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One can be honest and market at the same time. How about... "We would love to meet experienced couples who can show us the ropes!" You can include how solid your marriage is, how turned on by the idea both of you are, and indicate you want a drama free introduction to the lifestyle. I would bet some couples will respond. Babe and I met a somewhat older couple who were delighted to offer to give us advice, share their experiences, and introduce us around at the club even though there wasn't much in the way of erotic chemistry bubbling up. As others have said, on premises clubs give you a chance to talk to several couples face-to-face and make a good first impression.

Has anyone tried a cuckolded Creampie? I would love to eat my wife's pussy after she gets creampied by another guy or two. I think it would be good for both of us.

Wife and I just got back from a week at Hedo II. Our first time to any such place and my wife was somewhat reluctant. Let's go back some. We did a few MFM 30 years ago but just was not comfortable trying to hook up at the corner bar and way to much to drink. Raising kids, work and everyday life put us into that well known rut of basically just living with very little excitement anymore. We started having long talks and really digging into each others pasts and learned things that had been hidden in the back of our minds that we never knew about each other for the 30 years that we have been married. We bought some toys and started to explore each other an ourselves more. We talked more openly and shared inner fantasies. We had not been on a "us only" vacation in 20 years and even that one had work time requirements. I started searching for adult only resorts and doing a lot of research and comment reading. I started to discuss with my wife and started to narrow down some resorts and then more research. The LAST place that I expected to go was where we went over this last Thanksgiving week. Hedo II in Jamaica. My wife read everything about the place and was hesitant but with the clothing optional "Prude" side she said ok. It being rather easy for us to get to and IF needed, to leave. Rider, my wife, made it VERY CLEAR to me several times that she was not going to do anything that she did not want to do including going nude. I WAS NOT to try to force or suggest anything regarding others and if I tried she would leave. OH MAN>>> Ok. Booked the VIP package with ground floor room with hot tub on the beach. Having a layover in Miami we went shopping at the Dolphin Mall that has a Victoria's Secret and other shops to get Rider a whole bunch of new sexy cloths. (something that went missing from her closet 30 years ago.) She/we had a blast looking at and her trying on several different items and when done, had to really work on closing the suitcase for the flight the next day. Getting thru Jamaican customs was a complete nightmare. The VIP greeting and to the lounge while someone else did everything was not even close. They could not even find the private car to drive us the 1.5 hours to Hedo. I was not happy at all. At Hedo check-in it took over 30 minutes while we watched 2 other couples come in after us and gone to their rooms while we waited. Of course, my loving wife kept reminding me of "her rules". I was in HELL! In the room we exchanged some heated words while sitting on the semi private deck with the hot tub looking out at the ocean and a few dressed and some nude people lounging around a little ways off. After unpacking and having a drink, she wants to explore and find the spa where she already had reservations the next morning for full massage, manicure and pedicure. She wanted to see the gym and what else was available in neutral area where at least some cover-up was suggested and the norm. Then we walked along the prude beach seeing some dressed some nude and up to the sign: "Clothing Not Allowed". I start to turn around to go back but she looks at me and strips as if it was the most natural thing to do. WHAT THE f...??? I strip and she grabs my hand and we walk the somewhat busy nude beach. Seeing people of all ages and body types. Rider keeps going even though she knows from the maps that at the end of the beach has a pool and hot tub were sex is rather common. She grabs two lounges next to the hot tub and I get a couple of beers. We watch and see just about everything. We get into the hot tub and we both feel so... turned on. Others introduce themselves. It was rather strange at first being naked and having other naked people introduce themselves with no problem at all. Some made some minor comments that suggested they would be open to a hook up but really.......... only 1 couple in 5 days was aggressive and rude. After some time and seeing several BJs and ladies laid out on the tub deck with a head between their legs, we got dressed and had dinner. My shy wife then informs me that the "play room" opens at 10:30 PM so we should have a nap first. ........... Huhhh? WHAT DID MY WIFE JUST SAY? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL HER RULES? WHO DRUGGED HER? This is NOT my wife! Having to walk some ways, Rider put on some of her new cloths. Small sheer bra and panties with a sexy cover-up. I'm not into cloths but she felt so good being naughty, sexy and being so seductive and after all those years of plain everyday work type stuff, she loved being a woman and MY reaction was obvious. The Play Room was liberating and we spent 3 hours just stroking, kissing, touching, talking and lots of edging each other. While several others were in the room on their own mattress and watching others doing all sorts of things in the dimly lit room no one was aggressive and I didn't see anyone outwardly gawking. Rider said that she had never felt so "free" and comfortable. I think that we realized that our bodies, beings and desires are pretty close to those around us. Rider came 3 times and I twice while there. Dressed and then the thrill of undressing her again in our room led to another. Up at 9 AM and she had more new items to wear to breakfast then straight back to the hot tub and in no time at all I was sitting on the edge getting a BJ in full view. I did her a little later. Met a single older gentleman and we all clicked and hung out. The next day she wanted to go for a walk and I didn't so he went with her. I had been giving them a little alone time but all in public and we had changed the rules that nothing happens without the other knowing and must be present and in a public area. I saw them return and get into the hot tub. I was on a lounge close by. Rider sat close to him with their backs to me. I saw their arms moving some. Then Rider got between his legs as he lifted up above the water and she started a BJ. She then was on his lap facing him bouncing. I entered the tub and held her beast up for him to suck while they fucked with his hands holding her checks to keep the rhythm going. Him sucking her nipples and kissing her while her head was leaned back and moaning. He came. They rested for a minute and Rider got onto the deck and just about ordered me to eat her and finish her orgasm while our new friend continued to play with her nipples. Must have been quite the sight for all the others around to watch but we really didn't notice them at all. The rest of our stay we continued to enjoy and except. Our new friend had left and we didn't find anyone else that we wanted to play with. Though several did approach us and did so with respect. Our 1st time doing this. As you can tell, I'm still very excited about the whole experience and have written a novel. Sorry. Being home, Rider puts on sexy cloths for me... NO... for US. And we are like young kids just married. Naaa. Better then that! We have already booked our next trip in March and both excited and ready to go. More new toys and cloths ordered. After all, this is Monday and we got back on Saturday. (it's going to be a very long 3.5 months.)

"It depends." Lame answer, I know. Babe has a narrower range of "acceptable ages" than I do. As a result, if we were to meet an older woman who had presence, personality, and was "still in looks" who was with a younger man they would not automatically be out of the running. It would boil down to whether or not they were comfortable together and we were attracted to them. If its an older man with a younger woman, it would depend on just how old he was. Anyone more than ten years older than Babe is going to run afoul of her psychological block irrespective of how old his lady is or isn't. By that same token, I strongly prefer women who are at least into their late 20's, with women from 30-55 being most appealing to me. Is she 20 and he's 50? Because while she may not be too young for him, she may be too young for me! The real question is: do you have four people who are hot for one another? If so, age is mostly a number. That said, one of the couples we are chatting with consists of a 38 year old woman and a 52 year old man. Their 14 year difference doesn't bother us .

Great profile and pictures - I'm sure it works very well as is, but 10-20 selected pics would be more effective than 56 as a conversation starter. After all that's what the profile is for - to serve as a teaser, not as a complete book of all possible angles and perspectives.

One, because we may have been in the same room and even next to each other on the same bed, but I'm concentrating on my playmate and she's concentrating on hers. We keep a general sense of how the other is doing and how things are going in case of any problem, but that's about the extent of it. Two, you may be next to their body but you can never be in their head. So, talking about it is the only way to see what each liked, didn't like, learned, want to do next time, want to avoid next time, etc.

Well as the guy half......I really want to hear all about it!

Not necessarily a gendered issue. I don't discuss past relationships except in vague terms with Babe. Nor am I a guy who goes sniffing around his exes. They are exes and those relationships are over for a reason. And, those reasons have nothing to do with Babe. This, however, is very different! You definitely need to "check in" about how you both feel, what you both think, what was good, what was bad, and whether you would do them (or it) again. This is a very intense and intimate experience you will be having together and you will need to process it together. That doesn't mean you need a blow-by-blow porn recap (you were both there), but the internal part of the experience you both had does need to be discussed.

Depends what you are looking for...we are still new at this so we do try to avoid hi cert couples, but that’s because our small experience with them have not been so great, and have found them to be pushy...we even had one invite us to a gangbang for a first meet...really, is that even normal? Also, can be considered a high risk couple for STD’s IMO. I know sounds ignorant, but we be lying otherwise. Now if your profile is old, and have very little...then it would look like a wast of time couple to us. So with that said: If you want low mileage couples like ourselves then lower your carts. If you are looking for a sure thing (bed post notch couple) then keep the high number of certs. On that note, we did see a profile that stated that they will certify couples they meet if they wanted, but will refuse any new certs as they have enough to prove that they are a real couple. They had around 15 certs which in our opinion is well balanced.

Interesting. Since my wife and I are kinda in the same situation. We have been talking about our past relationships with others but she is reluctant to give details and usually I get "I don't remember." To me, simple questions such as: What was the attraction? What did you two have in common? Where did you meet? How long did you date before sleeping together? How did you feel about the sex and what turned you and him on? She just says... "I don't remember." It's like me pulling my own teeth out. lol. She very seldom will ask me about my past so I gently will work it into our talks when I feel it would help her. Since we just returned from our great experience at Hedo, I make some comments trying to share the experiences and to keep that vibe going. I was right there and saw mostly what was going on and joined in at the end. She does talk and brings up a little but she said that "I'm beating it to death". Though she understands that it is a turn on for me to get a little more details I'm understanding that she is not getting that same turned on feeling. Quite the opposite. Reading here and other threads, this appears to be a basic difference between men and women? I like to be more verbal during sex and she does not at all. I ask her; where she goes during sex and she says that she does not really go anywhere in her head and that she is in the moment and feeling what is going on and does not really know what is going on around her. Is this common for other women?

We remember how hard it is to make first contacts, as many have said a club was a real ice breaker, firstly allowing you to at least see sex with others even if at the time you don't want to join in, secondly it gives you something to talk about when you message people on dating sites. Don't put yourselves down on dating sites, shows a lack of confidence but equally don't be false. Confidence was key to us establishing who we are in the lifestyle and precisely what we gain out of it, it's different for everyone. Many couples we've found on dating websites are far more hardcore about it than we are, doesn't put us off we merely wish them well and move on. That first time for you needs to be a good experience if you are to go further, something many people seem to have forgotten unfortunately

We'd heard stories from some of our gay friends about clubs in Paris where gay men went to have uninhibited sex with others and it got us wondering if there were similar clubs for straight couples or couples where only the lady was bi. Thankyou google, we found not only 1 or 2 but many clubs within Paris (should mention that we live about 40 minutes away from the French capital) and finally plucked up the courage to go to one that seemed to have the most welcoming webpage, the Chateau des Lys. They were having a beginners evening (soiree debutante) so we figured it would be a good one to try. We spent a lot of time together beforehand laying down ground rules, no full swapping for example and also settled on the traffic light code for letting each other know how we felt during the evening (red=stop, green=go). We took this time also to find a hot, tight but covering minidress for V and made sure A's suit was ready to go Arriving at the club going through the Paris Metro was nervewracking for V, she felt quite exposed even though she was wearing her coat over the top. Took a while to spot the club as only a small gold plaque advertises the entrance, if we hadn't spotted another couple go through we would never have found it. It was a quiet evening inside, maybe 10-15 other couples, many quite a bit older than us and also clearly very comfortable with the lifestyle. Our eyes were popping out of our head at what the ladies were wearing (in French clubs men almost always wear suits or shirt and trousers until they go to the play areas, don't know yet if this is true in other countries) , a lot of fantastic outfits that left little to the imagination, 1 woman was wearing a gold chain and nothing else. Went down to the bar to observe what was going on and see if anyone would approach us or if there was anyone that we wanted to speak with. The owners of the club came up at this point and gave us a tour of the place, the small bar and dancefloor was all we'd seen at this point. Seeing all the play ares (coins calins in French, literally cuddle corners) definitely got V feeling randy if very nervous. When we got back down to the bar there were 2 couples about our age dancing around the pole dance podium, the ladies called V up to join them and the bumping and grinding started, they lifted her dress up and slipped her straps down to keep exposing her a little but V was nervous and kept pulling the dress back into place. Eventually they said they were going upstairs to play and we were welcome to join them so we went with them deciding to observe at first and perhaps join after. Watching our first ever group sex was very intense, V sat on the edge of the bed and it wasn't long until she was masturbating although at this point we didn't actually join in. We returned to the bar to talk about what we'd seen until Philippe and Julia came back down and spoke with us for a while, they told us about a French dating website where we could find playmates and also some of the golden rules of the lifestyle like no meaning no. After a bit V suggested that we go back upstairs just the 4 of us as she really wanted to play with Julia so off we went, A really enjoyed watching the 2 of them together, V finally letting her dress come off altogether, completely nude in front of several people (some couples had come to watch us even though we'd picked one of the quietest corners to play. She invited Philippe to join them too at which point Julia went to A and undressed him. Everyone had something to lick or touch when finally V came back to A and we had the hottest sex ever, A didn't last long with all the excitement so V lay on her back and licked Julia's body while Philippe took his time to finish. We took a shower before leaving the club and the very next day signed up to the dating site that Philippe and Julia had told us about, that was 5 years ago and we've not looked back since. Finally arrived at a place in our lives where a full swap may be just around the corner...

what? Huh? ?

The first several times Babe and I played at a club (first kink clubs then swing clubs) I could not perform. I wasn't nervous per se, but men need to be in the right "head space" as much as ladies do get their mojo rising. It was all too new and too much. It was also distracting. If their are people shrieking with laughter or trying to outdo porno moaning, groaning, and screaming in an unnatural fashion I can usually expect to have a hard time getting into it. The causes of an erection are psychologically and physiologically complex. Without the insanity-inducing hormone levels you have at eighteen being comfortable, confident, and aroused a prerequisites to action. It took a good while to be comfortable. Also, I've found that Babe can get into the mood over the course of an hour and knows what she wants to do. I am a bit of a slow-mover by comparison. Don't be afraid to give yourself some extra time to get to know the lady and prolong the flirting and foreplay.

We have fantasised about swinging/swapping for many years and I don't think either of us would be happy advertising ourselves as anything other than truthful.

I would say we have tried new things. Some things I would never had done before but learned that she liked. She has also done things things to me because she saw how I reacted with our play friends. I thought we had tried everything we both liked before. I think I have less hang ups now.

Yes we have tried things we have learned from our other partners...yes we have found our sex much more intimate...yes we have a lot of sex after we swing. Frankly it has been a really positive experience!!

My husband and I have been together for a long time and have developed a rich and varied sex life. Part of the credit goes to our play partners. Other men have done things to me that have so thrilled me that I have had my husband do them at home. Or they have asked me to make moves on them that I have later tried out on my husband. The same is true for my husband, who has brought back moves from his swinging experiences. Of course, some activities work only with specific partners. Still, our marital sex has definitely benefitted from our extramarital experiences.

I'm going to buck the trend here and say - yes, we both have "brought things home" from swinging and incorporated them into our own play. We've both discovered new techniques, positions and acts which we hadn't considered, hadn't known we enjoyed, or hadn't even thought possible (my wife turns out to be more flexible than she thought she was ). Some of them are things we've discussed and decided to incorporate into our own play. Other things we've tried and discovered that, while they were amazing with other partners, they don't work with our own dynamic. I think there has really been a measure of learning and growing for us, and I love that.

Hmmmm. This is a very interesting question. My wife is sitting right next to me so I put the question to her. Neither of us can think of any significant change in our bedroom behaviors. It's not that we havn't learned new things from our playmates; we have. It's just that we seem to have felt no call to practice our newly-learned tricks. Sufficient, in other words, to enjoy the new stuff with the new acquaintances.

I would say I had too had mixed feelings and I am the one who set up my boyfriend to have sex with my friend. I know he had mixed feelings doing it. Undressing my boyfriend and the original sexual contact was very playful. The act did feel different watching. I'm okay now.

Lots of good posts here. Agreed it is all about communication. Most of us are here to go through this WITH our other half and their concerns, problems, enjoyment, etc are all very important to us. Being in the same room just does not cut it in terms of understanding what is in their head - feelings, likes, dislikes, etc. For me I want to know if everything was ok and if not how we can make things better the next time around. For things that went well - great - now we know what works for both of us. This is a journey we make together and it cannot happen with little communication between the partners.