Leaderboard

Wife and I just got back from a week at Hedo II. Our first time to any such place and my wife was somewhat reluctant. Let's go back some. We did a few MFM 30 years ago but just was not comfortable trying to hook up at the corner bar and way to much to drink. Raising kids, work and everyday life put us into that well known rut of basically just living with very little excitement anymore. We started having long talks and really digging into each others pasts and learned things that had been hidden in the back of our minds that we never knew about each other for the 30 years that we have been married. We bought some toys and started to explore each other an ourselves more. We talked more openly and shared inner fantasies. We had not been on a "us only" vacation in 20 years and even that one had work time requirements. I started searching for adult only resorts and doing a lot of research and comment reading. I started to discuss with my wife and started to narrow down some resorts and then more research. The LAST place that I expected to go was where we went over this last Thanksgiving week. Hedo II in Jamaica. My wife read everything about the place and was hesitant but with the clothing optional "Prude" side she said ok. It being rather easy for us to get to and IF needed, to leave. Rider, my wife, made it VERY CLEAR to me several times that she was not going to do anything that she did not want to do including going nude. I WAS NOT to try to force or suggest anything regarding others and if I tried she would leave. OH MAN>>> Ok. Booked the VIP package with ground floor room with hot tub on the beach. Having a layover in Miami we went shopping at the Dolphin Mall that has a Victoria's Secret and other shops to get Rider a whole bunch of new sexy cloths. (something that went missing from her closet 30 years ago.) She/we had a blast looking at and her trying on several different items and when done, had to really work on closing the suitcase for the flight the next day. Getting thru Jamaican customs was a complete nightmare. The VIP greeting and to the lounge while someone else did everything was not even close. They could not even find the private car to drive us the 1.5 hours to Hedo. I was not happy at all. At Hedo check-in it took over 30 minutes while we watched 2 other couples come in after us and gone to their rooms while we waited. Of course, my loving wife kept reminding me of "her rules". I was in HELL! In the room we exchanged some heated words while sitting on the semi private deck with the hot tub looking out at the ocean and a few dressed and some nude people lounging around a little ways off. After unpacking and having a drink, she wants to explore and find the spa where she already had reservations the next morning for full massage, manicure and pedicure. She wanted to see the gym and what else was available in neutral area where at least some cover-up was suggested and the norm. Then we walked along the prude beach seeing some dressed some nude and up to the sign: "Clothing Not Allowed". I start to turn around to go back but she looks at me and strips as if it was the most natural thing to do. WHAT THE f...??? I strip and she grabs my hand and we walk the somewhat busy nude beach. Seeing people of all ages and body types. Rider keeps going even though she knows from the maps that at the end of the beach has a pool and hot tub were sex is rather common. She grabs two lounges next to the hot tub and I get a couple of beers. We watch and see just about everything. We get into the hot tub and we both feel so... turned on. Others introduce themselves. It was rather strange at first being naked and having other naked people introduce themselves with no problem at all. Some made some minor comments that suggested they would be open to a hook up but really.......... only 1 couple in 5 days was aggressive and rude. After some time and seeing several BJs and ladies laid out on the tub deck with a head between their legs, we got dressed and had dinner. My shy wife then informs me that the "play room" opens at 10:30 PM so we should have a nap first. ........... Huhhh? WHAT DID MY WIFE JUST SAY? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL HER RULES? WHO DRUGGED HER? This is NOT my wife! Having to walk some ways, Rider put on some of her new cloths. Small sheer bra and panties with a sexy cover-up. I'm not into cloths but she felt so good being naughty, sexy and being so seductive and after all those years of plain everyday work type stuff, she loved being a woman and MY reaction was obvious. The Play Room was liberating and we spent 3 hours just stroking, kissing, touching, talking and lots of edging each other. While several others were in the room on their own mattress and watching others doing all sorts of things in the dimly lit room no one was aggressive and I didn't see anyone outwardly gawking. Rider said that she had never felt so "free" and comfortable. I think that we realized that our bodies, beings and desires are pretty close to those around us. Rider came 3 times and I twice while there. Dressed and then the thrill of undressing her again in our room led to another. Up at 9 AM and she had more new items to wear to breakfast then straight back to the hot tub and in no time at all I was sitting on the edge getting a BJ in full view. I did her a little later. Met a single older gentleman and we all clicked and hung out. The next day she wanted to go for a walk and I didn't so he went with her. I had been giving them a little alone time but all in public and we had changed the rules that nothing happens without the other knowing and must be present and in a public area. I saw them return and get into the hot tub. I was on a lounge close by. Rider sat close to him with their backs to me. I saw their arms moving some. Then Rider got between his legs as he lifted up above the water and she started a BJ. She then was on his lap facing him bouncing. I entered the tub and held her beast up for him to suck while they fucked with his hands holding her checks to keep the rhythm going. Him sucking her nipples and kissing her while her head was leaned back and moaning. He came. They rested for a minute and Rider got onto the deck and just about ordered me to eat her and finish her orgasm while our new friend continued to play with her nipples. Must have been quite the sight for all the others around to watch but we really didn't notice them at all. The rest of our stay we continued to enjoy and except. Our new friend had left and we didn't find anyone else that we wanted to play with. Though several did approach us and did so with respect. Our 1st time doing this. As you can tell, I'm still very excited about the whole experience and have written a novel. Sorry. Being home, Rider puts on sexy cloths for me... NO... for US. And we are like young kids just married. Naaa. Better then that! We have already booked our next trip in March and both excited and ready to go. More new toys and cloths ordered. After all, this is Monday and we got back on Saturday. (it's going to be a very long 3.5 months.)

If you are including your lack of experience in your profile, that will be your problem. Leave that out! Couples are trying to avoid drama, and your lack of experience is a warning sign for drama (especially since they don't know you like we know you ). Make sure that you stress that you both have been wanting this and are ready to move forward and take action on this. Saying that you have limited partners (this will be her second partner total) just screams potential drama (not knowing how either of you will react). Of course, make sure that you are both ready and are going to be 'drama free' before you do move forward. Have you tried contacting other couples yourself or are you waiting for them to come to you? Clubs (as already suggested) are also a great way to get started (as long as the club is a good club). Anyways, let us know how things are progressing for you both and good luck.

We've never had an issue with new couples. We were new ourselves once and were quite surprised by what we saw going on at our first club. We were also so turned on that we locked ourselves in a room and boinked like newlyweds….twice. The next time we went to a different club that had stick-on name tags, red border for 1st timer/blue for returners. Several couples approached us and were very open and friendly even though we both had that "deer in the headlight" look. One couple, a few years older than us kind of adopted us and made it a point to seek us out each time we were at the club and always asked how we were progressing and were open to questions. Eventually, they invited us to a group room with them and another couple. We weren't ready to swap but we were ready to get naked in a group. We stayed to one side of the big bed, we watched, played with each other, and eventually did a bit of touching with the two couples while they boinked and swapped. It was the most erotic thing we had ever seen/done. After that night, we were hooked. Next time we soft swapped with that couple and it was wonderful. We eventually met another couple with whom we got comfortable enough to finally swap in the same room. We're STILL friends. The point is that for most couples, this hobby is a progression. We understand that as do many of our friends and we (and they) don't mind investing a little time and consideration in helping new couples find their way. Our advice…go to some on premises clubs, be friendly and approach people (" hi, this is our 1st time here, do you mind our asking…..?"). As a conversation progresses be up front about what you'd like to do/see. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how many nice and genuinely interested and kind couples you'll meet who also want to have sex with you. Remember too, this is YOUR journey, go at YOUR speed. You owe no one anything except honesty. Let us know how you are progressing.

Or "in favor", depending on how you look at it.

Our first experience was at a club. Although we didn't play that evening, we made contacts and had a foursome swap at their house ten days later. After that, it was off to the races . . . I can't recommend starting to find couples at a club highly enough.

Welcome to The Swingers Board. Quite an opening post! I think others here will be much better at advise on this situation than me, but I'll offer my $.02. The hardest part of swinging is finding 4 people that get along well and have some chemistry. It sounds like you have that part. Now it's just working out the details. Beware though, that it sounds to me like the husband will agree to anything but will again try to get your wife alone. Boundaries not only need to be communicated, but also enforced. Good luck and let us know how it progresses.

Welcome to the Swingers Board! I'm going to guess that an experienced couple may have, at one time, played with a new couple. With a new couple, one never knows how it is going to go down. Thinking about your wife having sex with someone else and seeing it is completely different. No one wants to be in a situation with a jealous spouse. Maybe you guys should try a club. This way you can break your news after getting to know a couple. Good luck! Keep us posted on how it goes for you guys.

I'd probably try setting up profiles on some of the online personals sites like Swinglifestyle and Swingtowns, and make it clear that you are interested in some digital soft swinging through swapping pics. I'd suggest limiting who can view your profile to just couples to help weed out the single males unless you want deluged with dick pics. There will still be plenty of sorting through to do, but you might eventually find some couples who are interested in the same thing and like to trade pics just for fun and excitement.

Skin tight Black party dress FTW! Got one for her when I was in Covent Gardens (London) last year!

Not for a few days, although we look forward to the play date, we wouldn't want it to take priority over our own sex life and connection. We would usually not have sex together on the day of the playdate, partly to build up the anticipation, but also to reduce the chance of a performance issue with the other couple.

As the others have said your not weak - you see your life go down the drain - we'd be pissed to and going though many of the emotions your now going through. - Get some help you must take care of you 1st - Then and only then can you help others ( husband or any one else ) I should of said that the advice given by myself is for when you are feeling better and can then take control. ( sorry i thought it was implied lol ) Are you seeing a doc or therapist? have any friends that you can talk too? Hell get on a help line and vent if you have too. So please take our advice of getting your self help 1st - while posting on here is ok and we want to help if we can please at lest try to look after yourself. If you can not eat or keep it down take some vitamin pills, while you go though this anything to help keep your body going. Lastly - there once was a king whose kingdom was destroyed and many of his people killed - looking to his wise men ( that were left ) he asked what can i ever think off to help put this back together? They gave him a ring with the words on it "This to shall pass" ( many different peoples claim this saying) I find when all hope is lost that it helps me think of the future and what i can do to bring in better days - I hope it will do that for you also.

We had a night out at a club recently, it was a pretty expensive night , about £200 with entry and accommodation etc, so I figured we had to make the effort and talk to people, in the past we would usually just hang around the bar until someone approached us, there were a lot of younger couples at this club and we knew we couldn't just sit back and wait for someone else to do all the work, we approached 5 couples throughout the night, we found that a comment from my wife about the other lady's dress or shoes was usually enough to get the conversation rolling, if they are couples you haven't spoken to before then usually all the usual questions like "how did you start?" , "how long have you been together?" Etc will be enough to fill 10-15 minutes of conversation and that's usually enough to determine if there's any spark. We didn't feel much of a spark with any of the couples we approached but we still had a good laugh with them and ended up having a great night, it never got awkward or anything, remember that a chat is just a chat, if it starts to become something more then cross that bridge when you come to it, don't go into a conversation worrying that the other couple are on to you and know that you're only after one thing lol, sounds silly but that's how we used to approach conversations and it's hard to focus on small talk when you're looking too far down the line

Ok, speaking on a subject near and dear to us we would never have a problem being with a couple who has a significant age gap since we ARE that couple. I am 11 years younger than the wife, which is already an anomaly even in vanilla relationships, so finding others with a similar situation would be a plus especially a younger man/older woman dynamic. It would allow both of us to get our fix. The more common younger woman/older man would be ok though as long as the opposing scales were close to our ages since we both have our limits to how young or old we will go regardless of gender.