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The way I see it, you've got two issues. You're stressed out and you have a body image issue. Body image issues aren't just for women. Take a deep breath, relax and tell yourself - I am ok. Now, put the penis away. The penis does not have to be central to everything. In fact, the penis doesn't have to be involved at all. With two hands, lips and a tongue you can do wonderful things for a partner. Focus on that. Tell your partners that you just want to pleasure them with your hands and mouth. Do so and observe and enjoy the great pleasure they get from it. This, I think, will help you find the self-confidence you need. As that self confidence grows, you will be able to enjoy yourself more. (Also, the average adult male human penis is about 5.1 inches when fully erect. So that's it... you are on the high end of normal sized.)

Hello friends HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHICH ONE GOES FIRST? Sorry I was smirking when I asked this but really thought, is there any way to peacefully decide? We both love when the other person has fun but I also want to be considerate towards my hubby who would let me go at it first if I ask him (but that would be unfair now wouldn't it ) Cheers xoxo MichJosh

Let me echo the support and recommendation for Julie's book. It is outstanding. Another recent short tome is Swingers' Lifestyle by Jackie Melfi. John and Jackie Melfi operate a site, www.openlove101.com that contains some useful video content; the book is also useful. Welcome and keep the questions coming.

I'm always amazed when somebody describes an experience that seems so consistent with our own. Very well described. We had initially met up with our friends in the pool for our first soft play night as a couple, and her first time touching another man in almost ten years. She had to literally get out of the pool and collect herself for a minute when she touched his cock for the first time. Then she was on board and ended up topless between his legs on a pool lounger, same wide-eyed "I'm really doing this" expression. As first she was just touching it, but then he pushed her hair back and she wrapped her lips around it. Every muscle in my body tensed up for the duration. When he came, she missed the last spurt. When she stood up she looked like she was lost in a strange town and wandered around for a moment before we had to break the news that the she had her friend's husband's cum all over her chin. Our first full swap was with that couple the following evening.

One of my favorite memories is the time that my wife and I had her first full swap with another couple. Up until a certain point in that night, we had to been having a soft swap out with the other couple. Lots of wandering hands And oral between both couples. At one point my wife looked up and said "all right now, I don't care whose dick it is but somebody is going to fuck me now! " it was so hot to hear my wife be so blunt and into the experience. I promptly obliged and began to slide inside her briefly. I then watched another man have fun with my wife for the first time :-)

Her first time with another man in front of me since we were married couldn't have been more perfect. She was so shy and nervous it was like watching a virgin. She kept her eyes closed from the moment she was naked and laying on her back on the bed waiting for him. As he began to press his cock into her her mouth and eyes opened wide to look at him and down at his cock as he pushed into her.

We've only had a total of four play sessions with the same couple, but our first full swap was very vivid. Mrs. E bent over one side of the bed and Mrs. E's friend bent over my side, both getting it from behind. I'm not sure who Mrs. E made more eye contact with, me or her friend while her friend's husband fucked her, but it was one of those dazed "desperate for cock" looks that I really prized.

Events that stand out most in my memory... The time, at the club, when a guy had my wife bent over a foot rest/ottoman and thrust into her so hard both the ottoman and the wife basically went flying across the room. We promptly decided to relocate to an actual bed... and four or five guys from the audience followed, and eventually joined in. The time, also at the club, when I was watching my wife in a threesome with two guys and another guy, sitting next to me, said how beautiful she was and how he wished he could have a chance with someone like her. I encouraged him to ask her, once one of her play partners finished, and sure enough he got his wish. Finally, my first time with the young lady who was my friend-with-benefits for about a year. Seeing a strong, smart, kind of sarcastic young lady suddenly look shy and hesitant as we kissed for the first time... just wow. Given how that whole thing ended, that one's bitter sweet but I don't regret it.