man came to escort me to the room and on our way, in a voice usually reserved for discussing the price of bulk seed corn, he laid out the ground rules. It was pretty common sense stuff, play nice, be a gentleman, don't be rough, don't shove appendages into her ass unannounced. You know, stuff you learned in kindergarten. He said that they wanted to keep it fairly anonymous so there won't be much banter or small talk. On the one hand I am kinda disappointed that we were getting straight to it, no ice-breaking or anything like that. I have needs, I need some romancing in my gangbangs. On the other hand I didn't know exactly what we would talk about. "That is quite a penis you have there." "That cock-ring really brings out the color in your eyes." I am experienced in the lifestyle. I don't claim to be a sex god who bangs people constantly but I do alright. I've had my threesomes, foursomes, moresomes, and an orgy here and there... Point is that this isn't exactly new to me. I was not ready. When we reached the door of the room my escort turned to me and told me that four other people had backed out at the last second. It was just him, me, and a good friend of theirs. No pressure. Hey, where did that spotlight come from? So much for escape plan #2. In a voice I imagined to be suave and worldly I say, "Well, some people just get nervous about these things." He grunted and ushered me in. The center of our micro-bang was already blindfolded and sitting quietly in a chair. A toothbrush was thrust at me and I was told to "freshen up". After my teeth got their third brushing in four hours we got down to business. I don't want sound too full of myself when I say I am the greatest giver of lady oral luvins that the world, nay, the universe has ever known. I'm humble about it too. I got down to what I did best while the other guys picked positions. We switch around after a bit, she's having a great time. Finally it's my time to shine! I have good body stamina and a slight difficulty to orgasm so I can keep going forever. Kinda frustrating when, at the end of the night, I'm a sweaty pile who hasn't gotten his but, hey, as long as everyone had a good time then whatever, right? I pull out of the pile of bodies and arm myself with the latest in latex technology. I turn around locked and loaded, ready to go... but someone got there before me. Okay, no problem. This is their party, I'm the stranger here I'll just wait for him to... Oh... Oh dear... No, don't you die on me! Not here! Not now! Yes, dear readers, it happened. The dreaded condom induced ED. And you know what really helps with that? Stressing about it. Yay feedback loops! The large guy noticed my distress and motioned for me to take position at her mouth. Ripping the condom off in disgust I did just that forgetting my well lubricated state which she promptly spat out. So much for being the #1 lube on Amazon... One trip to the bathroom sink later I resume my place. Yep, feels good. One of the better blowjobs I've ever gotten, in fact. Still doesn't help things. After a while of relaxing I breathed some life into my mighty tower of power and go to try again. That is, until the other two guys broke out their cock-sleeves. This elevated them from an already respectable size to Coke and Pringles can level. RIP boner. How do you even compete? At this point it was just live action porn for me so I sat back and enjoyed the show. She took both of them at the same time like a champ. After a dozen or two ear-shattering orgasms they pulled out with an audible -shlorp-. The big guy tells me to get in there before our time is up. I nodded and summoned up all the willpower of my ancestors to get something I could at least hang a condom on and dove right in. This worked for about a minute. I now truly understood what they say about "pushing rope". At that point I cut my losses and moved away. While Godzilla and Rodan resumed their drilling I snuck into my clothes and, with a cheerfulness I certainly did not feel, bid them a good night. So, dear readers, what have we learned? Hell if I know.

No, allowing someone to pleasure you orally does not automatically mean you're willing to do the same to them. Many times a woman approached my wife, kissed her, fondled her, even gave her head. Except for one time, my wife never reciprocated, and no hard feelings ever resulted. Go, have fun, do what you wish to.

Your post was a hoot, Babblebrox, and it took some effort to write it! Thanks!

Swinger Dick!! Yeah it happens. It is surprisingly difficult to get and maintain a hard on with just a warm body there. A person that you have no interaction with. The time I have experienced the same was a very similar situation. Basically having sex with a woman that never really wanted to talk to me. I like to think it's because we are not assholes that only want to put our penis in a warm pussy. More accurately I would just say that gang bangs are not your thing. They are not mine. Really fun read though, and good luck with everything in the future.

By fortunately chance, shortly after my wife had our child, I happened to acquire a new digital camera. With a little coaxing, she let me take some sexy pictures of her and post them on a website that catered to amateur sexy pictures. She'd probably never admit it, but I truly believe the resulting comments showing that a wide variety of strangers on the internet were jerking off to the sight of her post-baby body helped her self-esteem quite a lot. So, I honestly submit - as a husband, a father and a swinger - you can be his true preference... not "because he loves you" or "you gave him children" or "he loves you for you" but because he truly, genuinely can find you sexually desirable. I know you're not in a place where you believe that right now, and I'm sorry for that, but it is possible.

These are always good. I've had the opposite thought, an attractive female boss who is happily married and religiously conservative. She doesn't show much skin but certain skirts show enough leg that I can't not notice. That's one of the only times I've felt strongly that I specifically would have to fuck a woman bareback, in part because of the tremendous amount of work that would have to go into that particular "forbidden fruit". Cumming inside her once, hard, would give a little closure to whatever nagging instinct that is. Mrs. EastInWest knows, but trusts me and thinks it's cute, and wouldn't mind fucking my boss's boss...so...there's a very complicated office Christmas party scenario in there somewhere. It's not that unusual. The "making out" part is a little past me but I have a similar feeling about cum and about Mrs. EastInWest getting cum on her body and face, and it's a big part of what I get out of the idea of her sucking cock. The male from our semi-regular play couple turned out to be a heavy cummer and a fellow breast man, so it works out. A lot of the group sex is obvious, and Mrs. EastInWest's sister would make a fine addition to an FMF...but that will always be a bridge too far. Probably the wildest one, that really is "just a fantasy and is better left as a fantasy" and might be controversial here: I've had a couple of dreams that stuck with me about Mrs. EastInWest's body as payment. #1) We're shopping for some sexy clothing, a manager is helping her with the changing room. I want her to have a dress she likes, but it's not something we can even consider buying that day because the store is an expensive one. Eventually, I realize she's taking too long to check out, come back through and find her in the changing room on her knees slurping and moaning softly with the door ajar, down to a black lacy bra and panties with her lips wrapped around the manager's cock and his hands buried in her blond hair while she bobs away. It's understood that she's getting the dress. I open the door for a better view and she sees me there, but I'm going to let her finish. #2) We're in our hotel room between sessions, room service knocks. She answers in an open robe and isn't sure how much to tip the wide-eyed kid. I invite him to put his hands wherever he likes, and she's in disbelief and closes the robe at first but plays along. Amateur night at a strip club wouldn't be a bad one, either. I'm not qualified to figure out whatever Freudian anxieties all that discloses.

Our first rule was 'no married men'. That rule changed to 'no married men without their wife's consent'. That rule changed to 'married men are fine'. When we started we were mid 40s. Most of the single men we found had issues. It was very hard to find a compatible guy. Eventually, we started accepting invitations to guys who admitted to being married and in a sexless relationship. We found these guys to be extremely passionate, thankful, generous and uninhibited. They had gone so long without sex that it was like Christmas for them. So yea, it's cheating, it's horrible and all. My wife went into this not ever wanting to be 'the other woman'. But if a wife decides to become selfish and distant, that's a problem that can result in consequences. I think my wife justified it by thinking that she didn't cause the bad marriage, she was just the end result. At the end of the day, we do what makes us happy. You can eliminate some of your concerns simply by making sure the guy knows, going into a first meeting, there will be no sex. If he's married, he needs to sit thru dinner and answer some tough, sensitive questions. He needs to know that YOUR wife is who is in charge of this and all decisions will be made by her, on her terms, in her time. Then, by the time he shows up to fuck, he knows that he's been vetted and has had expectations defined. Then just hold on!

First, I welcome you to Swingersboard. My wife and I have been solicited by men who are hiding things from a spouse or significant other. But we have also had success in meeting men who are truly single, earnest, personable, and capable. I believe that what shields us from people having hidden agendas is the fact that we have settled upon using only two truly-effective swing hook-up Web sites. We tried many over the years and judged them by the amount of foolishness that went on rather than the number of hits that our on-line profiles would receive. Another strategy that led to our success was to meet people at private swing clubs. What methods do you use for finding these men? I suspect that you could maybe use better.

Your instincts are correct that playing with married men (or men in a committed relationship) who are cheating is nasty, with potential drama as well. I would look for an married couple who has the same approach as you do. If your not looking for swapping sex for you, only MFMs, then look for another couple that mirrors your situation, whether that is a bi experience for yur wife, for you or for both. Patience, the right couple is out there.

Those who have read the book Sex Before Dawn will understand that this is not a "kink". It's an artifact of evolution. But there are some (such as myself) who did not inherit the gene. Or the gene is, at least, recessive. Does not prevent my understanding of this natural impulse. Have fun, boys. While you're watching, I'll be the guy screwing your wife

I always said my wife was my favorite pornstar.

Great advice to let it go. If she got caught up in the heat of the moment it's certainly not worthy of more than a discussion, and being over it. She knows how you feel and there's no point in going further and

Yes, let it go. A one time happening is a mistake, if it happens again THEN it might be a problem. The two of you have discussed the situation and it sounds like things are now over. Don't beat her up about it or hold it over her...just let it go.

If your wife understood your concern and agreed to do better in the future, let it go and move on. You may make a boo-boo at a later date and you will appreciate your wife's forgiveness!

As you know, my wife has had a few gangbangs and enjoyed them a lot. At the end of the night, no matter how many guys she's fucked, she always comes home with me. Because I'm the guy she married. I'm the guy she loves. I think you need to identify the source of your insecurities and admit them to her. At the same time, you need to listen to her and respect her feelings and desires. The greatest risk I see to your relationship is your own insecurity. You wanted your wife to "free herself." I say let her be free. You are the guy she will go home with at the end of night. Because you are the guy she married. You are the guy she loves.