Leaderboard

A couple of months ago after taking several months off from the lifestyle due to some personal issues we decided to head back to a club for some much needed fun. But this time we weren't alone. We had been communicating with a couple we met online several months ago who said they had some experience in the lifestyle. We still consider ourselves rookies. We seem to click with them through texts and the guy was clearly hot for my wife. Hell the wife was hot for my wife as well. We all exchanged nekkid pics and we all enjoyed the fun. We eventually met them at a lifestyle club close to all of us and things between us continued where we left off through text messages. No awkwardness at all. At the club the sexy times flowed and the girls were really into each other all over the dance floor. One thing led to another and we all agreed to play but mostly girl/girl and possibly some soft swap. It would have been our very first time with a couple after a couple of times of soft play with a female friend of ours. But before we could play the couple got into a fight (sudden and for unknown reasons) right in front of us and the sexy mood vanished! After several uncomfortable minutes of this the wife and I decided there was too much drama with them, said our goodbyes and we split to go home to scratch the little lady's massive itch. We haven't been in the lifestyle very long but we are experienced enough to know you don't argue in front of a potential play couple. That is a mood killer no doubt. We have yet to burst out "swinger" cherry (actually playing with another couple) and wifey kept apologizing to me for the other couple's issues. While it is a little frustrating I wasn't expecting to play with them anyway despite the sexual chemistry building over those past few weeks. Despite their theatrics we had fun as the atmosphere at the club was very charged and my wife was into the scene and women (and one lucky guy who had my permission to "dance" with her). She was hot to trot and didn't hold back. Wished the night could have ended better. Oh well, whatchya gonna do?

Dear CB... Welcome. You are approaching a difficult time in your marriage with a calm that is unusual. Quite remarkable on many levels, and bravo. A year ago, we posted some reflections on marriage and swinging. We were not dealing with the stress of cheating, but rather looking back on decades of marriage. The essay is here: Swinging: Consensual non-monogamy within marriage It may help frame thinking--not about the past, but about your future. Kind regards.

luvin eye full - it’s only been about a month and a half since I found out and we are still in the process of working things out. We begin seeing a marriage counselor next week. I think that we are in the very early stages of working on our own relationship, and EXTREMELY early in the discussion of opening up our marriage. The conversations we’ve been having on our own have lead us to the topic of swinging, and from what he’s saying is that the affair began because we got stuck in a rut, the attention from the other woman stroked his ego and it all took off from there. The thing is, I had the same feelings of being unfulfilled but I turned it all inward. So we obviously need to work on communication. When you said not to use this as a cover for problems in our relationship, that sums up exactly what I’m worried about. I think I’m looking for an outside perspective since I can’t really look at my situation objectively. So it’s really good for me to get both positive and negative feedback. I’m honestly surprised at how easily I’ve been able to begin to forgive him (not totally over all of the dishonesty yet but I’m making progress) and that the discussion of threesomes doesn’t do anything but turn me on. That’s what makes me think this is something thay would be a good thing for us to share.

Love, trust, communication. That's all you need. Complete love, trust and communication (easy said...). Step one is to fix this first, then, maybe, after things are repaired you can think about taking the next step, but don't put the cart before the horse. Swinging is a magnifying glass: it will make a great relationship grow even larger, but it will also enlarge any crack or fractures that exist and can easily burn a relationship that isn't rock solid. While it is good to have a goal, rebuild and repair the relationship first and foremost before taking that step towards swinging. It's great that you are willing to try and repair things and even more amazing that you would consider swinging as a partial solution, but it shouldn't be thought of as a solution...it's more like a hobby (and shouldn't ever be more important than a hobby). We wish you both the best of luck and hope that things work out with you both. Let us know how things are going.

Ok with that in mind here are some things that may help The Bad 1st Swinging will never make up for a bad/stuck/stagnate etc.. sex life - on this alone i would say stay away for now. Cheating and all that comes with it - trust etc... - see above Other emotional crap that comes with the above - again sty away from swinging for now. The Good bits He stopped cheating - great Hopefully you have stopped thinking of it as well You are now talking about things that need to be covered - Great work! you are both willing to try again - this is the best news out of every thing. because it implies you still have love for each other. So lets really look at it - you guys were / are in a rut ( lol after 30 odd years of marriage i know something about that too ) So instead on communicating he has a affair and your thinking about it. You go your own ways when you should of come together - i know you know that now. So the communication is the number one fall down here, why because ....( only you guys know why ) for the wife and i it can be that we take each other for granted sometimes - Now we have gone through the ruts we now know to talk it out as some as we / one of us feels that way - Our marriage comes before anything else - even new partners to take our minds of the ho hum of day to day life. For what it's worth i would say to you guys put the swinging on hold for now and rekindle the marriage 1st - because having sex with new partners comes with some new emotions as well and i think it may distract from what your tiring to do now that is rebuild. Take some time just for the two of you - lets face it your not going to lose your killer looks in a year are you? nor will your husband lose his will he? so you can agree to have a go at swinging next year and really put the effort in now to your marriage - you will not be disappointed - in fact it will be the best thing the both of you have done in years i bet. I think you guys will make it and be a stronger and better adjusted couple once you rebuild and then that will lead to great fun in the LS but only if want it. Best of Luck

As a half of an open Bi and Lifestyle Couple, I can say that I used to love MMf and MFM, but also like a horny gal to like my pussy and kiss me along with my hubby, Multiple Cocks is nothing new to me, as I like MMF to gangbangs with my hubby watching. FFF and FMF are also great for us Laura Dave and Laura

I had to look it up, but there could be something to that: https://www.google.com/search?q=MDMA+couple+therapy However, I am inclined to agree with the earlier suggestions of, for the moment, focusing on the marriage more, and swinging less. Start with working on the basics (rock-solid mutual trust and love), and go from there. Y'all can then decide together where you want to go. In the long-run, complete honesty will generally get you a higher level of happiness. Denial can selfishly help an individual, but tends to spoil it for everyone else in close proximity. :-|

All too often, the orgasm is the end of the encounter for the man. Personally, I want the experience to go on as long as possible. It's not a race and finishing isn't the goal here: fulfilling fantasies, pleasuring the woman, creating everlasting memories, THAT'S the goal. I guess it's something that takes a little age to figure out...especially if she is smoking hot. If you make her feel like a million dollars, then you might even get a chance to do a sequel. Keep looking and you'll find what you are looking for. We wish you success in your search.

My wife let a girl go down on her it was so amazing. The other woman was bent over getting fucked by her husband while licking my wofe’s pussy. I was kissing my wife and sucking her tits. It was sooo hot!

My take is couples prefer a extra female. In venues like Craigs List, or on swinger web sites the advertising leans heavily towards a woman for a third. Where they are asking for a man it often means the husband is bi & will be having mm sex.

Thanks for all the replies. I really wish I had prefaced this post with a emoji depicting me with googly eyes doing the crazy sign. This is not a life and death, ultra serious problem. It is more of a... why in the hell am I worried about trivial, inconsequential stuff. I just watched wifey frolick. I can appreciate the thought that a MFM is all about her but I respectfully disagree. I am not gay or bi but dammit hearing him moan from getting his pleasure was pretty awesome too. I dunno, it is not a major issue and certainly not going to stop us. I guess I should have asked: does anyone,even after plenty of experience, get niggly, irrational thoughts about stuff? As for the confidence boosters telling me she will not leave for another... that is a non issue for us. None of those kind of thoughts exist. That is why I am so perplexed. Anyhow, thanks to all and I am sure we will be regular contributors as our adventures evolve.

When reading your original post, we thought the same thing that you thought: the two girls were playing and the other couple wanted to keep the guys to their own women. Are you in the wrong: no, not in our opinion. Did they overreact: yep! Either of them could have easily (and politely) asked for you to stop now and this most likely wouldn't have been an issue at all. This is why people who have been in the L/S for awhile shy away from 'noobies'...too much chance of drama (not the two of you but the other couple). Don't take it personal, just move ahead. Maybe in the future you MAY (but we don't feel it necessary) ask to clarify things in the future. You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry about it.

If you cannot be completely honest with your partner (without the help of drugs or alcohol) then you are not ready. Improved communication will lead to greater trust which increases the love...its a vicious upward spiral that only leads to a better relationship.

I agree 100%! When couples hear single male swinger, they assume certain things about him. Until proven otherwise of course. Same thing when I hear non-married swingeing couple. I will make assumptions of my own until proven otherwise. You and your fiance are why once again we learn not to judge people. We do though...lol

You pay your money at the door and you takes your chances...

Stuff happens. Your couple functioned well. Move forward and try again.

Just a thought - why did the affair start? have you fixed those things 1st? How long has it been and have you both reconciled your feelings about it? It's great you guys can start again or i should say restart what is all ready there in your harts. But do not use swing as a cover for the things that still need working on, hmm If your back in the grove with each other and now think hey lets do this to have some fun - then let it be for that reason and only for that reason - make sure you guys have looked at everything else in your relationship 1st. And lastly have a agreement that what ever happens in this new venture stays there - so it does not effect your rebuilding of your marriage. Best of luck to the both of you.

We get what happened and some times it can go a little side ways - they probably think your the worst in the world lol but really it was not that clear either given what was happening, so.... Next time just say do you mean no for both of us? or just your BF? in this kind of situation then everyone is clear, most people that have had a bit more experience would of made it clear with out the drama. Chalk it up as a learning curve. Best of luck to you both for next time.

Well we are engaged and 4 years into our relationship, they were just dating and were 8months into their relationship I believe they said. For us this s something we've been discussing for a while now. No clue about the other couple. But Jay and I know we're going the distance and that trust and honesty we have is shown. I don't think people need to be married to swing but I think having a strong relationship is the block you need to stand on.

I’ll be honest, I was bracing myself for some negative feedback so I’m really glad to see so much support! In talking together so far it seems as if the affair did stem from him wanting/needing to feel something “forbidden” and feeling as though I wouldn’t be into it (a fair enough assumption considering he has brought up scenarios in the past during sex and I have always been shy about it). Sun&Moon - thank you for your honest thoughts. I truthfully would never have thought of any of those details and as much as I want to be optimistic I’m grateful you brought them up. Overall though, this has made me feel so much better about the direction we are heading. So, on that note, any advice on how to start off slowly? We both are really into the F/F/M scenario it seems. I was thinking maybe a date night to a nice strip club where I could get a lap dance and see how things go? I have literally never even kissed another woman so I don’t know how far I’ll be comfortable with going right away.

I have NEVER been to the clubs, but I am going to jump in anyway. you were both new. I can see where you could misunderstand her statement and believe she was just uncomfortable with your guy. In the future, I think it would be ok to clarify a statement like that. This is one reason however, that I do not find any interest in going to the clubs. regardless, I have had some pretty crazy experiences anyway. I have been on the trouble causing side a few times too and have figured out, it's better to learn something from each experience and move forward with the new knowledge. In this case, to clarify unclear intentions. should you try again?? well, were you enjoying the experience before this uptight couple ruined it? if you went to the bar and an obnoxious person hit on you repeatedly,then a woman came along and told you to back off her man, would you go back to that bar? most likely you would think "what a crazy pair" and you would not hold it against the bar, but would just move on wondering what was wrong with them... you should look at this the same way. they were also new and she miss communicated with you. you should absolutely try again. Don't let one bad apple spoil it for you. If it had been me, I would have probably started crying and ruined everything good that could come of the night, but I would still want to go back another night.

I suppose it would depend on how well you know the host-couple, Fundamental Law. In any case, Laura and I would have been excited to meet this couple. They swing the way we did, and the post shows an articulate person who has a mind worth exploring. Bodies? Well, we'd probably get around to that.

I have had some physical health issues that have been a real challenge, so I can relate to your experience there. I was rapidly loosing mobility in the mid 1990's due to a debilitating joint disorder. I had crummy insurance at the time, and only through my own perseverance (I swim) was I able to get back to an almost normal life. It still takes a lot of maintenance. Hopefully there is/has-been some good Physical Therapy for you, as a result of your accident. Good medical PT is essential for physical trauma recovery. With the number of hours you are working, you have an extra challenge before you. Hopefully in your partnership she is covering everything else (food, cleaning, etc.). That may allow you the hours you work, plus the time to rebuild your body. i.e. Eat well and go to the gym (as mentioned above), but do so with some care and guidance. As for how she is treating you in your physical relationship, I agree with the suggestion of getting some counseling & therapy, both together and apart. I agree also with the suggestion of finding other fun stuff to do together, to help reconnect. Even if is just working out together. I sense that y'all are a good match. I know for sure it is rare that both parts of a couple are comfortable with non-monogamy. I suspect that if you can work together, you will be able to recover enough from your injury to have a (relatively?) "normal" life again, and that the long-term rewards as a result of that work will be plentiful. Be Well... Have Fun! :-)

Completely disagree. In particular, I disagree with the "You don't want to lose a good fuck" aspect. It seems this would be the epitome of selfishness, in that it is thinking about one's own pleasure at the expense of a partner's anguish (maybe anguish is too strong a word, maybe not). For us, and the majority of couples we know, if both aren't into it, we both aren't into it. Period. T

Denmark? Is that even a real country?

First of all, and it's a small difference, is it's a MFM (MMF means that you are also playing with the guy). Second, why are you playing with other guys that have no experience? When you are trying to figure out if you like something or not, it is always a good idea to involve others that already know the game you want to play. Third, cuckold involves you being humiliated. It doesn't sound like that is happening so don't worry about that. Finally, as suggested above by njbm, how about finding another couple? This way you have something to keep you 'occupied' while your wife is enjoying herself? Let us know how things go for you both.

When my wife let a girl go down on her, after saying it would never happen.

Maybe this isn't a good hobby for you two.

I do, as a male, want to know what my female partner wants. Oral or manual stimulation is sometimes more effective than intercourse. I discuss it with my partner. I ask what would you like me to do? If you with men who are just getting themselves off and they are not giving partners, they are not the people who you want.

Swing is exciting! Prolonged foreplay can be a factor, so can how often the fellow is getting sex at home. Expectations are important. Is it possible to communicate to friends that she needs a longer encounter to really enjoy herself?

Being a dominant female having a husband/slave who enjoys anal stimulation and strap on sex it was a no-brainer to find a skilled guy with a big cock that enjoyed fucking a guy. I love coordinating all the action telling the boys what to do and how to fuck. I only allow my slave to suck cock and take it in the ass and if his top desires my pussy he has to shower me with gifts or get nothing at all. I enjoy lesbian sex but prefer to be in bed with my girlfriend alone without distractions. Screwing my husband with a dildo was a lot of work so I decided it would be easier to find a Hung guy and take over for me. I love watching my husband squirming and squealing when he takes it in the ass. We finally found an exclusive male partner so that we can bareback without the worry of STDs. My favorite is sucking my husband off first giving him a French kiss feeding him all of his come and then making him bend over and take a hard fucking from our buddy.

I love sucking dick especially with a woman. Rubbing dicks together is especially intimate. Once I had a female friend take me to gay bar. I was kissed buy a man. It was the first time it made me feel strange. The way he handle me made me feel feminine. It was the wildest thing I've ever known. Laying on my back and being fucked up the ass was a whole nother experience. Women never tell you how powerful a penises is. Feeling feminine is very addictive. I don't want to be feminine but it felt strong and I liked it but I'm not a feminine guy. I never felt feminine doing anything else with a guy even going down in front of them.

So, given that, many (most?) cases of HPV are asymptomatic (show no symptoms), men aren't (cannot) be tested, women are often only tested if they have an abnormal cells in their pap test, and the infection is very common. The question becomes, what is the difference between someone who volunteers the info, vs someone who doesn't (to deceive), or doesn't because they don't know (the latter being the most likely case)? I completely understand the ick factor of knowing someone has an infection, but at the same time, it kinda feels like rejecting someone who voluntarily disclosed would be punishing the wrong person in this scenario. I don't have an answer, and I'm not trying to shame, it just feels like a weirdly complicated ethical dilemma. D

My first ever mfm the woman and I did a 69 while her husband fucked her from behind. We almost had to peel her off the ceiling. Just a thought.

It didn't do much for me but my husband said it was amazing being the middle (he also tried at the end). We also used a pillow underneath my hips which help with the positioning. The hardest part was the thrusting. If you don't get in the right rhythm, it's easy to slip out of the middle guy. It was easier with only the middle guy moving back and forth while everyone staying put. I would suggest trying this first before thrusting in unison, which takes a few tries. Good luck!

We've done it several times but I've never been the guy in the middle. A few years ago we were seeing 2 guys that both liked anal so it seemed to be a natural thing to do. We only used one position. My wife and the guy would start missionary (it helps to have a pillow under her butt). I would come in from behind. It isn't the easiest position. One has to be mindful of any weight he is adding to the stack. I found it to the be a balancing act to some extent. Both guys admitted that it was the most amazing sexual feeling they had ever experienced. J actually loved it as well. As I pushed into him, he would be pushed into her, she said it was like I was fucking her with his big dick. I say go for it! I've seen porn where everyone is on their side. We just aren't built for that position, even with just the 2 of us.