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One cannot help recalling the complaint voiced by Madeline Kahn as Lili von Shtupp in the movie “Blazing Saddles”. ... “I’ve been with thousands of men...again and again ... and they’re always coming and going and going and coming...and always too soon!” In the quest for total orgasmic control, we have achieved ... overcontrol.

It’s a truism in the LS that the women commonly out-dress the men. There are some excellent basic posts here that have stood the test of time, but, a couple of additional points. If it’s a theme night, and the gentleman takes the time to join his lady dressing in theme, others notice. Couples that are thoughtful and creative enough to dress in theme together have already shown the world that they are in sync with each other and support each other. Yes, if it’s a theme night, we’ll work to complement—and compliment—each other. If we’re just “dressing to impress”, textures, fabrics, and layers matter. It’s not just how they drape. It’s that a potential playmate is going to feel what you are wearing. Whether it’s a hug, a touch on the arm or thigh, or those initial moments of intimacy as the clothes come off, clothes will be seen and felt. Not only do gauze, silk, cashmere, and leather look different—they feel different. Ladies notice these things. Any gentleman who has accompanied his lady while shopping for clothes knows just how much she responds to how fabrics feel. Invite your lady to pick out your outfit to complement hers. Better yet, invite her to shop together. She know what looks good on you as well as—and likely better—than you do. Putting the outfits together with her is an expression of affection. It’s important to her that she have a “sharp-dressed man” on her arm. After all, you’re the one she’s going home with at the end of the evening.

I wish I resembled that remark. I do know every line in the script—as does Mrs. FL—and alas we saw it first run in the movies. At least we saw it together! Blazing Saddles was so politically incorrect that it could not be made today. The demonstrations would be widespread. The internet would erupt with indignancy. Interest groups would bemoan the caricatures. And Mel Brooks would have been run out of town on a rail. If there is anyone—anyone!- on this board who has never seen “Blazing Saddles”, for heavens sake go rent it and watch it with someone you love. But do not drink anything that might stain furniture or carpeting. You’ll be laughing so hard it will spray everywhere!

There is never an excuse or reason for cheating. There are excuses that one will give. To shift the blame is wrong. I am saying this from the one who has cheated. I owned up to it. I felt guilty. The best part is my husband excepted my apology and this was before we were married. My cheating is different than your husband. I/we were not swingers, I ended up in a bed with a college friend and a guy she was with. It was my first time with a female. It's a long story but in the end my mistake was forgiven and it even made our relationship stronger. I have figured that his forgiveness is a major part of why we love each other.

Oh, almost forgot. My parents took me and my sister to see Blazing Saddles when we were on vacation (when it was out in the theaters). They didn't know what it was about other than a western comedy. Lets just say they didn't enjoy the movie as much as I did. Saw the movie on TV a few weeks ago...let's jsut say that there was a bunch of the dialogue that was bleeped out. Rent or stream the unedited version if you are going to watch it. Mongo only a pawn in the game of life... Does anybody got a dime? Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes! Hey there, handsome. Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show? My name's Jim, but most people call me - Jim...I used to be known as the Waco Kid. Candygram for Mongo. Candygram for Mongo. Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving. I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists! Bart: [in a gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar and pressing the muzzle of his gun against his own neck] Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the nigger gets it. Dr. Johnson: Hold it men, he's not bluffing! [all but Howard Johnson drop their guns] Dr. Samuel Johnson: Listen to him, men; he's just crazy enough to do it! Bart: [still gruffly, to Howard] Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this nigger's head ALL OVER THIS TOWN! [minstrel voice] Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he SAY...! [Howard slowly drops the gun] [bart slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage] Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed! Bart: [minstrel voice] Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! [gruffly] Shut up! [covers his own mouth, pushes himself into the office] Oh, baby, you are so talented--and they are so dumb! Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em! Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6?" I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one... Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whoppin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the womenfolks, of course. Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women? Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on!

Some people just aren't 'wired' for this.Either because of religious upbringing, imposed morals, personal beliefs, or whatever, they just can't 'do' this. It's cheating, they are a slut or sexual deviant, you are a sexual deviant, it 'isn't right', (and in the case of swinging with other couples) you just want to sleep with other people, you are looking for an exit plan, you don't love her, whatever. It doesn't even matter what they might think, it's how they feel and nothing will change that. Square peg, round hole...it just is never going to fit. One of the very first steps needs to be working on your trust and communication with her. As the trust and communication increases, ask her about her fantasies. Then ask her if she ever wanted these fantasies to become real. It will take along time (if you do it right) and even then, she may or may not be interested. If she says she isn't, then just let it go. Your relationship should always come first, especially before something that you may want and she may not. Many women fantasize about things that they never want to become real, but it's still fun to imagine them (and imagination is always a perfect scenario with no awkward moments). Just because you THINK she may want to do something...why don't you try talking to her instead? But if the answer is no, do not push it because you have convinced yourself otherwise.

Sun&Moon display what is probably a fairly popular response to the mfm or swing idea. The idea appeals to the woman during sex, and the fantasy makes her super hot. The actual act with a 3rd person or swap can bring out some amazing sexiness. But the brain is great at torturing us. Women in particular seem to be more influenced by feelings and perceptions. If they feel like a slut or threatened, even socially or religiously, it can have a negative effect. I don't think men are very good at understanding a woman's feelings toward sex. To the guy, it's just another dick, another way to have fun. To the woman, they are putting everything they are out there. The risk is way higher in several ways. I must have read a hundred posts about guys trying to get their wife interested in some group sex. Sometimes it works, sometimes it works for awhile. Usually it doesn't work. I feel that pushing it can have the desired immediate effect but cause long term damage. Remember, your wife want's to please you. Sometimes she will go along with ideas she is not on board with to please. Be careful.

I have to admit, this has actually happened to me a couple of times. Once with another wife and once in a MMF with my wife. The other wife we fucked until she came, her on top, and then she gets off. I'm thinking we are just taking a break. Fuck no, her hubby had come in my wife and she had cum so they were done. LOL In the threesome, well let's just say both of the guys had no trouble getting hard, but no matter how hard we went at it there just wasn't any cumming. Finally after about 4 hours of continuous play, he and I finally just jacked ourselves off onto her. We were all dying!!! LOL She was wore out and so were we. I believe you would rather have a guy with difficulty cumming than one that came too quick or couldn't get hard at all.

This. It's not unusual for me not to come, and it's for the reason above...I'm so concentrated on pleasing her as long as she wants to be pleased by not coming too soon that in the end I don't at all. Doesn't mean I didn't have a really good time

Self image is not always the way others see you. We have met people who at first glance were not our type but turned to great people. If you ever go to a club or party you will see all types of bodies, unless you go to a pretty couple party. My suggestion is not to hide who or what you are. You or she might not be everyone's cup of tea. So what. Not everyone wants the stud or the rail. I am sure you love the way she is. Others will too. Most importantly is not to shame her or push her. Encourage her.

When me and my wife were chatting about the no kissing rule I said to her "I don't have a massive cock, I don't have a ripped body, one of the things I'm good at is kissing , by ruling out kissing you are actually crippling my chances of getting anywhere in this lifestyle" she said ok then go for it haha

Coda--how it all worked out. The host couple brought four more couples together in their home as a private meet-and-greet. They put a great deal of thought and effort into the prep and the invited couples. While the evening was vanilla (in the sense that everyone kept their clothes on and stayed by their partner), the talk was most definitely lifestyle. There was indeed a "go-around the room" to talk about their first experience in the LS. A tour of the hosts (extensive!) sex toy collection. As noted earlier, when everyone at the party is known to be in the LS, people “let their hair down” and just savor the moment. We thought the private setting allowed for the development of rich erotic conversation and chemistry. Will there be a second gathering? That's up to the hosts, of course. We hope so.

A good friend's wife was sharing a female friend of theirs. His wife is bi. The female friend, out of the blue, asked my friend if he ever thought of sucking a dick. He never had at that point. He thought for a moment and then told her he'd sure give it a try. A while later he and his wife met a couple that played with. That couple ended up divorced but my friend and his wife continued playing with the husband. That was my friend's first time with a man. His wife loved watching and he found he enjoyed it very much too.

I agree. Kissing is a huge part of playing and sex. At first I felt there should be no kissing but as my wife explained to me she loves to kiss and lick and if I told her no kissing it would take away a lot of enjoyment of swimging. The more I thought about it the more I agreed. Like she said to me, “you are okay if I suck a strangers dick and swallow but I can not kiss him!” I had the lightbulb moment. I love to kiss as well!

Having had a swinging relationship for 10 years before my wife passed away I spent 5 years single. I had no problem finding females to attend swing parties with me. But I am smarter than the average bear in this department. I would love to start a site that could teach single males to develop a plan that doesn't always include internet connections to establish relationships with women to swing with. I wish someone like Julie would help me do this. I could guarantee that just about any single guy out there could find a gal to swing with within weeks if they use basic common sense and develop the instinct of knowing which women to approach on this subject. If Julie or anyone would like to help me do this I would in a heartbeat.