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We have remarked elsewhere that we are more engaged with the organ that lies between the ears than the one between the thighs, even in the LS. The neologism for this preference is "sapiosexual", denoting sexual attraction to (and arousal in response to) intelligence. The topic has been discussed in websites aimed at men , magazines aimed at women and even in that staid publication, The New York Times. Characteristics of sapiosexuals are said to include: Attraction increases the more you learn about someone and get to know them. Given a choice, you would prefer a great conversation over mediocre sex. What s/he knows is a bigger turn on than what s/he possesses. Disregard for language (including bad grammar) is a turn-off. Sapiosexuals are more likely to seek--and are more likely to find--a diamond in the rough. Curiosity and a love of knowledge for its own sake is a turn-on. With that in mind, here is yet another poll....

I share your confidence that J would find no attraction to Herman Munster. Regarding the results so far...options #1 and #4 (paraphrasing those options: "don't care much about whether and what people are thinking so long as they are physically attractive"; and "thinking and fucking are mutually exclusive; the LS is about the latter") frame up what many people NOT in the LS believe to be the thoughts of those who ARE in the LS.

I voted #2: "Some physical attraction required, but what really turns us on is their minds." ... but a better choice may have been something like: "Physical attraction lends a lot, but adding a good mental connection is more likely to take it to the top." (Yep. Creating comprehensive polls is tough.) So... It can be an either-or-both kind of thing, and it can depend on my mood. The range can be pure, raw, animal sex, to sweet & sensual. Sometimes the entire range is experienced in a single session, sometimes just one segment of the range. The raw animal sex side can be just a physical attraction. Mother Nature's plan (procreation) is executed well here. On the more sensual side, I'd have to say that a good mental / intellectual connection is pretty much required. So from an evolutionary viewpoint, what you end up with is a lot of good bodies, some good minds ("animal" usually wins), or some combination. I think humanity is pretty fickle in general. So the "mixed bag" is prevalent. Personally, I believe diversity is essential. This is probably the biggest attraction to the Swing Lifestyle for me. One person cannot bring it all, but one person can bring a lot. Find that one person, who also allows you some occasional diversions, and you've really got something. This condition is exceptionally rare, however. Partly because of personal differences, partly due to social structure (status quo). Bottom line is: Animal sex is great, but adding the intellectual element brings the best experience, and is always worth the wait (IMHO). ;-) BTW - Most of the time... The intellectual element tends to be more a part of foreplay... followed by great animal sex. :">

Yes we love to host parties for our friends. The key here is never a party open to the public and we invite those we have met and or spoken with over time while keeping the numbers limited to what we have space for. If it's a playu party we make it clear what time to arrive, what time we expect everyone to be naked by and what time the party ends. If we don't know their real names we don't ivite then.

Definitely, the mind is important, and attitude toward sex (through use of brain power) will determine if the person is an interesting sexual person. There are lots of people who I find interesting, but there is no sexual connection. But in order for there to be a sexual connection, there has to be something going on in the intellectual sphere. To Judy39, there is quite a difference between sloppy use of the language by a native speaker and the errors that are made by people that are not native speakers. I don't think we are so narrow minded that we don't allow for those slips which are often quite endearing. I, for one, have enough trouble communicating in only one language; I have the highest regard for those who can do so in more than one language.

Not for a few days, although we look forward to the play date, we wouldn't want it to take priority over our own sex life and connection. We would usually not have sex together on the day of the playdate, partly to build up the anticipation, but also to reduce the chance of a performance issue with the other couple.

Height weight proportionate. As opposed to BBW, big, beautiful woman, a preference of some. And BBC, big black cock, which I think depersonalizes black men.

Yes, but you're saying it by using inflammatory statistics to elicit an emotional - fear-based - response. I find that harmful to the community in general and especially harmful on this subforum which is dedicated to new swingers learning about the community. We both agree that people should use a measure of caution and common sense. However, making people afraid doesn't encourage caution. It only encourages fear.

99% of all convicted murderers ate vegetables. Based solely on this statistic I figure it's not worth the risk to eat vegetables. It's possible, and even easy, to make figures say whatever you want them to say. This is why you should always check where the figures have come from and what their possible agenda might be.

Thank you, thank you. We are confronted with this kind of statistical illogic every day in the news. People trying to be sensational. I find it so frustrating (tiring, actually) to be constantly ciphering the real facts from the "facts" presented in a way to make it fit someone's script. Thanks again.

Your examples are serial killers and crime statistics? OK, we can agree that men commit 80.4% of violent crimes. However, the percentage of violent crimes to the total population is, if I have calculated this correctly, 0.4%... if 80.4% of those are committed by men, we have roughly 0.3% of the total population are male violent criminals. Not 98%. Not 90%. Not 80%. 0.3% of the total population (based 2013 US violent crime statistics). Two takeaways here... Most people aren't violent criminals and inflammatory statistics don't impress data analysts. Sound you use caution when meeting new people? Of course you should. You should look both ways before crossing the street. You should bring an umbrella if it looks like rain. You should use a condom. However, there is a big difference between reasonable caution and fear.

I'm very sorry that you've clearly had such negative experiences with single men, Sun&Moon. However, while this may be true of your experience, it is not a universal truth. In fact, the vast majority of single guys we have met while swinging have been polite and respectful. I can literally count on the fingers of one hand the number of problems we've had with single guys in our 10+ years of swinging and even those could be solved by a firm word.

Wife is a huge fan of the rabbit but not the knock off ones, we have had a few of these. She likes the vibrator that fits over my penis, we've gone through a couple of those. She has a big massager with a soft rubber sleeve. I got the sleeve at a women's store in Toronto. It's pretty essential for the massager. We are still playing with the WEVibe. It's a U shaped device to stimulate both her G-Spot and clit. It has a remote control. It was really fun getting her off on the motorcycle as we were going down the road!! The life size dildos never worked for her, however she has never had one in the eleven years we have been together, plenty of the real thing I guess??