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You have to do what is comfortable for you as a couple. If it is truly a "hotel takeover", then you are unlikely to see a guest who is not there for the same reason you are. Hotel staff see so many people that they remember essentially no one. Moreover, they understand that discretion is part of the business. The "as a couple" aspect matters. At the end of the day, the two of you need to be happy. Candidly, if you are doing adult things together, no one seems to mind. Some years ago, after several trips to a nude resort, we got tired of making up stories and simply mentioned that we had just returned from xxxx. A few days later, several friends independently came to us and said, "you went THERE? What was it like? Weren't you uncomfortable?" Some of them made reservations and went and had a great time.

Mrs Doc once had sex on a barstool in a public venue with the husband of a swinger couple we'd just met. It just sort of happened. She was wearing a skirt, no panties and he was standing next to her chatting her up. She turned towards him and he just kind of eased between her legs. Her skirt rode up and he started to fondle her. Before the other wife or I realized what was happening (I had my hand under her bra) Mrs Doc got his dick out and in. She said with a smile, "honey, he just took a dip". We left shortly after and the four of us had a very hot evening. She's often said that she'd like to do that again some time.

Turn this around: Imagine HE'S really into the woman and you aren't particularly into the guy (as in not sexually interested at all). How would you feel? That he is not sexually interested in the woman and you still want to get together with them is pretty much the definition of 'taking one for the team'. If either of you two say no to anyone or anything, the answer MUST ALWAYS be no for both of you...no questions, no penalties. He's said no to this couple, then move on and find the next couple. At the same time: This is also a bad thing. While swinging IS a team sport, there shouldn't be any score kept or (other than for discussion sake) no other stats kept from the past. Either you both 'win' or you shouldn't be playing the game with whoever you are playing it with. The past is nothing but a pleasant memory, everything else has got to be let go. It sounds like he feels that he has been taking one for the team too many times in the past (usually it's the woman who feels this way, but in the name of equality it's fine if he is feeling it). If a couple isn't a go for both of you, move on. If one partner is feeling like they are making all of the sacrifices, this will lead to problems down the road. Listen to what your husband is saying and tell him that it's okay that he feels this way. DO NOT minimize his attempts at communicating with you. Find another couple and remember that how your husband feels is more important than how you may feel about a play mate. Play mates can be replaced much easier than husbands. His feelings and him being able to tell you about it (i.e. his trust and communication) should be the most important things in the world to you.

Sigh. I have come across so many posts describing men that have struggled for years to entice their wives or girlfriends. So when my partner recently commented that "he doesn't want another guy marking his territory", well I found myself a little stuck as I haven't come across this response in any of the articles I have read. He isn't completely disinterested. There have been times when he has been jazzed at the idea. Nor do his concerns present as insecure, fearful, or suggest an aggressive, worrisome sort of dominance. Just simple. Healthy. Matter of fact-like. As this territorial concept seems to have become more and more rigid I find myself at a bit of a loss. I have consistently read that communication is the key to living this lifestyle. But also never wanting to coerce, pressure or verbally manipulate your partner into doing something they aren't ready for. Any suggestions on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated

I'm not comfortable with places and people too close to home. I also think it's easier to separate work and play if they're some distance apart. You come home and you switch off and go into your work mode. I'm not sure that my discomfort is justified, I just know that I feel the way I do.

Home and back to mundane life. All went well, and we did get to do some hiking on our own on Monday. The rest of it was mostly screwing and relaxing, and I'd love to say we're all "fucked out" but we've definitely taken some of the energy home with us. Six is a good number, both in and out of the bedroom. It's small enough to get everyone together, but if one couple needs to break off for a while or a couple of people in the group feel like sitting out, it doesn't spoil any plans. I'll try to post some more in the 'adventures' forum later.

We view swinging as a reward to both of us, as perk to our relationship. For this to work for us, we both have to be 100% in agreement on who we play with, and both of us have full veto power for any reason. If one of us isn't fully into the other couple, there is no way we would play with them, even if we didn't have anything else to do. I think the biggest mistake people make in the lifestyle is putting pressure on themselves to be with others. We were like that when we started, but it has evolved to if we find someone and have a good 4 way connection then we play. If not, we are perfectly content just having sex with each other. I certainly don't want to feel like I am in a position where I have to have sex with someone, just because my wife wants to be with the guy. If she pressed me, it would probably end our swinging completely. I would view it as her being selfish, no one should feel like the are 'owed' anything. There have been many times where I have cock blocked my wife and she has done the same to me. Taking one for the team is simply not an option for us. Swinging should not cause hard feelings or frustration. It needs to be fun, exciting and something you both want to do. Anytime we have felt any tension of frustration because of swinging, we take a break until we are on the same page again.

Be very careful, forcing anything on anyone is a bad idea. He will quickly resent swinging altogether if you make him take one for the team, allowing him to be uncomfortable just so you can be is a deal and relationship killer. Tread lightly and good luck Remember alway at the slowest persons comfort level, always!

Skyn

i have seen many posts and talked to many guys that just do not want to "share" there partner - i do think as well it comes from a deep if UN-acknowledged fear of not being as good as what you will find if he agree's to swing. Now that may not be how you think but some guys just think Oh crap what i see she is really saying is that i don't please her like she wants and now she's looking else where. once again you may not think that. So if you ever want to go forward then you need to go backwards 1st - find the problems - it could be he thinks a wife does not act that way or crap i'm a bad screw ( there could be many reasons you need to find them in a loving way ) While your man may not say why lets face it - the world today tell both women and men that they are no good at sex and need a pill or to get bigger tits,dicks and god knows what, and if you don't then how can you please your partner - this says to those that get worried about it that they do not messure up and then along comes there partner and says hey we should try swinging lol. Once agian this may not be how you see it but it's hard on some one that lets this kind of crap into there thinking. You and him are doing nothing wrong so just take time and build each other up and take GoldCoCouple advice as it is the truth of the matter. Good luck we hope it goes well.

Hi all. My husband and I have been in the LS for about 7 months. Had some things not go as planned but got right back on the horse. Met this great couple that we did soft swap with. Set up a second date with the intention of full swap. Husband and I were both comfortable and excited or so I thought. Days before we were to meet my husband came to me and said he no longer wanted to do this lifestyle and gave me his reasons which I understood. He was scared of this changing us, of the unknown or us getting hurt. I could go on and on. Which we had discussed all of this prior to making the leap. I understand things change and this can be such a roller coaster ride at the beginning. I am so surprised at how crushed I fell. I was really looking forward to being with this couple. However; I do not know how to deal with the desire to still experience this. I feel like someone gave me a chocolate bar and right as I was putting it in my mouth it fell into the dirt. I am not sure how to just turn this off and be okay with it.

I felt the exact same way your husband feels for most of our marriage. "Marking his territory" is probably his way of saying "I am not good enough for you, you will leave me for him" There isn't a way to magically make him feel secure with you. Pushing a swinging agenda will only reinforce his feelings. He has to gain the security in the marriage. Many marriages have one partner that would love to be a swinger. Almost every one never gets past the initial conversation, if that even takes place. It may be a little unusual for your situation since it's almost always the husband that is looking for this, not different though. Be careful, for his sake,

The best feeling for me are the Durex Real Feel Non-Latex. They are made of polyisoprene and not latex. The seem to run on the bigger side for a "normal" condom, either that or they stretch more. I'm a bit over 8" and find them very comfortable, even forgetting I have one on at times. I have ripped several putting them on, especially if I try to pull it to cover all the way to the base. They cover about 7". They are thin and do tend to break easier than traditional condoms, but have never broke one during actual sex. I also like 'Skyn', but not quite as good as the 'real feel', but they do seem more durable and come in a larger size.

Let us know how the resort is (and which one it is). We are thinking of spending some time with another couple there ourselves and are interested in other's thoughts. I know at least one of the resorts have changed hands in the last year...

Single females in the community are referred to as 'unicorns' because of their rarity (actually unicorns are more common). I'm guessing that most people who are contacting you want to meet to make sure that you are what you say you are. Too many 'swinging single women' are not...well, women. Because of your rarity, people want to meet you just on the outside hope that you might be what you say you are but to also make sure that you are not just a troll or pix collector playing on the internet. The other side of this is you ARE a rarity so YOU get to set the rules. First, are you looking for just men, women, or couples to play with? You MIGHT be better with trying to find someone who does house parties and contact them. House parties are usually smaller events usually limited to couples (and of course unicorns) that are vetted and therefore there usually isn't the 'feeding frenzy' of fresh unicorn blood in the water in a pool full of parana. The other option is to just ask your husband to go with you to a club for the first time...not to do anything, just to get the feel of the place and maybe make a contact or two. Just remember, YOU have all of the power here, don't forget that. You control what, who, when and how anything proceeds. Anyone who is less than completely professional and polite get ignored. Don't be intimidated by people who are too pushy. They know that you are most likely getting 100's of replies and are just trying to get your attention. Unless you are looking for just men, I would NEVER agree to meet with a guy alone (my wife can't make it this time but she will the next...just say no). Take your time and be particular. Have fun and if you need any more help or suggestions, we would recommend you stop by our house for a chat...anytime, just say when, we are always available!

We have seen all kinds of activities going on in Rooftop's pool. Even walking around the pool made us both thankful we don't eat with our feet. Cleanliness or an apparent lack thereof is why we've never gone back. On the other hand, we have had wonderful times in the hot tub at DJ's, the one at TPA and the biggest and best we've ever seen in a swingers club, TJ's near Harrisburg. All three of those places are well kept and seemingly very clean. Still, it only takes one guy with a bad case of athletes foot or a sufficient lack of self control to make egg drop soup to ruin your evening.

The whole group activity thing...everybody in the same room...really amazing

I know this was my original post. For me I was never attracted to other females sexually. For me it was a thing with a college girlfriend that led me to swinging. After spending a night with her and her guy friend I think I couldn't wait to be with her again. My husband fulfills all my sexual needs but I really enjoy going to parties more for the girls than the guys. I would never even thought of that before.

Gee, just about everything. Had MFMs, FMFs, swaps, watched my wife have sex with two guys, had sex with another guy both ends of oral and anal, done DPs. Never done any of that before.

It was about 6 years ago that I sewed the seeds of the idea with my wife. It took a further two years spadework after that before she agreed to meet up with a couple we'd met online. We spent a day with them and their family which was interesting if anything. The couples wife was very hot to get in on but I was a bit reticent. Nothing happened but that night we ended up in a swingers club in the northern suburbs of Pretoria - full of nerves and excitement. We finally ended up in the voyeur room. I remember being pleasantly facinated watching two blue-rinse ladies in their sixties sharing husbands, riding them in long slow movements or blowing them at length in the most senusal manner. It was just so erotic. My wife didn't feel comfortable, so we didn't swing - I was also unsure of the ground I was on, so simply made out amongst the rest of the participants. It was wonderful. On that evening we met another couple whom we befriended and clubbed together a few times. But it didn't work out for my wife, cause the other husband would "pop" before he had even penetrated, But we still remain friends. In the last year we have found a couple closer to home who have been ideal that that there is enough allround chemistry. And we have had a few good parties together. Slowly my wife is shedding her inhibitions and slowly starting to enjoy herself - and that is really want turns me on - hearing her soft moans while enjoying another guy.