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Seems to me that you need to ask her if she is satisfied or not and then go from there. I know in our case, my wife would not be satisfied and we have been down that road. Like you, we are a light circulation couple but the ones we have been with, none have really satisfied her. We talked about it and she said she would like more foreplay whereas, it seems, the guy is all about jumping on and pounding away. We agreed that she should set the pace and let her partner know up front. She needs to give him feedback (more/less, faster/slower, higher/lower)to enhance the experience for her and thus for him too. Unless she is getting something out of it, this could be a premature end to what could be a great time for you as a couple.

When my wife let a girl go down on her, after saying it would never happen.

It seems that either the guys can go for awhile or they don't last very long at all. Both are fine as long as they make sure that the woman is totally pleasured...but if they aren't bothering to see to that happening, then find another guy/couple. If it happens once, it could just be nerves or inexperience, but if it happens a second time, then the guy is only thinking about himself and that isn't a good match IMHO. If pleasuring their partner isn't a priority, then find someone else who feels it is.

We’ve tried Web sites other than SLS. What we found at these other sites is the same set of usual suspects.

We were on the Azamara Quest as well and had a pretty good time. But we will not be booking anything with LLV again. For them, it was all about the $$ and looking good. From the private playroom that required an invitation (besides the bigger playroom but right next to it and closed off) to the price gouging for bus transfer from the ship to the hotel. Bus was something like $60 pre-book and then $90 cash if booked on the ship. We took a cab for less than $25 including tip and bag fee and were among the first to checkin at the hotel. Checked into the hotel before the buses arrived and then complete chaos.The final item that made us say "no more with LLV" was the playroom itself. Little ambiance and the clean up was a clean towel. We did not see the sheets changed nor bed sanitized after use during the night. We are hoping the sheets were changed for each day but stil... We have seen playrooms on other LS cruises and this one really lacked attention and detail. We have also taken 4 cruises through Couples Cruises and 3 through Bliss. Couples Cruise is by far the best run outfit and is customer focused. Bliss falls in-between and still about the $$ but not like LLV. The cruise itinerary was great and the ship was very nice. If we were to do a European LS cruise again, there are a couple of cruises using the same ship through Desire. We have been to Desire several times and if they run their cruises like they run their resorts, we will be giving them a try in the future.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that there was no reliable test for HPV for men? Also, I understand that most Hpv infections are cleared by one’s system in 6-24 months and they do not typically lead to oral or cervical cancer. It’s not a good thing to have, but it does not invariably lead to cancer.

For those of us in the medical community, old news. We (personally) have two male colleagues, non smokers, who have developed squamous cancers of the oral cavity at a relatively young age. Both HPV positive in the cancer. This is a strong argument for administering the HPV vaccine to youth of both sexes as the article points out. Oral sex is certainly a risk factor. However, if you have been pleasuring diverse women orally for a half century, you have surely been exposed many times. Get tested if you wish, but there is nothing actionable short of deciding to use a dental dam. There is no treatment for HPV carrier status.

Basically, I'd say if you're concerned that swinging could cost you your marriage, than your marriage is not in a place where swinging is a good idea. I'm curious - what is that attracts you to swinging as an idea? What do you feel swinging will bring to relationship? Also, I wonder why you feel swinging has less "structure and accountability" then BDSM. I ask because that has not been my experience... though everyone's experiences are different.

I didn't know that. Thank you!

I would respectfully disagree. I would define swinging as including a married or committed couple (even if one doesn't choose to participate.) If both people in a sexual act are not in a committed relationship, I would define it as 'hooking up,' or 'casual sex.'

My husband and I have friends that are married that we spend lots of time with each other. We are very very open about everything and a few months ago me and the the other girl made out quite sexually at a bar the majority of the night drinking. Ever since then my husband has been convinced that something might happen in the future and so we talked a long time about if it would ever happen and how we would feel. The thought of a foursome with our best friends kinda scared me a bit since I have only ever been with my husband sexually. I dismissed my husband that he was just not reading them right and that nothing would ever happen,even though since the first time we kissed it had happened again and our conversations always had a bit more sexual undertones. Last night we got drinking again and sure enough we were talking and flirting with each other and end up making out again in our bedroom. Naturally the men begged to see our boobs which eventually led to clothing be removed. It started out as having sex with our partners beside each other but it led to touching our friends all over and eventually swapped partners. It was a lot of fun and it was a first for everyone when it came to group sex and we are definitely hoping for it to happen again in the future

It is super sexy seeing your wife with someone else, I have never sat back and just watched. I have always participated in the action, we have only did MFM 2 times but both were very enjoyable. My wife was so turned on that when we tried dp she took the other guys dick in her ass so easily. But we also role play her with other guys at home. I write spicy sex stories for her and then I blind fold her while she rides the dildo and I read her the story she had some good orgasms

I agree with the OP, there is no 'normal'. In fact, it's one of our least favorite words. We have done MFM vs MFMF at about a 10:1 ratio over the years. I enjoy watching her and I generally join in during playtime. Just recently, at a club, she was with a large number of guys over the course of an evening. Nothing quite like Mrs. Vaitape asking a guy that had just come up to us to 'Do you want to fuck me?'. What fun.

Now every time I've watched my wonderful wife having sex with another man, I've been playing with his wife. But, honestly, I've enjoyed watching her/them as much as I've enjoyed his wife. She doesn't want to play anymore but, if she did, I think I'd want to explore threesomes with a guy and us more than couples swap. Enjoying another woman is, of course, great but it was rather distracting too.

I love watching my wife fucking another guy. It's one of favorite aspects of swinging. I like to watch and she loves to perform for an audience. We've had times where I watch and she plays and I fuck her afterward. We've done threesomes, where the other guy and I play with her together. We've had times were she and I play and other people watch. We've had times when she goes out and plays by herself then comes home and tells me all the details while she and I play. Lots of fun all around. In short, there are a lot of options in swinging and very little "normal." What is key is making sure that everyone involved understands the rules, expectations and boundaries and abides by them in good faith.

That's great and I hope it leads to a lot more fun and a much closer friendship for all four of you. My wife and I started when our best friends seduced us in the mid 80s. That was the only thing my wife and I could talk about for the next week. It is really great to have good friends you can also play with. The couple eventually divorced but we are still close friends with both of them. The husband is still our best friend and we still play with him on a regular basis. Sex with friends is great.