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In the end, we wake up together the next morning. All that matters to us is that we had fun the night before!

By far the best and most honest response in this thread so far. Others are just beating around the bush and dropping cliches. to avoid the truth.

It’s not a competition. It’s for fun. I hope that my wife meets guys who can do some things better than me. Maybe we’ll both learn new tricks to use on each other.

Every man is different....If anything close to this had happened with any of my GFs when I was in the LS, I would have raised hell, asked for immediate no contact and insisted on working on our relationship. You took a huge risk by allowing that one sided sexual excursion. It sounds more like what husbands involved into hotwifing or cuckolding do. You are being way too forgiving and allowing her to develop her feelings for him while you're being completely ignored. If that's your thing, good for you. If not, put your your foot down, ask to read all the communications before she deletes the posts…..you will probably read hurtful stuff…. insist on NC and reclaim your wife and your position in your marriage. Good luck. Looks like you will need it!

I don't care if a guy is more handsome, more well hung, or better in bed than me. I'm the one she loves and I'm the one she's coming home to every night.

Hi I apologize now if this turns into a bit of a war and peace, its going to be a little bit of an introduction and asking for advice. I've been with my current partner for 8 months now and we have both expressed an interest in swinging. Up until meeting her I'd never really thought about swinging, yes like most men I'd fantasied about threesomes (MFM & FMF) but generally written it off as that just a fantasy. Before we got together we chatted online for about a month before having our first date, which was great as we really got to know each other really well (including our desires & fantasies) so when we met-up there was no awkwardness. Well during this time we talked about everything and she mentioned that she had had a threesome with one of her friends (and friends partner), and had been to a local sex club with someone she was seeing. I think I'm pretty open minded and this intrigued me so I asked for more details, end result was us both saying we would like to go to some clubs together. During other conversations we talking about threesomes, and group sex which led to swinging, all of which we have said we would like to try. Our only rules are "always same room" and "both have to agree on anything before it happens". Since then we have joined a few message boards looking at advice but never really posting anything. We also joined a few dating apps which appear to be geared for swinging, but have never really had much luck. The few times we have been contacted it seemed all they wanted was some photos or a hook-up there and then. We have both said that for us we need there to be a connection with the person/couple for anything to happen (not just a "wham bam thank you madam"). Here is part of the problem, neither of us are what I would call 'Gym-fit' and carry a few extra pounds around the middle but we aren't obese, but because of this we are both a little self conscious of what we look like in photos. The other problem being she works in a school and could be recognized by her face or a couple of her tattoos. Is there anything you can recommend regarding the photos? Is there something we could say/done in our profiles that will help? Is it better to start out going to a club and are certain nights better for newbies?

I see that you’ve made a new post on this subject, I don’t know why unless you’re trying valiantly to find somebody to reinforce your belief that you’re not being a fool. If that’s the case you’re not going to care much for the rest of my reply I’m afraid. There are so many things that I see wrong in what you’ve told us that I’m just going to go by the numbers and tell you what it sounds like to me. 1. You sound very insecure to me, it appears you are trying to be worldly and understanding but deep down this is bothering you. You’re looking for validation of what you know is a very bad situation. 2. In this post you casually mention that your wife originally met this man when she was in Europe several months ago. Then from that time until she reunited with her lover in Africa a month ago he pursued her online and by phone. You didn’t mention it, but you must have seen while this was going on how her attention focused more on him and less on you. That’s because you’ve allowed the contact that’s allowed you wife to fall in love with another man. 3. Regardless of the excuses that you’ve been given for her refusing to have sex with you after her return, it seems to me that the true reason for her not being intimate with you is because she’s found a man that she wants to be with. She appears to be home to tie up loose ends before returning to her lover for good. She may still have feelings for you but there seems to be another man in her life now that she truly wants to be with. If she was worried about STD’s she would have been tested on the day she returned, STD’s in this case is merely an excuse for not being sexually active with a man she no longer wants to be sexually active with. 4. You sound more into the racial aspect of this than she does. You see the enticing aspect of their union, while she only sees a man that rock’s her world. 5. You understand that it’s not normal behavior for a spouse to have hidden FB accounts for her to correspond privately with her lover. I think you’re just desperately searching for somebody to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with that, well I’m afraid you won’t hear that from me. The bottom line is that if there wasn’t anything to hide in her correspondence then they wouldn’t have been hidden from you. I’m not talking about the times that you’ve caught her talking to her lover when she blows it off with, “it’s (???) honey would you like to say hello.” I’m talking about the times you haven’t caught her corresponding with him when the conversation is more likely, “honey I can’t wait to be with you forever.” To be honest I think you two should be seeking some professional help before it’s too late. You don’t need help from a swinger’s web site you need somebody to wake you up to wants going on here before you find yourself being the ex-husband to the woman you love. This isn’t swinging, this is a marriage coming apart.

Our house is perfect for hosting such parties (on a smaller scale of 10 couples or so) and we have hosted other LS couples we have met at other events to come out to visit us for several days. But we would not invite couples we have not met previously. We did attend a house party 4 hrs from our place where the hosting couple rented a large 6 bedroom house w/hot tub and deck. They invited only couples they felt would fit the party venue and spoke with them on the phone prior to extending an invite. 15 couples and a few singles showed up. Was a great party and hoping to see a repeat in the future. The key was that the house was rented and not someone's private residence.

The correct frequency is the one that works for you. We have swinging-related excursions 1-2 times per month (club, meet another couple, etc). Swinging only works when you nurture your own romantic relationship. So, if you need more "us time" to strengthen your own coupling, take it. We had a lady from a more experienced couple share a useful anecdote with us. There was a point where her husband lost interest in swinging. She said, over a period of weeks and conversation, she realized it was because they were swinging all the time and weren't having their own date nights and regular playtime as a couple. She said refocusing on that reignited his interest in swinging again. I would say, swing as often as feels right for you, but be mindful of your own relationship in the process. Trial and error will teach you what is best FOR THE TWO OF YOU.

It's only 2 weeks since I started to scout out this 'lifestyle' during a transitional period between straight M/F monogamous relationships. I found myself watching porn a lot between the last several such relationships and was exceptionally horny during these times. I think watching women having a blast sucking cock in every imaginable way gradually developed into an obsession with me wanting to do it. It looked so damn good and was a big turn-on. As a very oral person it became just another body part to snack on and although the opportunity hasn't come up, I am rather certain that I'm going suck one myself. I've tasted my own cum on occasion and at it's best, it's tolerable. Nevertheless I plan on giving the best blowjob ever and suck every last drop out of the yet to be determined recipient swallowing the whole load. I'm sure that volumes have been written on this very complex subject. The old question 'why do dogs lick their balls', the answer being, 'because they can', fits into this subject somewhere. If I could suck my dick for sure I would have sucked it off long ago. Who knows if I would do it again or not but I sure would have tried. I think another good question on this board would be to ask guys and gals if they would go down on themselves if it were physically possible. I think the answer would be overwhelmingly in the affirmative. Because of societal taboos guys are fearful of being labeled gay. I think each gender is conditioned to be repulsed by body contact with the same sex.

Oh MY how I'd love to sitting in a comfy chair naked, fingers and toys going at it, while two men took my husband's holes... OOOOHHHHHHH I am so turned on now, thanks a lot Jackdav!