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Luvin, no worries thank you for the sound advice. Wsb421, your situation is spot on with ours. Wornsilver and Alura, thanks for sharing your wisdom. We will continue to keep our communication open and see how things progress. I am fine if we don't go any further and fine if it does.

Cinnamon, I'm in a similar situation. My wife wants to perhaps participate in some LS activity and then when the calendar comes out... not so much. I think what Luvin originally wrote was some swinging tough love, which was of course still intended as love.

Just posted this in another forum: Love trust communication. One (or more) needs to be made stronger. We both KNOW that we are going to be together no matter what...not think, not hope, KNOW. Neither of us are going anywhere. There isn't anyone good enough in bed to lure us away (in fact, we have both learned new 'tricks' from others that did things differently and shared them with our partner). Since he is interested, there's still a chance for you both. He just needs to KNOW that you are forever, and that comes from love, trust and communication (there's never too much of any of the three). Work on them and the worst thing that can happen is your relationship grows. Maybe some day he will be ready, but don't rush or pressure him (always move at the speed the slowest person is comfortable with). This isn't a race, it's just play, fun, excitement, whatever, but it is not going to fix any problems that may exist. This will never be more important than US. Good luck and let us know how things progress. At the same time, if either of us were to tell the other they wanted to stop...we would stop without ever looking back. We are the most important thing in each others lives and this is just for fun...spice, something different, exciting. Fond memories, yes, did some things that neither of us ever thought would happen, absolutely, but not even remotely important enough to chance loosing the other over. This IS a Pandora's box that cannot be re closed after it is opened and if one of you isn't ready yet, then don't do it. You may come back to it later, you might never return, but unless you are both READY (without doubt), it's better to be safe. Work on the BIG THREE (above) and maybe some day you will return. Good luck with whatever you both decide to do.

Love trust communication. One (or more) needs to be made stronger. We both KNOW that we are going to be together no matter what...not think, not hope, KNOW. Neither of us are going anywhere. There isn't anyone good enough in bed to lure us away (in fact, we have both learned new 'tricks' from others that did things differently and shared them with our partner). Since he is interested, there's still a chance for you both. He just needs to KNOW that you are forever, and that comes from love, trust and communication (there's never too much of any of the three). Work on them and the worst thing that can happen is your relationship grows. Maybe some day he will be ready, but don't rush or pressure him (always move at the speed the slowest person is comfortable with). This isn't a race, it's just play, fun, excitement, whatever, but it is not going to fix any problems that may exist. This will never be more important than US. Good luck and let us know how things progress.

Lol Stern and here i was tiring to tone it down a bit - hmm looks like we all have some work to do lol Crushed implies ( in this context and to myself anyway ) self centered and a more poor me then to the more important things like love = devotion to your mate and so on. - I am most happy to here that your problem is more disappointment then crushed as this changes the whole thing, We have been married for over 30 years and in the game for so long the shine has so what come off lol any way we have seen many partners hurt each other by this type of feeling ( one wants to the not and the hurt begins ) The two of you are the most important and i'm glad to see you know that too - so many these days are all about how they feel i think they have lost what marriage is all about. So mybe that's where my seeming stern comes across - but be assured all we want is to see you guys over come anything that will come over the years and the only way is to put you guys 1st. all of which you all ready know. Good Luck to both off you.

Been out of the loop for a bit and finally back in... attended my first big event in several years. The one thing that really struck me was the complete imbalance in presentation between males vs females. 90%+ of the females dressed to impress (even if they didn't dress to theme - which, of course, most did - it was Naughty Schoolgirl night), yet less than 10% of the men bothered to even dress nice (not even talking about dressing to theme, but just not in shorts and a tank top). My theory (please feel free to dispel it) is that most of those couples were there just for the girls to play and thus the guys did not feel any need to impress. About half of the guys who did bother to dress nice were single guys and actually made the statement to me that "I'm single I know I have to do more to stand out" (well played). As a woman who is there to play with guys (as much, if not more than, to play with women) it irks me that guys don't make an effort. It's a huge turn-off to see guys looking like they aren't doing anything more than running errands on a Saturday afternoon. I'd love to get ya'lls thoughts on this dichotomy, and find out if other women are seeing the same thing.

I felt the exact same way your husband feels for most of our marriage. "Marking his territory" is probably his way of saying "I am not good enough for you, you will leave me for him" There isn't a way to magically make him feel secure with you. Pushing a swinging agenda will only reinforce his feelings. He has to gain the security in the marriage. Many marriages have one partner that would love to be a swinger. Almost every one never gets past the initial conversation, if that even takes place. It may be a little unusual for your situation since it's almost always the husband that is looking for this, not different though. Be careful, for his sake,

I have a fantasy of doing a 69 with a hot girl as her (hot) husband does her from behind. As I lick her clit and pussy it becomes indiscriminate as to what and whom I'm licking and sucking. As things heat up they both cum and gush all over my face. My girl could be sitting on me as the other girl licks and sucks us... I've done this as the guy from behind as the two girls do the 69, but being the one underneath would really turn me on. You asked!

I've probably been around here too long, CinnamonSwirl, and posted similar things so often that many members will say, "What? He said that again??" With that in mind: My late wife and I made a pact on our second date that we would never get angry because a question was asked. The agreement served us well for the next thirty years. It removed the fear of talking about anything, including her death. I've written a memoir about her last day entitled, "A Golden Butterfly Fluttered By" and will be pleased to share it with you. I've copyrighted it and you will not be allowed to share it with others. I need you to send me an email asking for a PDF copy. I will attach it, without charge, to the reply. I think your marriage will be long and happy.

My ex and I had an old Victorian home, we renovated the bathroom. It's very distinctive. On XHamster I saw a shot of a woman's legs in that bathtub! But, unless my ex has lost 30 pounds, it's not her. I'd love to know the story behind that picture!

I'm not sure you need to own that "crush" was too strong. We are dealing with strong emotions here, all of them are not positive, and I thought your choice of words was perfect for what you were trying to communicate to us, the readers. Sorry for your first "clunkers" which was also a perfect word, thanks to njbm. It seems that one of the supremely positive outcomes of successful swinging is a higher level of communication than couples imagined. This may be, swinging or not, a result of your experiences. Hope so.

My wife was online looking at profiles this past weekend and found me in the background of another couple's picture. I was standing behind them and clearly checking out the woman's ass. Things like this probably happens quite a bit.

Twice I've had Facebook friends message me to tell me they were no longer swinging... people I had no idea were swingers in the first place.