Leaderboard

When we first meet (for us it's usually dinner or drinks and goodbye...gives everyone a chance to talk about the meeting and decide if it is a good fit), we make it a point to bring up the topic of sex (you would be surprised how many couples that we've met that were uncomfortable to talk about sex). Any past experiences, limits and rules, preferences, expectations, etc. That way if there is a second meeting, everyone already knows what is and isn't on the table. The second meeting, the 'hurtle' is getting started. This is where the hot tub comes into play. We have a sign on the deck that says: Pool and hot tub -> Suits optional. We give them the option. If it isn't a home game, we try to (at some point) steer the conversation towards sex again and see where that goes. We also are quick to remind them that nothing will happen that they don't want to have happen. History has taught us that noobies are expecting the 'more experienced' couple to take the lead, but to do so in a way where they feel respected and 'safe'. Trust is key so take them to the door and let them know that they control what does or does not happen from that point.

I'm going to call it a successful failure; a failure in that we did not go to the club. It was a successful failure in that I used what I'd learned on this site to make the decision that we weren't ready to go. We never did quite have "the talk" prior to going out and I decided our communication needs to improve before we put ourselves in that situation. Newbies are one thing, newbies who haven't communicated clearly before going to the club are a disaster waiting to happen. A disaster that would likely put a damper on others' evenings too. I'm certain that in our case a first club experience that was a bad experience would also be our last experience at the club. Better to wait until we're ready, if ever, than set ourselves up for a bad situation out of impatience and slam the door on this notion forever.

Why would any man suck a cock without a woman? To each their own. If you have never sucked one then you will not understand the need. I prefer women but I like to join them in sucking. I posted this in the bisexual section of a swinger site. Am I missing something?

One more thought, because we too have been ignored after sending our stats. This is a totally different arena than any other, age, weight, breast size, etc. shouldn't come into play. I realize that not everyone will be attracted, but charisma and chemistry go much farther than looks in my book. Those that turn others down because of age or weight may have just turned down the best time they'd ever have! One of the last couples we met with, when I asked him what he did, he said he was in Law Enforcement, this did make me turn my head like the chick in the Exorcist since I was using a vape pen that did not have tobacco in it! Glad he didn't arrest me! The groups you work with, that you have day to day experiences with, the ones that match your "class" or whatever you want to call it, may not be the groups you play with. You may fall into a group that is totally different, tattoo's, piercings, bikers, whatever, but they may be the best play partners you could ask for. This lifestyle isn't for the narrow minded!

My wife had breast cancer surgery about 10 or 11 years ago and that left her affected breast very deformed. She was very self conscious and most recently chose to have both breast surgically balanced. The surgeon was excellent (25+ years experience); she is almost completely healed and looks wonderful. The surgery did NOT include any foreign material inserted and both breast feel very natural. I am so happy for her and proud that she took this step to improve her self image.

GoldCoCouple is totally correct. Anal is not a given, nor is anything else for that matter, but anal is extra high on that list because 1) some just don't like it doesn't matter who is involved, 2) and some of those that do like it prefer not to make that part of their swinging repertoire because of the level of trust involved, keeping it something "special", etc. I'm sure there are some women that like it and do make it part of their swinging but that is always 100% their choice to make and no one will assume anything on that subject other than if she is interested in that she will let you know.

10-12 couples in 7 months???? can you give us some tips lol

Well, we're going to try a house party. We did a few years ago and it was an epic fail. Hopefully we have enough knowledge and excuse the pun "balls" to have a really good time! Cross your fingers!

Read the forums and search (search is your friend) for 'rules'. There's plenty of threads talking about setting rules and boundaries.

PebblesCanDo...thanks for the thumbs up to the 60 somethings! I am 63. Recently a member messaged us to share information and perhaps get together. I sent them some basic information, including age, and never heard from them again. Oh well, their loss! My wife and I often go at it for 4 or 5 hours. She claims that no other man she's ever been has eaten her pussy and got her off over again the way I can.

Soooo yesterday was a totally unplanned day that ended up with us bringing home, in the middle of the afternoon, a lovely couple from Colorado, they were in their late 50'2, early 60's. We met, had a coke, came home, talked for half hour and got naked in the RV and had a blast! At first I thought OMG, 60! Yippee... Then, after it was all said and done, I said "you've totally transformed my profiling of the 60 year old man!" Amazing! Then, a surprised had been planned by my hubby.....a 27 year old BBC! We had no problems getting the ball rolling yesterday!I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine or dream all of this soreness up!

Hi There. Thought I would chime in here. I have been in your wife's shoes and know all too well the excitement she is feeling. Sometimes the fantasy is all one needs to have a good time and be sexually aroused. From my perspective the reason I would become so aroused was the idea my partner was right there with me watching and participating exactly how I wanted him to. The actual experience will be different from her fantasy because the other man will throw in a whole different dynamic which unknown to your wife. We all know that the fantasy can sometimes be better than the actual experience because in our fantasies we get to control just exactly how things play out right down to what the other people say and do. After all is said and done, I think it is a very good sign that she is talking and fantasizing. Please take your time it will happen if it is meant to. Continue doing what you are doing but do not pressure her, just communicate and let her take the lead. I finally had a MFM and it was truthfully the most wonderful experience ever.

Well, three out of five of the responses the OP listed are positive ones, one could go either way depending, and only one was clearly negative. Read through the threads here and that's consistent...some women are really turned on by it, some are in the middle somewhere, and some are turned off by it. The vast majority of society doesn't understand swingers either but that hasn't stopped any of us from doing it. Although I'm not into it myself, I feel the same way about this subject as I do that one - don't want to swing, then don't. Don't want to suck cock, then don't. But for those that do, they're grown adults able to make their own decisions, so more power to them if that's what they like.

Mrs Doc seldom wears underwear when we go out on a "date", Usually an easy access dress, sundress or skirt/top and maybe (if its a chilly evening in SWFL) a thong. If we go back our place or their's and things seem to falter a bit, she'll approach the other guy, drop her dress or pull off her top and say, "lets get this party started". She has, on occasion, done the same to the other woman saying, "I think the guys would like us BOTH naked". It's never failed us!

I know, it's a little daunting, but . . . Our eventual solution was pretty simple. One of us got the partner of the other sex close and said, "Hey, I really think you're sexy. Would you like to?" She/he would either say to me/her, "Sure!" -or- they'd say to their SO, "You wanna?" Usually, within a few minutes we were all making out. Every great once in awhile, the person that got the question would skitter off. In that case, we knew they weren't really interested in going further that night. Either way, it was cool, and we'd gotten them off the dime.

It won't be easy, Nakedal, but your wife needs to address early Christian history. Jesus never taught that sex was sin. That came along with Saul of Tarsus, who never met Jesus and is considered my many historians to have been a charlatan and a misogynist. Constantine, when he ordered the bible to be written, included Saul's epistles to assuage Romans who didn't want too big of a culture change with the new religion. Tell her "knowledge is power" and let her mind soar from there. Beyond the sin-issue lies Freedom.

Coda--how it all worked out. The host couple brought four more couples together in their home as a private meet-and-greet. They put a great deal of thought and effort into the prep and the invited couples. While the evening was vanilla (in the sense that everyone kept their clothes on and stayed by their partner), the talk was most definitely lifestyle. There was indeed a "go-around the room" to talk about their first experience in the LS. A tour of the hosts (extensive!) sex toy collection. As noted earlier, when everyone at the party is known to be in the LS, people “let their hair down” and just savor the moment. We thought the private setting allowed for the development of rich erotic conversation and chemistry. Will there be a second gathering? That's up to the hosts, of course. We hope so.

It sounds like the other couple wasn't sure about what they wanted but in any case weren't on the same page as you. This sounds typical of newbies but everyone was a newbie at some time. How long does it take? I would say as long as you are willing to wait before moving on. We look for people who are willing to play on the first meeting if all agree. We've found that if we don't play that day we will usually never play at all. How well do you want to know them? For us it's as soon as they are naked. We're not looking for a dating relationship. If we become friends afterwards that's great but our purpose in meeting is for sex. Of course I am not speaking for anyone else here. If you require more of a relationship there isn't anything wrong with that, it's just not what we got into the lifestyle for. With enough time you will become more confident about what you want and don't want and will only put time and effort into those contacts that you think will work for you.

It's really hard to tell what the heck happened in this situation. Reading it, I felt like maybe the other couple was not fully aware of your expectations. They acted like friends on a holiday, not swingers. There is the possibility that once the event was unfolding, the other couple was not as ready as you guys to jump in the deep end. Nerves can get pretty intense in times like this. The husband's rambling may have been a sign of that. I know it feels more comfortable going into this with other couples that share your experience level, but if getting things going is a problem, maybe a more experienced couple would be good for you guys. Getting things rolling becomes easier with experience. Can you tell us about the time before the trip? Did it seem like everyone was on the same page?

Holy shit!!!! (I just couldn't help myself). Apparently, neither could she. If she has a loose sphincter she obviously should not be engaging in anal in someone else's home. On the other hand, she may have some kind of weird fetish. I once arrested a burglar whose MO was that he'd crap on the floor of every house he ever broke into. Either way, loose back door or fetish, that couple should NEVER get invited back and frankly, I'd tell all of your friends as well. Your outrage is justified and I see no reason for you not to confront them on the next occasion you're all in the club. Its a shitty thing for her/them to do (there I go again…!!. Once is an accident, twice is just not giving a shit! Oh wait, that isn't right either. (OMG, I can't stop!!) Neither could she. Shit!!! You get my point right???

I don't understand the kiss thing and why people are against it. To me kissing is so much a part of any sex I have. If I am going to be intimate with someone I want the kissing and foreplay that goes with the act. I don't how I would react if the only kiss I got was a thank you kiss. Why is kissing too intimate but oral sex isn't?

This would have been your second woman to have sex with. This was going to take place in a swinging situation with new emotions and unknown expectations. A situation where most men worry about coming too soon, here we are, flaccid. I know when it happened to me, (the first time in high school) I was astounded. I was always hard, but here I was, looking at a hot, naked, willing woman, flaccid. Then again in my first 3way. Don't give up on these guys. Go on a couple non-sexual 'dates' and get to know them a little better. Once you are really comfortable with them, the rest of you will cooperate.

IMPROVISE, OVERCOME, and ADAPT I sure as hell hope you were not planning on getting your dick hard and just sticking it in the other wife and going to town. Foreplay buddy, foreplay. Lead with your tongue. I wouldn't be surprised if after about 10 minutes of giving her the best you got you probably won't notice it at first because you have been busy, but your cock will have gotten hard. I have never been in a swinging situation (there haven't been that many) where I didn't start out by licking well before the fucking started. This is true whether little head is working or not. Not being able to get hard would NOT be a game stopper for me. I do hope you are also giving your girlfriend that same treatment even when you are alone with her. If not, learn.

It happened to me the first time with another couple too. Don't worry about it too much or you'll make it worse. It's also pretty shitty that the couple won't give you a second chance.

I'm always amazed when somebody describes an experience that seems so consistent with our own. Very well described. We had initially met up with our friends in the pool for our first soft play night as a couple, and her first time touching another man in almost ten years. She had to literally get out of the pool and collect herself for a minute when she touched his cock for the first time. Then she was on board and ended up topless between his legs on a pool lounger, same wide-eyed "I'm really doing this" expression. As first she was just touching it, but then he pushed her hair back and she wrapped her lips around it. Every muscle in my body tensed up for the duration. When he came, she missed the last spurt. When she stood up she looked like she was lost in a strange town and wandered around for a moment before we had to break the news that the she had her friend's husband's cum all over her chin. Our first full swap was with that couple the following evening.

Oh my goodness I want to be right there when and if it ever happens. I do not want to miss a single minute of anything my husband does sexually.

I was present when hubby had his first bi experience. My role was to watch only; that was his request and I was happy for him to set the tone for that play meet because I wanted him to be happy with what he was doing. We talked about it at great lengths, about what he wanted to try, who he wanted to have his experience with, what I was to and what I wasn't to do, even how we would feel if either of us did not like the experience or even if we did. To my surprise, I loved every minute of watching him play with another man right in front of me. I was pleasantly surprised by how aroused it made me and I was proud that he handled it so well. Afterwards on the drive home we joked about how he could finally appreciate what I enjoy about going down on a guy....:-) I have since seen him play with another guy in front of me. It was a MMF, but at times they played together right in front of me and I was not always involved. It was hot to say the least. And personally, I can't wait to play like that again if and when the time arises. :-)

I agree with previous posts - I had been straight as an arrow all my life. I then began playing with couples - the second one I played with the hubby was bi. As we did our threesome he went down on me first and then later on in the evening I returned the favor! It was all new to me - but I have to say that feel of his cock was great - so hard yet so velvety -and the taste was just great. When he came in my mouth I was a bit apprehensive but his wife and I shared it - I have been hooked on cocksucking ever since especially during MMF!

We evolve, we change, we adapt, we grow. Go with the flow, don't force it, when the situation presents itself & it feels right... When you get to the stage when labels no longer matter.... I mean at high school age the attitude is "you suck cock, you gay". Now it's who cares, life is too short for regrets, let's all just chill out, have fun and ball each other! I have a bad habit of overthinking things. I have kissed a guy, and he gave me head. Afterwards I agonized over whether I should have reciprocated, should I be searching out these experiences... being trolled by my own brain!! What I REALLY like about loosening my sexual orientation and becoming more bi is that it makes everything so much more relaxed. If the guy makes a move on me I'm not going to freak out, I'll either go with it, or if the mood's not right I think I'll be comfortable enough to handle it right. And the days of "OMG a I touched a man's pee-pee! I must be a homo! quick get the bleach!" are happily long behind me.

The first time I tasted a cock I was amazed at how different it felt than I imagined it would. It was fun, interesting, but most of all, it was powerfully sexual. Male sexual. There was the same pleasure giving sexual, just as when you go down on a woman and she has an orgasm, the same feeling of the pleasure of giving pleasure. Yet different in that it was familiar. I knew exactly what it felt like to have my cock sucked, and now I was sucking one. Perhaps because of that I was more in tune with what it was feeling to him. The simple feel of it was amazing, hard yet velvety soft, pulsating, a hard, throbbing energy rather than the softer, wetter feeling of a woman. Tasting my first male orgasm was as amazing. I could feel the same spurts I've ejaculated into mouths ejaculating into my mouth. The sexual energy is intense. I found it far more sexual than I imagined. I don't find men attractive in the all encompassing way I find women. But oral sex with a man, especially in a three or foursome, is very powerful sexually. The women in my experience simply love watching and being a part of it. I can't imagine going through life without experiencing this.