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GET ME A SCIENTIST! Well, you're in luck... There's one here! The answer is yes and no. For short term, the vagina can stretch and stay "larger," but it will go back to it's regular size over night. Think of the vagina (and anus) as slow-acting rubber bands. They'll expand to accommodate whatever is being inserted, but they'll return to homeostasis overnight. A prime example of this is "the gape." You have sex with someone anally or vaginally and pull out. The "hole" will most likely be gaping open because the vagina isn't a mouse-trap. It doesn't snap shut immediately after intercourse. Within 30 minutes, it will look pretty "normal" again and by the next morning, it's back to it's normal size. What can make it stay "big?" Trauma. When the tissue rips, it can repair itself with a little extra room. Your body is smarter than you are, so, let's say your wife bends over, you think you're being funny, and you ram a lubed fist up her unsuspecting vagina. She screams and beats the fuck out of you. She looks down and her vag is stretched to the point of being ripped. As it heals, it will allow for a little more room. Why? Because her body needs to fix the damage, but it's also leaving room for the possibility of this happening again. If it happens again, there will be some more room and hence, less damage to repair. Think of a gunshot. If you get shot, you'll have thicker scar tissue to cover up the wound. A major part is that the body isn't designed to repair flawlessly, but the other part is to make the wound location more resistant to future damage. This is where pregnancy plays a part. Women who've delivered babies vaginally will sometimes be "looser" forever (if they do nothing about it). That kid pulls, stretches, and rips the vagina. It may not be evident outside, but there are tears within the tissue for sure. Many women do nothing about it and they eventually shrink down to almost normal. One or two kids and the difference is almost unnoticeable. If she's a baby factory and is cranking out kids every year or two, her body is going to adapt. This does not mean she's going to have some cavernous trench twat, but she'll be "looser." Of course, all of this "loosening" can be staved off with a wide variety of regimens. The most common is kegel exercises. Next are kegel weights. Another option is electro stimulation whereby electrodes are placed around the vagina and the muscles are forced to contract. It's basically a "forced" kegel exercise. My wife does this and she finds it pleasurable, but she also uses a very low setting. Some women hate it and say it's outrageously painful. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. In the end, your answer is yes and no. Yes, they can get "loose," but they tighten back up quickly unless there's been some sort of trauma.

You can't. The hurt feelings are no different when there is 1:1 dating. The difference is, in the lifestyle, "no" is reasonably assumed. Bear in mind, "no thank you" ends the evening exactly as a vanilla evening would have ended. A respectful yet direct "no thank you" is the least hurtful alternative. Moreover, respectful and direct earns a measure of respect.

There's no guy girthier than a baby's head. All three of us women in our poly family have had children come out the same way they went in. Surprisingly, the guys have said it is just as tight (and in Clair's case tighter) than it was before. It's muscles that provide the tightness, it's not like a rubber hose.

It's called home field advantage. We don't take anyone home until we are very comfortable with them and believe we want to keep them around for awhile (we don't want stalkers to know where we live). We keep things 'neutral' for the first few visits. Quit over analyzing things. If they said that they want to meet again, just take that at face value. They like you, they really really like you.

For us it’s an individual choice. We are in this to allow the other to experience and fulfill their fantasies. When one half of a couple starts interjecting their attractions on their significant other they will find that this whole thing will go south in a hurry. In our case she has sole choice of who she has sex with, and I have sole choice on who I have sex with, and we do our best not to be judgmental about that choice. Now that’s not to say, and it rarely occurs, but if one of us has negative personal information concerning a person that the other is considering being with we will inform them of that information. But that is limited to something that the other doesn’t know about that person. As far as physical characteristics, age, or appearance, that would be solely up to them. The adage is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless you want her to start picking the women that you can be with, don’t pick the men that she wants to be with. Swinging is about open and honest communication, if you start criticizing her choice of playmates, you will soon find her unwilling to share her fantasies with you or to take part in this with you. As long as my wife is safe, as long as she’s engaged in something that she wants to be engaged in, with a person that she wants to be engaged with, the choice is hers.

By not playing on the fist 'date', it's easier to say this later. While some couples don't like hearing it (especially noobies), it's actually the kindest and best way to handle things. Once they realize that it just isn't going to work for one or more of the group, you are just saving everyone involved a great deal of time and effort (and awkwardness later) if you just tell the truth in the beginning. Otherwise, you spend all that time texting/emailing/talking when one or more of the group has already said that they are not interested (and one no equals a group no).

I agree with Tahoe. Sometimes I find it hard to understand who my wife is attracted to. But it’s her choice. We won’t veto each other’s partners. It is hard enough to get a four way match. I just prefer that she is with someone who is respectful and not a jerk. But it’s her call and my call for me.

Well, we went to the new club and it was a bust. We pulled in about an hour after the party started and there were 3 cars there. Assuming the hosts were parked in the garage, this was a little too intimate of a gathering for us. So, we ended up going to Couple's Choice in Markham, IL (AKA Club Release on alternating weekends). We got there around 9:30 PM and there were maybe 10 or 12 couples there. It was a somewhat thin crowd, but over the next hour, people just poured in. At the end, there were probably about 60-70 people there. The DJ finally turned up the music, people started loosening up, and the party got rolling! Some guy fucked his wife on the bar, but he was done in like five seconds. My wife and I went to the room with the circle bed and I ate her out for a good 30-40 minutes. We had a couple people watching and several others timidly pass through only taking a glance. A little later, we were in the room with the pool table sitting on the couch. Before I begin, let me interject a little side note. When we go to the club, I pop a Viagra for a little added insurance. I don't need the help, but it has three main effects for me. I don't know how it is for anyone else, but sometimes it does absolutely nothing. When it works, it basically increases the frequency of erections, so I can get hard again within 3-5 minutes after orgasming. The other effect is that it increases the size of my erection considerably. My average erection is about 6.5 inches (7 if I'm really excited). The Viagra basically pushes me to about 8 inches ind increases the girth by about 30%. Anyway, she knew I didn't orgasm from when I was eating her and she could see my dick throbbing through my pants. While about 10 people were standing around, she just unzipped me, reached in, and blew me in the billiards room. It wasn't a "pleasure area," but this kind of activity is not frowned upon anywhere in the club. And, of course, after the Viagra boost, I was quite satisfied with my presence, so I was quite confident when noticing people watching. Lol. After I came, my wife put on a bit of show while swallowing and kept stroking me a little. I got hard again pretty quick and a woman came over with her boyfriend. The boyfriend didn't seem happy. He also seemed like he didn't even want to be there. She complimented my cock, my recovery time, and my wife's "sensual swallow." We hung out with them and talked for quite awhile. She was awesome. He was kind of a buzzkill. Basically, it was her idea and he was willing to come along as long as they didn't play with other couples and only used private rooms to fuck. Whatever. Eventually, my wife and I went up to the medium sized room (the Playboy Room) where a few other couples were already fucking. I ate her out again, fucked her, and after she sat there moaning and hollering from the orgasm, some big black guy high fived me. Lol. Now here's another side note about my wife. She'll take an eternity to cum from manual stimulation or oral. However, when it comes to penetration, she orgasms within 5 strokes. Sometimes, insertion alone will do it for her. While in The Playboy Room, we went at it for awhile and she got all tuckered out. She came, but I didn’t, so after a few minutes of playing and recovery time for her, she sucked me off and swallowed again. That's when the black guy’s girlfriend/wife (while riding his dick right next to us) high fived my wife. We played around a little bit more just to give people something to watch, but we were getting tired and ended up taking off shortly thereafter.

We try to make it clear that we don’t play on the first date. That way anyone can bow out gracefully. But if we are meeting people far from home and it would be difficult to meet again in the near future, we are more inclined to play on the first meeting. But if we never met before and we want to bail, we don’t want to insult anyone.

Sorry I just saw this. I may have input. SOOO how'd it go, need some masturbation material.

Extremely good, although I think I'd prefer to meet at hotels in future? Funnily it felt stranger at first, although once things progressed I definitely felt comfier and I guess more relaxed...apart from a few surprises! Apart from the slightly awkward start, there weren't any problems this time. They've already said they want to meet again, so I suppose they are happy??

My wife and I always had veto power over each other, except in one circumstance. We rarely used it, since we were closely aligned in our desires. She was a bit more picky than me when it came to male partners, so I never had reason to nix any of her picks. One time she suggested I not play with a lady at the club; she was right, the lady was a bit of a wack job as it turned out. The only place where we didn't have a veto was at house parties. In these instances, we'd tend to split up and find our own 'trouble.' I remember once finding her with a guy we both knew and had decided to pass on for a private threesome - we thought he was arrogant. But that night she wanted what he had to offer, so . . .

In my experience, when I am with my wife immediately after she's been with a guy, I can notice a slight difference. By the next day, that difference is gone. The vagina is a remarkably elastic organ.

I did something similar to MrXxotic during a MFM. I was riding him reverse cowgirl while he sat on the sofa and the other male was giving me oral. At one point MrXxotic slipped out the other guy started giving him oral. That opened up a new aspect to our playtime.

If you enjoy it, the guy enjoys it, your wife enjoys it...then have at it

You make a good point. Actually I do not find myself thinking about other guys just giving this particular one a blow job. So I might not be bi just like giving head. My wife is totally turned on by this.

Just because you gave and received a blow job does not mean you are bi. And just because someone is bi that doesn't mean they will give or recieve blow jobs from other men either. There are tons of straight chicks out there that eat pussy and pop off orgasms from other chicks going down on them. and there are lots of bi chicks that don't eat pussy or don't like another woman going down on them. Just as there are straight chicks that don't give blow jobs and there are straight guys that don't eat pussy. This really isn't any different. It just isn't as socially acceptable. Bi is if you are sexually attracted to both males and females. Are you actually attracted to males as your general orientation or were you just comfortable enough with this person to allow this to happen? My wife is straight but if she is comfortable enough with a situation she will give and receive pleasure with other women just for the extra pleasure. She doesn't really have the hots for them. Orgasms are a physiological response to physical stimulation and will occur with the right stimulation regardless of the gender giving it. What is the deciding factor is if the recipient is comfortable enough to enjoy it and allow the response to occur. Personally I'd probably run screaming out of the room if some guy tried to touch me but that is just my own hang up. I've seen a number of completely straight guys that couldn't even get it up with two hot chicks blowing them because they weren't comfortable in the situation. That's their hang up. I'd say you have a little advantage over them:lol: