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The amount of girl-on-girl play is a factor here, too, I think. It's absolutely true that our 3-on-3 sessions would have benefited from another male if it weren't for the fact that two of the women were able to help keep each other occupied. All of the successful FMF play I've heard of among vanilla couples also needed chemistry between the women, or else the female partner would invariably seem disappointed. By comparison, it's pretty rare to hear a woman from a vanilla couple say their MFM experiment was boring. Same reasons, I think.

Couplers, congratulations on your weekend, and your lifestyle. Because guys peter out much faster than girls do, in group sessions I always thought that there should be more men than women. 60% guys vs. 40% girls seems fair to me.

The original post really hits home with me and my husband. Last year before we married I had a bi experience with a college friend. I didn’t know she was bi and I found out a number of my college friends were. That first experience included a guy, her friend. To this day I can’t believe it happened or that I actually enjoyed it. It surely changed my life. I know I had a guilty conscience and I invited girlfriends to our bed. There was guilt and desire to be with my friends. Having him watch us was strange and exciting. Then bringing him into the playing was even more strange. In the beginning it was more me wanting to be with the girlfriend than me watching. A year later we like playing together and it’s way more than oral. It’s up to you how far you want this to go. I say enjoy the ride.

So we are booked and airline tickets are purchased. We linked up with the Swing into Spring group the last week of March. Excited/Nervous/Turned on/Etc. What's funny is that my wife seems far less nervous than me even when we talk about having sex around others and enjoying the playroom. So yeah...it might be her helping me push my boundaries instead of the other way around. lol

I don't think that's a fair statement without knowing all the facts. I would suggest taking things at her pace. The only thing you said that made me go ohhh... is when you said she doesn't want more conversation about it. It's true communication is key. In the lifestyle, more conversation is always necessary. Forget the lifestyle, in a marriage conversation never ends. Consider continuing to enjoy mfm and continue to have the conversation. I think if you do that another women will be added to your play, once your wife feels comfortable with it. If you wait until she is comfortable no matter how long it could take, you very likely will both enjoy the experience. If you push and she caves in letting it happen before she is ready, it could blow up in both your faces. Be patient and communicate. And keep enjoying the hot times you are having!

I would tell her: "I am glad you shared your fantasies with me. I haven't had as much time to think about this as you have. Let's talk some more!" Get more information, ask for details of fantasies, ask for boundaries and her thoughts on rules, etc. Don't be afraid to take it slow and say "For now I'm open to X" and loosen your boundaries over time as (and if) you grow more comfortable. I would find out who this couple is and what they have been saying. But, its also possible (as she won't identify them) that they are a fictional conceit to hang her fantasies on. If so, I recommend not being angry. It can be hard opening yourself up to being vulnerable and laying your desires bare for your partner. This takes trust, time, and communication. If its right, you'll get there... together.

This past weekend was the greatest. Not only did Frank come over and Becky (who doesn't play, see above) came as well to watch the children, but also Walter (Lora's ex-husband) was visiting the city nearby and we invited him. (When in our earlier poly family incarnation of 2 guys/2 women, we used to swing with Lora and Walter when they were married; after they split and Lora moved in with us, we sometimes invite Walter to play.) So for two days this weekend we three girls had four guys to satify us! In our usual family situation, two of us girls gets one good session from a guy, the third girl gets second efforts from them, then we're left still wanting, trying to suck up flaccid dicks to interest and hardness again. But with Frank and Walter there, there was a guy for every girl with one left over, and the competition got David's and Red's interest going again much faster. I've been with five guys in my life and four of them were with me (and in me) this weekend. Nice.

Finding a woman in the L/S is not easy but no impossible (where finding a single guy is impossible to avoid even if you say you aren't looking for single guys). We also don't recommend friends since they usually aren't 'prepared' with the emotions and potential drama that could come from such an arrangement (some will tell you otherwise, but this is our beliefs). On line is probably the best place (see Find Swingers at top of page), but be prepared for some work. Single women in the L/S are called unicorns for a reason (unicorns are usually easier to find), finding a bisexual single woman...well they are called 'golden unicorns'. They ARE out there, but usually it is just easier to find another couple than finding a woman. Don't rule out clubs, though, you can use all the avenues you can find. If you are prepared to do the work and invest the time, you can find one, just realize that it is going to be a chore. Good luck

Regret is a strange thing . . . you don't have regrets until you've done something wrong, and many times you don't know if it's wrong until you do it. Such is life. It sounds like she's got her head together on what she wants, and how she might allow you to participate with her girlfriend. Since she's saying that this would be okay, I'd go ahead with it. (Assuming you want to.) And if you then have regrets? Well, nobody ever promised you a perfect world. Figure out what went wrong and don't do that anymore.

Newcouple17 thanks for the very insightful reply. We have had multiple conversations and she assures me that she is not wanting me to do this as a repayment for me letting her play with other women. I do believe her but I still thinks she may feel that she sort of owes it to me or something. Since she brought it up we have also talked about it and did some fantasy role stuff in the bedroom as well and we both loved it, but as you know fantasy and reality are two different things. If the situation ever presents itself to us I guess I will cross that bridge then, I just don't want her to regret it if it ever happens.

Update: We have decided on Hedo. Last week of March. We are filling out passport apps now -- hopefully with enough time to have them by the trip. I'm discussing linking up with a group that is going that same week. I'm told that is the best way to go as they take care of you, etc. I contacted them and they were very welcoming of us even though we aren't exactly in the lifestyle. My wife is super excited about dressing in costume for the theme nights. Will post updates here as I have them. Thanks to everyone for the advice!

Our first time was horrible too. I think talking about it after and learning from it helped. It really required us to be able to laugh at our ignorance. Reading your story, as soon as you started kissing, I knew where it was going to go. This was seen as a green light for the other couple I'd bet. Once things get rolling, as you found, it's difficult to stop.

Does anybody else like doing stuff like this? Once upon a time, we did stuff like that at least once month. Is it normal? Define normal. What is wanting to do it with an audience even called? Exhibitionism. Is this something you CAN do at a club or party? Depends on the club or party, but as I alluded to, it is a thing that my wife and I have done at swingers clubs in the past... both having sex "in public" and having gangbangs. Would some be willing to just watch, without touching her, if I can't handle it? Yes. In fact, the first rule of every club I've ever been to boiled down to "look, don't touch, until given express permission otherwise." Of course, none of that addresses your actual question... Is this a good idea for you? Right now, honestly, based on your post I don't think it is. You don't sound ready yet. Your wife has a fantasy and she's excited about it. That excitement is affecting you. However, it also scares you. That's ok, but that fear is telling you something and you should listen it. You've taken a good first step... looking for more information (and you've come to a great place to find it). Swinging is exciting, but the key to success isn't excitement or wild sex. It's openness, honesty, trust and - above all - communication. The decision to swing really shouldn't be made with a hardon. It should be made calmly, rationally, fully dressed and probably over breakfast. First, you need to learn more about this. You evidently have friends in the lifestyle. I suggest you talk to them. Tell your wife about your concerns and your fears. Tell her your willing to learn more but not ready to do anything yet. Read. Ask more questions. Take it slow. My $.02, for whatever it's worth.