Leaderboard

Challenge yourself to say hi to at least 4-5 other couples. Everyone there is there to meet other couples so saying hi is perfectly acceptable. You can always add other comments to the end of the 'hi'...Is this your first house party? How long have you been doing this? You look great! Come here often? Nice tits! Just about anything you say after the hi will put the ball into their court and usually get them to start talking and you only have to listen. Don't be a wall flower (easier said than done). Everyone is there for the same reason you are, to meet other couples, so just do it. There's almost never a wrong thing to say as an introduction, and if there isn't a connection, you can just say: well it was great meeting you and move on to the next couple. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. While it is hard when you are shy and quiet, just say hi and see where it goes. By the way: Hi!

Ah the jealousy thing, it's a weird one. When I first met my wife I would get insanely jealous if she just talked to a guy for too long, I knew I was out of order and I'd fight to keep my feelings hidden but sometimes you just can't control how you feel. She wasn't even the type of girl to overly flirt or do things on purpose to piss me off, (I'd had a few girlfriends like that in the past, maybe one reason why I got jealous) Fast forward to the first time I saw her playing with another guy and I honestly had no feelings of jealousy at all, and yes it surprised me, I was expecting some pangs or whatever but the only thing I remember thinking was how much I wanted her to enjoy it, as it turned out she didn't actually enjoy it all that much which was a shame and another story Haha. Like you two we have been together a long time and monogamous for all that time, I guess the trust and love and respect between us has grown a lot since those early days, I suppose to each other we feel irreplaceable so we're not especially worried about someone being better, like when you go to the theme park and ride the rollercoaster you have a great time but you're doing it together, if she was going to the theme park on her own I might get jealous though lol

My wife an I started with about 5 visits to a local club before we were invited to a house party. And this was probably for the best. Generally agree with everything said so far. Clubs are much noisier and harder to really get to know someone, make sure you schedule your visit on a night that is going to be fairly busy. For instance, our local club has SLS nights on the 3rd Saturday of the month. It is packed on those nights, other nights it is a real crap shoot. I personally much prefer house parties now. You rally can get to know someone first if that is what you are interested in (not everyone is). House parties are generally more laid back. Like a regular back yard barbque until later in the night and then only in the play areas.

@ Erik13. That could go either way. Mrs Doc and I were at Trapeze in FLL one night in a curtained bed area. Mrs Doc was giving me a leisurely bj when I felt a hand on my foot and calf. I opened my eyes to see a woman had pulled the curtain aside and had reached in to touch me. I swear, all I did was smile at her. She dropped her towel (very nice body) and crawled up beside. The only words she said were, "may I"? to my wife who nodded yes. The lady then proceeded to blow me to completion and swallowed. She patted my thigh, picked up her towel and walked away. That had never happened before and hasn't since but what a memory and NOT an erection killer.

We had a night out at a club recently, it was a pretty expensive night , about £200 with entry and accommodation etc, so I figured we had to make the effort and talk to people, in the past we would usually just hang around the bar until someone approached us, there were a lot of younger couples at this club and we knew we couldn't just sit back and wait for someone else to do all the work, we approached 5 couples throughout the night, we found that a comment from my wife about the other lady's dress or shoes was usually enough to get the conversation rolling, if they are couples you haven't spoken to before then usually all the usual questions like "how did you start?" , "how long have you been together?" Etc will be enough to fill 10-15 minutes of conversation and that's usually enough to determine if there's any spark. We didn't feel much of a spark with any of the couples we approached but we still had a good laugh with them and ended up having a great night, it never got awkward or anything, remember that a chat is just a chat, if it starts to become something more then cross that bridge when you come to it, don't go into a conversation worrying that the other couple are on to you and know that you're only after one thing lol, sounds silly but that's how we used to approach conversations and it's hard to focus on small talk when you're looking too far down the line

Wow. I hope you told whoever was doing that to get lost.

You might surprise yourself. In vanilla setting my wife never will initiate talking or make small talk with strangers in hardly any circumstance. However in the ls she's mingling, flirting, sucking dick! Lol I'm about the same but I try harder in the ls to just be extra charming. If you have a hard time starting conversations I would suggest work on your body language to at least look like you're having fun, like not crossing your arms and not smiling etc. Try to move around so you're not standing in the same place.

Around our part of the country both are fun. I prefer house parties because it's usually not deafening loud so you can mingle and actually hear what people are saying. Clubs are fun too but usually noisy with the music but you can dance. If you decide to play on site at a club there's usually less privacy if the place is packed. I (Mr) usually can't perform at a club because it's so distracting and people are pulling curtains back when they aren't supposed to and talking just outside them. Last time I had someone touching my feet and ass from outside the curtain. Talk about a hard on killer.

You are NOT WEAK. Anger is an expected emotion, but you are not weak. Why lie to your friends? Tell them what happened, that he was cheating on you. Just because they are swingers, doesn't make them any less friends (hey, we're swingers too)...you'll most likely be surprised with how much support the give to you I found this on the net and think you should read it, especially the day 1 to 6 months: Day 1 – 6 months (some may make it through this period in 3 months) Trauma Stage: A period of numbness, shock, and overwhelming grief. Some may call it the melt down period. You are in crisis. Both the hurt spouse and the offending spouse are unable to think clearly. It’s important not to make any big decisions during this time, while you are in the emotional trauma of the moment, because these will likely be decisions you will regret later. Neither is it smart to think that you can solve every thing and heal the marriage while you are in this heightened emotional state. The first thing you need to think of is stabilizing yourself. Are you sleeping? Are you eating? Take care of yourself. If you stabilize yourself and have some guidance, you can begin to do some work towards healing as a couple, but it’s a good idea to put some distance between you and the initial emotions. You are likely to experience a myriad of ups and downs. You’ll go from vigilance to save the marriage, to struggling with thoughts of anger, hatred and revenge, to just wanting to give up and cry alone in a dark room. You may experience all of this or only one side of it. Don’t underestimate the physical impact of this experience. It’s common to experience weight loss, loss of sleep, and general weakness. Be sure to get some nutrition in your body and some exercise. If you are the betrayed spouse, do not blame yourself. THE AFFAIR IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You didn’t deserve for this to happen to you. If the marriage is to be healed, the person who had the affair must break off their affair completely, and they should do it in a way that is agreeable to their spouse. It is their business!!! Here's the link to the rest: Stages Of Healing From Infidelity - Beyond Affairs See, everything you are feeling is normal. Just be sure to take care of yourself and talk. develop a support system. We're all here to help you get through this. Wish we could give you a big hug, but just know that you are not alone and you are not weak.

A club is the easiest way to get started. House parties are sometimes limited as to who even gets invited. Either choice is a safe one. Nobody is going to have you do anything without usually asking if it is okay first and saying no is a perfectly acceptable answer. Most swingers are very polite and honor others wishes. Even cruises are safe...some of the people who attend them are nudists who are not interested in swinging so once again, asking is required (but with a cruise, if you don't like it, it's harder to go home early). I would start with probably a club. When you get there, let the owner know you are nubies and they will most likely show you around and get you comfortable with where everything is. You will not have to do anything you don't want to (or are not ready for). If you check some of the other postings on this same subject, I think you will find out that others who have gone before you have found the same thing. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

A club environment would be - to me - a bit of a 'safer' environment. Most clubs have plenty of people who are just there for the environment, while the house parties I've been to are a bit more hard core. Not to say that both wouldn't be all right, you just might have an easier time dipping the toes at a club. However, if you're sure you want to play with others that first time, you might have better luck at a party. Good luck!

Wow we are new to this and this discussion has been really helpful. Don't know where what mess we would have ended up in without it!

I had talked to my wife for ages about swinging, all with no luck, but she was always into the idea when we were having sex. A few years later on holiday in Florida we met a guy who ran the local picture gallery, he took a shine to her and I finally convinced her to fuck him. Holiday fever and excitement took over and She agreed but I couldn't watch. This was half way through our time there. She told me all about it and she knew how excited it made me when she recounted the sex with him. After a lot a discussion she agreed to fuck him whilst I watched. I spoke to the guy explaining the situation and he also agreed provided I just watched, which was more than fine by me. I still remember that for me special moment. I was so nervous, almost shaking. I sat in a chair in our hotel room a little to the side, she didn't want eye contact with me she said. When the moment came and she spread her legs and he moved above her between them although I couldn't see the actual moment of penetation, when he pushed forward she raised her hips and gasped, and held his hips with both hands, I knew he was then in her. He stayed still for some time before starting. I almost came in my trousers. I looked at her face she had her eyes closed but I could see in her expression what she had just experienced. I just could not believe what I was seeing, to me it was the greatest sexual charge I had ever had. He was very good with her, aware that she and also me were so very nervous. It was the most exciting pit of stomach churning feeling I have ever had. Since that time I have watched her with many men it always turns me on, but never like that very first time.

I don't often plug my book, but this is a case where I feel it would be very beneficial. Check out the link in my signature. It'll walk you through the questions you need to answer to know you are ready as well as help you with talking through your boundaries.

Start by reading just about everything you can in Curious About Swinging and ask any and all the questions you may still have (all questions are now answered for the same small fee: $0.00). Here's the short version to start you off: Swinging is all about love, trust and communication. You can't have too much of any of these. Swinging will make a great relationship greater, but, like the magnifying glass that it is, will greatly show any flaws that the relationship may have. Swinging will not 'fix' a damaged relationship (unless you call ending it a 'fix'). Swinging is at best a hobby, it should never be more than that. Set your rules and limits and NEVER exceed them unless you both have the chance to talk about it outside of a sexual situation. Your rules and limits should continue to evolve over time. If one person says no to anything or anyone for any reason, the answer for both of you is no...no questions, no repercussions. Never 'take one for the team'. Don't rush, there is no need to try and get to the end. Enjoy the trip as much as the destination. Your should always think about your partner first before even your own wants. When you are with another couple, be sure to 'check in' with your partner and make sure that they are okay with everything. Always keep talking with your partner. I'm sure that more will come to me, but this is a good start. Read, learn, talk, repeat. Good luck and let us know how you two are progressing!

Welcome! The best tip for your first swinging event, and every other swinging event after that, is to go with no expectations other than having a fun night out together. Do that and you can't go wrong!

If you are entirely new to swing, you might want to learn a little of what it’s all about before you formulate your personal set of rules. Swing seems not to be the same for any two people. A swing club is a good way of starting a path toward learning. Go to a club planning simply to have a look around and to have an opportunity to talk to a few people. Even people who plan to go find sex on their first club visit are almost always disappointed. Plan simply to go out for a good time and an education. to Swingersboard.

I am wondering & need advice esp from Desi (south Asian) husband how to convince wife in swing lifestyle since our culture is very conservative & it's a Taboo hard to break. Thanks.

So at this point Mrs. E has played with three other men. I've been present for all of it and wouldn't have it any other way, usually participating but sometimes taking turns. I agree totally with the "she's my favorite porn star" sentiment. There's a wide, wide range of what's "normal". Our first session was Mrs. E giving a friend's husband head before a woman went down on me. Our last session was me guiding Mrs. E's head in my lap while she was on all fours getting fucked from behind. It's all been good fun so far.

Definitely my wife spends the night with her lovers, usually several nights. My wife has cultivated lovers in the cities she travels to for work. She NEEDS sex and for her masturbation doesn't cut it except as a warm up. So it's more important for her to have access to dick when she's away from home more so than for casual fun on weekends, that's when usually I'm involved, it's a couples sharing and we go home together.

machiavel55, I don't have as much experience in the swing community (have been with 10 couples, maybe), but I do think that spending the whole night alone with a new partner is more likely to lead to romance. It's not a certainty, just more likely. A well known open relationship advocate and sex educator Reid Mihalko lists 4 rules for keeping sex casual or on the lighter side with a lover. 1. Do not wake up by their side. 2. Group sex reduces helps keep it casual. 3. Don't fuck them all weekend long. 4. Don't fuck them more than once a month unless you're a black belt at "friends with benefits". Source: podcast episode of Why Are People into That? Why Are People Into That?

I am very curious if there are a lot of women who squirt? I am a squirter and I have found that it only one man thought it was disgusting. My hubby finds it a huge turn-on. I had someone tell me once that they thought "some people call it squirting...but they pee." To me that is so DISGUSTING and not true! Another thought that I would do it every time I would orgasm. That is not true for me either. If I get really turned on...It can happen over and over again. And is mostly when my orgasms are intense. Just the same I can orgasm and have sex without it happening. How many of you think this a turn-on?

Lol. Okay then, let's say sex partners

Hi and welcome to the forum, cathaycouple. I'm sorry I can't help with the "wife wasn't raised in North America" part of your question but hopefully members who fit the bill will come forth and help you out. The only thing I can imagine for those who have wives that were not born in North America yet have an Asian heritage is that if their husband brought it up, they might feel obligated to "go along" with him because he is considered the head of the household--if they were raised to view the male as the head and to follow his desires and instructions.

This really speaks to me, so sorry about this long post! My husband brought up the idea and we decided together to try it. I love it and love the social aspect of swinging. I run a group that is quite active and there is always something going on. He enjoys the sex between us and with friends and how our relationship has grown. But, really he would be just as happy to be much less active, to not be the couple in charge. He knows how much I enjoy it and is very supportive. But, he would probably identify somewhat with the "I've created a monster". He says about many of my hobbies, "You don't do anything halfway" In the past I was very involved with a hobby he started me on. He has known me forever and knows my ways so I know he is not surprised about my intensity. We work well together in that way. I do try to keep a balance so as not to overwhelm him. About a year ago I felt like I should step back a little from swinging. I vowed to find some new vanilla activities to devote part of my energy to, that would not involve his time like swinging does. That has gone quite well, but now it's, "Not another aquarium/terrarium build?!" "another forum?!" I also joined Facebook, so I don't spend as much time here. That was a calculated move to be more vanilla. For me being the "monster" is a struggle. I have to really remind myself to be empathetic, to remind myself we're in this together and if he's not happy, I'm not happy. Fortunately as time goes on we get better and better together communicating and taking care of each other. I think creating a monster can happen with anything, becoming parents, a hobby, a job, swinging. It's how both people in the relationship deal with it. It's such a tightrope. Asking for what you need in a kind way, compromising, finding alternatives, being compassionate about what the other person loves. A long time ago we had a rough patch. I confided that I felt being non-monogamous was something that would always be a part of me. That I would never want to go back to strict monogamy. I also said I was confident we would be able to find a way to make our relationship work for both of us, no matter what. My husband did not like that at all. It scared him that there was no going back. I wasn't going to lie though, that is how I felt. At that time we were swinging more frequently than we do now. We talked a lot. Really though it was just I felt intense passion for the lifestyle while he liked it alright, thought it was fun and sexy. I agreed to take a break for a month (that was a long time then, now we only play every few months). That break helped and showed I did have restraint and he was the most important. We moved on from there and things have gone well for the last 4 years or so. Now we're are part of a community of swingers, we spend a lot of time socializing with swing friends and the idea that non-monogamy is part of who we are is much less threatening.

I (Mr. CoupleInMD79) recently got my first "hall pass" from the Mrs., for a visit with a couple that we both really like and are close with. I did sleep over, in the other couple's bed. The Mrs. and I were fine with it, as we have slept swapped before on overnight visits with this couple. This is not something we would do with just anybody- we have reserved this kind of thing for our closest friends. I think you'd have to be pretty close with someone to be willing to "share" your snoring and morning breath with them! And the Mrs. and I make sure to give each other a Full Report afterwards on everything that happened, just to reinforce the fact that we're being completely open about what goes on. And to answer SW_PA_Couple's point, we do not consider ourselves to be in an open marriage. We considered these overnight stay occasions to be simply extended play sessions, with sleeping in between. No extra feelings are implied by this- just the close friendship and good comfort level that we hope to reach with all our swinger friends! We know some of our friends are not, and never will be, comfortable with this kind of thing, and that's fine with us. But for the very short list of friends where we're all comfortable with this, we feel like it makes us even better friends!

The gf mentioned to me the other day that the guy who we swing with had asked if she was ok with swallowing his come. She'd only ever once swallowed before with me and said she absolutely hated the taste. We discussed it and i agreed to let him come in her mouth and for her to swallow. I casually added that if she liked it then she could do whatever she wanted in future... having a feeling that she wouldn't like it!! So last weekend we all got together and he was about to finish up and came in my gf's mouth then she swallowed it. I wasn't prepared for what happened next when she proceeded to tell him he actually tasted pretty good!! The guy then looked at me with a grin that could have stretched across outback Australia!!!! Anyone been in a similar situation??... it's pretty awkward!!!

There are a few threads on here about what you can do to effect the taste AND volume of your cum (both of which will effect her desire to swallow). I have also found that Yellow 5 (found in Mountain Dew & the like) has a bad affect on the taste/ consistancy of semen. Make sure you get lots of non-caffeinated fluids to so that the consistancy is less like tapioca and more smooth.