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Been out of the loop for a bit and finally back in... attended my first big event in several years. The one thing that really struck me was the complete imbalance in presentation between males vs females. 90%+ of the females dressed to impress (even if they didn't dress to theme - which, of course, most did - it was Naughty Schoolgirl night), yet less than 10% of the men bothered to even dress nice (not even talking about dressing to theme, but just not in shorts and a tank top). My theory (please feel free to dispel it) is that most of those couples were there just for the girls to play and thus the guys did not feel any need to impress. About half of the guys who did bother to dress nice were single guys and actually made the statement to me that "I'm single I know I have to do more to stand out" (well played). As a woman who is there to play with guys (as much, if not more than, to play with women) it irks me that guys don't make an effort. It's a huge turn-off to see guys looking like they aren't doing anything more than running errands on a Saturday afternoon. I'd love to get ya'lls thoughts on this dichotomy, and find out if other women are seeing the same thing.

Sex is about pleasure. Communicating what makes you feel good, what you want, and the actions that you want repeated and intensified is part of the deal. Established couples usually--but not always--know the other's responses and can read the other's responses. Yet even after 42 years together, we still unhesitatingly let the other know what we want more (and less) of. The jealousy issue is a separate matter. A new partner will evoke new sensations, new energies. That's the point, isn't it? If you find a man who goes down on you and your spouse is seeing/hearing/sensing your pleasure, he'll respond. As for your "lady parts", there is almost certainly 'nothing wrong'. If you are concerned, see your healthcare provider. Ask about the common problems such as yeast, trichomonas, and bacterial vaginosis. Part of what providers do is provide reassurance.

There is no ***approved*** test for HPV in men. The current test, which amplifies the HPV DNA, is both sensitive and specific. It is also blind to the origin of the swab. It does not care if you are male, female, or taken from a set of cells in culture. Why is the test not approved? FDA approval is a complex process. It take money and time. For the latter, there has to be a health impact. For women, HPV testing complements (some would say "has all but replaced") Pap smears for screening for cervical cancer. That was worth the investment because it accelerated detection and treatment of a highly lethal cancer in stages early enough to remove the tissue at risk--up to and including hysterectomy. The situation is a bit different for men because the dotted line--carrier status to cancer patient is blurrier and further the appropriate treatment would be difficult until the precise location of the problem is identified. By far the best approach at the moment is early vaccination of both sexes. It does not eliminate risk but it does mitigate risk. Yes, most people do clear HPV infections over time. The common wart is also a manifestation of HPV infection. Many-- if not most -- people have had a wart eventually "go away".

Completely disagree. In particular, I disagree with the "You don't want to lose a good fuck" aspect. It seems this would be the epitome of selfishness, in that it is thinking about one's own pleasure at the expense of a partner's anguish (maybe anguish is too strong a word, maybe not). For us, and the majority of couples we know, if both aren't into it, we both aren't into it. Period. T

Take a deep breath!! A MFM threesome isn't about YOU and it isn't about YOUR dick, it isn't even about HIS dick. Its about pleasuring your wife. At the end of the night, she'll tale a shower and go to sleep with you. He will either be good in the rack or not but it won't really matter a whole lot. The experience and the moment will. Mrs Doc says that being the object of the undivided attention of two men is one of the high points of this hobby. Don't let penis envy or penis insecurity spoil HER fun.

We've been on SLS for about three years now (the year in-between we took off so really two years) In that time there has not been very few new people on SLS that are actually active... In fact after taking a year off there was almost nobody that was new and active (but almost all the previous people were still there). We tried other sites and they were virtually dead for our area. We do hear hints of KIK groups but I'm not going to spend my time wading through KIK groups. There are a few couples we enjoy but we are not that active locally. Most of our activity is going out of town to a club for a weekend and now trying cruises and planning to attend hotel takeovers. I think this is going to be how we operate going forward.. A few of the local group events and for actually playing doing an out of town club/hotel takeover/etc every month or two. It's more money but less of a time investment.

Great advice. We’ve both had to pass on attractive playmates so that our partners were not uncomfortable.

Im by nature, training and experience a very suspicious man. Have you considered that this guy is not some kind of perv but instead a criminal. I wonder if his "wife" is a willing participant or if she has been coerced in to helping him recruite your wife. Taking pictures and then using them as blackmail is a BIG tool in the process. You should immediately (TODAY) contact the police department's sex crimes unit and then follow their instructions. Do NOT allow your wife anywhere near those two ever again and if one or the other or both show up at your house, call the cops. This sounds to me like either prostitution or the tip of the iceberg with a human trafficking ring. Protect your wife!

My husband and I have friends that are married that we spend lots of time with each other. We are very very open about everything and a few months ago me and the the other girl made out quite sexually at a bar the majority of the night drinking. Ever since then my husband has been convinced that something might happen in the future and so we talked a long time about if it would ever happen and how we would feel. The thought of a foursome with our best friends kinda scared me a bit since I have only ever been with my husband sexually. I dismissed my husband that he was just not reading them right and that nothing would ever happen,even though since the first time we kissed it had happened again and our conversations always had a bit more sexual undertones. Last night we got drinking again and sure enough we were talking and flirting with each other and end up making out again in our bedroom. Naturally the men begged to see our boobs which eventually led to clothing be removed. It started out as having sex with our partners beside each other but it led to touching our friends all over and eventually swapped partners. It was a lot of fun and it was a first for everyone when it came to group sex and we are definitely hoping for it to happen again in the future

Turn this around: Imagine HE'S really into the woman and you aren't particularly into the guy (as in not sexually interested at all). How would you feel? That he is not sexually interested in the woman and you still want to get together with them is pretty much the definition of 'taking one for the team'. If either of you two say no to anyone or anything, the answer MUST ALWAYS be no for both of you...no questions, no penalties. He's said no to this couple, then move on and find the next couple. At the same time: This is also a bad thing. While swinging IS a team sport, there shouldn't be any score kept or (other than for discussion sake) no other stats kept from the past. Either you both 'win' or you shouldn't be playing the game with whoever you are playing it with. The past is nothing but a pleasant memory, everything else has got to be let go. It sounds like he feels that he has been taking one for the team too many times in the past (usually it's the woman who feels this way, but in the name of equality it's fine if he is feeling it). If a couple isn't a go for both of you, move on. If one partner is feeling like they are making all of the sacrifices, this will lead to problems down the road. Listen to what your husband is saying and tell him that it's okay that he feels this way. DO NOT minimize his attempts at communicating with you. Find another couple and remember that how your husband feels is more important than how you may feel about a play mate. Play mates can be replaced much easier than husbands. His feelings and him being able to tell you about it (i.e. his trust and communication) should be the most important things in the world to you.

We view swinging as a reward to both of us, as perk to our relationship. For this to work for us, we both have to be 100% in agreement on who we play with, and both of us have full veto power for any reason. If one of us isn't fully into the other couple, there is no way we would play with them, even if we didn't have anything else to do. I think the biggest mistake people make in the lifestyle is putting pressure on themselves to be with others. We were like that when we started, but it has evolved to if we find someone and have a good 4 way connection then we play. If not, we are perfectly content just having sex with each other. I certainly don't want to feel like I am in a position where I have to have sex with someone, just because my wife wants to be with the guy. If she pressed me, it would probably end our swinging completely. I would view it as her being selfish, no one should feel like the are 'owed' anything. There have been many times where I have cock blocked my wife and she has done the same to me. Taking one for the team is simply not an option for us. Swinging should not cause hard feelings or frustration. It needs to be fun, exciting and something you both want to do. Anytime we have felt any tension of frustration because of swinging, we take a break until we are on the same page again.

Be very careful, forcing anything on anyone is a bad idea. He will quickly resent swinging altogether if you make him take one for the team, allowing him to be uncomfortable just so you can be is a deal and relationship killer. Tread lightly and good luck Remember alway at the slowest persons comfort level, always!

TL;DR Pharmaceuticals are your friend and don't show up bareback to a cock-sleeve fight Hello everyone! Longtime lurker, first time caller... err... poster. I apologize in advance for the novel I've written. I just had to tell someone about my first gangbang experience but I can't exactly bring it up with friends over a bowl of pho at the local eatery. "So what have you been up to?" "Oh nothing, just me and two other dudes made a girl airtight." Not exactly light conversation. So herein lies the tragedy of my first gangbang. I was casually browsing a popular kink website when I see that a person I've been friends with for a while posted that two people have backed out of her gangbang. "This will not stand", says I. "Will no one help this poor woman?" I knew I was just the man to do it. Leaping into action I boldly sent a message. After some back and forth talk, a few pics sent to make sure I'm not too much of a bridge troll, and voila, I have my invite. As an aside I would just like to say when I woke up this morning if you had told me what I would be getting into mere hours later I would have branded you a liar. This was totally out of nowhere and completely unexpected. It was at that moment I realized what I had done. Those voices of self-doubt rose up like a cloud of ravens in my mind, pecking away at my confidence. I started figuring out excuses to back out when a message arrived asking me if I am 100% doing this. My hands acquired a mind of their own and vigorously confirmed. "We don't have time to sort through messages only for people to flake on us. If you commit and don't show up you will not be on the list of play partners in the future." Well, damn. Can't back out now if I ever want to do anything with them ever again. I dove into the shower, scrubbing and shaving, double scrubbing, triple scrubbing. You know what, just to be safe let's scrub that spot again. I checked the clock... only six hours left! I briefly considered whether or not I have time for another shower. To calm my nerves I read lots of articles and stories about other peoples first times, etiquette, so on and so forth. I decided that in the worst case scenario I can grab my shoes and dive out a nearby window. Also, there's going to be like 5 other people there! I can get lost in the crowd and slip away! The time comes and I am told where to go. A hotel. On a floor much higher than ground. So much for my daring window escape plan. Perhaps I could build a crude glider using bath towels and a desk chair? I show up and sit in the lobby until I am sent for. A very, VERY large man came to escort me to the room and on our way, in a voice usually reserved for discussing the price of bulk seed corn, he laid out the ground rules. It was pretty common sense stuff, play nice, be a gentleman, don't be rough, don't shove appendages into her ass unannounced. You know, stuff you learned in kindergarten. He said that they wanted to keep it fairly anonymous so there won't be much banter or small talk. On the one hand I am kinda disappointed that we were getting straight to it, no ice-breaking or anything like that. I have needs, I need some romancing in my gangbangs. On the other hand I didn't know exactly what we would talk about. "That is quite a penis you have there." "That cock-ring really brings out the color in your eyes." I am experienced in the lifestyle. I don't claim to be a sex god who bangs people constantly but I do alright. I've had my threesomes, foursomes, moresomes, and an orgy here and there... Point is that this isn't exactly new to me. I was not ready. When we reached the door of the room my escort turned to me and told me that four other people had backed out at the last second. It was just him, me, and a good friend of theirs. No pressure. Hey, where did that spotlight come from? So much for escape plan #2. In a voice I imagined to be suave and worldly I say, "Well, some people just get nervous about these things." He grunted and ushered me in. The center of our micro-bang was already blindfolded and sitting quietly in a chair. A toothbrush was thrust at me and I was told to "freshen up". After my teeth got their third brushing in four hours we got down to business. I don't want sound too full of myself when I say I am the greatest giver of lady oral luvins that the world, nay, the universe has ever known. I'm humble about it too. I got down to what I did best while the other guys picked positions. We switch around after a bit, she's having a great time. Finally it's my time to shine! I have good body stamina and a slight difficulty to orgasm so I can keep going forever. Kinda frustrating when, at the end of the night, I'm a sweaty pile who hasn't gotten his but, hey, as long as everyone had a good time then whatever, right? I pull out of the pile of bodies and arm myself with the latest in latex technology. I turn around locked and loaded, ready to go... but someone got there before me. Okay, no problem. This is their party, I'm the stranger here I'll just wait for him to... Oh... Oh dear... No, don't you die on me! Not here! Not now! Yes, dear readers, it happened. The dreaded condom induced ED. And you know what really helps with that? Stressing about it. Yay feedback loops! The large guy noticed my distress and motioned for me to take position at her mouth. Ripping the condom off in disgust I did just that forgetting my well lubricated state which she promptly spat out. So much for being the #1 lube on Amazon... One trip to the bathroom sink later I resume my place. Yep, feels good. One of the better blowjobs I've ever gotten, in fact. Still doesn't help things. After a while of relaxing I breathed some life into my mighty tower of power and go to try again. That is, until the other two guys broke out their cock-sleeves. This elevated them from an already respectable size to Coke and Pringles can level. RIP boner. How do you even compete? At this point it was just live action porn for me so I sat back and enjoyed the show. She took both of them at the same time like a champ. After a dozen or two ear-shattering orgasms they pulled out with an audible -shlorp-. The big guy tells me to get in there before our time is up. I nodded and summoned up all the willpower of my ancestors to get something I could at least hang a condom on and dove right in. This worked for about a minute. I now truly understood what they say about "pushing rope". At that point I cut my losses and moved away. While Godzilla and Rodan resumed their drilling I snuck into my clothes and, with a cheerfulness I certainly did not feel, bid them a good night. So, dear readers, what have we learned? Hell if I know.

My advice: Have nothing further to do with this couple. Block them. Cut off all contact. Do not reply to any messages. Full stop. This is not normal or acceptable behavior in swinging circles, or any circles for that matter.

Your relationship with this other couple is completely off the rails. There are widely accepted protocols in the lifestyle. One, play together as a couple until you are very experienced. We are moderately experienced and we never play without the other partner in the same place. Second, you have to communicate and work together as a team. No separate communicating or texting. If one of you likes one member of a couple and the other one of you do not like the other, that's the end of your couples play. Maybe one of you can get together with the liked one at a house party, but unlikely. Offering money sounds like prostitution. I know you are in Vegas, but you should lose this couple and read this site to learn the "norms" of swinging.

We've had problems like this even though we aren't swingers. - One of her kookier friends started calling me asking for help related to my profession, then started calling for no reason. When Mrs. EastInWest dropped a subtle hint that I'd told her about the favor she'd asked for, she became very awkward and never called me again. - Someone she had previously agreed to have a social glass of wine with in a work context kept trying to follow up on the glass of wine for two years. Once, I walked into a bar to find him hovering over her trying to strike up a conversation. I put my hand on his shoulder, introduced myself, and he literally fled. If you've got any reason to question their intentions, you're probably right. In this case, since she's known to carry on affairs, I think it's pretty cut-and-dry that the people saying it's time to cut her off are entirely correct. If a woman approached me like that and I thought they were acting in good faith, I'd tell tell them to run it by Mrs. EastInWest. If they're not interested in hearing her opinion on it, I'm sure they're not interested in anything I'm interested in. It also sounds like the husband might be a recipe for drama. When his marriage goes "BOOM", you don't want to be caught in the blast radius.