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For us it was mainly about building Riders' confidence and getting her want to be involved and even take the lead where she wanted to... and she did. After taking care of old baggage I: Suggested some sexy cloths on Amazon for her to choose. Suggested a couple of new toys from Amazon also. Her choice. After I did a lot of research looking at Adult places, including reading lots of the comments, I sent the links and let her do her own research. We talked about the pros and cons and as you have read, she set the rules. We had a flight layover in Miami and I suggested going to a mall that had a Victorias Secret and we shopped some more. Her having done her own research, including map study of the place, I let her take the lead and very much kept my mouth shut. She had her massage, manicure and pedicure. Put on her new sexy underwear and beach wrap. Her self esteem, confidence, feeling sexy, happy and being able to call the shots for what she wanted to due was amazing. Don't think that I was being Cucked.. I was at her side holding hands and being a part of the whole process but stayed away from the Alpha Male part of me. We just rolled with and opened up to what was around us and let what things happen that she/we felt comfortable with. That's what worked for us. And it is still working. Good Luck

The people who operate a club typically want or might even require that new members be given a tour of their facility while they explain the club's code of behaviour. It is, in any case, a good idea to let them know that you will be making your first visit. Have a good time.

You must not be too experienced if this is the first time you had a problem like this. We have experienced on more than a few occasions where the man just couldn’t or did too fast. We have also met many inexperienced couples so it may happen more with us. My wife is pretty good at handling all scenarios. I understand it can be frustrating knowing that everyone else is having a good time. It would be easy to say your partner for the night didn’t do the right thing by going to sleep or not trying other ways to let you enjoy. You can’t control what he did. You could have taken control of what went next. You could have tried to awaken the dead. You could have lowered yourself over his mouth. Or you could have joined the fun in another room. You were put into a frustrating situation, there was no wrong way to go forward. You decided to live with it.

OK, this may be long... We've been having fun with other couples for a couple of years now, and we've had some good times! Our biggest issue is getting things started. We generally host in our house or at a hotel which means we've had limited experience in cutting to the chase! Can you give me ideas, describe your routine? It's difficult because I'm shy (until I'm not) and he's quiet and very polite. We limit ourselves to singles or couples at this point but would enjoy multiple couples, but until we figure out the social aspect of everything our frustration just mounts. Example: 2 days & 2 nights in a hotel with another newbie couple, separate rooms. We brought munchies and drinks, we planned on lingerie shows for the guys, and just a great weekend of sex! What we got was no response during the day (they were napping), neither had a bite of our food(they had gone out and we had been waiting for them to eat **starving**!) other hubby doing lots of talking in the evening and we had sex with our own partners on the same bed. The next day was about the same, they went out to eat, nothing until the evening, full swap but it was meh...then lots more talking from the other hubby. Like I said, we're polite, even when people are rude. At home it's a bit easier because we get the hot tub going, but we aren't home for awhile now, we're in the RV. We went to some lengths to do the weekend bit with these two, had to take our dogs with us (they were not a problem), hauled food, toys we promised to show them, lingerie, etc. to a city an hour away,which would have been no big deal, but they were apparently oblivious. Did we do too much? Most of all I'd love some scenario's that would give us some sort of guidelines or ideas on how to get them going after we get them here! One other question, when we have a "date" we always shower and look nice, use deodorant and don't wear sweats and such, are we weird or are they?

If the venue or event doesn't imply how we should dress, we ask. One piece of advice we were given was to ask the other couple about dress, hygiene, and preferences up front. For instance, if one of them is allergic to scents, skipping cologne is a good idea. My default is dress shoes, slacks, and a Henley shirt. I have no problems putting on a button down shirt, or wearing a suit (preferably without a tie), however. But I have broad shoulders and a deep chest and the Henley makes them "pop."

Depends what you are looking for...we are still new at this so we do try to avoid hi cert couples, but that’s because our small experience with them have not been so great, and have found them to be pushy...we even had one invite us to a gangbang for a first meet...really, is that even normal? Also, can be considered a high risk couple for STD’s IMO. I know sounds ignorant, but we be lying otherwise. Now if your profile is old, and have very little...then it would look like a wast of time couple to us. So with that said: If you want low mileage couples like ourselves then lower your carts. If you are looking for a sure thing (bed post notch couple) then keep the high number of certs. On that note, we did see a profile that stated that they will certify couples they meet if they wanted, but will refuse any new certs as they have enough to prove that they are a real couple. They had around 15 certs which in our opinion is well balanced.

We'd heard stories from some of our gay friends about clubs in Paris where gay men went to have uninhibited sex with others and it got us wondering if there were similar clubs for straight couples or couples where only the lady was bi. Thankyou google, we found not only 1 or 2 but many clubs within Paris (should mention that we live about 40 minutes away from the French capital) and finally plucked up the courage to go to one that seemed to have the most welcoming webpage, the Chateau des Lys. They were having a beginners evening (soiree debutante) so we figured it would be a good one to try. We spent a lot of time together beforehand laying down ground rules, no full swapping for example and also settled on the traffic light code for letting each other know how we felt during the evening (red=stop, green=go). We took this time also to find a hot, tight but covering minidress for V and made sure A's suit was ready to go Arriving at the club going through the Paris Metro was nervewracking for V, she felt quite exposed even though she was wearing her coat over the top. Took a while to spot the club as only a small gold plaque advertises the entrance, if we hadn't spotted another couple go through we would never have found it. It was a quiet evening inside, maybe 10-15 other couples, many quite a bit older than us and also clearly very comfortable with the lifestyle. Our eyes were popping out of our head at what the ladies were wearing (in French clubs men almost always wear suits or shirt and trousers until they go to the play areas, don't know yet if this is true in other countries) , a lot of fantastic outfits that left little to the imagination, 1 woman was wearing a gold chain and nothing else. Went down to the bar to observe what was going on and see if anyone would approach us or if there was anyone that we wanted to speak with. The owners of the club came up at this point and gave us a tour of the place, the small bar and dancefloor was all we'd seen at this point. Seeing all the play ares (coins calins in French, literally cuddle corners) definitely got V feeling randy if very nervous. When we got back down to the bar there were 2 couples about our age dancing around the pole dance podium, the ladies called V up to join them and the bumping and grinding started, they lifted her dress up and slipped her straps down to keep exposing her a little but V was nervous and kept pulling the dress back into place. Eventually they said they were going upstairs to play and we were welcome to join them so we went with them deciding to observe at first and perhaps join after. Watching our first ever group sex was very intense, V sat on the edge of the bed and it wasn't long until she was masturbating although at this point we didn't actually join in. We returned to the bar to talk about what we'd seen until Philippe and Julia came back down and spoke with us for a while, they told us about a French dating website where we could find playmates and also some of the golden rules of the lifestyle like no meaning no. After a bit V suggested that we go back upstairs just the 4 of us as she really wanted to play with Julia so off we went, A really enjoyed watching the 2 of them together, V finally letting her dress come off altogether, completely nude in front of several people (some couples had come to watch us even though we'd picked one of the quietest corners to play. She invited Philippe to join them too at which point Julia went to A and undressed him. Everyone had something to lick or touch when finally V came back to A and we had the hottest sex ever, A didn't last long with all the excitement so V lay on her back and licked Julia's body while Philippe took his time to finish. We took a shower before leaving the club and the very next day signed up to the dating site that Philippe and Julia had told us about, that was 5 years ago and we've not looked back since. Finally arrived at a place in our lives where a full swap may be just around the corner...

In our opinion your new playmate was selfish. Sometimes the new guy has anxiety and can not get hard, other times they do not last long. Either way he should of continued the fun another and made sure you enjoyed yourself.

Or "in favor", depending on how you look at it.

The profile and face and body photographs are important and indispensable, along with an introductory online chat. However, a closeup shot of a large, handsome cock can be icing on the cake for me.

When we were just starting out, we were meeting couples for dinner and it seemed like we would talk about everything...except sex. So we decided to make sure to bring sex up as a topic whenever we were meeting a couple. Usually it was something simple like how long have the two of you been doing this or just asking about their adventures. At least this got the topic started. Some would quickly steer away from sex (and usually we would then steer away from them...if they can't talk about sex, how will they be able to do anything else?) but others would open the door and walk right in (and thank us for bringing it up since they didn't know how to start). We would then talk about limits and rules so that everyone was on the same page with expectations. Usually after the dinner (or meeting) we would follow up (if we were interested in them) with an invite to do something, but that something would include where things were (hopefully) leading. This way everyone knew what the basic plan was. Sometimes things would go different from the plan or someone would pump the brakes (both are okay) but the basic outline was at least out there to follow. The short answer is to be a good communicator and help them communicate as well. Last: we consider what we are doing as 'couples dating'. As a result, we do everything that we would do if we were still dating and looking for a (single) partner. Minimum REQUIREMENTS. If you aren't going to make an effort, then no effort is what you will get in return.

You guys are rock stars, the other couple, just rocks. Why don't people make the effort, honor the effort of others, present themselves in nice (not necessarily fancy) apparel and act like considerate citizens? I don't know the answer, but you should be lauded for your preparation, consideration and noble tolerance of these clods. Way to go, there are better ones out there.

I get that men are more visual, but I can honestly say seeing a pic of just a pussy does zero for this guy!

I think when a women is really rocking something, just flat out killing it, some guys might be a bit intimidated in a "I'm not worthy" sort of way and may let their shyness convince them it's best to just admire from afar. That's not your problem though, it's theirs, so if it makes you feel good to be wearing that, then absolutely, go for it!

We always dress up for dates, sometimes we are overdressed. That doesn't bother me because I can be sure that if a connection is not made it is definitely not because we don't take care with our appearance. One less thing to worry about.

I almost always wear dresses in swing situations because I like to. I prefer people be overdressed than sloppy, but I understand some people are more comfortable casual. How you feel comfortable and sexy and what your husband likes are the most important things in my opinion. It would be fine to send a message to the wife of the couple you are meeting to ask if she knows what she's wearing. If she doesn't know you can say what you are planning. It can be a little awkward to be dressed at opposite extremes.

A lot of "straight" guys are lying on their profile. I'm listed straight and I still get "straight" guys asking if I'm into guys, so it's going to be worse for you. Also I think some guys are so hard up for sex they would have sex with you if it meant sex with your wife too. I was once offered directly "I will suck your dick if I can fuck your wife".

If you google cock jewelry you will find numerous sites. We bought a very simple bronze penis crown from Extreme Restraints. They say for the crown to be worn just behind the head. I may need a couple of drinks to wear it out in the open. We have seen cock rings, piercings, and even a prince albert on the beaches. I've never been drunk enough for that. As for having sex with anything on, we've seen it done, but it would have to come off for us. Or perhaps covered with a condom if we thought it might increase her pleasure.

That is bizarre. We've been to a club here a number of times and not once has anyone even tried to touch Katrina without asking first. Every time she says no they politely go about whatever (and whoever) they were already engaged with. I've never seen anyone touch anyone else inappropriately and if it did ever happen all it would take is one conversation with the owners for that person to be shown the door permanently. Sucks that you had a bad experience. Good luck to you both.

I just hope that you both will get full STD tests and confirm you're clean before playing again. That's only fair to the people you now come into contact with. Especially if you advertise yourselves as disease-free or give people the impression you only play with condoms. If I was about to play with someone who said they only play with condoms it would be extremely disturbing to think they had recently been compromised and hadn't been tested to clear things up... and were continuing to play and put themselves out as a clean, condom couple. At this point, they wouldn't know for sure they were clean and could be exposing other couples who are also trying to play it safe. So sorry to hear about that bad first experience for you guys. But thanks for sharing. I'm sure your experience will help other people be more aware of what's going on, especially when playing with people they don't know. You sound responsible and conscientious and it shouldn't have happened. Hope you didn't get exposed to anything. Did your wife have any idea how he managed to take the condom off while you weren't looking? Definitely talk to the club owners. It could save other newbies from the same experience you had. You expected others to be looking out for you, now it's your turn to look out for other potential victims and help put an end to these predators.

Thanks for the responses everyone, I honestly expected to be told I was crazy. Sorry but my wife laughed at that since it was pretty much her response as well. Just wanted to pass that along.

So I read this and all I can think about is OUCH OUCH OUCH...but for the sake of curiosity I asked hubby if he ever thought about it and to my shock he said he thought about that just last week If I liked the guy enough I'd give it a try but he would have to know how to use it (in other words probably hold back and not hurt me )

My wife had one in the 9-10" range and said it was far too painful. However, she would still like to try a guy with one the size of a Coke can.

WOW I guess that fantasy is a tad more common than I thought. 10" would be wonderful, I would love to see what she would do sucking it. I keep imagining we find a couple and get no prior clue as to measurements and Barb pulls his pants down and nearly gets scared to death. I just think it would be funny.